Grrl Power #893 – I’ma punch you so hard…
I would apologize for this page, but the middle two panels make me laugh every time.
People talk a bit talk about sticking a boot up someone’s ass so far they can taste leather, but you know what, if they actually did it, they’d probably freak out pretty hard.
- I’ll whoop your ass so fast if you blink you’ll die in the dark.
- I’ll knock your teeth so far down your throat the next time you sit on a bowl of milk duds you’ll have to be careful not to lose a filling! (<– This is a Sydney special)
- I’ll stick my foot so far up your ass, Red Foreman will be like “Yikes!”
- I will slap you so hard you’ll be able to get my fortune told. Cause… my handprint will be on your cheek, see?
- I will slap you so hard, you’ll be like “Hey, stop.”
What’s the best fight ridiculous threat you’ve heard?
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“is that all you got? all you did was give me a hard on”
I’ll stick my foot so far up your ass I’ll be able to clip my toenails with your teeth!
I’m gonna hit you so hard your next life will be bruised!
“I will grind you into a fine powder and sprinkler over my breakfast cereal. Like sugar. With the little teaspoon and everything.”
“I will mash into paste and eat you with toast. You will become You-panade “
I occasionally have been known to mock-threaten to pull somebody’s lungs out through their nostrils.
“Say that one more time and your tonsils will be wearing your mustache.”
If you’ve never threatened someone and always wanted to be honest and accurate
“I’m going to punch you so hard that you will not like it very much at all, I’d expect, although you might be into it, I don’t know your proclivities!”
“I am gonna punch you in the feet!”
“Why the feet?”
“Exactly.”
Rather than being grossed out at panel 5 my first thought was to scream, “DAAAAAY-O!”
…Broadway may have infiltrated my brain.
“I’ll cut you so bad, you’ll wish I didn’t cut you so bad!”
“I’ll come down on you so hard it’ll kill your grandparents….and their friends.”
Course if he were normal, she’d be elbow deep in brain goo… which imo would be far grosser.
“Dey gonna find yor ass jacked up inna alley with the rims all gone.”
“I may go to the ER, but you’ll go to the funeral home.”
Some movie whose name I forget, the big bad with a pack dogs:
“You can leave now, or in 8 hours when you emerge from a dozen canine digestive system.”
Now HW has the power set of the billion that hired her. so if he fires her will she become powerless?
“I’m gonna plant you like a daisy”
“I’m going to put you so far into that wall they’ll need a crowbar to get you back out.”
“Merry Christmas.” “Dude, it’s November 7th.” “Like I said, Merry Christmas. I’m about to beat you so bad, that’s when you’ll wake up.”
“I’m about to hurt you so bad, when they read the description of your injuries in the court during my trial, the jury is gonna barf.”
“I’m about to beat you until your individual organs become a slurry mixed with your rib fragments.”
Or I will do something incredibly stupid and we will both be the worse off for it.
So, what would happen if Hench Wench was hired by X(I can’t remember how to spell her name, the Boston Aztec woman) and then they shook hands on the deal?
Good question…Would it cause a weird feedback loop?
Vahriah
Everyone who Varia/Xochitl touches induces a different Power in her – not necessarily related to the Power, if any, of the person she touches – but her own Power is being able to make such gestalts in the first place. We don’t know what Power Varia would get from Hench Wench, but HW would get the gestalting power from Varia. And would then pick up a gestalted Power while she was touching Varia, just as she would from anyone else. It remains to be seen whether Varia and HW would get the same gestalted Power from touching the same person, but I would expect so given the derivative nature of HW’s own Power.
I’m gonna punt kick your ass up between you’re ears.
How long is her arm in panel 5?
I had one I used yesterday. Two teenage pendejo’s were trying to break into my apartment (I could hear them jiggling the doorknob through my headphones, so it was obvious what they were trying). I yelled at them through the OPEN WINDOW next to the door “I swear to god one more twist of that knob and I will shove your heads up each others asses and call it modern art!” I hear them take off screaming “We don’t want no aggressions!” ….No, you’re trying to break into my home, what do you expect? Fresh from the oven cookies and a glass of freaking milk?!
“I’m gonna rip your head off and shove it so far up your ass you will be ready for stitches.”
Webcomic I used to read years ago that I can’t remember the name of for the life of me.
“I’ll beat you so hard, even Google won’t be able to find you” is a personal favourite of mine.
I went to a bar (don’t all the messed up stories start this way) with a friend, and his GF was going to meet us there. When she showed up, some asshat blocked her and demanded she have a drink with him. My buddy & I went to head that off, and after some arguing, the guy said “I’ll fight either one of you!”
I said “Oh, ok, you should fight him, he is a professionally trained MMA fighter.”
The guy was confused. He asked why he should fight the guy with serious training.
I said “He’ll know when to STOP kicking your ass. I won’t.”
Two bouncers showed up as I said that, laughed, and dragged the idiot out.
“I’ll have a Bailey’s Comet, and I really hope you don’t stick around so I have to waste it on your dumb face.”
I’ll hang you up by the eyelids and kick you in the balls ’til you blink !!!
gotta give credit to a female Drill Sgt for that one ;)
Time to go Bud, do I call a taxi or an ambulance ?
Grossing people out is a skill Mr Amorphous should cultivate
Les is already working on that skill (remember him stopping the sword strike… with his eyeball?)
phrase translated the best I could:
“I’m gonna hit you so hard that we’re both going to die, you from the impact, and me from the shockwave.”
I don’t think I want to know the answer to this, but if his skull, jaw, spine are stretchy… what about his teeth?
Here’s logic: Hench Wench should run for office, say President of the US. Because, here in America, my taxes pay for the President’s salary, thus making him my employee. Mine, and 330+ Million other Americans. With an employer base like that, how many Supers do you suppose she would have as employers?
“I”m going to slap you nekkid and steal your clothes.”
“I’ll hit you so hard I’ll kill your whole family”.
Mr. A. must be loads of fun at the dentist.
I bet Brooke must have a “no pulling out your teeth to visually unstick the popcorn kernel rule”
And…
I’ll kick your ass so hard you’ll have to unbutton your tie just to pee.
“I’m’a gonna give you a mouth full of bloody Chiclets.”
“If I want any shit out of you, I’ll knock it out of you.”
“if you run, you’ll die tired.”
“I’m gonna beat you like a rented mule.”
‘I’m gonna punch you in the face so hard your teeth with march out like pikemen on parade!”
How’s that?
Well that’s one way to almost get Maxima to lose her composure.
Don’t make me break your foot off in your ass.
I’m gonna smack you so hard your grandchildren are gonna feel it.
“You just bounced the wrong Ball” At which point he drew and fired a pistol at our doubles. We still call him Stupor-Ball.
“Slap you so hard, your head will spin out you’re ass.”
Unless you can punch harder than a 1998 Silverado going 60 MPH I suggest reconsidering your course of action. Because they had to scrap the Silverado, and I’m still here.
Used this one on my son when he was purposely trying to irritate me.
“I will put my foot so far up your ass, and stomp on your testicles from the inside.”
Reminds me of something you’d see in beetlejuice.
Ahh, yes. Mr Amorphous still wins, but thanks for poking my grey cells.
gives grey cells a gentle massage
There there. Don’t worry, I’ll keep you covered up in future.
From Dr. Detroit (1983, Dan Ackroyd):
Mom, I am going to rip off your head and shit down your neck
Ick.
Gross