Grrl Power #925 – Star crossed mercs
In an mixed alien/fantasy race situation, one could probably get a lot of mileage out of “It’s instinctive for my people.” or “It’s how my people do things.” or “My gods require…” It’s also an easy way to get busted doing something obnoxious when the party encounters a second member of your race and you don’t have the opportunity to flash him the “Bro, be cool” eyes.
This next sequence will probably illuminate my lack of editorial rigor. I’m trying to wrap up this whole Aliens in Times Square kerfuffle, and I thought, “Why not do a romance subplot between two aliens whose names you guys don’t know?”
Actually, that’s not true, Garamm was named just before he tackled Ray Cosmos. Dabbler called the flame eye demoness “Torchy,” but her name is Lapha. I don’t think she was called out by name in the comic though, but I’m going to cheat and add her to the Who’s Who, cause it’s my comic and I can do what I want.
Anyway, my bar for putting stuff in the comic is “does it amuse me?” and it seems to have been a viable strategy so far.
![Magi's Path (Aether's Revival Book 3) by [Daniel Schinhofen]](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/51gSuAGYkTL.jpg)
I pimped the release of the audiobook for Aether’s Revival 2 a few weeks ago, and hopefully a few of you have checked the series out. Well, Aether’s Revival 3 is out (just the book – the audiobook is pending.)
The new vote incentive is up! 
Maxima won (or lost) the draw this time. There are several clothing/non-clothing variants over at Patreon, including a special version with guest art direction from JJ Abrams. (Yes, there’s a ton of lens flares, hah hah. I amuse myself.) The a-cups will return next month, so please enjoy this offering in the meantime.
Double res version will be posted over at Patreon. Feel free to contribute as much as you like!
SuperheroThey're super, thanks for asking!
Meatspace ComicSeriously these are awesome. Check 'em out!
Not UpdatingNo longer updating or only updates sporadically, but definitely worth reading.
SeriouslySeriously you guys. If you like Grrl Power the check these out.
"Mature"Mature subject matter and occasionally something explicit but usually safe. Can't guarantee the ads are safe though.
Dongs Ahoy!Full frontal and backal. Lots of skin, sex on some or all pages, explicit or otherwise.
This is a very “Dave” page.
A whole page, drawn, colored, the lot – to incident a come-on by an alien to another alien….
Very “Dave”
and it will turn out that their genitals are completely incompatible. think spikes, breakaway bits, and bonus points for corkscrews.
…and all that is just her anatomy.
Wait… he’s boosting her up so she can see, and using just his… *ahem*
… I feel a great disturbance in the force, as if a million girls suddenly became single at once.
“Let me show you the stepladder of my people…”
I am sure that they can come up with “adapters” for those situations. You know, like HDMI-VGA, but for sex.
reminds me of a moment in Babylon 5 where they found some porn between the Pacma…I forget their names but they had octopus heads and beautiful singing voices, and a human; the crew commented their genitalia aren’t even compatible then cuts away to their reactions and one making the comment isn’t technology amazing.
I mean it stands to reason even with parallel evolution and some xeno-genesis even just slight differences can affect sexual compatibility, a few inches further or back, a few inches deeper, longer, or wider; even before going into the more major differences species can have like baculum, knots, stimulations barbs, specialized muscles, vagina dentata to hold the male it place *for tougher species*, among many other things.
Pak’Ma’Ra. And From memory it was Franklin (Chief of Medical) that made the comment.
thank you.
I’m reminded of a bit art by Stjepan Sejic on this very subject – https://scans-daily.dreamwidth.org/4923791.html
Let’s be honest. Given the range of reproduction in earth animals… sex with an alien would most likely kill a human.
Not necessarily. We would be physically compatible with a neanderthal or cro-magnon, in fact some scientists believe our particular branch of that tree is due to cross-breeding with neanderthals. And there are lots of animals that would at least not physically harm a human to have sex with. Even if it were gross.
So there’s no guarantee that all alien races would be physically dangerous to us. Some, absolutely. All of them? Unlikely
“would not” -> “does not”. This has been established (and disapproved of) forever vis-a-vis farm animals.
And on average, an alien would be in as much danger from a human as vice versa.
Most likely, though, the physical incompatibilities in a real universe alien menage would mean that, not only would coitus not be possible to happen, the two are unlikely to be attracted to each other at all in the first place.
“I’m sorry, John, I really like you, but your belly skin just isn’t blue and scaly enough for me to get aroused. Could you at least wear some makeup there?”
I have had at least 2 cats and one dog be (annoyingly, I might emphasize) too sexually attracted to me in order to agree with that statement. And I know I am not alone with this. There are plenty of creatures who have very… *ahem* non-discerning natures, especially among males, among who the general consensus seems to be, “Screw everything thing moves.” and “Well, if it doesn’t move, that just makes it easier.”
In other words…
Dog: “I’m sexually attracted to table legs… and human legs.”
Cat: “I’m sexually attracted to that pillow.”
Dolphin: “I’ll totally boff that lady… she might not survive it, tho…”
Ape: “I mean… that Jane Goodall is pretty hot, but she turned me down.”
Female Wasp: “If it moves, it will have my babies after I make it stop moving.”
Practically Every pet Bird ever: “That human over there? My mate. Don’t even try to get close.”
Japanese AI: “I’m EVERYONE’s waifu!”
4chaners: “Not my proudest fa..”
Drunk Classic Era Sailors: “That’s a mermaid, and I’m gonna do it.” – points at a walrus
Tsundre Maxima to Dabbler: “You’re sexually attracted to stairs!”
I pointed out farm animals, and then I used the word “alien” in its regular meaning. Bringing up your pets, which biochemically are your Terran near cousins, is not a particularly effective counterexample. And there is not any actual mating going on there. If you have a large dog or a small horse, then perhaps you may be able to correct me…. but it just goes back to the farm animal point, not the sentient alien.
By the way, wasps use extremely specific (ahem) victims. Technically, each parasitoid wasp species usually specializes in parasitizing a particular Order, not a species, though. And they only take a particular life stage of that Order of victim arthropods… egg, larva or nymph, pupa, adult. So they are not just willy-nilly stinging and laying their eggs in anything that moves. The reason for that is biochemical necessity… their eggs will only gestate where they get the right biochemical environment. Thus, they really aren’t going to want to lay in sentient mammals anyway.
I feel like the most likely issue would actually be chemical. We’ve got all sorts of odd stuff that comes out of us during the deed, and I’m sure aliens might as well. Heck, our fluids tend to be somewhat acidic, which could easily harm more sensitive bits.
Being able to eat the same food and breathe the same atmo doesn’t necessarily mean they have the same exact biochemistry.
Also, speaking of interspecies attraction, apparently Ostrich farms have trouble with the males falling for human dudes.
Perhaps not surprisingly, humans are exceptionally resilient even among animals. There exists a study of a village which survived (though appallingly so) on groundwater containing 5x-7x the lethal limit of arsenic. The human body adapts over time, true, but in its base state is probably more than capable of warding off a few unique sex chemicals.
Any species that isn’t so hardy will likely lack the physiological resilience necessary to survive and thrive until the space age. Not necessarily because they’ll be wiped out but because a mere pathological burden would be enough to degrade their collective intellect; to say nothing of the chemicals they’d use and inevitably be contaminated with while achieving space age technology.
That’s not the only point, though. Smell is a major part of arousal. (My brother used to be able to walk into a large noisy party and immediately tell if there was a redhead in the house.)
In general, very few human males look and smell attractive to any particular female human, and vice versa. The chances of having a two-way attraction is pretty low, but I suppose that if it comes close, then high tech methods of accommodation for the actual act would be possible.
One study found that people with substantially differing immune systems tended to attract at a far higher rate than chance, and at a somewhat higher rate than any of the hypothetical determinants the study used as a comparison. Those being skin color, eye color, hair color, ethnicity, etc. Additionally, I read elsewhere certain human traits tend to correspond with a specific immunological bias; one of the strongest biases being, you guessed it, red hair.
Smell would of course be a major determinant of immunological compatibility. Since the criteria is differing immune systems, it’s possible a human who overcame their evolutionarily ingrained xenophobia may be more attracted to aliens than they would be to most humans.
Tell me about it. I haven’t worn a watch in years because the watchbands keep melting.
I don’t dare wear metal jewelry.
If that actually happens and is not just a joke you may want to get checked for diabetes, alcoholic liver failure, or kidney disease. You may have some form of chronic acidosis. I am not a doctor.
What? Uh, I think you took the wrong thing from my statement. With the statement saying have sex with an alien would kill a human, the implied part is that their physical anatomical differences would be the cause. E.g. Aliens with genitals dripping in acid, or full of pointy bits, etc.
My point was I doubt every alien would be lethal in that manner, as there are plenty of animal species on the our own planet that are not PHYSICALLY dangerous vis-a-vis their private bits (as distasteful as one might find that, it’s just illustrating a point.) Not that that (insert animal) won’t turn around and maul you, or kick you to death. Just that their bits and our bits aren’t inherent lethal to one another. And I wasn’t talking about every animal on the planet, either.
Perhaps, as Jadzia Dax said on ST:DS9, the risk of sex with aliens is part of the thrill.
She and her Klingon bf spent a lot of time in sick bay.
I do recall one SF story (Short, thankfully.) where the primary obstacle was anaphylactic shock.
I remember a news story about a gal who died of anaphylaxis from dog semen.
Such complications were a frequent focus in Phil Foglio’s “XXXenophile”.
Contact-less.
Some kind of short range phone sex.
Or a pill.*
* have never seen that show actually, someone showed me that scene as satire or something years ago – it’s just as bizarre and campy as I remembered
It was a movie, not a show
I was reading along and thinking “Yeah, OKay, awkwardish and a bit cringe, but mildly amusing.”
And then:
“I’m not saying no.”
And I’m just fucking losing it. I know I’m laughing a lot harder than I should be, but I really wasn’t expecting that twist.
In the Bigger Picture sort of view, a major mission failure like this could result in more than a slight build-up in frustration that cold be released by (up ’til now) unrequited passion. There is a background logic that could be very plausible here.
Remember, her objection to him giving her a tail was that her clothes wouldn’t fit. If he’s got the money for “space lobster” and wardrobe, then something may happen there.
Space lobsters are great kissers, probably.
I think she wants to be treated to dinner… maybe?
Remember that episode of Futuramma where Zoidberg’s girlfriend tried to make out with Fry?
It would probably be something like that.
They make a cute couple
Oh good it’s not just me who was thinking that.
Nono… I was thinking it as well.
I think it’s safe to assume that you are among kindred spirits here.
My kindred spirits would be Tequila, Vodka, and Rum. Specifically.
Some nice romance novels and/or manga to go with those spirits as well.
I liked these two together already when he tried to give her a tail, now I like them even more.
If he had given her a tail, he wouldn’t be able to get that close to her now.
Just the right amount of bickering
If his species has tails, they have ways to make them useful for his purpose.
I decline to speculate, but Lots of earth animals have tails
Okay, these two, are funny :D
Thanks for the heads up on Aether’s Revival! Amazon’s awful about alerting me to these things. Fun page too, wonder if we’ll see more of these two after this arc’s over.
Just grab some random bystander, there is a good chance they will be a super of some kind
Does Super Horny count?
Since this is a place populated with humans the chance is quite high that they would get someone super horny.
According to one manga I recently read the Human Racial Trait is Horny or words to that effect.
Also touched upon, to some extent, in Freefall recently.
His version of ‘Sparkly Shoujo Eye’ is pretty disturbing too (to a non-reptilian anyway).
The Who’s Who? That any relation to the never updated cast page?
Who’s Who is the panel at the top right of the webpage, just under the banner heading. it tells us a short snippet about characters he’s tagged in that day’s comic, which is usually characters that have been named and have a speaking part, I believe, but there are definitely exceptions to that rule.
well, that’s interesting…
Off topic, but did anything ever come out of that sketch of the Grrl Girls at the D&D adventurer’s shop?
Was the sketch ever colored?
While I’d be perfectly happy with the very “Dave” thought that this is exactly what it looks like, just a horny Lizard making a random move at an inappropriate time (but obviously not ‘the worst timing’ as it’s being somewhat reciprocated), my first instinct is actually that Dabbler is putting out some sort of lust field (kinda like Vehemence’s aggro aura thing, just with much less juice) in order to sniff out any non-captured targets.
Or perhaps she knows where these two are specifically and she’s directly targeting them just to distract them for a moment so they’re caught flat footed when someone moves in for the arrest. (After all, Max would probably be upset if Dabbler put out a whole ‘lust aura’ and made everyone in the surrounding areas, including her, Sydney, and all the still gawking civilian, mildly horny.)
Or perhaps it’s as straightforward as it seems, but the next page will be Dabbler sniffing out their horniness as a direct result and capturing them.
Busted by Porno sense…. oh please have someone in comic say that….
Has been confirmed by Halo previously back when she met Dabbler and she pushed her lust aura.
so you figure the porno sense would also increase the short alien’s chest size?
This works in my mind +1
But could she sense the horniness from the background noise of horniness in a big city like this? Perhaps alien horniness comes with a special flavor that makes it easier to separate from ordinary human horniness.
Specifically a copper flavor.
Considering that lizardboy wanted to give her a tail a few pages back, she knew why he wanted to, and her primary objection was that her clothes wouldn’t fit, this is not necessarily something Dabbler-imposed out of left field.
the greatest deception is that which has a kernel of truth.
I can’t see a carnivorous species EVER smiling in happiness. It would be incredibly foreign to them, because it’s always a sign of aggression.
Yet, Humans do.
Granted we are omnivorous rather than only carnivorous, but we are carnivorous. Several species of Monkeys can learn to smile from us as well.
I’d think what matters more is how often those teeth are used as weapons against those they interact socially with; it rarely matters to humans how their food interprets their smiles. Admittedly, Garamm’s jaw looks pretty effective in that respect, so it probably would’ve happened often enough, meaning tooth-baring would be logical as a threat display, so I’m tempted to agree.
Then again, multiple human expressions can share a common element while having different meanings. Consider these two: :) and >:)
It’s entirely possible that a pack-hunting species might make such a facial expression when settling down for a communal meal, for example, with context and specifics shifting the meaning to “time to enjoy eating this space-antelope together” instead of “time to enjoy eating YOUR FACE”. Maybe the contracted cheeks and ‘Sparkly Shoujo Eye’ (as NickPG put it) sufficiently alter the message for Garamm’s species (but not for Lapha’s)?
Now let’s see if this answer has already been posted twice as well.
Primates will absolutely bite the shit out of things. They rip and tear with their teeth and hands. When they chase one another, the dominant one will often bite the butt of the other as well.
Hence why showing teeth is a sign of aggression in them. Humans are the only exception there.
Hmm, humans can do an aggressive expression with/by baring their teeth, to. Even with the rest of the face covered, most other humans could easily tell whether the expression is a smile or aggressive teeth-baring.
Alas, I can see some difficulty for species that can’t do much facial expressions, like birds.
Baring closed teeth appears to be a sign of submission in many primates, vs baring teeth open mouthed.
That’s one theory as to where human smiling may originate.
I feel like the reason that Humans bare teeth as a greeting (and I believe it started primarily as a greeting, and then grew to become a sign of happiness) is actually from a similar place as showing empty hands and shaking hands- That is, it’s used to “Show Weapons” as a sort of way to reassure the opposing party that you aren’t planning on ambushing or attacking them.
I have one dog that grins. It is clearly and unequivocably a grin, complete with wag and ear movements of joy. I have never seen that in any other dog, but the intention and emotion he is expressing is exactly a grin, not what that facial expression would mean in any other canine.
A friend’s cocker spaniel did that too.
Domesticated canines have developed the facial muscles to mimic the expressions of humans.
This is in no small part due to their close interaction with humans over such a long period of time and humans appreciating such responses from their canine companions over the generations.
there is debate if human smiling as a form of pleasant greeting is actually instinctual or the result of social conditioning at a young age, the youth imitating what the adults and older generations around them do per the social survival instinct.
this is debated because how and when to smile varies across cultures. Some cultures look more at the eyes and find a forced smile (like American bosses tell employees to do) to be creepy and untrustworthy.
Well a vast majority of American bosses are creepy and untrustworthy, so there is that.
One of the many reasons I’ve grown to consider the typical American smile as a sign of being untrustworthy and deceitful, like they have something to hide like a bad motive, approaching you with that big grin and dead or predatory eyes.
“typical American smile” – Even trying to be charitable, I have no idea how to interpret that bigoted phrase.
I am American,
and my experience of over 12 years in retail has caused me to detest the smiles from bosses, employees, and customers. Add the many more years spent going through the education system *including college* and seeing those same fake smiles from teachers, guidance counselors, principals. That wide smile with dead eyes being forced to look at my eyes.
It is creepy, I can see the lack of emotion, and its always followed by wanting something. A false emotion, an attempt to convey a sense of “I am friendly so do what I want”,
You shouldn’t be smiling if you aren’t genuinely happy, trying to placate or put someone at ease or whatever social norm reason there is has produced a society being trained to curl up their lips as a norm, and it is just creepy.
one of the good things about having to wear masks (aside from the obvious public health reason), no more disgusting fake smiles.
“Bye-Bye. Buh-Bye. Hmm Buh-Bye. Bye-Bye Now. Bye. Buh-Bye.”
Additionally, if you check out the different norms and taboos related to smiling across different cultures you will find it is treated very differently in different cultures.
in America smiling has become such a requirement forced upon people in their daily lives that for the average encounter, cashier, customer, interview, teacher, ect…it is treated less as a genuine emotional response and more an obligation to not look “rude”. Thus robbing it of its impact. You can tell from people’s voices, body language, eyes, and even other facial muscles that the smile is forced.
I’d rather get a straight face from a cashier than a fake smile, because the fake smile looks like something is broken inside that person, a smile with no emotion, especially when they over do it and give that big toothy smile, you feel they are about to snap and stick someone’s head in the deep fryer.
Seems plausible. I’ve supected before that when you smile at a baby and they smile back, they’re actually imitating your expression.
It really depends on if you show teeth or not
I’m surprised no one has mentioned the fear grimace that occurs in some human cultures.
Laughing can be a reaction to extreme sadness in Southeast Asia.
Is it odd that I find these two to have a cute ‘relationship’/friendship and I really want them to successfully get away?
Nope
Really liking Garamm and Lapha as well. I’m glad they both have names now, that should increase their odds of survival.
and then as they escape in their portable mini-ship that only seats two and one store area for a captive, they embrace in the depths of space….right before mysteriously exploding because…reasons.
Dave, I thought you said that there may be a temporary reduction in art quality due to the UNFORTUNATE INCIDENT.
Seems ok so far.
Clearly if not for the unfortunate incident, the art quality would be at Norman Rockwell levels, if this is considered a ‘reduction’ in art quality.
Now I want to see some of the Grrl characters done in the style of Rockwell. And maybe some Matisse, Picasso, Banksy…
Actually, Lapha looks pretty good in some other art styles. Had to stop after her though so I don’t get sucked into doing the rest of the cast.
I actually don’t doubt that, if given enough time to work on a drawing, DaveB would be totally capable of drawing someone with that much precision. :) You’ve seen some of his vote incentives. :)
“I am a shark!” ~King Shark voice~
King Shark is a shark! :)
Then at the end…
“It’s been an honor to fight by your side.”
And Captain Boomerang is “ARE YOU SH***ING ME?!”
https://youtu.be/Sqy1tEgAU3M?t=54
Yeah lol. There was another movie or something where he said I am a shark. I didn’t care for Apocalipse War… especially how they killed off so many, then just overwrote the whole thing.
Why does he have ‘anime sweatdrops’ in his eyes?
Panels three and ten
His eye is reflecting the flame on her forehead.
I think that’s the reflection of the torch light flame thing she has on her head. At least that’s what it looks like in panel 3. Also I just realized that flame has a pupil that somewhat matches her eyes and now I need to go back and look at her earlier appearances to see if it’s always done that.
I’m pretty sure that’s just the reflection of her head-flame thing. (What is that, anyway? Just alien weirdness, I suppose.)
I think it’s suppose to be the reflection of her forehead-thingy.
Thank you all, didn’t think of her eye reflecting in his (the idea he had anime sweatdrops in his eye is still funner :P )
And Elyeli, yes, yes they have
I think its the reflection of lapha
Looking at it again, it can’t be: he is behind her, and she is (mostly) facing forward glancing back (she doesn’t turn her head)
‘Lapha’, doomed to be auto-corrected to ‘Alpha’.
Is this how these two get captured? They trigger Dabbler’s porno sense?
Do you really think Dabbler would be so very rude as to interrupt them mid-hook up?
She might not give them a pass with how the minions were rumbling with her and Cora, but interrupting what’s going on now seems out of character for her unless she actually hated them. Which somehow gets me thinking; what does a Succubus version of a rom-com look like?
Hmm…
Well they did try to kidnap Dabbler’s friends so I don’t think she would be very merciful in this case.
If we live in a world where those two adorable crazy mercenary kiddos cant find love in a superhero webcomic then I just dont know what romance is anymore!
The analogous entertainment would be lots of people almost having sex. Think “Moonlighting”, or Shakespeare. They spend most of the story avoiding the orgy because they think the other person would not approve, etc. Then at the climax… well, obviously….
I like this thought. Dabbler probably is jazzing on a general bacground radiation of human passion and porno vibes in any city. Here she is in Times Square at night, she has to be picking up a general contact buzz & light snack from the entire general vicinity. To her, this would be fairly normal, and she’s just sort of coasting along with the usual contact buzz at the sub-conscious level.
And then … something with a more alien flavor sort of creeps into her awareness. Just as our lovebirds port out to safety, her ears prick up and she mutters “Porno senses tingling.”
In the future there could then be a callback when they are nearby again and Dabbler is suddenly like “There it is again!” and homes in on the source.
“It’s a presence I haven’t felt since…”
~Darth Vader
The only downside I see from Dabbler’s Porno Sense is that it tingles only when someone else is already tingling…
When romance blooms on the battle field…
Sharks man, not only have they ruled the earth oceans without significant change for millions of years, they’ve also gotten out into space.
Possibly on their shark space program.
Possibly because someone admired the shark and thought it’d be a great invasive species to put on many planets.
Not just sharks – barracuda, carnivorous turtles, the giant squi- AAAIIIEEP!
for some reason I am reminded of the “Fox Hunt” scenario for invasive species.
In sci-fi the idea being finding multiple worlds somehow having the same or descended from the same species of predator that clearly doesn’t belong there; to discover that at some point in the past some alien species loved to hunt this species so took it everywhere they went and released it into the wild to hunt; but it did so well everywhere that it reproduced, and in some cases where hundreds of millions of years have passed entire ecosystems filled with just its descendants in one form or another.
The scenario is based on the red fox. The British Empire took this animal everywhere for fox hunts, but red foxes are smart and react to being hunted by breeding younger and having larger litters, so they were spread all over the world.
similar scenarios are the feral domesticated animals and the pests.
On Earth, the Pigeon comes from domestic stock…yeah.. and thousands of years of repeated going feral and being re-domesticated; its not even clear like the chicken what the original bird was or even if it even still exists in the wild. As well we see pigs, goats, and other animals either escape, or are turned loose by owners who couldn’t take care of them, ran off after disasters to survive in the wild.
pests just followed people from port to port like they grey rat and the house fly.
(fun fact there, house flies shouldn’t be able to survive through winter, the only reason there are any house flies in colder climates come the next spring is because they hide inside houses and other properties that are kept warm, in the walls, attics, basements, and so on.
just extend these scenarios to space and you could very well find some distant relatives of some species after enough time passes.
saw a thought experiment once where chordates were actually an invasive alien species brought to Earth by early terraformers that were left behind when they left the primitive planet not realizing how well they’d do and how diverse they’d evolve down the line.
Allow me to introduce you to the space version, r/HFY’s Gricka.
All three canon stories referenced in the wiki are worth the read. :D
I saw “Lapha” while my mind thought “Naphtha”. After all, how flammable is something called Lapha? I vote for the next character with flaming features be given that name in some fashion.
Hmmm. I like Laphtha as an alien name better than Lapha.
I’d like to know how Garamm talks, much less kisses. It seems like it would be all guttural sounds since his lips are primarily occupied with the tusks. Lips are handy for plosives and fricatives. They are also handy for nursing and Garamm doesn’t seem particularly mammalian. Granted there are the translators for verbal communications and we will allow for a convenient alignment of the naughty bits but how do you get around the non-verbal communication of attraction/arousal between two quite different species?
Probably using the same mechanisms a parrot does for vocalizations.
He could also be making high pitched squeaks and whistles as a language like a dolphin.
Torchy/Lapha Patreon pinup when? ;)
Commander Susan Ivanova in Babaylon 5 pulled the “this is the way of my people” in reverse to get of a treaty that was supposed to be finalised with intercourse according to the alien’s traditions, when she introduced an alien to “the Human way”.
It had about 10 seconds of whooping and dancing, with aboslutley no sex.
It actually was a very succinct human courtship ritual.
“Lie to me about your portfolio”
Only in a mostly humanoid reality, I always thought that scene was funny and imagined if this alien tried to make contact with some external fertilization species that doesn’t have sex for fun and is only instinctual, or one where there is a third gender that the female deposits her eggs inside of via an ovipositor that the male then fertilizes.
or something more painful like a species with barb covered tentacles that wrap around the other individual’s tentacles and the two hermaphroditic aliens fight this way for one to insert into the other, lodge there, and impregante.
I imagine the alien in Babylon 5 was intended to be the male, there could be embarassing ones for him like meeting some alien slug girls (hermaphrodties) but their reproductive organs are a blue tentacle tongue that is ten feet long and has to crawl its away down the other’s throat to find the internal reproductive opening, completely unreachable by a typical humanoid trying to play the male role in that coupling. At best he could give them a BJ (we only kissed, but then she spit alot down my throat…it was disturbing…sir, that wasn’t a tongue…and that wasn’t spit).
Two aliens lurking in the background during this arc now take center stage and wearing human clothing…!
Yes, because only humans wear clothing…
I think my favorite ‘Its instinctive for my people’ comes from Irregular Webcomic: http://www.irregularwebcomic.net/659.html
I remember my neohews watching Ben Ten back in the day (which makes me realize how long that show in one form or another has actually been on), Ben would turn into this wolverine/sabertooth inspired cat alien; well they were watching an episode where a bunch of aliens were at a diplomatic meeting and others of that cat alien species were there, all wearing clothes and they all realized that Ben’s transformation for some reason is nude.
I somehow suspect that Wookies do NOT, in fact, have strong nudity taboos.
https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Wookieepedia:50,000_article_media_release?file=Wookiee_trench.png
nah that was just the berserker tactic of throwing off the enemy by running at them naked.
Okay. Explain the Christmas special then!
https://img.youtube.com/vi/gFB627wyzR0/0.jpg
That whole Wookie family has a distinct lack of clothing on them. Mother, Father, Chewie’s little brother, Gramps. Unless they celebrate space-Christmas by getting naked and watching low-grade hologram porn and cooking shows.
grandpa was watching porn in the middle of the living room…which you point out so…you made my jokey points for me. clown killer.
so yes, they celebrate space christmas the same way Futurama does.
A whole family AND army of nudist deviant wookies. Striving to be released from the tyranny of wearing pants any chance they get. *shakes her head*
Not sure anyone can explain the Christmas Special (which is why it vanished for about twenty years, personally blame Weird Al for bringing it back to General Public’s attention)
RAW ALIEN LUST!
Sydney met one of her species back on Fracture Station. Is the Forehead flame thing a fashion thing, or the manifestation of some kind of magic they have?
https://www.grrlpowercomic.com/archives/comic/grrl-power-687-a-friendly-tongue/
Either way, it seems to be color-coordinated with their hair.
… the color coordination may be fashion thing which actually takes lot of work.
And reflective of her other eyes
This comic was surprisingly awesome. Thanks Dave! :)
Looks like a volatile relationship. She’s a real hothead. 8( Well, no one ELSE wanted the low-hanging fruit.
And he’s always horny…
With that opening paragraph in the commentary, all I can think of is the Robot Chicken sketch where Han meets Chewie’s family… and they’re all wearing clothing.
Wow, some of the males in this comic just have incredibly poor timing when announcing their intentions.
Not just the males…
Him: I should warn you my species has a hydraulic pressure phallus with a baculum, stimulation barbs, and a knot, but I can wear an adaptor if you want,
Her: You’ll have to, my species has vaginal spikes to keep our males in place if we are over stimulated, twisting muscles to get every last drop out, and our vaginal secretions are 100 degrees Celsius as well as denaturing to foreign proteins as a hygiene function.
You realize this is only making some of us want these two crazy kids to make it out of there even more right? :)
…I’m honestly more curious on the mechanics dealing with her face.
the ridge which encompasses the top part of her face and connects directly to her horns seems to imply it is at least a stiffer armor than the more flexible lower jaw.
To me at least this seems to imply her species either are, or descended from head butters. A species that would ram their heads together. Although given the ethereal third eye I could see the same displays of dominance turning into staring contests.
A thought on the kissing,
while its a common thought experiment to explore the genitalia and ways around that between different alien species, one thing I don’t see explored too often is kissing. We see multitudes of Earth animals that can kiss or use face pressing or tongue licks if they don’t have sensitive flexible lips.
but we see this mainly in social higher up animals, mammals with kissing and licks, and birds which may press beaks, preen each other, or press faces. But you don’t really see it beyond that.
it may really be an unusual thing for some alien species, the idea of pressing their eating parts against each other as a form of affection rather than aggression, especially if they evolved facial combat features like tusks, spikes, venomous fangs, or mouths made for holding prey…this can especially be an issue if you tell them about oral sex…expect a look of shock and horror if you mention oral sex to a species which has hundreds of backwards pointing spikes in their mouth and throat like a sea turtle, and/or an armored tongue with razer sharp ridges, and teeth that are either scissor teeth or have silica micro-edges on their surface to both crush and slice up their meals.
A Black & Decker p***ker-wrecker?…
I hate to break it to ya but the Rule 34 crowd has already explored a lot of the more dangerous methods of oral, including most of the ones you mention. I’ve learned to ignore it, but yeah, it’s there.
I wrote a story once (a chapter really, originally meant to be horror but I have learned alot of people have taken it otherwise), where a man *in Hell* is glued to a wall where slug girls are both performing sexual acts on him while ripping out and eating his ribs. I have since learned that trying to increase the shock value through extremes of pleasure and pain being presented at the same time has the opposite affect on some readers.
In short, yes I am aware of that side of the internet.
Lmfao that’s amazing.
we all discover the weirder aspects of the internet in different ways. I apparently did so by doing the equivalent of wearing a band’s T-shirt because I thought it looked cool and accidently walking into a group of their fans.
I wore a Bigfoot shirt out shopping a couple years ago – a guy in the store came up to me like we were lifelong friends.
“It’s so great to meet a fellow cryptozoologist in real life! Which forums are you on, maybe we know each other?!”
“Um… what?”
“…you’re wearing… but I thought… um, sorry, never mind.” *scurries away*
I actually had a similar experience in high school. I was wearing a hoodie with a big fox logo, because I loved and still do love foxes (in my fursone era my character was a giant wolf-fox…yeah I know soooo original LoL); anyway someone comes up to me talking about drivers and upcoming races and I had no idea what he is talking about. The logo on my hoodie was for “Fox Racing” motocross; yeah I bought it because I liked foxes.
https://i.imgur.com/RCPYB14_d.webp
assuming that was for the opening post and not the specific comment you replied too unless you want to be sent a dark and disturbing rabbit’s hole that makes that joke look like vanilla pudding by comparison…the comparison being too an icecream cone made of human skin and icecream made of BBQ human remains that can still scream.
Oh, I’ve seen that one.
I just realized it’s way too small for anyone to read the link’s speech bubbles.
https://imgur.com/gallery/RCPYB14
Then there’s the crowd that prefers the “let me romance you with food that I gathered and ate recently.” The ladies love a good free meal, and with some species, partial predigestion is just the most thoughtful way to provide it.
reminds me of two things. The Freefall comic where the alien Sqiid implies his people regurgitate food as a sign of love or thinking something is small cute and could use a good meal…and its rude to pass it up so when humans would see his real form and vomit…well.
the other is a deviantart comic, don’t think he still does it, about lizard alien women and a guy who ended up marrying one, where in one comic she came home after being out in space and their big kiss was her regurgitating her last meal down his throat as a bonding thing.
Scorpions: They kiss, they dance, they sting their mates.
“Why not do a romance subplot between two aliens…”
Two??? Get back in there and do a proper love triangle! Everyone knows the pinnacle of good writing is the love triangle! Stop slacking off!
Well, the Too Much Information comic has gotten by for years with polyamory.
Then there’s also the ancient Greek infantry soldiers who were expected to keep a tight phalanx…
Readers here are very lucky, indeed, for I’m now offering a bulk rate discount on Brain Bleach™! As an added bonus, I’m willing to toss in a supply of Intra-Cranial Sandpaper™ too (also available in drill-bit form to be compatible with Dremel™ tools)!
yea I’m betting “what is this thing you call kissing” is in every intergalactic Pick up artists book of cheesy lines
Hey @Dave, will you update the cast page anytime soon? It’s quite behind on the comic, and something’s broken in the html.
If you pay him enough to hire someone, either to update the Cast Page or draw a few (dozen) pages
I have $3,000 USD to spare, who will match?