Grrl Power #808 – Thirty aught winterfresh
I don’t know what to tell you guys, I thought of a dumb joke and went with it.
To be fair to Elsbeth, this isn’t the first time she’s pulled the wrong thing out of her book. Luckily she’s never looked up “plutoniub” or “bubonic plaque.”
I haven’t actually figure out all the rules of Ellie’s book. She calls it cursed, but that’s mostly because it’s locked around her waist and no one can get it off. That’s one of those curses that’s half useful and half annoying. Obviously the book is a powerful magic item, so you don’t want someone bad wandering off with it, but it’s also really uncomfortable to sleep with a bulky chain locked around your waist. Ellie’s solution thus far is to sleep in a corset that goes between her skin and the chain. Not a laced up compressing one, just something fairly rigid to distribute the pressure points where the chain would normally jab her.
As far as what all she can extract from the book, it’s one of those things where the book would normally extract a price in life force whenever it’s used, but she figured out that if she feeds objects into the book before hand, it just acts like an alphabetized book of holding. So really, she’s limited to whatever she can supply it with in the first place. As a Semper Vigilatis, she does have access to a pretty good library of gear. She can just requisition a half dozen flashbangs, a Glock 19 with 6 mags of hollow point, 6 AP, and 2 silver because they’re more expensive. We’ve already seen that she keeps a SCAR with one of those double drum clips on it.
I’m sure at some point the Vigilanti’s QM was running the numbers and realized Ellie had like $400K of ordnance in that book and made her give back half of it.
Hey guys, I wrote a book! It has nothing to do with Grrl Power. It’s actually Tamer fanfiction, and it’s free! I mean, obviously it’s free. Tamer isn’t my IP so I’m not going to try and sell a derivative work. Anyway, you can check it out here.
Double res version will be posted over at Patreon. Feel free to contribute as much as you like!
SuperheroThey're super, thanks for asking!
Meatspace ComicSeriously these are awesome. Check 'em out!
Not UpdatingNo longer updating or only updates sporadically, but definitely worth reading.
SeriouslySeriously you guys. If you like Grrl Power the check these out.
"Mature"Mature subject matter and occasionally something explicit but usually safe. Can't guarantee the ads are safe though.
Dongs Ahoy!Full frontal and backal. Lots of skin, sex on some or all pages, explicit or otherwise.
Can anyone make out what that line in the book is? The one about ‘…red against God and Moses’?
Wait, no, screw that line, what about the description for the ‘GUM’ entry: end of the second line, “homo lib”
Dave used a dictionary of really old English.
https://books.google.com/books?id=oXlii1KgDngC&pg=PA151&lpg=PA151&dq=%22dut+korren%22+%22against+god+and+moses%22&source=bl&ots=4p-fNO_L_n&sig=ACfU3U2zBD5NLQKIUijLIrMVEtUtZ2Uzpw&hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwj9yJq_25rnAhWCaM0KHYtMCWsQ6AEwAHoECAQQAQ#v=onepage&q=%22dut%20korren%22%20%22against%20god%20and%20moses%22&f=false
Thank you
prolly something like, the people murmured against God and Moses, they did that a lot in Exodus
Better than pulling out the ‘bang’ gun.
“It looks like you are trying to summon a gumbo. There are currently 0 in stock. Would you like the Emergency Holographic Wizard to summon pawns and rice?”
are the pawns made out of like hard candy or something? i assume you mean chess pawns
As an alternative to gumbo, I would think prawns and rice, since gumbo often (if not always) contains shellfish, and is served over rice.
That said, the mystical equivalent of the MS Paperclip would probably give you a mix of pawns from various chess sets sprinkled over a bag of uncooked rice.
The unrealistic part of this is that Clippy a) bothers to check the stock level and b) makes a reasonable suggestion for a close alternative.
‘Cause this is the magical Clippy!
Everyone loves Magical Clippy
Cuz the tricks that he does are ever so dippy
Look at him there with his leathery leathery whip…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CYHO7FRsQAA
Hah hah.
The awesomeness that is The Fifth Element just keeps being relevant.
Word.
I had a character back in the day who carried a book that copied any magic cast in its vicinity to a page, basically turning it into a scroll. He could only cast it once and then it vanished. But the upside was that it could copy *any* kind of magic, not just spells, and it obviated the need for any components, special abilities, rituals, etc- so he was encouraged to seek out powerful and dangerous magical entities and then get them to use their magic so he could copy it. Not exactly a safe occupation, but a good excuse for adventuring!
Could it only copy the magic once?
You said it could only be used once, butt, could it have more than one version of the same spell (if cast at different times)?
In my version of that book, yeah.
And my players feed a sneezing potion to a black dragon.
So… Only one scroll per spell, thanx. At least until you use it. Leason learned after:
DM – You se before you, Dulahan. The headless warrior with the True Ice Blade that cursed him
Book Wielder – Im gona “Dragon sneeze” at him until it moves no more.
DM – K. I need to reestructure my campain.
I threw a chaos orb thing at an ice dragon my first campaign. That thing was ridiculous. Oneshotted the dragon, another time I used it to befriend a werebear, i combined it with (I think) and elemental spell and *crushed* an entire hillside and the castle that stood on it, along with the horde inside with a tidal wave. Unfortunately the group broke up so that particular campaign ended there, sadly
Interesting, so he was a variant of a Blue Mage.
Not the worst occupation for someone with magic abilities* though.
* link to Ch. 1 of 3 of a fun short story by Brandon Sanderson, the other chapters also available on the site if you search the title, “I Hate Dragons”
Aranea: enhanced speed and strength, apparent extra senses and defense against stun grenades, and enough limbs to counter multiple opponents at once.
Do I see a worthy opponent for Harem?
She was the one who threw the flasher-banger, and then Specs for added insult
That does answer the question as to whether Aranea would hit a girl with Specs. (Ba-dum-tiss)
For defense against her own stun grenade I was just assuming that her mask had the appropriate filters incorporated into it.
Probably only mechanical defense against flash-bangs: you don’t need much, just good darkened safety specs and either ear-muffs or in-ear plugs. Ear plugs not so good IMHO, but you can just plug-and-play as it were, no need to worry about losing them. And, let’s face it, who do you need to listen to? Certainly not the Dark Side!
And she also threw werePixel, just for kicks ;)
No, she didn’t throw Pixelicious, she simply triple-kidney punched her, and then she broke her spine one Mr Buble
Nuh.
(1) WerePixel must mass oh, let’s guess 100Kg to give this a chance.
(2) What fist area can Areana muster? Let’s go with 11x7cm, ‘cos we need to get lifting power here, not piercing power. So a total of 231 square centimeters, applied in 3 separate power bursts, about 0.1 second apart, but we can say “pretty close to all at once”.
(3) What power can Areana develop with each arm in a horizontal vector at 2.0m/sec? We’ll guess that Areana masses roughly the same as WerePixel, so using KE = 0.5 × m × v^2 we get 3 (50 x (2)^2) = 600J. That’s somewhat less than 1J/cm^2.
I don’t have the tools to determine if WerePixel’s ribcage will stay intact long enough to get her airborne for a cartwheel, or if it will shatter her right lung. It’s also questionable whether 600 Joules is sufficient to even knock her down. Hurt her, yes definitely. Move her sideways across Sydney’s Bubble with her feet in the air? Fair suck o’ the sauce bottle Guesticus, I’m pretty sure it’s not on.
Yeah, in real life no one’s strong enough to deliver a sufficient blow, or to survive beingPunched Across the Room by a super, but Rule of Cool covereth a multitude of sins.
The simple rule (and trust me when it comes to ‘simple’): if we don’t see it, or have it referred to, then it didn’t happen
In this case, we didn’t see Pixelicious thrown, just kidney-punched and then fell
Which is more likely: Aranea able to dead-lift and throw Pixelicious? or stun her with a triple kidney-punch which causes Pixelicious to stagger and trip over Mr Buble? o_O
OK, I just re-checked #806 and this time saw a bit of Mr Bubble on the LH of panel 5.
Yes, WerePixel could definitely stagger to, and then trip over it, literally going ass-over to get her feet in the air.
Where did you get that assertion? “
Which one? o_O
People calling me out on something, and not saying what, is getting confusing
No, she didn’t throw Pixelicious, she simply triple-kidney punched her, and then she broke her SPINE one, blame the slowness of reply’s.
Did you see how far her back got bent over Mr Buble?
I take it you have never had a cat.
Because I saw how far Pixel’s back was bent and my thought was merely “yup. Cat.”
Not “broken spine.”
You really even contemplated that DaveB would Bane one of his characters like that? Cereally? o_O
And Pixelicious’ scream was actually a laugh because it tickled :vomitwhilerollingeyes:
She’s quite possibly too quick for Harem. She had difficulty dodging attacks from Mach the Knife (speedster involved in the Battle of The Parking Lot) and got a Maximum Wedgie from Maxima before she could port away (well, the first Harem panic-ported, but the next closest one didn’t escape).
Aranea might be a better opponent for Dabbler. They’re both multi-limb, and bag-of-tricks vs. jill-of-all-trades makes an interesting mix. Plus, Dabbler was quick enough to throw up a sturdy shield after provoking Max into taking a swing at her (via double-handed butt-grope) during Sydney’s initial Archon interview. Max wasn’t probably at full speed, but even regular Max speed implies that Dabbler has superhuman reaction speed.
Note: She does get gavorplazorum (sp?) punched after her spell to heat up Sydney also ‘heats up’ Sydney (winkwinknudgenudge), but failing to see Sydney as a threat probably meant she got caught flat-footed (flat-hooved?)
This makes me think of that scene in “Wreck-It Ralph”, where Ralph hit the creepy guy with spectacles with his own spectacles, except, in this case, she hit Beth with Specs :D
Shoulda gone to Specs-savers :P
A few years later, Sydney is floating up in the sky, working on her laptop, which is sitting on her folded legs. The flight orb is taped to her left hand and she is manipulating the computer with her right. Max flies up to her.
Max: Sydney, what are you doing up here, other than being a navigational hazard for light air traffic?
Sydney: Well, I heard that the next big thing was computing in the clouds, but this is harder, not easier and my Internet connection keeps dropping out.
Max: That’s not what that means! And quit with the big, dopey smile. You were just trying to goad me, weren’t you?
Sydney: Yup. See you on the ground. [ FTP transfer to roof of the Archon building ]
Nah, that was Holo-Halo (unless that was what you meant by ‘FTP’)
Oops, FTP was meant to be FTL, Faster Than Light. I figure by then, Sydney has unlocked an FTL mode and figured out how to use in an atmosphere.
“It says ‘Put $50,000 in this bag and act natural. I am pointing a gun at you.'”
“This doesn’t look like ‘gun.’ This looks like ‘gub.'”
At least the view is nice.
The ‘Decamint’ box has 5 packs of Doublemint gum inside. :)
or:
a) 2 packs of ‘5’ gum
b) 2 packs of Trident and 2 packs of Doublemint
c) 3 packs of Trident and one ‘Extra’
Doublemint is supposed to be spearmint and peppermint flavored.
I was hoping Decamint would have spearmint, peppermint, catmint, watermint, orange mint, grapefruit mint, ginger mint, apple mint, calamint, and red rarpila mint flavors.
Not going to lie: I would buy a case of that if it actually existed.
It’s decadent mint. Not 10 different mints. Also real product, but obvs Dave B didn’t show the real packaging.
Doublemint had twin models in all their ads and double everything in the jingle, so clearly triplemint would be 3 flavors, quintamint 5, and decadent 10.
Thought that that was a brand name, because the flavour (why did fingers type ‘flavious’?) is definitely STARMINT
I’d never thought of someone already known for creating something like this writing fanfic. Hmm. I’ve been writing fanfic for a while; I recently had a shout-out to Grrl Power in one of my stories (Suzie Wen had a cameo), but hadn’t talked about it here.
A higher caliber than Spearmint?
…
Oh, you wanted Peppermint!
Go straight for Fisherman’s Friend. And that is more socially conscious than icky gum!
Going to ‘gun’ against this woman might not be such a good idea. Thus far, everything she has done has been to incapacitate not kill.
You start pointing a firearm at her and it actually has a chance to injure or even kill her, she might stop pulling her punches.
Yup. And it is poor policing to escalate a situation to a more dangerous level. Rather they should be working to resolve the situation with the minimum violence necessary!
Except at this point she has injected one of them with an unknown solution (we know since this is a flash back it wasn’t fatal, but at the time they did not). That being said any police force would be authorized to use higher force.
Higher force, not deadly terminal “get the body bag, Frank” force
And they are required to call it in first before going there, to get authorisation
They’ve already pointed a laser clawed Pixel at her. How is a handgun an escalation from that?
Difficult to miss with a laser-claw and hit some kid three blocks over playing in their front yard
Naw, big cats don’t miss, and even if they do it’s only for a second. Forget guns, go buy yourself a tiger.
Also if they’ve been drinking at that club it may not be a good idea to use lethal weapons in a residential area.
And that was before they got bang-flashed
What brand of toothpaste is recommended to deal with “bubonic plaque”?
China White?
So I’m assuming that plutoniub is a typo…. I tried looking it up, like it was something new and mysterious, but no, three quarters of the google page refer back to this web page.
Congratulations on discovering a new word! Lol
“drum clip”
Heresy.
Also, pretty impressive. Kind of a Super Plot Device, and asspull, but eh.
I’ve liked Specs since her first appearance, and on this re-read, the first panel makes me like her more. :D