Grrl Power #841 – The ultimate shopping list
Three hundred billion… over ten years, in case you were wondering. The details might come up on a future page, but in case they don’t, I don’t want you guys thinking Deus is trying to grab half the US’s annual defense spending. That would just be greedy.
The “Hung Like a Horse” super soda is the easy joke, but I’m sure most women would be much more interested in the “Makes you Last Exactly as Long as I do Because I’m Tired of Being with 8 Pump Chumps, but Also it’s Kind of Worse When He Gets His Second Wind and 45 Minutes is Seriously Too Much – I mean, Chafing is Never Good but Especially in Certain Places… Well, You Get it.”
Also that wouldn’t fit on the vending machine.
I’m not sure what it says about me that when I was trying to come up with a single comic panel that showed “customizable super powers” my first thought was a vending machine full of perverted shit. I could have spoofed the Captain America zero to hero sarcophagus, or someone looking over a selection of “super” spiders in vials, or someone standing next to a shelf of chemicals with a big tesla coil descending from the ceiling, but no. I went with the Pervert’s Delight Vending Machine.
I don’t think I quite got panel 6 right, but it’s close. The expression is supposed to conjure the sound of Marge Simpson doing one of those long, low grousing mumbles of hers. That or you’re supposed to guess Max is thinking “I will beat the smug right off your giant face.”
Double res version will be posted over at Patreon. Feel free to contribute as much as you like!
SuperheroThey're super, thanks for asking!
Meatspace ComicSeriously these are awesome. Check 'em out!
Not UpdatingNo longer updating or only updates sporadically, but definitely worth reading.
SeriouslySeriously you guys. If you like Grrl Power the check these out.
"Mature"Mature subject matter and occasionally something explicit but usually safe. Can't guarantee the ads are safe though.
Dongs Ahoy!Full frontal and backal. Lots of skin, sex on some or all pages, explicit or otherwise.
Yeah, that girl’s gonna get crushed like an insect.
The Alari really aren’t very subtle are they?
Neither with their Conversation nor their Cleavage.
I’d take Max’s cleavage over Lorlara’s any day.
Yeah! Funhouse Funbags!
https://www.grrlpowercomic.com/archives/comic/grrl-power-592-funhouse-funbags/
Eh, neither has the wingspan I’m looking for.
True – I was thinking, did DABBLER create that vending machine?
Well, in a roundabout way, the guy that invented Dabbler created that vending machine.
The secretary? or the Vendy girl?
The context refers to the Alari. But if the vending machine is literal, then both.
The Alari girl is protected by the language barrier.
I like to assume that Maxima understands Atari already it is responding, and politely simply because she finds acute that Deus secretary behaves like she is a Vaudeville villain
Daniel here. The only other Alari we’ve known so far was a hostile, which reduces the chances of Max having learned the language, however it’s not impossible she has learned other extra-planetary languages. Not ruling out Max having learned Alari however, especially with her Twilight Council contacts and 1 of their ships having landed on Earth…
She could also have one of those universal translators. That would be useful since that secretary just gave away Deus’ whole game plan.
I’ve got a silly feeling that that bit Maxi had already figured out. But I bet she’s interested that Deus now has (at least one) Alari staff…
Well, Lorlara gave away her understanding of what Deus’ plan is, but that understanding is filtered through her culture. For instance, I’m sure “hostile takeover” has a completely different meaning in Alari culture.
This.
Only if Maxima actually understood how to speak Alari. Which I’m going to assume she doesn’t. Probably only Cora and Dabbler understand Alari.
Cora because I’m betting she has one of those universal translators.
Dabbler because she’s Dabbler and learning a few hundred languages is probably child’s play for her.
Dabbler… universal translator/tongues spell…
Just saying…
Dabbler has a tongue. And knows how to use it
And since it’s Dabbler, we can safely assume it is indeed a universal tongue.
I’m pretty sure Dabbler has many tongues spells (and a “many tongues” spell), and equally sure that only one of them has anything to do with translating languages. Pretty much swap “tongue” out for one of the words in most D&D spells, and she probably has that spell:
* Tongue Door (Dimension Door): creates a portal allowing her tongue to enter, and reappear anywhere withing ~60 feet (“now you’re thinking with portals”).
* Lightning Tongue (Lightning Bolt): “The other Shocker.”
* Dabbler’s Irresistible Tongue (Otto’s Irresistible Dance): The target is unable to do anything but wriggle in response to the irresistible tonguing until their will allows them to break free.
Etc.
* Protection from tongue (A must for anyone who has to spend time around Dabbler.)
* Speak with tongue (Anyone can cast it as a free action.)
* Cure critical tongues (Stops people from saying bad things about your work.)
* Deathtongue (Summons a heavy metal band fronted by a cat.)
* Detect tongue (Touch range, the somatic component is sticking your fingers in the target’s mouth.)
* Remove tongue (Like silence, but it does damage too.)
* Find tongue (Self-only, not particularly useful unless someone’s cast remove tongue on you… however, it has a verbal component.)
* Tasha’s hideous uncontrollable tongue
* Spell tongue (T-O-N-G-U-E. If you were wondering.)
* Teleport without tongue (Just like teleport, except there’s no verbal component… a good escape spell if someone casts remove tongue on you.)
* Evard’s tongue tentacles (I’m sure you’ve seen the hentai.)
* Tongue of thorns (Not actually much fun for anyone involved.)
* Magic mouth
I could see some of those being useful with Sydney. Of course, then we have to add:
* Power Word Stun: Sydney lets go with a line of creative adjectives. The semantic component involves stubbing her toe. Same effect as the usual spell, but everyone within 60 feet is affected, not just one creature. Each affected creature can make a d20 Wisdom check, once per minute, to stop being affected.
* Fire Tongue (Fireball): The material component is a full bottle of Ghost Pepper hot sauce, which is entirely used up during the casting. For 1 minute, anybody within 6 feet takes 1d8 fire damage, or at least feels they have. If this much damage would normally render the person unconscious or dead, the person is stunned instead. All others lose 2 to initiative.
Sydney has already demonstrated proficiency with disabling an opponent using a tongue by means of grappling. I’m not sure what class that technique would belong to, though – one for a beserker monk/cleric, perhaps?
So does Kenya now, 1001 Dabbler tongue uses + tape measure, so 1002 Dabbler tongue uses…
No, she doesn’t know any Alar. She’s just playing it cool after someone thumped down on her table and started babbling in her face.
So Word Of God is Max didn’t understand a word of that maniacal rant, but is used to that kinda thing enough for her to just calmly react like this? Fair enough, I can see that…
You can always tell a truly-ruly real strong person from the rest of the rabble.
… You seem decent fella — I hate to die.
They don’t waste time with stupid outrage.
Yeah I was kinda wondering why Lorlara would just pop up at their table in the middle of a fancy restaurant and start shouting in Max’s face. Even if Deus owns the restaurant. Unless they’ve cleared the rest of the place, it’s a pretty odd thing to do even as a minion.
Oh too bad. Still it shows Max is very good at being calm under what most would consider stressful situation. I’m surprised the arc didn’t immediately start using their connections to teach their agents Atari language after the ships made contact and allowed to land
Why would they do that? There are no Alari (that Archon knows about) in the USA, so why bother?
I’d lay odds that this evening’s event is the first time Archon has seen Lorlara, and there’s only one of her. That we know about.
Better to make sure all agents are fluent in Spanish methinks.
No, they know there is an Alari ship in Douchesylvania, that’s why they were holding that press conference announcing that, yes, Hyu-mons are not alone in the Galaxy
So which asian country is it supposed to be in the second panel?
China, Xi Jinping, the ruling despot, being Pooh Bear is a common meme that got Pooh banned in China.
Ok, I both confused Xi Jinping with Kim Jong-Un and Yuan with Yen. So that one’s on me.
That should be the Korean People’s won (₩) (KPW). But I’ll let you keep it :)
First time I am this early, anyway, Deus… dude tango foxtrot man.
What are you “tango foxtroting” about? Deus wants his Galytn project to go faster, and he pointed out with utter clarity that he’d prefer that the US borrow the money from China to make this happen so that he doesn’t have to. Which seems like a fantastic plan to me, and one which would probably work in real life.
Think about it: Unlike the fantasies some had in the past comic about Israel suddenly reversing all of their policies and welcoming in a pile of aliens, the US has a long and storied history of supporting nations which stabilize regions. Both through foreign aid, which Galytn doesn’t need but that has never stopped the US from donating anyway, and through support such as military contracts.
The last is probably a much harder sell, because while it is true that the US has a huge and ravenously hungry military industrial complex, it is mostly fed for purposes of re-elections. It is the very definition of waste/fraud/abuse: Unnecessary dollars being spent purely for political reasons*. Congresspersons just love to point out to their constituents just how many jobs and dollars they brought into their districts/states, and the people employed as a result are pretty likely to be supporters come election time. Another well-worn trick is to break up a contract into money for all/many states , so that everyone will vote for the spending bill, and so that anyone who doesn’t vote for it will have immediate reelection/primary issues (You’ve seen the ads: “Senator Fauxname voted against a bill which would have brought $X mega dollars into our state, providing jobs to your friends and neighbors. Senator Fauxname isn’t right for our state.”). So it is both carrot and stick at the same time.
But none of that applies at all to contracts given overseas. Not even if there are a few US jobs involved as management or engineering or whatever. Because it isn’t many jobs, the manufacturing isn’t done in the US, and the money those people spend for food/rent/entertainment doesn’t flow into the US economy.
.
* Occasionally the news will even cover stories about how the Army (replace with whichever branch is involved) told Congress that it does not need another X (pile of tanks, whatever), and Congress appropriating the funds for this thing that is unneeded anyway. Pork barrel spending, all so that some Senator can crow about the money they brought into their state. Money borrowed from the Chinese, and money which their constituents kids and grandkids will have to pay back with interest.
On the occasional instance of Congress getting it right, they have repeated foiled the Air Forces attempts to eliminate the A-10 (because the fly boys don’t want to play in the dust at ground level), when the Army justifiably needs such a plane supporting the boys on the ground.
Oberon – I agree with most of what you say above.
Much worldwide spending on “defense” is driven by USA massive overspending. If a government is not on friendly terms with the USA, they fear that all those arms will be used to threaten them. (Particularly if some propagandist with fascist leanings decides to make America great again.) And so they waste more cash on arms than they want to.
I can’t agree that “the US has a long and storied history of supporting nations which stabilize regions”. I think you didn’t think that through.
In the past century, the USA had a history of supporting LEADERS who promised stable support for US interests – particularly against the USSR in the Cold War.
So, the US supported every right-wing dictator in the world, and often helped to create them. It didn’t matter what they did to their people. They were “good guys”, if they opposed the USSR, offered military bases to the US and bought US arms. Examine the history of almost every right-wing dictator since WW II, if you doubt me.
And the US tried to destabilise any government seen as “too left-wing”. The long term example was Cuba, of course. Another nasty example was the (CIA sponsored) coup in Chile and the vicious swine who replaced Allende.
Please don’t misunderstand me. I fully agree with the rest of your comment.
I am German and I do want to know what you envision the German version of that vending machine to provide.
For today’s Germany. Not any of the many historic versions.
I second this motion. What does our clicheed reputation look like to the average Murrican?
We’ll have to make our own German version if Dave doesn’t. The Schumi-Smoothie (or -Schmusi, because that’s how “we” would pronounce it) has to be on that list.
Make good beer, sausage and sauerkraut? Like scheisse porn? Enjoy leiderhosen? Producers of fine automobiles? Really into the EU?
Geeze, I don’t think there really are any hardcore ‘Murican stereotypes of Germany anymore.
You’re asking that on THIS forum? All you’ll get is a bunch of weirdos’ clicheed versions of ” Muricans’ ” clicheed versions of Germans.
Bad food + sexual deviancy = Germany. That’s the opinion.
I’m an Italian-descendant American, and we use a lot of herbs and spices, but the Germans don’t, so it’s considered bad food. But I’ve lived with a German immigrant and her food wasn’t bad- she just was really specific on what foods she’d get so the natural flavors of the food itself, not additives, were the flavors. A talented cook can make better food using German cooking methods than American- we put way too much salt and sugar into stuff.
German food is meat-heavy, but not bad. You’re thinking of the English and what they think of as “cuisine”.
“I prefer British cuisine, where everything is boiled until it’s grey and then covered in cheese. Yummy.”
Also, the complete inability to distinguish light comedy from the darkest, goriest tragedy…
I’m fairly sure that selections #3 and #5 remain the same pretty much everywhere in the world.
And #4.
We need sketches of some of these in action. I wonder if they stack, or it’s it 1-at-a-time?
Not German but more to the west. Quite curious.
I’m Polish and I’m curious, too :))
As an American, my stereotype of German sexuality (to the extent that it differs from everywhere else, because I agree that most of those are universal) is that there’s a lot of leather, discipline, and the like. So presumably the German version gives you the ability to wear nipple clamps for hours at a time.
And obviously, the family-friendly version of German super juice is here to pump *claps* you up. (/incredibly dated reference)
Considering the names of the posters, the dated reference seems entirely appropriate. Please consider yourself upvoted.
Also, pooping and possibly vomit. The stereotype of German porn is that it’s super gross.
I’m not proud of being able to explain that poop porn thing. But since I have an explanation here it is:
It was always legal in Germany. Most porn producing countries had at times restrictions to combine feces and porn. Not so Germany. So, the demand was not higher in Germany. But we produced for the world market.
Well now I feel kind of bad about the implication in the stinger.
So the slot is the ability to analyze international market demands and put them into production, even if everyone else is grossed out?
Well, I take that.
The person gets turned into an elderly man with grey frizzy hair and a German accent and is made the scientific expert on the government task force on how to defeat the attacking monster/ giant robot/ alien armada. (This is a sci-fi universe after all)
As French I’m aslo curious . Perhaps for the same reason as PiotrW.
Spanky. Very spanky.
How do you say anal plow auger in German?
Elektonica music flashing light ?
Pony girl bit and mask?
Thats the Eurotrip jokes
I tried to translate. But noticed that most of my porn vocabulary is English, not German.
Well, you know what they say: if it exists, it’ll be used for or in porn one way or another.
I agree, remember that the format wars (BETA MAX vs. VHS) was decided by the porn industry. Oh, and also DVD vs. laserdisk if I remember correctly…
Not, VHS vs Betamax was won by the Rental industry: VHS made it really easy to rent their machines in the early days, so everyone’s home videos (holiday recordings, TV shows, etc) were all VHS, so that’s what they bought to play them back once the machines were more affordable
Ah yes, “family movies”, that one thing everyone had of course and were willing to sink hundreds and thousands of dollars into. I’m SURE porn being blocked out of Betamax had NOTHING to do with its ultimate failure to reach widespread appeal and commercial triumph over the format that welcomed it with legs wide open.
You’re both kind of right. Sony wasn’t willing to license Betamax encoding to porn distributors, which meant that the budding video rental industry, when it had to choose format exclusivity, went with the one it could rent out of both parts of the store.
So I guess the experiment to use the Sony format never made it out of Beta.
You… both know that Betamax was still being produced up to just a few years ago, right? When did they stop making VHS tapes? Some time in the late 90’s?
Basically, win by porn, die by porn. When porn moved on to other formats, VHS basically had no customer base left.
Betamax was fueled by fanatics, so of course it survived until long after its technical advantages were not as significant as its competitor’s successor’s technical advantages.
Betamax was being used in newsrooms, because it was far superior quality (and consequently, more expensive)
Yep … all the local cable access stations I know of still use Betamax. Though it’s becoming difficult to find anyone to repair the machines.
Remember that the porn industry backed HD-DVD over Blu-ray…
It’s the Rule of First Adopters. New technologies are almost always tested first by fringe or vice inclined industries (porn, sex workers, gambling, etc.) because the related mainstream industries have more at stake if they have an embarrassing public failure of a new product. Once the fringe industries beta test the different versions of the new technologies, the one(s) that they find most successful is usually the one(s) that become the market leaders in the mainstream.
LOLed hard at the vending machine, especially her suggestion. Daniel the Human says there’s much evidence that bigger tackle usually means less skills, relying on the size instead. He says he prefers having skills instead…
I’m wondering if that Octo-Tentacles drink will work on Cybertronians… ;)
You’re right… but in defense of the drink, it’s not going to be used by guys that already “have nothing to prove”. That’s going to be picked up by guys that have “average to sub-par” equipment… guys that have HAD to rely on actual skill… and now have the equipment to go with.
Girlfriend is in for a wild ride.
You claiming that guys who’re well hung to begin with don’t have any actual skill at sex?
Daniel here. Seems Screwball misunderstood me slightly. There is research that suggests guys who are naturally larger rely more on their size, but not all. Just like some people who learn quickly don’t have to try as hard in class, many do “rest on their laurels” and don’t improve their skills.
However I’m certain that there are guys out there who are naturally larger AND have actually developed skills. As someone who… (how do PG word this ) enjoys seeing the results of my well used skills, I can respect someone who takes the time to learn such skills..
And you’re right too Nekakami, it is most likely that they are starting with “average to sub-par equipment”, so they may have put more effort into learning skills. Not guaranteed either, but still a chance. If so, wild ride indeed…
I won’t say that all well-hung guys suck at sex, but I will say that all of my worst sexual experiences have been with well-hung guys. Part of that is that there’s simply a point where the traditional methods are doomed to fail, but that’s somewhat true on the other end of the scale as well. The guys whose size is too small to be particularly pleasurable (they do exist) tend to know just how to compensate. The guys whose equipment simply won’t fit tend to think that everything will be fine if they just thrust harder. They are very, very wrong about that.
I’d guess the Octo-Tentacles drink would just turn a Cybertronian into a Quintesson.
A Quintesson?
*Gets processor image*
…..Gimme gimme gimme…
Oooooh, boy. Maxima is gearing up for a surprise.
Actually, she looks much more comfortable in the last couple of panels. Aliens suddenly appearing next to her and shouting maniacally… that’s apparently easier to deal with than Deus…
Yes. THAT is easy to deal with. Also, the fact that the secretary is clearly NOT under Deus’ control … she’s interrupting the negotiations … means that Max has just profited from an own-goal by Team Deus.
Uh, If Deus has got the goods on supers on demand, it might be worth a flat $300,000,000,000.00. From what I gather, he’s asking for Galtyn to become a major supplier of goods to the U.S. Keeping his people working and growing the Galtyn economy.
The US can’t just go ahead and buy from Galytn. At least not if they already have a supplier lined up for the same goods.
A lot of contracts are based on ‘if you buy our not yet flying fighters, we’ll buy your already-tested and working decentralized anti-aircraft missile system. Oh and toss in a thousand of those remote-controlled gun turrets and we’ll let you be a parts supplier for our next air-air missile’…
Maybe not exactly like that, but a lot of contracts have riders with a promise to buy parts or weaponry from a country that invests heavily in certain large projects.
So not only may they have promised that contract to someone else already, but that someone is most likely a NATO ally.
I guess this means the genitals are unveiled…
TBH, my biggest concern there is that if he’s actively producing advanced weapons, nobody will notice if he saves a few for his own use. And he’ll have a good cover story for the warehouse full of missiles.
He is already one of the biggest military contractor: he is asking for more contracts to be pushed in his general direction
Fully a Lex Luther move. Pay me lots and I give you maybe something? and Secretary Smurfette? Not a trace of subtlety or decorum. But she’s spunky!
Would have been funnier if the “Hi, we haven’t met” was also translated from Alar ;)
Maxima probably does not know the language well enough. All her encounters with Scioni were in English, and she did not interact with the refugees on Cora’s ship, as far as we know.
No, that’s what would have mad it betterer: nothing more satisfying than replying to someone insulting you in their own language
AKA “Bilingual backfire” from TVTropes. https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BilingualBackfire
But I can’t see Max giving away an advantage like that for oneupmanship. If I were her, I’d play dumb and let Deus and his secretary talk in a language they think I don’t know.
No better way to eavesdrop than to let them think they are using a code you do not understand.
The first Japanese character on the vending machine is wrong. As-is, it says “Sappa Poppu”. I assume it’s supposed to be “Suppa Poppu”. サ = sa, ス = su.
But the boy wants the “Panty-Kinesis”!
No he doesn’t. That way leads only to the dark side of an angry girl-friend and cold, lonely nights.
…firehose? 0_o
Yeah. Furthermore, the katakana used for super pop could be: スーパー・コーラ. Literally, “super cola”.
“supa” would be the transliteration of the gairaigo[1] for english “super” which make no sense because the Japanese would have either written super or the word in katakana (so either super or スーパー ).
And yes, the gairaigo for super is スーパー not サッパ which actually mean sardinella :)
But well, we got the idea anyway :)
[1] A gairaigo (外来語) is a foreign loan word written in katakana and loosely following the original word pronunciation.
These forums are fun AND educational :D
Yeah I need to fix that.
lol due to the comment order, that looks like a response to “These forums are fun AND educational.” I enjoy imaging that you want that to stop :D
I love Maxima. <3
OK, you talk money, I tend to go look stuff up… This strip is STILL in 2011 right? $30 billion is 5% of the US Defense budget for that year. AND he wants us to borrow it from China! Total US / China international exchange for 2011 was $166 billion; so he’s willing to only take 18% of it on the speculation that he may know something and could be convinced to share MAYBE.
If he spends most of that $300 billion on it and can’t figure out how superpowers work, no one on Earth will for decades. Very magnanimous of him to let us borrow a third of a trillion dollars (interest included) to make him more powerful at no cost to him! If it were a tenth as much, with all his leverage behind it AND Maxima’s support… maybe, just maybe… Except for a single problem: Obama is reducing Defense spending further every year of his administration.
That’s the Obama that does not have supers, was not recently invaded by an alien zombie ship, and does not have an alien ship in a foreign country controlled by a half-charming megalomaniac.
This Obama, we have no idea what he’s doing with the budget.
Paying off the Clinton’s
Trumpet much?
Nope, Shtrump has done plenty stupid things, Clinton Corruption goes all the way back to Little Rock (and didn’t stop until, well, it hasn’t stopped)
One can think Trump is nothing but a lying grifter and still recognize that Clinton is a lying grifter *with much more practice and skill grifting the government*. In that particular context, the newbie who will have to learn how to abuse their position is a *much* better choice than the seasoned pro who will already know how to do it quite well on the first day in office.
Just one of the many reasons choosing Trump over Clinton was the right thing to do, even if you believe all the bad stuff about Trump (and I believe many of them).
Dave mentions it is over the time period of a decade. Even Deus isn’t bold enough to try and do it immediately.
That’s why Wanderer said $30 billion… 10% of $300 billion :)
But yeah… historical numbers don’t really hold up when the strip involves globe-spanning fictional events, like supers and aliens
I don’t think he wants the US to borrow it from China, he just expects that’s where they’d find the funding.
I welcome our new alari overlords.
*overladies
Probably he’s just better at locating marginal supers. The ones who turn gold, or start setting things on fire, they’re obvious. The supers whose powers aren’t flashy, (Think Bruce Willis’ character in “Unbreakable”.) may not even realize that the reason they never have trouble opening jars is that they have super strength.
I imagine the ability to ‘know where stuff is’ would be useful to the military.
Tell every nation in the world the H bombs are *here*, the submarines are *here*,
the tanks, bombers, trucks, persons in general or in particular are *here*
for a reasonable annual percentage of their defense budget.
Also…
Don’t try to interfere with the KNOWWHERE or their live feed will be delayed a few
minutes giving their adversaries an overwhelming military advantage.
(I’m thinking a TechnoMagic computer system instead of living supers,
but it might have some as part of its matrix.)
In the webcomic “Tales of the Questor”, there’s a little girl who has this ability. Spooks out her parents. :)
In Stross’s “Laundry” series, (Techno-supernatural spy thrillers.) the world breaks out in superpowers as the time for the Old Ones to appear approaches. There’s a power law to them, though, and most people with super powers have trivial powers, like the ability to find loose change, or have a taxi handy whenever you need one. People with those sorts of powers generally don’t even notice they have them.
In the Grrlverse the same thing may be going on; For every person who can fly, there are ten with inconspicuous powers like unnaturally good luck, or always winning at rock/paper/scissors. Powers which still might be handy in a military situation, though.
For years now, my answer to the “what superpower would you choose” question has been the “know where stuff is” one. Lost pets, missing people, lost items, things you need, thing you want, buried treasure, cures for cancer…
Is it just me or does anyone sees the Deus’ Alari assistant as an evil, equally over-the-top counterpart to Sydney? Even possibly a future rival?
Oh holy shit you’re right… those two must never meet.
Sydney introduces Lalari to Role Playing Games.
They each admire the others playing style.
Right before turning it into the RPG equivalent of a World War.
How would Lorlara attack The Gazebo?
With style, and a loud voice (do not give her a megaphone!)
None may help her, she must face the Gazebo alone. Probably with fire.
Do all cans come with super-endurance (ant ‘two-way super anti-chafing’)? Because otherwise, 8 hours of ‘hung like a horse’ probably sounds like a better deal than it’ll end up being. Fun while it’s in use, but probably quite cramped once when doing basically everything else.
As silly as this may be, I wouldn’t be surprised if this exact vending machine was on Deus’ to-do list. That’s basically a license to printing money.
Among a whole lot of other temporary superpower distribution methods, of course:
-shapeshifting powers for actors
-shrinking powers for surgeons
-portal-generation for moving companies
Here’s to hoping his solution doesn’t rely on brainwashed little girls recycling the super juice in their altered biology.
Ah, the Drow Pixie. Good :D I wanted for her to make some further appearance.
Gotta love panel 2. Dave knows his economic realities.
サッパー kinda reads like “supper” to me.
I would’ve thought super was スッパー
Dave B the tag advert for that soda in your subtext would simply be—-> “SYNCHRO O!!! w/extra dose of Earthquake!” (at least tremors, shaking afterglow may vary with partner’s other powers. Do not mix with other Temp Super Sodas. Mixing with Rum is Okay. Tequila is right out.).
Uses phase shifting and time powers along with nerve induction nannites to maximize the potential “O” along with microcapacitors that capture the feeling of specific nerves and redirect it to other errogenous zones until both participants are at maximum potential and then, WOAH NELLY! The capacitor nannites dump their charge into the nerves and nature takes over…excess capacitance may cause a body quake and secondary explosions of the pleasant kind depending on how much you stored. Simultaneous satisfaction, now in Caribbean Passion Fruit Blend or Krakatoa Chocolate Mayhem for the daring!
I think the vending machine is the perfect choice. It’s exactly what business would sell to the average person. You’d have another of sports tricks, and another of strength ones, each in places where the general audiance might want them.
I WANT the german version, btw. … and I think the ladies one would have the super lube and elastia stretch to handle the second wind and hunglo drinks… but that’s a small discrete machine in the ladies room.
If vending machines like that come into being I have a feeling Dabbler will be behind them.
Would she be able to fit? :thinking:
Hiding behind one of these vending machines seems like a good place to harvest tantric energy for Dabbler.
I don’t think Maxima understood a word of what the secretary said. Even if Max didn’t understand the details of the message, her body language was pretty menacing and Max at least knows she was trying to be threatening, so she went with the disarmingly friendly approach because the secretary would have been expecting either obsequiousness or a strong defensive response and it would throw her off her guard.
When you are the most powerful being on the planet, more or less, and someone small attempts to be physically threatening, suppressed laughter is the natural response.
Drow-girl is cute and peppy, and she just totally messed up Deus’ planned assault, so Max has every reason to genuinely LIKE her.
I wonder when Deus is going to make tailored offers to the Russian and Chinese power blocs. He’s not an ‘all your eggs in one basket’ kinda guy, and having other offers on the table usually helps get them to agree to your terms quicker.
The Russian and Chinese power blocs are both unreliable, and the latter a incipient mega-PR disaster to boot. Putin is effectively a grown-up Indinge: he’d never let Deus get on with things without constantly trying to skim as much off the top as Putin could, and abdicating *him* would be awkward. Hu Jintao was a bit less scummy – well, for a Communist – but under him the PRC would be directly competing with Deus himself for influence in the developing world. I’m assuming that Deus has a very busy staff of counter-espionage operatives keeping PRC hackers and whatnot at bay.
China hasn’t been communist for at least twenty years.
Actually none of them were ever “communist”. The bolsheviks stole the term from Marx and Engels, and everyone else took it up. (Notably, Marx later confessed “If I had known what they were about, I would have refused.”)
“Socialist” maybe these scummy dictatorships tried to be, but that never lasted anywhere.
I will admit that Mao Zedong founded a marginally better regime than the ROC, however we may directly compare that to Castro’s Cuba — it wasn’t as good as it was claimed.
The term “Communist” was taken from the Communards in France, who actually practised socialist policies for a short time after the defeat of France in the Franco-Prussian War.
“Communist” countries are never communist. That’s because it’s impossible, communism doesn’t scale beyond the size of a family, or perhaps a small commune. (And the communes usually fall apart when the original founders age out.)
Mostly “communism” is a scam perpetrated by people who wanted an excuse to create the dictatorship, and find all the useful idiots who like the idea… useful.
Thank you (And Pendrake) for pointing this stuff out. There is an actively pushed conspiracy theory in the United States, and millions of U.S. taxpayer dollars have been spent attempting to legitimize it… and it’s all based on a mindset from the 1980s. The Cold War is over, the USSR is gone, and Putin is a two-bit dictator ruling over the wreckage of what used to be the empire he served. He’s an overcompensating, insecure douchebag who spends most of his time trying to convince everyone that he’s a super manly heterosexual macho man.
China hasn’t been communist since the 90s; if anything that’s why they’ve been a threat. They’ve been producing so many goods sold by corporations… produced with cheap (read: slave) labor and while pirating as many technological breakthroughs that they can obtain from other nations as possible. Right now we’re dealing with a multitude of problems around the world… and they’re problems precisely because China is anything but communist these days…
Meh, China is a similar amount of “communist” as every other attempt at communism has been. Communism, in actual practice, is just “dictatorship with a nice paint job that certain academics spend a lot of time waxing and polishing”. By that definition, China is definitely still communist.
(China was less communist for a period of time, though… for a while, they tried “oligarchy with a nice paint job etc”)
Lor just saved her boss’s smug arse from having that document forcibly inserted (with no lube)
Did nobody else get the Ozymandias reference?
I’m a bit confused on the timeline. Back in strip #4 Sydney is describing where she is currently and says “Let me back up a few months.” The entire strip since then has been a flashback. Although there’s not a hard number definition of “few” I’ve always viewed it as about 3-4, so no more than 4 months have passed (to my way of thinking) since the flashback started. Deus took over Galytn within this time frame, and he already has manufacturing facilities built and operating? That’s a pretty good trick, barring the use of any magic.
Perhaps Dave can give us an idea of how much time he thinks has passed in the flashback?
Ask Musk how quick he can get a factory up an running
Um, no.
Deus taking over Galytn was shown as a flashback. I’m pretty sure that was 20 years ago. Indinge wouldn’t have allowed Deus to spend all of that money on infrastructure without diverting 90% of it to his own benefit… which was a major portion of why he was abdicated.
How much time has passed depends who (in the comic) you ask.
I’m not sure if Dave has weighed in on this or not. But from what i can tell of day breaks(where it’s obvious that one ends and a new day begins) and one “several days later” I’d say these are my guesses for how much time has passed since Sydney signed up with Archon(on the first day).
If you ask anyone but Sydney. 2-3 months
if you ask Sydney: less than a month.
Don’t forget Sydney “skipped” over 50 days (53-how long it was from her perspective. She was on the alari homeworld for several hours, then probably wondered around fracture a few more before she met Cora, and spent the better part of a day on her ship(fun times with Frix, sleep, toilet violation, food etc…)
And yes, the Galtyn takeover was years before the comic started.
OK, without delving back through hundreds of pages trying to locate the exact pages that dealt with that, I’ll take your word for it. (Deus’s takeover of Galytn that is.) I guess it wasn’t clear to me when I originally read it, or didn’t stick in my mind. I pretty much agree with the passage of time.
It was implied in the background of Deus’s first (on-screen) Macroeconomics interview that it’s been well over a decade, if the freeze-frames in Panel 4 of that page are scenes from a single life. It could even be argued that it’s a full generation, if ‘Angel‘ at Mac’s Daycare is the baby in the last of those freeze-frames.
Whether Max understands Alari or not, the secretary is definitely NOT helping. If she doesn’t understand, then just looming there like that is inviting Max to make a power move, which is…not the stage of the evening Deus wants to be in. If she does, well, even if Max was considering grudgingly agreeing to look into it, phrasing it as “Submission to her master” and making Max Deus’s “slave” is a surefire way to ensure that Max will refuse outright.
That assistant screwed the deal so hard it would make Dabbler blush.
cute vender gal design there.
though. Horse is not very fun I imagine of course.
just painful I imagine
Past the point of diminishing returns?
There’s two peaks in that length/pleasure chart.
(For the guy anyway.)
“THUMP”? What’s going thump? Izzat a breasticle thump? Inquiring mind want to know.
Lor decided to… drop in, after hovering up in the rafters
Someone’s in for a paddling.
I think the assistant may have majorly screwed Deus’ careful approach.
Panel 2… This comic is now banned in China. Or if it’s not, it will be. Not that I care. Seeing Winnie dumping a bag of yuan made my day.
They might not be happy about the bear, and that might cause censorship.
However, they would like the theme, that China is lending the USA money, to give to Galytn. It represents reality, that China is funding a chunk of the USA’s multi-TRILLION debt. That might get them over the use of Disney the Pooh*.
Funny how they have spare money. Maybe it’s because they spend only one-third the amount that the US blows on “defense” every year. Indeed, China only spends that much, because it has to respond to the incredible US spending.
*This is not the original Winnie the Pooh of the AA Milne books – which young kids loved for nearly a century. Read them to your children. Wonderfully nutty books.
And then suddenly out of nowhere: Boobs! I love this comic sometimes.
When the subject was Super Powers and saw the vending machine, I immediately thought GLEIPNIR (current anime in Japan) that gives you permanent changes. So I missed the 8 hours verbage and thought Deus was “making” supers after that trip offworld.
Still an 8 hour drink is a better capitalist solution , and with a military line of drinks would be even more impressive. BEZERK energy drinks , 8 hours of run& gun in a can.
Who needs a gun when you can run as fast as a bullet while swinging a massive inert and durable object?
It’s just a guy swinging a log. What can he do?
He’s throwing it commander!!!
No worry, we are in tank.
“Klong” See we safe.
He just bent the barrel!!!!
Oh, dat not so good but we still safe.
“Klong Klong Klong Klong”
As an old fan of yours… I can imagine why that vending machine turned out the way it did.
Yeah …. Fun Memories
*cough*
Last panel , Maxima’s smile of “Well now the conversation is moving towards something I can react how I want to…” does not bode well for Deus
Imagine if Deus got his hands on an ancient Gaulish magic potion….!?
It would be fun to see Obelix kick his ass.
Definitely got the ‘I am going to beat the smug off your face’ vibe from Panel 6. He -does- have the other half of her geode-or-whatever, so he may very well have figured it out. Perhaps with help from the Alari refugees.
Or maybe he’s just recruiting them and pretending. Boy’s got all kinds of devious angles.