Grrl Power #712 – Turn on your fart light…
Let’s all politely ignore that “MassFab” is written in English, hmm? I could have written it in one of those alien 1 for 1 swap languages like the Futureama font or Stargate SG-1 Ancient or Zentradi or… actually there’s a lot of them. That was my tactic for most of the signs on Fracture Station. But everything happening on Cora’s ship is running through universal translators anyway, so there’s no need to complicate things with some squiggly-do language.
Let’s all also ignore how stark the guest quarters must be. For some reason I decided to make the wall in her room look like a cold iron dungeon wall. I know Cora said she was upgrading the ship bit by bit, but the interior design of the thing is still super slapdash at the moment. Maybe there’s “exposed brick” i.e. unfinished walls here and there since Cora is the sort of person who cares more about function than form. Once the new relays are in, she doesn’t particularly care about the plasteel finish. She actually prefers the easier access for maintenance, but exposed conduit does create security problems in case they get boarded, so she’ll eventually have all that stuff covered up.
Fun fact, Grakz usually comes with a coupon for a free rectal skin graft. Cora distracted Sydney away from the booth before she got her voucher.
Double res version will be posted over at Patreon. $1 and up, but feel free to contribute as much as you like.
We later find out that the last orb is for plugging the burning plasma accretion disk of a black hole and now has found a new “purpose” in its life, one that no one EVER mentions again.
Believe it or not, in Russian, that makes perfect sense.
Believe it or not, in English that makes perfect sense too – especially if you skip the “new purpose” part and put a full stop after “black hole”, continuing with “And no one will EVER mention this again” or something akin.
Maybe, also, reaching as far as replacing “black” with “brown” for all working on especially low clock rates or using damaged wetware – but oh well. To (mis)quote Kharms – cattle should not be allowed to laugh.
I surmise that Syd has finally met her match in spicy food given her reaction to the aftereffects of grakz. Unless she’s a masochist and wants to repeat this experience.
That or she’s the sort that Never learns.
A) “Last time I drank Vodka I did stupid stuff.”
B) “Yep. You swore never to drink vodka again.”
A) “I can handle it! Bottoms up!”
She may take it as a challenge, like she could gal up to it. “It burns less this time, so it will be even better next time! And now I know to bring 50 gallons of ice cream!”
I know people who would follow A) and B) with:
C) “Yeah, THAT was the STUPIDEST thing I did! Gimme more!!”
Are you KIDDING???
This is Syd we’re talking about……
Now that she KNOWS the effects of eating grakz, she’ll be much better prepared for the NEXT time she decides to eat it…..
Trust me, those of us who LOVE the burn, ALWAYS go back, it’s an addiction.
Hehe, she’ll have a tub of icecream read for it! :)
Concurring with this; it’s an incredible rush to eat something that spicy. The adrenalin rush from the pain is part of the reason to eat it, and why we keep coming back. As strange as it sounds, I can see someone getting a rush from the aftermath, too, if it looks as spectacular as Sydney describes.
That… actually sounds like a kind of gastronomic masochism?
For some people, masochism is play.
I find it best to call it “discomfort food”.
This is the kind of aftereffects that might turn The Mighty Halo off of spices for for awhile! :O
……………….
Yeah, probably not. >_>;
I was laughing too… till I sneezed. NEVER EVER sneeze when eating spicy cup noodles! One noodle hanging out a nostril… like spicy noodle nose floss… and the burn trailed out both ends… :(
Had to have a deviated septum fixed a number of years back right in the middle of winter. Now bear in mind they had burnt out all my nose hair while doing this and after all the packing had been taken out which they managed to pull one side and the whole thing from left and right came out one nostril yeah that stings, you then take your first breath of winter air through your newly fixed nose and …………
I found out there can be a sensation worse than spice up the shnoz of which I never, EVER want to repeat again as long as I live. It put to shame the sensation of going for a whizz after handling chillies for that extra stinging sensation so I can sympathise with your noodle nose plug.
I’d compare that feeling to what I imagine the pain felt by Arnold’s character in Total Recall getting the transponder out of his nose…then snorting menthol.
I’ll quote Super Dave Osbourne “New Pain!”
OMG Theres a video out there of Gordon Ramsay on a show where they try really hot chicken wings… They start light and work up to the radioactive stuff… Phrases like “Bloody Hell” and “Fuck me” abound… You have to watch the whole video though… Something quite satisfying happens to poor old Gordon…. The show is called “Hot Ones”… its 31 minutes long but well worth the watch…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9DyHthJ6LA
at least one of the noodles didn’t touch your eye :P (happened in this comic is why i mention)
this be page in question: https://www.grrlpowercomic.com/archives/697
Well I found out that certain hot spices tend to get mixed into my tears
This is a good time for Sydney to discover that a mystery-orb is a medic . . .
That’s what I was thinking. Has she tried grabbing it while she was injured?
You mean, like after she met Shadow Nut-Crunch’s fist? Or her ‘Noodle Incident’ prior to the press conference? Nah, what possible reason would there be for her to try?
During her initial Archon interview, it was suggested she try for the unknown orbs if she ever got a papercut, and Sydney had a freakout over the mere idea of papercuts…so I think she’s subconsciously deliberately NOT thinking about reaching for it when injured.
No, personally as someone who has a fear of the idea of pain, agree with Sydney’s freakout, butt also believe that Sydney would reach for it after an injury
It was the idea of deliberately given herself a papercut that freaked her out, not the papercut itself, so yes, believe she would have tried the Mystery Ball first before going to see the Super Doc
We also have to remember, DaveB already knows what it does so it’s more than likely that what would trigger it into full action hasn’t happened yet (unless he is doing an MCU and snuck it in somewhere where no one, in or outside of the webic, has spotted it)
could be a biological mass recycler
like, she tries to use it to heal herself, hoping for a medic orb, and it turn her glowing poop and farts back into edible matter, and she is disgusted by the very idea of it
Poor Syd. Surely the heroes of old got better trophies for their adventures. Not even one of those T-shirts that says “I ate a whole bowl of grakz, and all I got was this lousy T-shirt and a scorched colon.” #Sad
Nothing like the five stages of disgestive grief.
I have a lot of sympathy for what Sydney is going through. I too have considerable experience dealing with wickedly evil #2’s. In my case the #2’s have tried to break me using bribes, hypnosis, torture, brainwashing and extortion. I am truly thankful that none of the #2’s I had to deal with ever thought to set my ass on fire.
It was at that moment that Sydney made a horrifying discovery…
She’d hit the PA button instead of intercom.
Frix is Dogbert in this cartoon, eh?
https://dilbert.com/strip/1995-05-24
And to cap it off, in her mad button pushing to get Cora, one of the buttons was “Record” and another was “Video”.
you realize that several of Sydney’s team mates would pay good money for that video. someone whisper that to Cora- there may be some profit in this trip!
With all due respect, can you imagine the rein of destruction that Sydney would wreak if she ever found out?
Somethings just arn’t worth the money.
Grakz! Now with after burners!
One redneck to another “Billy jo, I quad damage dare you, to willingly eat it twice!”
Grakz interstellar competition chilli cookoff board:
Whoa she ate 4 bowls in one sitting? Impossible!
But we have video proof, confirmed by the vender and bystanders.
Now we have to invite her! Gragnicks encyclopedia of galactic oddities would beg us to be there for new record!
Another one from the Grakz media group:
Grakz! It’s #1 in the #2 ratings!
Another one from the Grakz media group:
Grakz! It’s #1 in the #2 ratings!
Grakz! we have the cure for those brown noses!
Alari refugee: “Where is Sydney? I really want to thank her properly for her help.”
Cora: “You really don’t want to bother her right now.”
Alari refugee: “Oh, is there something we can help her with as repayment?”
Cora: “No, you really, really don’t want to help her with this.”
Cora goes away suppressing more laughter; the Alari refugee goes away confused.
What are the odds that there is an Alari medic among the refugees? Or even a doctor? Or an environmental engineer?
Okay, and what if that was the person Cora was turning away?
Sydney now understands why Grakx always gets “glowing reviews”. Universal translation doesn’t always help.
Hmm… now, where else have we seen a black pillar with truncated edges before?
Good catch.
Oh, very nice.
And that would absolutely track as a good choice for Deus to take back to Earth. Betcha it’s got loads of useful designs on it. He could be pulling unexpected headgear lagopmorphs out for years with that toy.
Obviously the ship has smart bulkheads that can (to a degree) reconfigure their structure to deal with hazards to hull integrity. In this case the bathroom door detected hazardous materials and decided it needed to be more secure.
The medic I understand, the priest I understand, but… a poet? What in space does she need a poet for?
Because no-one else will do justice to actually describing the situation. My personal take:
Medic: In case she survives.
Priest: In case she doesn’t survive.
Poet: To make sure the experience survives.
She needs a Skald one to write this into an epic like Beowulf. Low she was brought by the Grakz, for she did not foresee the after effects. Late into the night the arse burned with the fires of Surt as it had been foretold.
Did you read Terry Pratchett’s The Last Hero? That’s exactly what the heroes did – bring along a
bardskald in order to memorialize their actions.Yes I have and there is a complete collection in the library in the other room.
It’s a reference to a line from Contact* where the main character is discovering unspeakable heavenly wonders.
Was surprised to learn the trope namer is actually the Discovery Channel instead.
This page made ME laugh out loud!
Please tell me she’s going to fart luminescent particles for the next couple days
She went into space with her C.O., got left behind, fought some giant monsters, went wandering aimlessly, had shenanigans with a woof, and comes back to Earth with holographic wings and glowing farts. Space exploration turned her into a kickass fairy.
I think she prefers the term ‘battle angel’.
I see what you did there.
More like lovely Angel (alt dirty pair title).
“Stinkerbelle”
It makes your farts glow? I want some!
This is something so hot that only Sydney could eat it. And it is 10 times hotter exiting.
I think you better make sure your will is in order before trying that!
Apparently, even grakz isn’t as notorious as Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters. With a PGGB you also get a list of charitable organizations you can visit to help with your recovery. I would have thought that half the galaxy would have petitioned for & sponsored something like this for grakz recovery.
There are likely more survivors of Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters, than survivors who have consumed Grakz.
I suspect there are more survivors of Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters, than there are survivors of the consumption (and excretion) of Grakz.
I usually get triggered whenever this comic uses soundwords that aren’t actually sound words, taking me out of the experience (except ker-bun… ker-bun is brilliant) but this page makes up for it. This page rocks. Thank you!
Well, at least Cora fabricated some new glasses for Sydney. She dodged a $300 trip to the optometrist! Not that Cora cares about the cash value of anything, being from a post-scarcity society, but there are a lot of people who wouldn’t do this many favors for anyone, much less someone they only knew second-hand from a friend and whatever meme videos were shot of Syd quaffing all that pyrotechnic spice.
We currently live in a post scarcity society, actually a manufactured scarcity society. We could feed every person on the planet and give medical care to each one of them. Also we could eradicate the majority of deadly diseases, and curb global warming while also improving our current standard of living, but there are too many social and legal barriers that keep us from doing that.
Interesting fantasy world you live in.
Medical care isn’t magic. It takes trained, experienced personnel and time. As smart as our average doctors are, they aren’t really that good at fixing run-of-the-mill organic problems, let alone able to “eradicate the majority of deadly diseases”.
This does not mean that our government isn’t wasting trillions of dollars worth of that experienced man-time doing silly paperwork …
… for instance why are there different medical codes for which finger the bird bit or what kind of bird it was? Those should be separate fields under one code for “bitten by a bird” [bitten where] [by what kind of bird] …
… or driving up the cost of routine medications due to their potential for being abused. But it’s just not true that we can provide medical care to everybody, unless we want to STOP doing lots of other things that need doing.
Sydney thought she was dying, until she figured out what that “light at the end of the tunnel” really was…
…And when she found out precisely what that tunnel was, she started to think about dying again…
Now that’s the kind of 3D printer I could get used to.
About 8 years ago I discovered I could no longer handle the heat levels I could when I was a 20 something studly dude when I had my late wife pick up some hot chorizo.
About halfway through the chorizo and eggs I’d whipped up I felt the real heat but kept going.
When the cold sweats hit and soaked my t-shirt through I put it aside figuring to chalk it up to well some things you just can’t do anymore.
It was the following am when I coined the term crapping thermite.
Kind of thinking Syd will be coining the term crapping stellar material.
Crapping solar plasma?
The correct term–which has been around for well over a decade, in circles with IBS, Crohn’s, metformin (diabetes medication), and/or those who lack a gallbladder (such as myself, plus the diabetes meds thing)–is actually the portmanteau “assplosion.”
Trust me, you’ll know instantly if you’ve ever had an assplosion.
I was hoping Cora might fabricate either diamond lenses for Sydney’s glasses (scratch resistant, and lighter than before thanks to diamond’s high index of refraction) or high-tech glasses with a zoom and x-ray feature.
Who says she’s not doing both?
I think she got the specs for the x-ray ones from someone named ‘Tedd Verres’.
That’s not ACTUAL x-ray and those glasses were standard issue for all “DGB” agents. Cora might easily get the specifications from lot of people. Like, Arthur J. Arthur :-).
Try being a T1 Diabetic with high blood sugar and having eaten a lot of spicy food
I WISH that was like this.
(At a gaming club I had to warn people not to use the closer loo… and then there was a farting incident)
Poor Sydney. But I am immediately reminded of this sequence, one of the greatest ever, from the movie ‘Evolution’:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWAMgvNJ-ro
Probably been said already, but as to Cora’s very last comment, Sydney really can’t ask for more than that. I mean, the art to me makes it look like Cora is really trying.
Max: “So Sydney, what did you learn on Cora’s ship?”
Syd: “That I have a very resilient butthole.”
*Everyone stares forever*
*Dabbler collapses*
well, not counting her orbs, sydney went from no super-powers to a rather embarrassing one. and so many seem to gain their powers from aliens sources, no matter how strange. reminds me of another comic making fun of superheroes…..
http://www.superstupor.com/sust11262007.shtml
This reminds me of the time I accepted the challenge of drinking some “Dave’s Insanity” hot sauce, straight…. or rather about four hours afterwards….Not my brightest decision…
Cora in actual clothing? Neat.
Why am I laughing so much at this??!
Seriously, I thought the on-going poop and fart jokes in Pawn comic was bad!
Watching her 3D print the glasses is cool. Though one wonders, would this open up after market features such as Zoom in/out, X-ray, heat vision. Much like Superboy’s (90s clone) new specs.
Oh god, I laughed way hard at the strip.
I’m literally crying from laughing at the comments.
This is what I needed right now. You crazy whackadoos.
Cora looks way different without her… battle gear? Casual attire? I’m not sure what suit she’s been wearing most of this time, but her pajamas lend her an entirely new look. I think it’s mostly the lack of neck and lower cheek plating.
Sorry Sydney…I AM laughing at you…cause that is freakin’ FUNNY AS HECK! >.>!!!
Good on Cora for admitting she is laughing
“And this is how Sydney became The Spleen.”
A question: why is it Cora who is fabbing Sydney’s new glasses and not Mr Frix-it? o_O
Frix is probably dying of laughter and can’t see straight…?
Also…while the final decision of what is going on in this scene is up to DaveB (as always, as is his right as the creator)…it is quite possible that Cora is ‘upgrading’ Sydney’s glasses. Possibly as a sort of heads-up tactical display screen interlinked with her arm unit…or maybe making it so that the eyepieces will translate the 12,000 languages and the temple pieces that hook over her ears will whisper translations in her ears…because Sydney has the ability to travel between stars, and that means she needs a discreet way to be able to ask for directions home if (or rather, when) she goes wandering and gets lost again.
Or maybe Cora’s just making the frame & lenses out of super-tough materials so that they can survive a super-fight. (My money is on some sort of interface AND super-tough material construction, but again, it’ll be up to DaveB in the end, and we’ll just have to wait and see.)
That is a bit more in depth then my comment. I like your thoughts on this.
Given all my many “interesting” digestive tract issues over the decades…I am quite certain I would be willing to eat grakz a second time. The pain side of the issue doesn’t sound that much worse than what I have already suffered every single week since 1994…sometimes several times a week.
The front end of things is where I’d have trouble with the spiciness levels…but pretty sure I’d eat at least two bowls’ worth, at separate times (and with pepcid complete on standby), just to be able to experience the visual effects.
(Also for interstellar street cred, yo!)