Grrl Power #893 – I’ma punch you so hard…
I would apologize for this page, but the middle two panels make me laugh every time.
People talk a bit talk about sticking a boot up someone’s ass so far they can taste leather, but you know what, if they actually did it, they’d probably freak out pretty hard.
- I’ll whoop your ass so fast if you blink you’ll die in the dark.
- I’ll knock your teeth so far down your throat the next time you sit on a bowl of milk duds you’ll have to be careful not to lose a filling! (<– This is a Sydney special)
- I’ll stick my foot so far up your ass, Red Foreman will be like “Yikes!”
- I will slap you so hard you’ll be able to get my fortune told. Cause… my handprint will be on your cheek, see?
- I will slap you so hard, you’ll be like “Hey, stop.”
What’s the best fight ridiculous threat you’ve heard?
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Gotta wonder if she’s less freaked out and more… “distracted”… by it…
The *HURP* implies dry-heaving
Todd Ingram: Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday.
Scott Pilgrim: What?
Todd: Because you’ll be dust by Monday.
Scott: Um…
Todd: Because I’ll be pulverizing you in two seconds. And the cleaning lady…cleans up…dust. She dusts.
Scott: Sorry, so what’s on Monday?
Todd: Cos it’s Friday now and she has weekends off, so…Monday. Right?
Truly the best fight lines are ones that need to be explained to the person you’re about to fight. :)
“I’m gonna put my foot so far up your ass you’ll be scraping athlete’s foot off your tongue for a month.”
Baddest taunt :
I’ll peel your skin and break every one of your bones. And then I’ll get mean …
Heres one that was actually said to me by my boss at the time:
“If you ever do anything like that again I will crawl in your ass and kick you to death from the inside!”
The hardest part was keeping a straight face while he said that because what I had done was absolutely intended to infuriate him by way of shenanigans. This was ever he discovered what I’d done, had hours to be mad about it and called my house demanding I come in early to work to fix what I’d done. I didn’t come in early, and I didn’t lose my job either.
Well, at least his girlfriend knows he flexible.
Oh, she knows that already. So do all the other women on the team because, you know, ladies talk.
“We are expendable!”
Expandable*
Nope, it was “expendable”. The warcry of a 1 lvl dwarf warrior.
I would depict how far has the joke went over your head with message here but this text field is few kilometers too short for that. Sorry.
Panel 5 reminds me very much of art from Wacky Packages or Oddrods gum trading cards from the late ’70s. Anyone else? Or am I just that old now?
I’m older than that, it reminds me of “Big Daddy” Roth’s artwork like his “Rat Fink” and other characters in the old Hot Rod magazines.
I remember those. That art had been around since the late 60’s I believe. Various comic magazines like Crumb had it.
Basil Wolverton
I was getting the vibe of the Maitland’s from “Beetlejuice”, but I can see the other asthetics as well.
Hope you’re not allergic to nuts, cuz i’mma kick your’s up your throat.
I was getting the vibe of the Maitland’s from “Beetlejuice”, but I can see the other asthetics as well.
Most over-the-top thing I’ve HEARD said in a fight? “I’m going to hit you so hard both of your parents are going to have died at birth.”
It actually stopped the fight… Both people sort of went “what the hell?” and started laughing (they were both rather drunk…).
Reminds me of the fact that pelican and actually throw up their own spines to clear out the bills
That is incorrect. Those pictures are just of the pelican’s perfectly normal but long neck pushing the back of their beak pouches. Think of it as using your elbow to turn a plastic bag inside out.
I love Hench Wench.
She can’t stretch like Mr. A, but she’s got the most elastic face…almost as expressive as Hugh Laurie.
I’m pleased with her expressions on this page.
Your expression game in general has been really on point the last month or two
Rightly so. Have a beer!
I also can’t help noticing Maxima’s expression. So conflicted, but damn me if I know over what exactly.
I feel like that cranial inversion was caught on camera somewhere, though, and is going to be giving lots of people conniption fits.
Especially Arianna.
Elastic faces are one of the things Dave draw best.
TIfa Lockhart doesn’t surrender to anyone!
My god your right. she *is* a parody of Tifa!
OK Hench Wench needs to become a recurring character. =) She’s probably one of the few who could go toe to toe with Maxima, for a while anyway.
Depending who hired her… Suppose she was hired by a team consisting of Vehemence, Vale, Achilles and Sciona… yeah, I’d say Max was toast. (Of course those would never end up as a team, but you get my drift. If Archon was dumb enough to hire her…. oooh boy!
I wonder….if Sydney hired her, would she gain anything? The powers come from the orbs, not from Sydney.
Maybe she just be able to grab the orbs and use them.
Well when it comes to contracts there are specialists at Archon who deal with the infernal, so my money is on some solid restraining clauses if that were ever to happen.
Besides that the government has never been averse to the use of contracted military to fill niche roles the regular would not be able to fulfill.
hey mang I’m gonna stuff your ass in your ass
Hench Wench’s cleavage is V-shaped in panle 3 and clearly U-shaped in panel 5. Is that the result of one of the powers she copied?
Nah it’s her boobs moving about
Nah it’s her boobs moving about causing it.
bah damn it. the first comment didn’t appear. damn accidental double comments
If it’s not a mistake, then the top’s actual neckline is a U shape, and the different configurations are based on how she moves her chest underneath the boobs. When her shoulders are wide, the U configuration appears, when the shoulders are together, the middle part of the fabric drops into a V.
But it’s likely a mistake, because the V would not look exactly like that. Ima go with “visual effect of minor power.”
It’s me not being smart enough to reference prior pages when penciling.
Somewhere in the LLC, there’s a swordfighting woman whose foreign name translates as “Unpredictable Cleavage”.
My favorite fight rediculous threat is from Kill bill vol 2:
“Now I’m going to kill you. With your own sword no less which, in the immediate future becomes *my* sword.”
“Bitch. You don’t *have* a future!”
I like the classic “I’m gonna rip your (insert favorite limb) off and beat you to death with the bloody end!”.
Reminds me of the original Planescape computer game. At one point, the Nameless One finds a mummified severed arm and can use it as a club to beat people to death with. It isn’t until later that he finds out that it’s his severed arm, from a previous incarnation.
I remember one from the subtitles of a Hong Kong flick
“Aye Spider Woman! I will grab you by your short hairs and send you to your gynacologist!”
I kid you not…
do you remember the name? I swear that looks familiar to me lol.
I read that in a copypasta of bad subtitle translations. It went “Ya-Ha! Evil spider woman! I have you by the short rabbits and will now deliver you violently to your gynecologist for a thorough extermination!”
My favorite unnerving cage trash talk was to stand straight with my hands behind my back and mimic Hannibal Lecter, talking in detail about how to butcher meat from bone. Mind you, I only ever did this pre-fight, and never actually talked between bells. I did, however, once buy a portable grill that I took to ringside. ^_^ It was quickly confiscated by my employer at the time.
Eh, I have a favourite threat in this vein, but considering it was said to a shapeshifter, I can fully see it being literal:
“Not plannin’ to bind or banish you, old ghost. Just gonna kick your ass up between your ears.” – Joseph Listens-to-Wind, Dresden Files.
Injun Joe is one of my favorites that don’t get a lot of “screen” time.
*Claps*
Nice choice.
Two of my favorites are from one book later in the series.
“Fuck subtle.”
and
“Moo.”
Granted, the latter is more of a Bond One-Liner.
“I don’t believe in fairies!”
Two thoughts
1. Why is no one taking Hench Wench into custody aqfter that? Why are they just standing around?
2. Is it a common underestimation to assume that Mr. Amorphous can only stretch his arms? It shouldn’t have come as that big of a surprise.
Why do you think Heatwave is interested in him?
1. Timing.
Remember, most of those reaction shots 6-9 are simultaneous. Everyone is reacting to what they just saw (felt) in panel 5.
This is a story beat in the fight.
First panel of next page, the next beat of the fight happens.
Note, from the body position of Max, that it MAY be Brut taking advantage of her distraction to get himself extricated.
On that last point I don’t think Brut with an umlaut is faster than a howitzer shell and Max’s trigger finger.
Best “I’m gonna kick you so hard…” award goes to Major Payne:
“I’m going to kick you so hard, the water on my knee will quench your thirst!”
Maxima’s face in panel 7 says, “I know I should not be surprised but… I cannot help but be.”
I read it as
“That’s… just … not right…”
I actually had a friend say it more like “That shit ain’t right… it’s just not natural.”
I shall recount one told to me by my wife, a former police officer. She and her partner were responding to a disturbance at a bar, upon arrival they were surrounded by a dozen individuals threatening to beat the sh*t out of them. My wife calmly grabbed the mike for her radio and politely requested 2 ambulances be sent to her current location. They looked around at each other and surrendered. The funny bit is, she later admitted she was calling the ambulances for herself and her partner.
+1 internet.
I’m you like you stole a fat man’s cookie.
I’m gonna beat you like you owe me money.
I am about 2 seconds from being on you like white on rice, in a glass of milk, on a paper plate, in a snow storm! (Thank you, Major Payne)
I’m gonna put my boot so far up your ass the water on my knee will quench your thirst!
There’s gonna be three hits. Me hitting you, you hitting the floor, and the ambulance hitting 90.
That was a pretty funny panel, yeah, but I’m not gonna lie, mate: Mr. Amorphus looks almost unrecognizable now.
Most of them do, that’s what happens when an artist improves their skill (or simply tries new things)
I’m gonna rip your arm off, and beat you with it. (Said to me by my father)
“I can kick so much ass my kneecaps will melt!”
“I will hit you so hard you will have anklehipleitus… you know, when your ankles are attached to your hips!”
I’m going to kick your ass so hared we’ll be in er trying to remove my foot from it.
Its like that part in Dragonball Z Abridged “Did I just see his foot?”
GM: “12 die Transformation attack.”
Player: “Transformation into what?”
GM: “Fine red mist.”
That panel is amazing. Excellent sight gag
People makin’ comments about what Heatwave may or may not think of what she sees, all I’ll say is this:
She might appreciate the tongue, but the fisting might be a bit much for her perhaps.
Wooden Poppet Familiar in DnD, in a thick 1920s New York accent:
“I’m gonna shove my foot so far up your ass you’ll be spittin splinters.”
My CG Warlock: “Ohhh I like him.
“I’m going to chew your teeth like bubblegum.”
Wasn’t really a serious threat, but good lord it was disturbing.
My favorite has always been, “I’ll hit you so hard you’ll be picking up your teeth with broken fingers,” but sometimes I get it wrong and say, “I’ll hit you so hard you’ll be picking up your fingers with broken teeth,” which is WAAAAY worse.
Hench Wench’s arm looks weird. A combination of weird angle and being seemingly too long.
“Leave now, or I will change your life.”
I was a bouncer and some random kid decided he wanted to get big, and his response to me telling him no entry
not so much a threat was
I got RACKs, on RACKs, on RACKS. then he swung. it was almost like a call to fight for him.
When he finally hit me it felt like whiffle ball bat. Remember use your whole body when punching.
Former bouncer myself.
Best one I heard was “Lady, I’m going to slap you so hard, your hair will colourshift.”