Grrl Power #848 – AgentConFest
Lorlara is 100% channeling Drax there in panel 2. I actually can’t read that word bubble without hearing it in Dave Bautista’s voice.
“Primitive fire stick” is such a douchey “my world has higher tech than your world” thing to say. Okay, maybe they’ve been using vape pens for 700 years, or they have some kind of “caseless” cigarette that chemically burns itself down without any actual fire or even heat, but it’d be a bit like driving Luke’s landspeeder up to an internal combustion car and saying “Your primitive beast-of-burdenless carriage is quaint!” Dude. Your shit hovers 18″ off the ground, which is cool, but both vehicles get you where you want to go.
Max is enjoying a little me time while all the other agencies bumble all over each other. I guess Archon wasn’t the only one watching TV earlier tonight.
I kind of agree with Max. The cloaks might kind of work for field uniforms, especially if they add a practical layer of protection. Yeah, they could hamper dexterity in certain situations, but they’d also allow people to ready a gun or click on their radio without being observed doing it. And since they’re a heavier material than a flappy cape, they’d have less chance of getting hung up on pokey out bits or whipped over their faces or anything like that. Plus, they’d be designed to break away with a pop of a button or two. Hmm.
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It’s a Fed Convention!
Also, who is our mystery car guy?
I was assuming that was agent Johnson of the FBI
The other Agent Johnson.
hahahahaha…I’ll be pulling ol’ Die Hard out and watching it tonight. Thanks.
imagine Die Hard, but with the Energizer Bunny in one of the roles. what character would he be playing?
Johnson is very familiar with the choices of Agents Spitzer and Swallows.
Poor Deus. Can’t have a simple meal in peace :o
All deus would need to do is mention that offer of a visit he made to Maxima now, and she’d be ordered to come.
But she was already there.
I mean to his country. He was offering to show her some of what they are asking about.
Come to my adopted country and see my collection… That’s too corny, no wonder she’s cooling down like an icicle!
I believe he was riffing on ACDC’s Shook Me All Night Long lyrics
COME ON FANS VOTE GRRL POWER TO NO.1
Let me see…
So, you are planning to outpace Markiplier’s brother who posts furry porn as a vote incentive in a contest of popularity?
The madness of daring is the wisdom of life, indeed.
Having seen some of the Grrl Power vote incentives, can’t really throw stones about trolling for votes with gratuitous T&A.
The current one is all 5 Harem’s in the shower, FFS.
There is a distinct and very noticeable difference between pin-up and outright porn.
Although I agree, that concurrent audience seems to be at loss in regards to that distinction, and so I weep for the endangered art form of pin-up, like a godsdamned boomer I am.
Also, I have no idea if Fish is posting porn right now – or ever, to be honest – because all my info on that is second hand swill. Never found Twokinds especially interesting, much less to a point that merits zealous following and/or regular voting.
Oh, well – we are not dealing with facts, but only presumptions today on much larger scale than some schmuck using furry porn as a vote bait, so there’s that.
So let me get this straight. You don’t know if Tom actually posts porn (he doesn’t, any more than Dave does), but you hate a comic you don’t read so much that you’re happy to tell everyone he does, for the apparent sole purpose of making him look bad.
Which, in fact, makes you look foolish, especially when you try defending your position with words like ‘in sooth’.
Funny, the vote incentive for the unmentioned comic isn’t furry porn, it’s a boss getting caught playing with dolls. Your philosophy seems lacking. Just couldn’t wait to use that phrase you “appropriated” from somewhere.
Ah.
The dreaded “appropriation” concept.
Alas, no. I did not appropriated, or – indeed – waited for the opportunity to use it, you miserable moppet, you.
The decision to use it was impromptu, and if you are not familiar with classic literature, that’s your problem – and, in sooth, you are the problem then.
As for vote incentive for TwoKinds – I couldn’t care less. Of course mr. Ghoti moved all the sleazy bits to his Patreon, or private Discord, or something – that’s not the point.
The point is, I do not care enough about dreadfully boring and uninspired pile of nonsense called ‘TwoKinds’ to vote for it and check picture in question myself.
As for your implication on my phylosophy, mr Kettle – this is my answer.
The Boss said I’m the only one he trusts, because I’m too stupid to ever betray him. He’s a nice guy! :P
Wouldn’t cloaks get in the way more than they’d be useful? Especially for people who can’t fly. I mean I’m always down for a good cloak but I don’t see people like Math or Anvil really getting much out it.
So this is the question I would like answered. See there used to be things like that and were done away with years ago. I was never told why when I was in the service and evolution of uniforms is probably a field of study all on its own.
So anyone able to explain to us?
The usefulness is too low compared to the extra complexity and cost of a regular uniform, so they’re not used on field uniforms.
It only covers the upper body, so the rain protection is to poor, and yeah, many uniforms these days are water resistant already.
They look good, though, so are sometimes used on parade uniforms where they can be used to protect all the shiny bits.
Ever worn a poncho?
In my (medieval events) experience, cloaks cover most of the body very well, though depending on the ground you might want good boots. That said, they’re not really good when you want freedom to interact with things outside of the cloak.
Yes. And no. I believe there are still places where beat cops wear cloaks in {insert bad weather here}. But beat cops don’t normaly count as Action Heroes like infantry grunts or special forces etc.
You can definitely stash useful stuff in/behind a cloak… But you can’t do stuff in one. Bullet & fire resistant? But also heavy. And emphatically good for temperature conservation — but the moment you do something energetic?
So on balance, Archon would for sure find them useful. Sometimes.
Uniforms evolve and they got rid of them as a style thing, and because they interfere with freedom of movement with your arms, so fighting is harder.
It’s a pity because they’re great in cold and moderate rain.
Well Lorlara, your world HAD higher tech. It currently has no tech, beyond fire. A lot of fire.
I now have a mental image of Max lighting her cigar off the smoldering wreckage of the Alari homeworld while Lorlara watches, the ultimate way to one-up her.
While Syndey casually tops any kaijū who attend, with an air of “these mooks gave your people trouble? Really?”
And ash. Lord, they have ash.
Ash and dust. And she’s breathing in the chemicals.
Used to good effect in the opening of this show about humans repopulating a destroyed Earth.
Why do morons keep uploading clips with the sound turned down to 10?
You turn your speakers up enough to hear the whispers, then you get an ad at ‘normal’ volume and blow your drums to hell
You know when I mentioned the government would send someone from the FBI to collect Deus if they wanted. I didn’t expect all the agencies to arrive like a Three Stooges skit.
;)
=^_^=
Agreed. I’m not sure many team members could get away with one beyond Max, Hiro, Harem*, Jiggawatt** and maybe Halo… who’d look adorkable.
*Although it would put a crimp on her carrying capacity
**If she can lightning port with it
Apologies, I meant to reply to Sirksome’s comment above
Though they are not going to get far all telling Deus he HAS to do what they want with all those ‘we need’s. Someone should be bright enough to frame it as ‘we would like it if’. Deus has too many politicians in his pocket to be strong-armed by field level proles.
And they are cutting his evening with Max somewhat short, which is never going to get you on his good side.
It might get them on her good side though: One Maxi is worth more than a hundred corrupt politicians (more if they are bought by SmugD)
Agent Guamunsdottir.. is Bjork an agent for the NSA now? I wonder who the other agents are..
Actually, it’s Agent Guðmunsdottir. the 3rd character is an “eth”, probably pronounced as a soft “th” as in the definite article “the”, not as in “moth”.
I was going to ask how to pronounce it so it doesn’t just sound like someone mumbling in my head every time I read it. This gives me part of the puzzle. Anyone want to help me fill in the blanks? :)
I generally go with this expert on Scandinavian pronunciation.
Guð = short “oo” as in good + “th” as in definite article “the”. Rather like the difference between “zzzz” and “ssss”
muns = short “oo” as in good, and sound the “s”
dottir = say “dotear” (= dot + ear).
While writing this page, I went looking for unusual and funny last names, which only lasted as long as the first two agents. But while searching around, I learned that Icelanders don’t have surnames, unless it’s “Parent’s name + son or dottir”
Kooky.
Those aren’t surnames, they’re patronymics or matronymics.
They are still used as surnames, even if they are not family names
Surnames =/= family names
Nice Splinter Cell reference. Haha
That boat cloak is the real power move.
Spitz and Swallows? Really?
Wow. That is EXACTLY what I was about to post. LOL.
What’s the significance of “Spitz and Swallows”? I don’t get it…
You’re not supposed to. Come back when you turn 18…
One of my favorite sexual acts.
Not as impressive as “Spitz and Gargles”
*curses my vivid imagination*
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Nice Austin Powers reference there…
There’s an employee issue in this. Dues’s line was definitely an unforced error in hindsight but the only correct answer to all this is- here is my legal team’s number. talk to them. if one of these groups arrests him- clam up and wait for (legal) rescue. Dues is too famous and too important to Arc to just disappear.
Also, I hope someone on his team has the nerve to suggest laying low for a while…
now if you’ll excuse me i have some crow to eat.
I doubt Deus would need lawyers for this situation. He probably has a number of politicians and directors’ numbers on speed dial. “I’m under ARREST? Before we go too far with this officer, you should know I was discussing just such a situation two weeks ago with your boss’s boss’s boss… Here, let me get him on the line for you.”
The immediate first response to any kind of arrest is “Here’s my lawyer’s number. I’m not saying another word until she shows up.” That’s why the Fifth and Sixth Amendments exist. Especially for someone like Deus, whose only real stumbling block until he actually attacks someone is the possibility of a congressional inquiry into him attempting to obstruct justice and solicit official corruption in front of seven federal agents from different agencies.
In his case, he might also be able to claim diplomatic immunity, as well as referring any attempts at arrest to his attorneys. “Excuse me, what?! I am in this country as an official representative of the king of Gayltn, and as such any requests for my cooperation should be made through the Gayltn embassy in Washington. Good evening. Now, Colonel, where were we when we got interrupted?”
Deus at admitted in public he’s not officially in charge. Legally speaking he’s just an influential business partner that helps the nation in question.
He can’t claim to be a diplomat anymore than Jeff Bezos while taking a trip to Britain could claim to be a diplomat of America.
Unless, of course, I’m horribly mistaken as to how diplomats work.
Depends on Galytn. They can grant an ambassadorship to whomever they like. Given that Deus is the real power in Galytn I’m sure he has that status if he wants it.
Yeah, although, the country they are visiting has to recognize that other country and they also have to build an Embassy for them to hide when they get caught doing bad things (or a Tuesday morning for SmugD)
Why do you think diplomats get kicked out of countries so often?
Even less, since he’s still an American citizen. It would be more like if Jeff Bezos claimed to be a diplomat for another country in the US.
He’s still an American citizen. He has no diplomatic immunity. And even then it doesn’t cover espionage, and your first response should be to ask for a lawyer.
Interesting point. I wonder what the legal position of a diplomat of one nation and being a dual citizen of the host nation would be? Personally, I’d expect such a person to renounce the dual-citzenship, but OTOH…
Depends on the countries in question, but there are plenty of countries that don’t recognise dual nationality, and/or prohibit you from holding any other passport or nationality. If you hold THEIR passport, you are THEIR national, under THEIR jurisdiction, anywhere they are in control.
I don’t know about US rules, but British procedures specifically state that FCO cannot act on your behalf, or assist you if you are travelling under another nationality.
I’m fairly sure a lot of Civil Service posts, at higher security-clearance levels, have a prohibition against dual-nationals. The argument being that a citizenship implies an enforceable obligation to act in the interests of that country, so they don’t want sensitive information in hands that can be obliged to divulge it. The point at which dual-nationality becomes career-limiting would depend on the branch of service, but in the diplomatic corps I expect it’s reached well before you get posted overseas – certainly if said posting would be into the arms of your other loyalty.
The boat cloak receives it’s due!
Sorry Max, you can’t get around Edna’s NO CAPES rule by calling them cloaks.
Cloaks are a lot better than capes.
They serve actual function(keeping you warm and putting an extra layer of protection between you and the rest of the world).
they are more heavy, they are around the body(less getting sucked in a tornado).
On a different note, yes, the amber liquid is most agreeable indeed.
Yes, I’ll have soem aber fluid with soem amber chasers — ith elps my tipyng becoe much beter 8)
I’m facepalming so hard now for not having noticed this earlier.
The scar on his face?
Deus X.
And his company is Machina.
Double ouch.
I know! Awesome, right? Noticed that years ago and still chuckle about it.
Apparently you don’t read the postings either. someone else suddenly noticed that same thing… about two comics ago, iirc.
In that convo, I was the one who pointed out the company name.
And in the original conversation, all those years ago, when we got introduced to the name of his country, I seem to remember DaveB mentioning that was not his intention, despite many of us noticing it as pretty obvious.
Perhaps DaveB could make it more obvious to new readers by just having Deus wear a lampshade
or a boilerplate?
And a Science Corner where Deus X Machina just grabs a hold of the camera (Sydney and Maxima were playing with it at one point) and just plainly states stuff.
He has the artifacts to make this possible by now.
“Replicas. Yes.”
“Hmm.”
“Hmm.”
Heh, Max thinking about fashion with how this turning out. It is funny.
Channelling Edna Mode …
NO CAPES ! CLOAKS ARE CAPES THAT DON’T ASSUME THEMSELVES !!!
Seriously, I’ve worn both while LARPing, I’m not a SuperHero but those damned things snagged on everything and hindered movement ! To the point where we did the dramatic “drop the cloak with a flourish” before fighting, running, or even climbing stairs …
At rest, during a parade, they look really good … and that’s all.
Seriously, that only works if you are a moron, or not a brick
The reason LARPer’s don’t know how to wear a cloak properly, is because they only wear it once a year
Fighting with a cape is something you have to practice. A lot. And it only works against certain types of opponents. In a typical melee, it’s just one more thing for a second opponent to grab you by at the wrong moment.
Once a year? ? ? How often do you think we LARP? Once a month, at least! And if you’re in the SCA, you could wear a cloak nearly once a week.
It was a joke, and the point is still: you don’t wear it all the time to get use to it
There is a lot of bushes, thorns and foliage in the area where I LARP … sweeping clothes = snags.
But yes, I don’t have 18 hours per day training in wearing those.
Heh, Deus is unfazed and loving the attention, but falls to his knees and trembles in fear when the IRS shows up.
Everyone does, not even Al Capone could get away from them
Even the Joker is not crazy enough to go against the IRS.
Nope. He has people to do that for him.
Heh.
Not even that, though. The IRS has no power over Deus. Just apply his philosophy toward everything else – be upfront about your greed, use the best counsel and the smartest version of common practice, take merciless advantage of every loophole, and effectively have nothing to hide because you are SO good and no one is smart enough to look the right place anyway, and everything you did is within a micron of legal according to the explanations that you worked out in advance.
With his offshore companies, he probably pays a fraction of what he’d pay here, totally legally. (Until a couple years down the road, when a tax law change allows him to onshore the profits at a discount, which he will again take merciless advantage of.)
Much like Apple, Deus pays every dollar of US taxes that he owes. Even tax holidays haven’t brought any meaningful level of offshore funds back into the US economy.
Last Week Tonight, always brilliant commentary.
Deus is a boring character with no real flaws. He will no doubt have some clever way to avoid the IRS.
Agent Johnson. Nice Die Hard reference.
There’s always a Die Hard reference when faced with the epic adventures of Spitz or Swallows. He usually hangs out until one of them gets involved.
The name is Spitzer, Ms Pand
So, I take it there are… rules to this condition of yours?
What condition?
Your apparent inability to remember the names of characters, or resistance to using their names in favor of bizarre nicknames of your own creation. Except in this one instance, in which you feel the need to correct everyone else on the name of a minor character.
I was curious if you can appreciate the irony. Or even recognize it.
Well, when the name is on the page it’s easy to remember (and plenty of others copied the nicknames in the past)
It’s a bit difficult to remember the proper spelling of a character when the author himself can’t keep track of it!
Well, it might not be going how Kenya expected, but I do think Maxima is enjoying this ‘date’. It’s been very entertaining…
You know, as we continue to observe Lorlara, I have to wonder: does she have any useful skills that compensate for her being completely bonkers?
She’s probably quite sane by her people’s standards, it’s just those cultural differences and her failure to adapt properly that leaves her looking completely bonkers by human standards. She’s probably mellow out in time, she also must have some usefulness or Deus wouldn’t have her with him so she’s a ‘Bunny-Ears Lawyer’ trope most likely. A competent screwball.
Don’t say that, that’s not nice, apologize to Pander, right now!
Although the trope isn’t actually lawyer-specific, I’m sure that Pander’s professional headwear collection doesn’t include actual bunny ears.
I have no problem with being placed in the same camp as Boston Legal’s Alan Shore and Denny Crane. :)
*hides last year’s halloween costume*
lol well now my curiosity is piqued. :)
I vote for this year’s costume to a) be worn in court (or at least the office party), and b) evidence thereof be posted and linked to here.
Plus the crazier she seems, the more sane Deus will appear by comparison.
I pigeonholed her as a low-born alari now serving someone she perceives as High Noble – a theoretically impossible career path for someone of her ancestry, which forces her to be a bit overzealous in her servitude, because she behaves not as an lieutenant to a Lord, but how she thinks a lieutenant to a Lord should behave.
On a positive side, being ascended lowborn, her loyalty to her Master is absolute – which is an impossibility with more ‘sane’ alari, who – probably – are already integral parts of intermingling web of cliques forming Alari governmental structure, and therefore can not be trusted by definition.
Probably wrong on that, but honestly I don’t remember enough of her introduction, and by the time I will re-read it, it all would be revealed and played with openly, most probably – so…
She’s an Alari, with intensive implicit knowledge of their society, psychology and so on. She’s also an impulsive nerd.
She is not subtle enough to negotiate among Alari in real time, but she is able to analyze what happened in a negotiation in retrospect, as long as she wasn’t an active participant.
She therefore has immense value in a very tightly focused niche regarding the Alari, as well as providing humans a visible reminder of Deus’s elite status with regard to them.
That doesn’t explicitly contradict my version.
She may be well educated genius with adhd indeed – but we know (from Deus’s words) that Alari are governed by the clan structure similar to High Nobility concept. However clever and apt she may be, low-born would never be allowed to reach her current level of social standing, if that is a case. Her talents may be immense – and her previous and current statuses would , then, serve to guarantee her unwavering loyalty to Deus, be a priceless instrument in decoding nuances of internal Alari politics, and could be easely used as a lever with quite a decent force multiplier to shift abovementioned politics in desired direction.
In any way, that nothing but empty musings from my side, so pay it no heed – beside the sheer joy of nonsensical mental gymnastics, that is.
Makes perfect sense: her actions mark her as being low-rank suddenly moved to the adults table
I disagree – the only reference points we have on Alari culture are Sciona (who sees humans as weak and deserving of being enslaved), Dabbler (who says they’re all militant psychopaths), Lorlara (who is doing nothing to disprove Dabbler), and brief, wordless views of some refugees and some clan leaders.
I’m thinking Lorlara may be a touch batty, but not that far off center for Alari’s militant clan/warlord culture.
She was able to anticipate that Deus would want an appointment to talk to Maxima as soon she called, arranging the meeting. Being able to guess what your boss would want in certain situations like that, and then having the initiative to facilitate it, seems like an invaluable skill for a PA.
She likely also doubles as a bodyguard to some degree, perhaps to whatever tech or magic his other body guards don’t have experience with.
Maybe the Ash Lord did give really good references.
Bulletproof cloaks might be useful for quick civilian protection in a pinch…
I’ve also worn a ankle length cloak while LARPING, and haven’t had much problem fighting or maneuvering in the woods with them… although I have had a pretty good amount of practice in them, which probably helps.
Nah. Check out the yash in The Jagged Orbit. Static protection only, and useless when under attack. All you need to do is lift the skirt, there’s nothing the wearer can do if he or she is unarmed, and you can’t shoot through them at an attacker.
For Archon’s use though, they would definitely have their moments.
Lorlara just brightens up every scene she is in with her spunky, sociopathic, narcisitic charm!
she’s very apt at being a jester in apparrnce (dang, why isn’t that a word?)
I thought Maxima was Air force? Marines have boat cloaks…
Presumably, ‘boat cloak’ in this case is an item of fashion – like ‘macintosh’ having nothing to do with apples, or ‘trench coat’ having nothing to do with Somme Offensive.
They’re ARCHon so they’re making it up as they go.
There’s some poor admin that’s writing regulations furiously as they do ANYTHING because they really can’t just copy what any of the other services do because it’s all COMPLETELY different.
That too, yes.
New bureaucratic structures are always so much fun to mess with, seeing how they sometime forced to divide by zero only to find that zeros are now under jurisdiction of other department, and so on, and so on…
ARCHON are not only superheroes but they also have super tailor on the team so of course they will have new and non standard uniforms all the time.
The trench coat was originally worn during, well, trench warfare
Honestly had to think (yes, can do that… sometimes) what connection McIntosh had to do with apples…
But Supers (traditionally) have capes. Rather than invent something entirely new, which would then need cycles of refininging design and manufacture, Archon have simply borrowed the design of an existing item.
NO CAPES!
I love how Maxima ignores them and they ignore Maxima.
I don’t think darpa has agents like that.
He kinda looks like Lester from GTAV to me
Backstory is great and all – but the comic’s pace has really done a nose dive. This ‘Deus’ subplot has been going for, what, 7-8 years now with barely a thing to show for it other than establishing him? Hope both the artist and I are long lived to see it come to any kind of fruition.
Consider that we’re still in the “Let’s back up a few months” flashback mode from Page 4 and there’s an awful lot that’s happened as time crawls along at a snail’s pace or like a molasses spill in northern Greenland.
Funny, but to me the months-long fight scenes are what crawl.
I think we’re about done with this scene, but there’s been significant development on each page…plus excellent art, punch lines galore, and a variety of female bodies.
I’m happy to let the man tell the story.
So, with that whole musing on the dress cloaks… we’re going full caped crusader, are we?
Actually, one of the ideas of having Homeland Security in the first place was so the Alphabet agencies, by sharing information, wouldn’t start stomping on each other’s feet as they all tried to do their investigations.
What? And break a centuries-old proud American tradition?
Hmm. One Agent Spitzer and the other one Swallows…
Sucking on ash?
Dost thou forgot the Holiest of Scriptures, heathen? For it is etched on the bones of dead Universe with the blood of unbelievers: Ash is our air, darkness our flesh.
WHAT WAS SHALL BE, WHAT SHALL BE WAS.
Read it again, she was implying she use to give blowjobs to Ash Lords
Ah.
I stand corrected.
Thank you, fellow traveler.
You are welcome :D
Minor problem for the lot of them, Deus will most certainly have diplomatic immunity and they can’t do anything ask him politely. If he walks, they just have to watch him go.
Diplomatic Immunity doesn’t stop you from coming down with a case of lead poisoning
Well, there’s always an umbrella in some old warehouse, and ricin is a bit harder to detect than lead…
Somehow I think that invisi power he keeps on payroll is close by
Would you want to be the GS-12 field agent that got the U.S. embroiled in WWIII with a country that has supers and alien tech? Talk about a career defining moment.
While you’re sending in the alphabet soup, don’t forget the BLM and OGA.
I have had far more (occupationally driven) run-ins with BLM than I expect to ever have with the federal TLAs. They can make life pretty unpleasant as well, just in different ways.
Cloaks with arm holes are the boss. Love mine. It is wool, with a fluffy flannel lining and 2 large pockets and 2 smaller pockets. Wore it out at Fest for several years. It makes an awesome blanket at need. Never had much trouble maneuvering with it.
Bet Deus pulls the “Diplomatic Immunity” card. Of course, the INS will want to talk to Dara…
That’s already been covered, on screen. Work visa, iirc.
Doesn’t mean that they won’t want a second look-see…
Looks like Deus is in the doghouse..! (Say that fifty times fast-‘Deus is in the doghouse.’)
Kenya was tossed around by her loose hanging hair.
I think she shares the opinion of Edna Mode on loose clothing.
NO CAPES!
So, everyone should fight bald and naked then?
Hmm, that would mean men either have to be eunuchs or only females are allowed to fight
There is always something to grab onto during a fight
If you’re doing it right there’s only your arms and legs, because you actually keep up your defense well.
As in clothing choice: jumpsuits are better, because if you grab them you’re not grabbing your enemy effectively by the neck, they aren’t wind sensitive, on a fixed position relative to the body(easier to defend) and they’re actually cliché super hero cool
No, many of the ancient Celts fought starkers, they believed their Gods would protect them and that if they did die, then it was because their Gods wanted them in whatever heaven/valhalla they had. So, no use for armour!
There is a difference between what is needed and what just makes things too easy.
And *nice* work overanalyzing my comment.
Well, with the place crawling with Feds, that pretty much makes it a night. Now she only has to figure out how to tell Deus about the underwear as she leaves.