Grrl Power #754 – And your race smells of elderberries
Cora is definitely not a diplomat. There are better ways of telling a world that no one is coming for them because their toys all suck, but I guess she’s just getting straight to the point.
I’ve talked about some of the stuff they’re touching on in this press conference in my comments for the comics where Sydney was visiting fracture station, but I thought I should formally introduce this stuff to the in-comic world. I mean, the actual discovery of life besides ours. And not just a fossil of bacteria on Mars or living plankton on Titan or something. Actual civilizations with technology beyond ours. It would change the world utterly. It would be the only thing on the news and late night talk shows and morning news programs for months and months. Some religions would just implode, some would be like “oh yeah, God made them too.” I can’t even imagine how hard the Fox fear mongering machine would ramp up. I tell you what, though, I’d buy stock in any publicly traded company that sold guns, that’s for sure. There would be people so afraid of what they think is about to happen (i.e. the plot of every alien invasion movie ever) violence and suicide rates would go up measurably.
For everyone who didn’t lose their minds though, seeing a hot blue, essentially human looking woman saying “No worries, mate,” I think would allay a lot of fears. Obviously some people will think Cora’s lying so we don’t prepare for invasion, but there’s nothing you can do about people like that. Other people might be thinking “So do you have a sister?” In any case, it would be an interesting time to live.
Actually, this event would be so historic I doubt it’d be at the foot of the Archon building. You can’t tell on this page, but that’s where they are. Really, it’d pretty much have to be at the White House, or better yet, in front of or inside the UN building. But this is technically an informal press conference and as it’s been said, Cora’s not a diplomat. She’s probably not even going to meet and greet with anyone politically important while she’s on Earth.
When I looked up references for the LMG sitting there on the table (that one is an M240 I think) I was disappointed to see that most LMGs are just ugly. I guess I was hoping for something slick looking, like a buff-ass Styer AUG, or an IWI Tavor x95. But no, the ones the US used all look like something the A-Team built out of scrap parts found in a barn. They’re probably made like that because you have to strip them down further to really clean them considering how much more ammo they can run through than an assault rifle, but still.
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The only reason to invade Earth is to steal our chocolate!
Which disgusts the Vorgorns as due to how their digestive system works their fecal matter has a high sugar content and certain chemicals that cause the smell (but only the smell) to resemble that of chocolate. Which they evolved to be disgusted by. So the brown mass *which theirs is brown too* regardless of shape due to color, texture, and smell comes across to them looking like you are eating crap. They are usually quick to become sick at the sight.
+3 for “Hitch-Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” reference.
-1 for misspelling ^Vogons^!!
I thought Carmela Rodriguez was running an export shop at The Crossings on Rirhath B though?
Hm… I think the things aliens might invade over would be stuff you could only get on a habitable planet: Arable land, for example, if they’re advanced enough for space travel but not for practical terraforming. Or Oil, since it’s made out of organic matter, although the usefulness of oil to advanced aliens is debatable, it’s something they could not get from asteroids or comets. Of course, even if they want those things, aliens might just trade for them.
Well, the only rational reasons to invade. Obviously there are also irrational ones, like a religion that says “kill all aliens” or something.
hmmm… if aliens actually consider our land arable depends wholy on what their metabolism is based on… a slight variance in the makeup of their origin planets ecosphere could mean stuff grown on earth isnt really edible (or at least nutrious) for them and thus of no interest. (not even going to aliens that might not be carbon based… they might have an even tougher time with stuff grown on earth ;) )
* takes a moment to soak in the mind-blowing scale of a civilization that has “Better Homes and Planets – Practical Terraforming Edition” laying on their coffee table… *
Yes!
*frantically starts digging a deep hole to bury all the chocolate*
Don’t eat any of it, Yorpie.
Don’t worry, I have already checked.
None of it is Vorgorn poo!
Always with the Chocolate. I think I have only ever read 1 book where it wasn’t chocolate. Instead it was Maple Syrup and it was apparently a very addictive drink for the aliens :P
There was one where it was popsicles.
What flavour?
Heh. This reminds me of some _Teenagers From Outer Space_ fanfic I wrote, where it turns out Earth already has a trade surplus with aliens because we’re the only known source of Chuck Berry.
TFOS! Yes! =D
Peggy didn’t go very light with the LMG, I can respect that. The FN MAG is a good full caliber LMG, if a bit on the heavy side.
No one will ever accuse me of knowing ANYTHING about firearms (beyond the laws regarding them, and how they work in a very generalized sense). But I still find it really unlikely that you can cut a car in half with a light machine gun. With a heavy machine gun like a Type 92 or M1917 Browning or a Zastava M02, okay.
Again, I’ve never fired an LMG, don’t know what the capabilities of it are, and all my knowledge about how powerful it would be against a car being cut in half come from Mythbusters or other TV shows.
yeah, it could be done, but it would take a LOT of replacement mags, and you might get to the point where the flattened rounds embedded in the car were absorbing the impact of the newly arriving rounds, assuming you don’t stop to pluck out the spent ammo from time to time. It also would depend if they were firing regular lead or armor piercing rounds.
Functionally the M1917 and the M240 that Sydney is about to feed are nearly the same gun [belt fed .30 caliber bullet slingers]. The 7.62×51 cartridge and 1917 .30-06 are nearly identical. What you might be thinking of is the slightly younger Browning M2 in .50 BMG. “Heavy Machinegun” in WW2 was more indicitive of weight than anything else as seen with the 1917 [.30 caliber] and the Type 92 [7.7mm]. Modern “heavy machineguns” are larger bore [like the M2 and the M02
As for cutting a car in half, yah, it would take a while though [half inch holes at a little over 10 per second]. To do that effectively, a minigun and lots of ammo would be more the tool you’d want [.3 inch holes, but 100 of them per second]
Mentioned Pogs to someone a while back… (online, not face to face) They had no idea what a pog was and though I was talking about an item in the game.
That is what Google tells me they are:
Pog
noun
a cardboard or plastic disc printed with a design or picture, collected or swapped by children or used in games.
a children’s game in which players strike a pile of Pogs with an implement, winning any that land face upwards when they fall.
The only time I’ve ever heard of ‘pogs’ was in a Simpsons episode where Milhouse sold Bart’s soul for Alf pogs.
“Pogs” were a brand name for something kids used to do with milk bottle tops…
The “Pogs” I know were a species in Buck Godot – Zap Gun for Hire
To paraphrase U.S. Manga Corps & Central Park Media…
“Galactic Peace Through Shared Popular Culture!”
LMG’s look the way they do because they get hot – so hot they can cause the barrel to warp. Heat is the #1 enemy of any belt-fed weapon, and putting ‘sexy’ plastic covers on them only makes it worse.
Unless those sexy plastic covers are designed to protect the user from touching the cryogenic cooling attachment.
which adds to weight and lack of portability. The man portable stuff needs to be designed that way for barrel swapping. Thats one of the reasons they got away from water cooling for anything except weapon emplacements.
By using ‘cryogenic’ I was implying something more future-tech. At some point we will develop a compact light-weight cooling system. If machine guns are still a useful weapon at that point (which is likely, as firearms have been withstanding the test of time well, albeit being steadily upgraded to do so), then we will doubtless see them used where water coolant was inefficient.
And they may well have the side effect of looking smexy.
yah, the open design makes barrel swapping easier too.
Yeah, if you can find a way to keep them from getting overheated, you can eliminate the need to swap out the barrel at all…
So you were looking for something like http://adragon202.no-ip.org/Shadowrun/images/f/f1/SR5_Weapon_FN_Mag-5.png but I’m guessing the best you could find was https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/ae/PEO_M249_Para_ACOG.jpg ?
But if you ever need a cool alien style LMG, try this one I found on DeviantArt: https://tinyurl.com/y2a2boua
(hopefully not double posting but it didn’t show up the first time I tried, and I can’t seem to edit my last post to include this)
Looks more like either a shotgun (if here) or energy weapon (for ET).
Looks very much like the Institute weaponry from Fallout 4.
“THE ALIENS! THEY’RE AFTER OUR OCEANS!”
“THEY’RE GOING TO STEAL OUR WATER?”
“What? No. Most of them have been on an intergalactic cruise ship forever, and they want to hit the beach. They’re crowding out all the locals. That and the rest of our entertainment, just like Cora said. They just accessed our ticket databases, it’ll be three years before the next human will be able to get an open seat to watch CATS on broadway.”
This was actually covered in a fairly early comic. Sydney said something like “They’re always after our water!” referring to aliens, and Dabbler said something like “Except mining space ice is a lot cheaper and easier, and you don’t have to bother with an armed population.” Which logic deflated Sydney a bit.
A space mining operation is not such a good place to set up a tourist beach though, especially on asteroids/comets (the context that Dabbler mentioned it in). The lack of liquid water means there would not be a lot of swimming, without some serious engineering. Plus the need for sunblock 50,000 would make everyone look like a walking pile of cream. Then there is the whole ‘your species better not need air, unless you bring your own’ deal breaker.
Plus do you know how much regolith chaffs? Ouchies! You would need to seriously process your asteroid/comet to create nice smooth sand, like we have. If it even has rocky material, of some sort, to start with. Which is less likely on an operation designed to obtain water.
Space beaches are easy. Take a decent-sized metallic asteroid (nickel-iron ones are fairly common). Dig a hole into the center. Fill the bottom of the whole with a large mass of water, which freezes into ice. Backfill with the mining slag. Fire laser/phasers/whatevers to heat the asteroid to near-melting. Ice at the center becomes steam and expands. Semi-molten asteroid expands into roughly spherical shape. Allow to cool. Cut and place airlock. Fill asteroid with breathable atmosphere, carve areas for water to accumulate. Optionally import pulverized silicates (sand) or pumice (“black sand”) for beaches. Spin up asteroid to create centrifugal “gravity” on inside. Install fiber-optic channels to pipe in sunlight, or simulate with carefully shielded tokamak reactor. Presto! Resort Asteroid!
Not taking full credit: the idea is partially derived from the maternity asteroid the Belt colonists in Larry Niven’s Known Space stories used. They discovered that pregnancies went much better when the mothers could experience at least some gravity during gestation than if they stayed aboard their ships.
Yup. But that is not starting with an ice asteroid. And in fact it requires importing water (and sand).
So they are after our water! AND our beaches!!!
Or they could tow an ice asteroid to a metallic one. But even Saudi Arabia had to import sand for its beaches, despite all its desert sand. Nice sand for lying on comfortably is a precious commodity!
Depends on what the ultimate goal is
Confinement asteroid. I think the maternity thing was Niven’s idea, but he got the asteroid forming idea from his mate Jerry Pournelle’s book A Step Farther Out. I don’t know if it was original with Jerry, the book is in storage at the moment. His idea was to use it to build really big O’Neill colonies with really thick walls to stop cosmic radiation.
I love the works of Niven (well, his later stuff I’m not anywhere near as much a fan of as his earlier stuff), but he has the same overly optimistic take on how easy things would be as does Issac Arthur.
I’d bet more money than anyone should that turning an asteroid into a space habitat isn’t quite as simple as blowing up a molten nickle-iron balloon. Here’s your more likely scenario:
You heat up your nickle-iron asteroid that you’ve hollowed out and filled with space ice. You heat it up really fast using lasers so that the metals become molten before the water flashes into steam. The water turns to steam and seeks the path of least resistance out of your nature made object which doesn’t have perfectly spherical properties, blowing one or more holes in your semi-molten asteroid and turning it into a rocket using steam as it’s propulsion. Hopefully it doesn’t choose to head in the direction of any of the surrounding ships/lasers, because mass hurts when it hits regardless of gravity.
to coin the movie martians go home … “an invasion we could handle, but its worse than that these are TOURISTS!!!”
But if you ever need a cool alien style lmg, I found this on deviantart. :D
https://tinyurl.com/y2a2boua
I think I’ve played the game that had that in it but I can’t remember what it was.
looks like something from District 9.
I think he was going for something a little more functional and real world…
Now, Sydney firing the PAW-20 from District 9…that would be kind of fun..though unsafe…yah, don’t do that in real life kids…not nice to give someone too much gun…
I wonder what the bad news is…
easy most of earth to the aliens is what the first world nations thinks of third world nations and expect a lot of galactic version of international companies…
Its illegal to give us spacefaring technology
But not, apparently, for Deus to buy some and import it via personal portal to avoid customs.
Deus’ evil plan: Send a ship out 56 light years and tune into the BBC. Record all of the lost Doctor Who episodes from the original broadcasts, as well as every other TV series that was never popular enough to be archived. Heck, get it all (though you would need about 12 ships all in different directions to pick up broadcasts from all over the world.)
No.
That was illegal, but he hasn’t been caught.
Not quite as genius as one might think. Remember, radio broadcasts get weaker the further they travel from the source. Think of it more as a constantly expanding and diluting sphere rather than a laser shooting into space – you’d need some seriously crazy alien ultratech to be able to grab any broadcast from the seventies, as otherwise it would have simply faded into the cosmic background noise.
Sadly, those old episodes are dead for good. Just like Firefly. q.q
Since alien sex tourists have been on earth for mellinia, no such exotic means would be necessary for them to have recorded early broadcasts anyway.
Not really. It’s called “extremely long baseline interferometry”… and you just have to have multiple ships intercepting the same radio wave in different directions… or the same ship intercepting it at different distances and directions.
I don’t think we can take Cora’s word that we have nothing worth invading for:
– Supers. As far as we know, supers only exist on earth. Control of supers may be worth an invasion. Maybe a Predator situation where alien trophy hunters come to bag a super.
– Sydney’s tech. A mere glimpse of it sent a force big enough to invade a planet into a tizzy, where they tried to capture or kill her using nuclear weapons. Cora even warned about it in the Forge.
– criminal behavior by overachieving shysters like Deus acquiring illegal banned tech could get us invaded or bombed from orbit.
We already know there are civilizations in the galaxy who will invade planets, we just don’t know why yet. Who’s to say people on earth won’t cross whatever line that is? Do you trust us not to screw it up?
Sure, no one will be vacuuming up our atmosphere but there’s plenty of other reasons to invade.
Not illegal, but restricted. Stuff that can’t be sold to pre-ftl civilizations.
But considering Deus made the wormhole gate (a method of ftl) is it really illegal for him to get such restricted items?
Using stolen tech that may or may not even be from Dirt (his ‘power source’ was that cosmic can-opener Sci used to get home)
Technically speaking, Deus did not steal the tech that Sciona used to get home. He salvaged it. Sciona was the one that stole it. :)
And it probably IS from Earth, considering that the Council is mostly earth-based beings, and the aliens in the Council wouldn’t be bringing alien tech to Earth in the first place :).
Didn’t say that he stole it personally, he is still guilty of being in possession of a known stolen item, you, as a lawyer, should know that holding stolen property is just as big of a crime as being the one stealing it in the first place
So, you are saying, that someone from Dirt, managed to build a Cosmic Can-opener out of everyday items lying around their house? o_O
I have a hunch that the brane ripper was Sciona’s to begin with and was stolen BY the Council when they nearly decapitated her, so she’d be completely within her rights to reclaim it. And Deus, the hero that we all know him to be, realizes this, so he was salvaging an item which was ‘stolen from people who stole it from Sciona’ this making it a reclamation rather than a theft, and therefore there was no crime committed. :)
That would also explain how the Brane Ripper was on Earth. Because if it belonged to Sciona in the first place, no one from Earth made it. :)
And Deus remains the muscular, Xanatos-esque hero we all know him to be. All praise Deus.
PS –
Also just to be clear, although this isnt actually relevant in this particular scenario because of the whole salvage twist, holding stolen property is NOT always a crime. It’s a crime if the property was stolen AND the person who possesses knew it was stolen (although in some jurisdictions, there just needs to obviousness that a reasonable person would have thought it was stolen).
And remember, it was salvaged by Deus. From the remains of a destroyed mountain, not from a house. Although I suppose that the rightful owner, whether the Council or Sciona (I’m leaning more towards it being Sciona), would have a claim on it if she wants to make one with the authorities, and Deus would be owed fair compensation for his salvage efforts, under current salvage laws. :)
SmugD still knew it was stolen, because he knew what it was when he illegally entered the Vault
He also knew what it was when Sci came looking for it (he let her check his list of stolen items because he knew for a certainty that he didn’t have it)
Yes, because the brane ripper that was taken was under the custody of an organization jointly run by aliens, so it is assumed that those things were sealed away under their combined jurisdiction. It was probably already classified as off limits to humans, and even most nonhumans on earth.
You’re making a whole lot of unfounded assumptions there. It is probably from Earth, and some sort of magic item. And to quote Arthur C. Clarke…
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
The corollary of that is ‘any magic might as well be interchangeable with sufficiently advanced technology.’
Your counter may well be true, however it is not precluded by nor even implied in weirdee‘s comment. Whatever its origin (be that magical, technological, terrestrial or non-terrestrial), a council including a significant proportion of alien species deemed that the items were so dangerous that they had to be locked up in a very deep sea vault with serious defences.
If their only concern was to keep them out of human hands it would have been far safer to take them off planet completely. By securing them on Earth it is reasonable to infer that it was considered unsafe to expose them to access by offworlders too.
Something which we know to be true for at least one artifact. The one Sciona got her hands on allowed her to open a wormhole across the galaxy. Something Dave informed us is not available to the galactic community. We subsequently learnt that Halo’s aetherum causeway (a similar effect) was only available with Nth generation technology. Something which could cause galactic wars to obtain.
On top of which the general contents of the vault were described as being of an apocalyptic nature. Something that no civilisation would be too keen to be stored on their own planets, nor on unguarded unpopulated planets, where they could be plundered by pirates or other malcontents. In addition to guarding it, it is fair to consider that the Twilight Council (and the civilizations they represent) would make an edict banning accessing/using the contents of the vault. We do know that they make strong rules for things which can affect their interests.
So, I agree with the conclusion that “It was probably already classified as off limits to humans, and even most nonhumans on earth.”
Just because it is from Dirt (what were you saying about ‘unfounded assumptions’? o_O) doesn’t negate anything weirdee typed
There’s a difference between making a negative assumption and a positive assumption. In law, when in doubt, or when something is ambiguous, you throw OUT the assumption. The assumption that it’s not from Earth needs to be proven. If it’s not proven, then the default is that it’s from Earth, since it’s located on Earth and in the possession of an Earth-based community which predates the inclusion of aliens in that society.
Although hey… if you really want to assume it’s not from Earth, I’ll do you one better on the assuming. Maybe it originally belonged to Sciona. And therefore, there was never any theft at all. :) You can’t steal what someone stole from you. :):):) It’s just as valid an assumption as assuming that other aliens in the Council brought the Brane Ripper to Earth
Who said anything about ‘positives’ or ‘negatives’? Simply ‘unfounded’ (which you were the one to bring up in the first place)
Again, that doesn’t negate what weirdee said
If the Cosmic Can-opener belonged to Sci, then the Council
stoleconfiscated it and locked it away from everyone, after she got it back she lost it when Sydney blew her mountain base up, and Valeur stole it from the rubble (taking something you know does not belong to you with the intent to use it yourself is theft)You may be a great lawyer, butt that doesn’t mean you are a good lawyer
I like the Girl Genius version: Any sufficiently analyzed magic is indistinguishable from technology.
Don’t forget the “Freefall” version
and Syd has a gate generator that by itself seems to exceed any known tech……
Also, super’s are relative. Super heroes are super in comparison to other human beings. So, martian man hunter and Hawkman/woman are super to them, but relatively normal/slightly above normal to their own species. Its entirely possible there’s a race of maxima’s out there (given we don’t know the origin of the geode) or a race with comparable or stronger powers. That’s what makes the idea of coming for super’s unlikely.
Wait, you have a relative who is a super? Have we seen them yet? Were they involved in the Restaurant Rumble? o_O
Butt yeah, in cases of alien Supers, they would most likely either be defense (if their powers only work on their world) or offense (if they are only strong on some other planet, like Kryptonians under a yellow sun)
It’s kinda why Ice-dick from DBZ used so many Saiyan’s in his army
Oof – wow. Threw Sydney under the bus, there!
Sydney is the one driving the bus
Didn’t throw her under the bus too much. Breaking tension with a joke is a good public speaking technique. Arianna did it herself during the Archon announcement conference. Sometimes the proportion of joke to tension can be a bit off, and Arianna seemed to think it was here, but she’d at least be aware of its potential utility.
Seems like she’s mostly frustrated because Cora is saying what Cora wants to say instead of what Arianna wants Cora to say . . . and Cora doesn’t work for Archon, and did them a huge favor out of friend(withbenefits)ship with Dabbler. So Arianna has no legitimate reason to think Cora would feel any need to follow her instructions.
That is indeed an M240 (presumably an M240B, which is the version designed to be fired by hand). Which is a GPMG, not an LMG, but that’s a nitpick.
M240 is a 7.62 Nato GPMG not an LMG that would be the 5.56 Nato M249
As for fear mongering, I can see a lot of the left doing so as well.. lets start with the Earth First / Green Peace.
Luddites.. (mostly left.. ) that would hate the idea of man getting even more tech.
Antfia (etc) and the like will just “love” intra-galactic Corporations.
The “ban guns” type if they find out the basic weapons of the Cora and crew.. well lets say that happy is not going to be a word used to describe them.
The “in universe”politics is pretty down the middle which is one of the reasons I dearly enjoy the strip! hope that the comments can be that way too.
LMG is a usage/doctrine definition, not based on the round it fires.
So a GPMG can be a LMG as well, that’s the entire point of the GPMG definition.
Frist let me correct my own error of nomenclature. M240 is a 7.62 Nato MMG(Medium Machine Gun) not an LMG (Light Machine Gun) that would be the 5.56 Nato M249
Your definition based on role does have merit in that, when in combat the role of the LMG might be filled by a MMG or a standard rifle with a larger magazine or even a pair of standard rifle(men) acting in concert to lay down supressive fire but none of these would be an LMG.
M240
TC-3-22.240 “Principles of Operation
Chapter 2 provides the general characteristics, description, major components, and
principles of operation for the M240-series medium machine gun (MMG). Chapter 2
provides a general overview of the mechanics and theory of how the weapon operates,
and the key terms and definitions related to their functioning.”
M249
TC-3-22.249 “Chapter 2
Principles of Operation
Chapter 2 provides the general characteristics, description, major components, and
principles of operation for the M249-series light machine gun (LMG). Chapter 2
provides a general overview of the mechanics and theory of how the weapon operates,
key terms and definitions related to their functioning. ”
That a MMG can be used in a LMG role does not make it a LMG, any more than using a M4 to “snipe” makes it a “Sniper Rifle”
Your definition based on role does have merrit in that, when in combat the role of the LMG might be filled by a MMG or a standard rifle with a larger magazine or even a pair of standard rifle(men) acting in concert to lay down supressive fire
You are listing off the US (army?) classification when they use the gun. MMG is once again a label based on the role of the weapon rather than its specifications.
As built the FN MAG is a GPMG and is made to be used in LMG, MMG or vehicle mounted role.
The M240 is not an LMG it could be used as one but then again a screw driver can be used as a hammer..
So I have to choose, your Role based definition or the Manuals of the US Army (note the M240 and ARC Swat are both in the US ARMY in this strip) I think I will go with the US ARMY as quoted above.
If a screwdriver is built with a hammer head at the other end, it’s also a hammer.
The US Army didn’t make the FN MAG. Fabrique Nationale did.
The grammar of the Latin on that banner is a little wonky – the correct version would read “cum ampla potentia venit amplum onus”.
It still looks like an english sentence “translated” word by word. I would say “cum ampla potentia amplum onus venit” to make it resemble an actual latin sentence.
Cora:(pointing to Arianna)If you ever need ANY kind of legal assistance,just go see this shyster!
Arianna(talking through her teeth)I..am..NOT..that…kind..of..a..lawyer!!!
Cora:Remember,her office is in the alley behind the courthouse and above the pool hall!!!
Later Arianna confronts Sydney for Cora’s opening speech…!
The mental imagery of aliens finding Earth’s entertainment attractive is something I find rather delightful. Trying to imagine the interesting directions that, say, Star Trek conventions could take inn the near future
Strangely, before I woke up today and read this comic I was having a dream where I was trying to explain to someone why aliens wouldn’t make their presence known.
I thought it was because the knowledge of those species and the way their civilizations work would unavoidably alter the way we think about those things in media, potentially shoehorning our imaginations based on that knowledge and permanently changing the character of the ideas we churn out. I don’t remember if the aliens were known to exist in that dream.
I’d like to hear how the Flat Earth idiots try to work the aliens into their conspiracy theory. They already claim that everyone who ever visits the South pole, oh excuse me, the South ice wall at the edge of the world, is mind controlled to forget seeing the edge of the world. But that’s humans fooling humans, and adding in aliens would require a whole new ass-pull reason why aliens would give a fuck about lying to us about the shape of our world.
You mean the Undersiders. From the underside of the flat Earth.
Our LMGs are … boring?
Awww…
“With the heaviest burden cums the best pr0n”
I was wondering why Cora thought our porn was interesting.
No, the appearance of LMGs are boring, not what they do
Lynn Minmay is earth’s greatest hero, after all.
to be completely fair. cora’s approach is probably a better approach then some stiff uptight diplomatic alien trying to abide by any standards of professionalism because this is more real, and more sincerely said. yes many business professionals, bosses, and so on will rather someone came to them professionally and that is good. but in a setting like this. honesty in this nature feels more comforting, though to some a little inappropriate but still good
I honestly think Magic could fare pretty well on a galactic stage. There’s a trope about the impossibly-complex card game. Where mastery takes years of study and there’s more variables to track than any one being can grasp… where the characters luck through with one trick.
That’s Magic. “I play this card, this creature makes you take whatever damage it takes. I swing it at you. You block with a 1/1. And now you’ve made it unable to attack. Smart. I blow up one of your lands and everything on the board takes 20 points of damage. So… you lose.”
That’s not a hypothetical. That’s two cards you can totally have.
Look up Dragon Poker.
A simple little game for kids which pales compared to complex adult games like Fizzbin from Beta Antares IV.
Say, I didn’t read the comments yet, so someone might have already spotted it… The USA Flag is backwards. The stars should be hung on the LEFT side when against a wall. Basically the stars should always be “Top-Left” or against where it is fixed (such as a pole). If against a wall, either vertically or horizontally, stars go top-left, always.
Not trying to nit-pick, and someone may have already spotted it. But I just noticed after reading the comic a 3rd time.
Crap, shoulda read the comments first (in my defense there were 280 of them). sry
Ctrl+F is your friend.
Machine Guns.
If you don’t like those, go for something else.
First of all, I’m sure they’ve got the coolest toys in their armory, even stuff that’s still in prototype stage or models never released to the public.
For that matter, with the gun nuts there, they probably have some old classics like a water cooled maxim and others. After all, Peggy didn’t specify what type of machine gun that I can recall. :D
Nope.
Though they haven’t been deployed since the late nineteen sixties, the military still has some M9-7 flamethrowers stored. For all their age those things are way cooler. Or hotter (whichever)
Technically we still have those.
I mean, realistically speaking this is pretty accurate. The universe is a really, really big place. Everything an invading species might want would be information. Entertainment, information about our politics and things, weird ways we put things together that others haven’t thought of.
All of this can be transmited back your people over a phone. You don’t really need to take anyone or anything off the planet to obtain it.
Its not like we have any rare minerals that can’t be easily obtained elsewhere. The few weird substances we have we made in a lab, and again the info about how we did it is more valuable than the actual substance.
Unless the broadcast to Single Female Lawyer gets cut for some reason and the people of Omicron Persei 8 invade to get the end of the episode.
I’m just imagining people at some crowded bar someplace, who can’t hear all that Cora is saying, and some wag asks, “Did she just say they are coming for our PORN??!!??”
diverse alarums. exuent, stage right.
Yes, they are. Many times.
they arent coming for our women- theyre coming for our muppets
Alien invasion movies made a lot more sense when we thought there might be life on Mars.
They are still trying to find intelligent life on Dirt, still awaiting conclusive proof
Intelligent ^life^, certainly!
Intelligent CIVILIZATIONS on the other hand…
It is not as simple as that.
We currently lack the theoretical framework of physics to even begin thinking about FTL propulsion. Right now we are at the concept that ‘if we destroy the universe then we might (!) be able to construct and power a theoretical ftl drive, but will have no universe left to travel in.’
All that the arrival of aliens on earth would teach us is that there is more to our understanding of physics than Einstein. Which we already suspect to be true but we have nothing even beginning to resemble a hypothesis what direction that ‘more than Einstein’ must be found in.
Cora arriving on earth with her spaceship today would not help us achieving ftl capabilities any sooner than showing a 1st century Roman senator a (working) lightbulb would allow that civilisation to develop electricity in a generation.
It may also be that a working FTL propulsion requires technology that is beyond our capabilities for the foreseeable future. E.g. if it requires manipulation of subatomic particles on the quantum level, or gamma ray mirrors (which by our understanding of physics can’t really exist without breaking physics locally). We could have blueprints of such a drive and still be centuries away from being able to reproduce the actual working drive.
We know how a space elevator works, we know with as much certainty as physics allows that it will work. But that does not mean we can actually construct one because we have no idea how to create the materials that are needed for it, nor if such materials could even theoretically exist. Seeing a picture of an actual space elevator on a different planet is not going to help us any to build one for ourselves.
Just putting together a lot of brilliant minds is not guaranteeing results any faster than waiting for that one spark of inspiration. After all, we have been doing pretty much that with our top theoretical and applied physicists but we are not really any closer to the integration of gravity with the other three fundamental forces of nature than we were in the days of Einstein. And it took a pretty much out of nowhere mind like Einstein to point out that there is a limitation to Newtonian physics and what the basis for the overarching theory might be.
That has a whole lot of assumptions that are unwarranted.
“This is a lightbulb. It’s glass, with a near vaccuum (almost no air in it), and an extremely thin filament, that you run electricity across. Electricity is like lightning or those little sparks that happen when your feet rub across a rug.”
There are only 3-4 technologies there, and each one could be developed in 40-50 years. With explicit hints, in 20-30 years, easily, once you know they are there to be found.
If we knew, for sure, that FTL was possible, and had any hints HOW, then we could do it in that amount of time. (Probably much faster, given the coming singularity, but it wouldn’t be humans flying the ships then.
Realy?
what if for example ftl requires metastable elements (Beyond A > 300) that only THEORETICALLY exist because we don’t even know how to get them, Ironically the best we may be able to get out of Cora is the equivalent of the old high school textbook wing cross section, because she knows it’s a good enough explanation for kids who, frankly don’t know enough to get them into serious trouble.
Seriously we have known about nukes for years, but the best North Korea could do at first were fizzles. (to be fair the US had a number of Fizzles itself. (RedWing-Yuma test yielded ~10% of its intended yeild, 190 tons Vs Expected 1.5-2 kt)
John Ringo wrote a series based on the comic strip Schlock Mercenary, yes he wrote a book based on a comic strip that wasn’t his he had Howards permission. The series is called the Hot Gate series and deals with earths first contact after the Gatekeepers push the gate that opens to the rest of the galaxy in system. They only races that want to invade are those that have recently joined the galactic society mostly because they need resources which we have and cheap labor which makes it easy after all they control the orbits.
No really once you have the orbit it is just a matter of playing drop the rock. To make a long story short it doesn’t go well for any of the races that go up against the xenophobic monkey’s. Solar powered super lasers well not lasers but at the out put they have they may as well be lasers it just sunlight collected to a single point using giant mirrors. Tend to make quick work of any space fleet exiting the gate. They are mining tools honest not weapons systems really that was what they were designed to do mine asteroids. Turned out they made good pew pew as well.
Three lessons ever species needs to take home before making first contact with earth.
1. We are homicidal xenophobic monkey’s no really we are we even have issues within our own species.
2. We are clever ass monkeys as well.
3. We don’t have an external threat to unite us. Do not become that threat if you come at us for was kill us cause the sun to go nova drop really big rocks on us, or unleash the grey goo do not allow us to survive at any level. We will figure out how to reach you and we will get our pound of flesh.
So if you are going to come here to be nice do so just be aware not all of us will be welcoming.
Hot Gate is #3 in the Troy Rising series, which has already been mentioned a couple times. I was unaware of the Schlock connection though.
“1. We are homicidal xenophobic monkey’s no really we are we even have issues within our own species.”
1a. we will kill ourselves, if it will kill a single enemy!
NO, your job is to make the OTHER guy die for HIS species.
you do realise that we have a number of countries who have decided that MAD was a rational policy.
if your not aware, Even North Korea is suspected of having enough nukes by itself to Trigger a Global Ice Age comparable to the one that peaked around 20,000 years ago. only the temperature drop would take less than one year.
So basically the goal of MAD is to have ENOUGH nukes on your own to tigger the coldest Global temperatures in 20,000 years.
Surely a totally rational defence policy.
that should read “Exponentially more than enough”
Israel is currently believed to have the most survivable nuclear stockpile. But even that is believed to be large enough to trigger another “Little Ice age” and reduce food production by around 30-50 % for decades.
Nuke winter is based in part on Tambora which is estimated as 800 megatons, caused the year with out summer, but not a little ice age. Most modern nukes are sub megaton yield .. the blast from Tambora is almost 2x larger than all us icbm warheads (2019) combined . 450 minute man III with 3x350kt 472.5 mt
The problem with mutually assured destruction (MAD) is that it only works if all sides involved are run by rational actors. During the cold war the U.S. v/s U.S.S.R. standoff held because the neither the Russians or the Americans were suicidal. MAD even works to a degree with leaders like Kim Jong Un because he is in no hurry to die either. Where it falls apart is when you have people who believe suicide attacks get them a ticket to heaven and 72 virgins. MAD doesn’t work when the other guy wants to die.
Isn’t that just a bunch of “Humanity Fuck Yeah!” wank that assumes alien races wouldn’t at least be equally, or better, equipped than us?
And also makes the rather hilarious assumption that humans are infinitely determined and resourceful.
all of you including DAVE are forgetting something.
–>> hang a stealth communications satellite with a lot of hard drive storage in / near moon orbit
come back next year to pick up whatever broadcast transmissions it’s received.
Voila ! you have a year’s worth of what ever silliness these dirtsiders want to broadcast.
hand that over to a bucketload of alien sociology graduate students so they can write up a master’s
sell whatever’s leftover for a bit of profit.
THEN go grab an ore-rich asteroid (Psyche, for one) for whatever gold and shiny junk you want
grab an ice asteroid for hydrogen ice and use that to hydrolize moon dust for whatever you want
out of moon dust and rocks.
AND find a good moon lava-tube cave to put some giant long Biglow bubble units inside of
and fill that up with oxygen from electrolized moon ice (and more hydrogen left over for moon rocks)
fill the moon cave station with a bucketload of robot units to keep building moonbase stuff
and go find a far-away greenfield world that got zapped by a stellar nova and
had a mass-extinction die-off with nothing left but grass growing on land and maybe
some fish still left in the ocean. dump a bucketload of your favorite food-seeds and
head on back home.
pick up a buckeload of colonists / refugees and give them one partially built moonbase
and one grass-field colony world with a lot of shiny gold coins to use as currency
and a lot of silly broadcasts from silly dirtsiders for comedy relief.
*WHY* O *WHY* ever bother with an alien invasion ?????????????
Why? For the porn
And for what ever crazy psychosis dreamt up tentacle-unicorn porn
“Voila ! you have a year’s worth of what ever silliness these dirtsiders want to broadcast.”
We stopped broadcasting, once cable and the Internet were created.
Not sure about them all being ugly. This is the proposed next gen weapons platform for the army infantry. Think it looks pretty sweet.
https://tinyurl.com/y5pkyv8v
Doesn’t really look that much different, and besides, DaveB was talking about current, available-in-2011, LMGs, not some theoretical future weapon that is still in the prototype stage (at best)
most current L/M machineguns are very similar in details due to one factor. Form Follows Function. For man portability they must be designed around human ergonomics and weight limits [look at how akward the “Prawn” weapons are in District 9 for human physiology to use]. Due to the thermal loading of firing multiple internal combustion charges in rapid succession, and a lack of a cooling system [weight limits], they need to be designed with hot swappable barrels to prevent warping and damage [which also means that carry handle is actually for getting a very hot barrel out of the gun]. They are designed with a belt feed for maximum sustainable fire [no magazine swaps, though that line is sometimes blurred with drum fed LMGs]. Modern weapons are designed to be used with modern optics as well as they have proven to be an asset [though iron sights are still there as backup]. Finally, you add light weight protective guards and heat shields to keep your grunts from burning themselves during operation. There may be a few details I missed but I think you get the point. Now, there ARE some design improvements coming down the pipe, but by in large even the new fangled caseless or “case telescoped” designs like the next gen pic posted STILL have to take these things into consideration so they will follow that form…because the form follows function.
Her methods of smoothing people’s tensions would be horrifying to actual people there, but as someone not involved…teehee =D
“Nobody’s coming to invade you, because you’re not worth the effort. (Except for some of your entertainment. Love that.)”
If they like our porn, they might try to steal our women too. I smell an inconsistency!
*takes up a guard position near to Sydney (just behind some thick armoured wall, until the car shooting is over)*
I’m surprised Sydney can lift that 30 lb ammo box so casually. Though I guess she is hugging it to her body.
Good point.
Maybe it is empty and Peggy is getting Sydney to load it up? This being under the principle that we already saw Peggy insisting that Sydney learn every aspect of her personal firearm before even being allowed to fire it. Plus Sydney is showing absolutely no strain, which does not fit with her limited strength.
I’m not. Have you ever picked up a Diamond Distribution box holding a week’s worth of comic orders? Easily more than 30 pounds, at least if the store is doing enough business to stay open.
Ammo is heavy but not that heavy. (thankfully)
Standard Ammo can holds 200 rounds
https://www.luckygunner.com/7-62x51mm-m62-tracer-m80-ball-lake-city-m13-linked-ammo-can-200-rounds#info
147gr 7.62 Nato (M80) weights .853 oz each
https://www.thefirearmblog.com/blog/2016/04/09/how-much-does-your-ammunition-weigh/
7.62 nato 147g .853oz x 200 = 170.6oz / 15 = 10.6625 lbs
Edit 7.62 nato 147g .853oz x 200 = 170.6oz / 15 = 10.6625 lbs should read
7.62 nato 147g .853oz x 200 = 170.6oz / 16 = 10.6625 lbs
That’s still 13 pounds with the can itself if it is only 200 rounds.
It’s hard to judge size because she’s kind of tiny, but that can looks large for 200 rounds. Can looks more like a 500 or 600 round one which makes more sense to me if they are doing a lmg. 200 rounds doesn’t go very far in practicing with one of them. That’s also assuming it’s not 556.
200 round is the standard. I do not know of any larger as usually for larger amounts cases contains multiple 200 rounds boxes.
Oops, box has m80 which is 7.62 nato
I would not be so quick to say we have nothing of interest to aliens who like “military solutions”.
With all the space tourists sneaking around up to now, it will get out that the LAST would-be imperial Aliari ANYWHERE are RIGHT HERE and UNPROTECTED! (as far as Gal-civ considers protected/unprotected). The list of races who want them extinct has to be a considerable one, not just the Mega-Squidwards.
Someone is very likely to show up and force Halo to show off her Pew-pew, and then there will be 2 things that are of interest; Aliari and Nth orbs.
wish there was an edit function, meant to write “imperialistic Aliari”…
If there’s enough Galactic interest in our pornography, we could set up some sort of orbital nexus for custom adult video orders, sex tour booking, interstellar Tinder hookups, etc. A sort of Porn Hub, if you will.
I think we now know what Deus traded for the alien technology at Fracture Station.
all the upvotes.
I can’t decide if using Cora as the spokeswoman for aliens is a good or bad idea. On one hand, she looks like just a blue human, so she’s more familiar. On the other hand, she’s a blue human,that’s a couple hours in makeup and people know it’s easy to fake. So while it may be easier for some people to not flee in terror, at the same time you just know this universe’s version of 4chan is lighting up with threads about how fake she looks.
Ironically, I think Dabbler would be ideal. You can fake a lot but an extra pair of arms, not so much.
You would rather they used the guy who looks like the devil? o_O
If too many people think she’s fake, she can always go Naga on them.
Archer? really? god not even aliens have good taste.
Well it’s not Shakespeare, but it is hilarious. And the more you know the more hilarious it becomes, as there are piles of meta jokes and obscure references used.
If something requires technology that is improbable or impossible by our current understanding of the nature of nature then he will say so. He even has a series about such technology.
If something requires technology that is outside of our scope to create, he also generally mentions this. Those solar mirrors (the simple ones) he mentions are theoretically easy to create. They are a thin sheet of aluminum, the thinner the better. Nothing we can not mass produce if we were so inclined. He does mention that getting them up from space is prohibitively expensive. That is also his caution for e.g. the orbital ring. Nothing we could not easily construct today, we just can’t afford to launch it all into low earth orbit.
The special mirrors required for e.g. solar lifting, those he mentions that they need to be so perfect and so perfectly aligned that we are not, and may not ever be, able to create them.
But yes, he likes his engineering big and he is optimistic. Still, I prefer that over the ‘the earth is dooooooomed’ pessimism that is more popular these days.
I almost missed this because you didn’t (or the site didn’t) park your reply in the thread.
Look, when you try to say something that can be paraphrased as “It’s completely possible except that it is impossible” it is hard not to disparage your point of view. An “easily constructed” space ring sitting on Earth’s surface isn’t really a space ring, now is it?
Mankind being able to create a thin sheet of aluminum foil and stating that therefore the technology to create solar orbiting power collectors is hugely inaccurate, because it ignores the fact that we currently have a hard time keeping a few people in close orbit around the planet in what amounts to a tin can and which requires constant resupply to remain livable. The spacecraft needed to transport, deploy, and construct the hypothetical “solar orbiting power collectors” do not exist now, and probably will not exist within the next hundred years, and so what good exactly is the technology to make a thin sheet of aluminum foil to this proposed project? Oh sure, it is a requirement, but one which is so low on the totem pole of requirements and so obscured by far more pressing and unobtainable requirements that it could almost be eliminated altogether.
You can’t just go “Thin aluminum foil, yep. Well, we’ve checked the technology box needed for this project, so let’s move along.”
Bolds was supposed to be closed after “do not exist now, and probably will not exist within the next hundred years” but you can neither preview nor edit, so fuckitall.
Like said somewhere else: knowing what is required is the first step
They have the technology to build the ring, that’s the first step, they just now need to work on getting it up, and staying, in orbit, that’s the next step