Grrl Power #712 – Turn on your fart light…
Let’s all politely ignore that “MassFab” is written in English, hmm? I could have written it in one of those alien 1 for 1 swap languages like the Futureama font or Stargate SG-1 Ancient or Zentradi or… actually there’s a lot of them. That was my tactic for most of the signs on Fracture Station. But everything happening on Cora’s ship is running through universal translators anyway, so there’s no need to complicate things with some squiggly-do language.
Let’s all also ignore how stark the guest quarters must be. For some reason I decided to make the wall in her room look like a cold iron dungeon wall. I know Cora said she was upgrading the ship bit by bit, but the interior design of the thing is still super slapdash at the moment. Maybe there’s “exposed brick” i.e. unfinished walls here and there since Cora is the sort of person who cares more about function than form. Once the new relays are in, she doesn’t particularly care about the plasteel finish. She actually prefers the easier access for maintenance, but exposed conduit does create security problems in case they get boarded, so she’ll eventually have all that stuff covered up.
Fun fact, Grakz usually comes with a coupon for a free rectal skin graft. Cora distracted Sydney away from the booth before she got her voucher.
Double res version will be posted over at Patreon. $1 and up, but feel free to contribute as much as you like.
SuperheroThey're super, thanks for asking!
Meatspace ComicSeriously these are awesome. Check 'em out!
Not UpdatingNo longer updating or only updates sporadically, but definitely worth reading.
SeriouslySeriously you guys. If you like Grrl Power the check these out.
"Mature"Mature subject matter and occasionally something explicit but usually safe. Can't guarantee the ads are safe though.
Dongs Ahoy!Full frontal and backal. Lots of skin, sex on some or all pages, explicit or otherwise.
Ah – an upgrade in the ‘ring of fire’ experience.
Too bad there isn’t a floaty ball for that. Or is there>
It has been speculated that the 7th orb may be a medical treatment center of some sort. I personally think that’s a fairly logical possibility. It all hangs on what DaveB originally designed into the plot.
A similar speculation I hereby put forth: the 7th orb could be a general utility catchall, full of miscellaneous useful tools. One or two of the power-up branches might be dedicated to medical tech while others spawn Baterangs, magnetic boots, flashlights, and etc. useful Swiss Army Knife bag of tricks.
While my first ideas had been towards a sort of healing ability as well these days I’m personally leaning more towards the last orb being a form of communication device. The two branches coming from it are even conveniently mirrored as to represent both directions needed to communicate (understanding them and they understanding you). Each activated node would then signify a greater understanding (speaking, reading, writing, body language, etc.).
They yellow one is already communication tho
I see that one more as reconnaissance, its abilities for communication are limited to being used as a short range* holographic telephone. The other functions of the yellow orb also lean more towards information gathering.
*When compared to other communication devices such as radio or telephones.
So like Vincent the vending machine.
https://www.reddit.com/r/DnDGreentext/comments/5uaepg/the_absolutely_hilarious_tale_of_vincent_the/ddt2atl/
After reading about Vincent I have to wonder if the DM for the game substituted LSD for the players Mountain Dew and then sat back, watched and took notes.
It’s important to remember that Sydney hasn’t figured out what that orb does yet, and she’s tested the things extensively. If one of the orbs mimics Batman’s utility belt, do you really think she wouldn’t have discovered that on her own?
The fact that we can honestly debate if ‘medicinal treatement for severely burned rectum producing Dark Souls-esq ember’ was planned is my new favorite thing.
Also, speaking of Dark Souls, I guess that gives the dark sign a whole new meaning.
It is my speculation that the 7th Orb is a CTRL or ALT.
Holding it gives any of the other Orbs a pre-programmed function
that may or may not be related to its normal function.
It will turn out to be the orb combo option. When holding it in one hand she can activate and release other orbs and still maintain their function. Example: Left hand #7. Right hand, Shield orb and release, Flight orb and release, grab the PPO and we now have Battle Cruiser Sydney.
so instead of 6 other orbs with abilities she now has 12.
God mode anybody, luckely she can only hold and activate two.
For Now.
lots of speculation on the 7th orb.
I kinda like a ‘doorway/entrance’ to the orbs systems eg spaceship proper.
Alternatively, could be magical access – but Synney does not know any magic casting does she? rectum repairum!
Bring me my brown orb!
just imagining sydney shipping grakz to a enemy as a “gift”
But grakz is way too spicy that any sane enemy would eat it?
Just label it Elite Exotic Entree no for plebs
Any super villian would go out of their way to eat it even if it’s too hot just to say yes I eat it to becuase I’m better than you.
I don’t think there is a container that could hold grakz that long.
Containment unit 5a
Ment for exotic matter and micro black hole generators
In a pinch it could hold Gratz for a few days
To be fair, Cora said that going in it’s not that bad, so as long as it’s Grakz, and not, shall we say ‘formerly grakz’, it should be fine.
Though, the ‘bag of dog poop on the door-step’ prank takes on a whole new meaning when you feed the dog grakz.
I laughed so hard at this… My first thought was I’m not sure I’d want to try lighting a paper bag with grakz’screnent in it. Then I realized, it would probably be self-lighting.
And, quite possibly, be a self imploding thermonuclear fireball…
If the final orb did help with that, do you think she’d tell anyone, or just pretend it was still undiscovered?
And I forgot to to hit reply on Joe Guy’s comment.
Anything as hot as Grakz would also turn your pee into a glowing stream. This is probably an all-exit-ports 27-alarm emergency.
Side Note: Yeah. If I could make my ass literally radiate light, totally worth a rectal skin graft. Probably a one-off. But, yeah. I’d do it.
Speaking of which, I think Cora underestimated the power of grakz. More like 100x, not 10x.
As a side note, I’m glad I could laugh freely at what Cora is trying to suppress. There are certain advantages on this side of the 4th Wall.
This might have useful, if unpleasant, possibilities. Two explorers lost in a cave:
#1: “We are totally lost and the last of our lights have gone out. How are we going to see to find our way out?”
#2: “I have an idea about that. It won’t be fun, and it will take a few hours to activate. Hand me the food container from my backpack.”
#3: “And if you have breathing filters, start using them now.”
Press F to pay respects to the remains of Sydney’s poor, abused, and currently phosphorescent, heiny.
Solemnly press F.
Pressing F while pinching my nose closed.
Also, trying very hard to NOT recall this quote from Powdered Toast Man:
“It’s packed full of Vitamin F!”
Just pray to whatever you believe in,that Sydney doesn’t pass gas while under then influnce of Grakx!
I wonder if Johnny Cash is playing in the background…
How is like this Fulsom Prison? ;) Of course you could be thinking about this Times Like This one-shot.
” Grakz usually comes with a coupon for a free rectal skin graft. ”
Regular Grakz addicts have Ablative Anus Plating™ installed. At least, those species which don’t already have it installed as per genetic heritage.
She’ll be farting fireballs for days
On second thought, glowing farts sounds like the worst condition for undercover work, especially at night.
Or underwater.
Undercover as a member of an alien race evolved from fireflies
I just about died laughing at that last panel, totally having to fight to keep from breaking out into more laughter it was so perfectly, hilariously written.
You and me both.
Sydney has, in several ways*, been a pain-in-the-ass (of a different sort) for Cora…but I suspect the humor in this literal pain-in-the-ass situation is making up for it, at least a little bit…
(*Having to go out of the way for unspecified recompense (if any; approaching a planet currently under attack by an unkonwn but otherwise clearly civilization-extiction-capable enemy; attempting to find a teeny tiny human on a big giant planet; having to try to track an aetherium rift transit before it closes; trying to find a weirdo human in a gigantic planet-sized verion of an Intergalactic Space Airport; realizing that said puny human has eaten four bowls of grakz, which her ship’s filters & sewage system will somehow have to handle; asking her to take on Alari refugees and transport them to some undisclosed location… Need I go on? These are all potentially aggravating and/or annoying things. They might not be too bad, but they do accumulate even when their effects are mild!)
I think the ship’s sewage system will be fine. Grakz may be hot, but I doubt it’s plasma engine hot. If the nfrastructure of the sewage system is half as tough as that used for the engine, it’ll be fine.
Maxima: “Thank you for bringing Sydney back. I hope it wasn’t too much trouble.”
Cora: “A little trouble but mostly fun.”
Max: “That sounds like Sydney all right.”
Yes, Sydney is NOT the easiest person to be around. Still, somehow you just can’t help but like her. Wonder how she does it.
Well, that would make the “I fart in your general direction” remark from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, a real threath to consider…
I felt like exploding trying not to laugh out loud at work. You’ve made my day, thank you!
You’ve obviously never played in a table-top Superhero-RPG where one of the player’s characters had the power of Combat Flatulence, have you? Yeah, sometimes gaming sessions get a little weird here.
0.o
As the game eventually turned out, that’s the same character that caused the entire civilized world to outlaw vigilantism in general & exile a single person forever from any contact with other human beings.
Mystery men
Nuff said
Lmao reminds me of a session of mutants and masterminds. On of my friends was Captain Cropduster,
He accidentally killed 8 villains in a small underground room with a fart attack ment for outdoor use. An attack with a 60 meter radius confined in one tiny room. Baaaad enough that I yelled tactical nuke incoming when he did it….which then devolved into napalm jokes and gas chamber references from everyone else as the body count rose…we accidentally killed a lot of villains that session omg…only the ninja survived but that’s because he crit failed on stealth roll.
“I cast Typhoow.”
The dialog of the last panel implies the Sydney has, in fact,
joined the Parsec High Club.
Please note the red light coming out from under the door in panel 4. I don’t think the lights are on in the room………..”butt” the afterglow………..
I did note those, but also that this spaceship has doors with wide enough gap to the floor that you can see light shining through them.
I would have thought you’d make any doors in a spaceship close air tight – so after impacts/conflicts you’d decrease depreasurized area as much as possible.
No doors can keep grakz farts out.
Restrooms need ventilation. But realistically that restroom is attached to a bedroom that also has ventilation ducts. In a space ship of size you would have modules that seal off and then you have E-fields )hard light ( that enclose gaps in an emergency.
Emergency airtight seals that require both power and working technology may not be the best idea. Ask Cave Johnson about that.
I’n a story I’ve been writing for the last decade or two, they have rubbery membranes hidden in the mouldings around doorways. These are held in place by electric locks and in the cae of a power loss they will snap out from the mouldings and cover the doorway. They overlap and have a sticky side, so they’ll hold together in oder to hold up to a pressure differential.(Don’t expect it to hold for long against a solid vacuum.)
These are on both sides of the wall, and they’re transparent, so in an emergency they can be used as some sort of very, very snug airlock… unless you get stuck.
(The sliding door that is usually in the doorway can be handcranked out of the way. )
If the power is used to prevent the door from closing properly with a simple purely mechanical autonomous device primed to close it in case of sudden power shortage/surge – or, better yet, with just a design feature that will seal the door the moment power is not applied to it, then such gaps might’ve been left intentionally. See older subs, with hermetic doors deliberately open most of the time to equalize pressure through the sub.
I suppose any sufficiently advanced civilization should be capable of reinforced bulkheads everywhere, but that isn’t generally how that works. Look at the cargo bay/refugee quarters, for a start.
I served on nuclear submarines, three of them the then state-o-the-art Franklin class. 425 feet long, divided into just six watertight compartments. Not sixteen, six. There were good reasons for not dividing it into more WT spaces, and the services that passed through those boundaries all had isolations capable of withstanding great (relatively) depths.
The doors internal to such compartments were more like privacy screens, thin and flimsy and not intended to be watertight. Sydney’s guest quarters and especially the integral rest room have no need for airtight or vacuum tight designs. On a ship where mass is a concern (not Cora’s ship, obviously), interior walls and doors might be more like older Japanese building, mostly paper. Given the wiring and piping needs, they are more likely to be thin sheet metal to “hide” and protect infrastructure.
To be fair, the door did have gaskets before Sydney blew hers.
HELP!
can’t
type…
too busy
DYING
of
LAUGHTER!!!!
help me!
Yes, I too Laughed Out Loud & Rolled On The Floor at this one.
Anyone who has experienced hemorrhoids would probably sympathize with the pain she must be going through. I count my blessings I’ve not had to deal with such unpleasant aspects.
Or worse, 10 alarm chili with hemorroids…
Fabbing her whole new set of glasses and playing with “specs” (unintended pun) of same.
Like my bored Tech post suggestion (in the Laundry) making upgrades on her armor and uniform.
What is bored Cora doing to her glasses? Inset vid screen capability? Scan overlays (which might be redundant with her sensor orb later…) or a boring rebuild with clear-steel or sapphire ?
Having glasses with built in utilities would make having glasses not seem like such a pain in the ass.
As a longtime wearer of glasses, I would forego any and all built in utilities for greater durability instead. Fewer breaks and/or scratching of lenses would be stupendous.
After more than a half century I have learned to keep glasses from getting broken.
I want glasses that teleport to me when I misplace them or leave them in the bathroom after my shower.
Cora meets Maxima and tells this particular story- they will instantly bond.
Then Dabbler will find out, but in an unusually out of character moment, will be totally sympathetic with Sydney because she too ate Grakz once, and even her unusual background didn’t protect her from the aftereffects.
Actually I could see Dabbler doing that.
Dabbler: “She said the ship didn’t have any ice cream to soak your butt in, didn’t she?”
Halo: “Yeah.”
Dabbler: “She was lying. I saw her eating it after I left the bathroom. She loves ice cream.”
She has her own Häagen-dazs room, with a special section devoted to chocolate-based variations, which is second in size to the glorontz-based section. If you had every been to Tereck Seven, you would understand why glorontz is so awesome.
Okay, I laughed way harder than I expected to at this. I’m not sure how you communicate comedic timing through text, but it’s definitely working here.
Sydney can’t figure out an alien space ship…!
Hey, a few more servings of grakz, and our protagonist would be able to opt into ability branch that would allow her to fly without using the Flight Orb!
I mean, being a living rocket and using your… newly acquired ability to produce sufficient jet force to lift off in a cloud of post-digestive phospho-luminous particles is a bit clunkier than a handy inertialess drive that moves things by rewriting their velocity stat on the informational sub-layer of reality – but, hey! – she will be able to use Forcefield and Pewpewer simultaneously all while being able to execute control over her flight patterns!
But think of the environmental damage. Too much grakz fart could turn a town into a radiated wasteland full of horrible grakz mutants.
Hmm, you know. That would explain where I grew up. Why I prefer crawfish boil that hits harder than mil-spec pepper spray, chili best served in lab grade pyrex disposable bowls.
I’m sure you will use your grakz mutant powers responsibly.
Of course the government would make Sydney stop using that particular method of flight. There’s a reason NASA uses baffling & shielding wherever they expect to be igniting a rocket, after all. Sydney just might be able to come up with the appropriate NASA-level shielding & baffling in a way that’s portable, but she’d also probably have to have to include radiation sheilding.
Try searching for “Project Orion” or “Orion Drive” sometime. Basically, build a big, thick, sturdy plate with good radiation shielding – then light off atomic bombs underneath to kick it in the direction you want to go.
If you ignore worries about above-ground atomic blasts, it’s surprisingly workable.
Or read Footfall by Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle. Or read Fallen Angels by Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle and Michael Flynn. Or read King David’s Spaceship by Jerry Pournelle.
Wait – Fallen Angels doesn’t use an Orion. But read it anyway.
Using grakz-propulsion while using the forcefield would require expelling grakz by-products in a small, enclosed environment.
If she had the forcefield up, she would be trapped inside it with the…grakz-based propellant.
Is she fabbing a new set of glasses for Sydney?
Yep. Well presumably anyway, I doubt anyone else needs new glasses but with that many refugees you never know.
I suspect she’s making glasses out of material that won’t melt in corrosive grakz fumes.
Love the title!
I get the same effect from White Castle. That’s right, White Castle gives me red asshole for four days. *shudder*
Sounds like you’re doing it wrong…
yeah.
Think you take it out of the wrappings first before using them as an enema.
Cora looks really cute here. I like this a lot better than the sexy tight space suit thing. She has a much more natural kinda beauty without it.
Agreed – she looks like an actual person instead of a caricature / stereotype now. Between seeing her “dressed down” and her interactions with Sydney, she’s actually starting to get some depth.
Kind of reminds me of the scene with Vale chilling and watching cartoons.
It’s a good look, I agree…but I absolutely loved the naga with the tread scales, too.
Well, since no one else seems to have said it yet…
Grakz has been declared an interstellar weapon of ‘ass’ destruction in twelve systems…
Ba-dum-tsssss…
I think you meant “Da bum tssssss”.
poor Syd’s gonna be teased with “rump roast” jokes from now on.
Sydney’s gonna order this stuff now every time she’s offplanet, you know. Because it’s now been written in the book. I dunno which side, though.
both sides. and double listed. (tasted good going down.)
Regarding “MassFab”, (just one bit of not ignoring it!) I admit a little disappointment that it’s not using some sort of symbols that’re a reference to another media, like Deus’s swords.
On first glance I misread it as “MissMab”, thinking something among the lines of ‘strange flex, but ok’.
Oh, good; I wasn’t The only one, then.
To be honest, that printer looks like something that may be from JyCorp product lines, so…
Written somewhere in the back pages
You get bonus geek points for ‘turn on your fart light’. Because seriously, how many people actually remember that song? :D
Know the song well! Although I have the advantage of being a 61 year old music freak helps.
I’m not sure when Neil Diamond recorded the song, but I know that it was used for advertising the movie “E.T.” and I used to hear it all the time on AM radio. I’m only 42, so you don’t have to be an old music freak to catch the reference. ;)
A quick search reveals that it was recorded in 1982 and was inspired by the movie “E.T.”. Amazing what you can learn in 10 seconds.
“Turn On Your Love Light” is a rhythm and blues song recorded by Bobby Bland in 1961.
https://youtu.be/StdN_CiCNS4
*Raises hand*
And, while the whole comic had me chuckling, I genuinely laughed out loud for a good while when I hit the title at the bottom.
SYYYD-neeeee… you don’t have to put out the fart light….
I can’t help but Wonder just what type of the Afterglow Sydney wants Frix to remember her by. I love how Cora is so flat out honest she doesn’t say I’m not laughing at you she says I’m trying really hard not to
SNERK!
If Cora can’t laugh at Sydney’s predicament … Then I will … for her.
LOL!
or would that be … LLLLLOL!
You know … a good laugh with multiple ‘Haa’.
Haa-Haa Haa Haa (snort) Haa Haahaahaahaahaaaa!
…wait, WHAT “third seashell”? What seashells in the first place?! I NEED EXPLANATIONS!
It’s a reference to Demolition Man
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7nFEnFtvCM Here you go.
Seashells are small shells with microscopic sea inside.
The more you know! *STAR*
And in Xanth seashells are used instead for glasses.
Just don’t cross over to Mundane territories into The Demolition Man time period.
now i’m picturing Grundy in demolition man….. they gonna run out of paper.
The My Ass is on fire song by Mr.Bungle. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18wHoMOBPh4
Watch the movie “Demolition Man ” . Stallone can explain their use : )
No, he can’t.
He never found out how to use them. In one scene he ended up swearing multiple times so that automatic ticketing machine would write out enough ticket to use as TP
He ended the movie by asking Sandra Bullock how to use them.
Why is she asking for a poet?
To write her lament I suppose.
Here lies Sydney Scoville,
Of granz she ate her fill.
She made quite the fuss,
When it burned out her anus.
And the bathroom is a toxic spill.
A poet to describe the event properly – for only a poet of great talent would be able to find appropriate words for it.
A medic – to prevent poet from fainting from inspiration overload – for poets are gentle and effete beings, and wouldn’t be able to withstand such powerful flow of muse.
A priest – to exorcise her ass.
Because that shite is unholy, and somebody must do something about it.
Possible poets to call:
Edgar Allen Poo
Elizabeth Barret Brown Note
‘TP’ Elliot
Percy Flush Shelly
and of course, Robert ‘BURNS!”
I see you’ve done that voodoo of doo doo that you do so well.
Well I think Stephen King would be a great canidate:
Call it “The shining #2”
Why wouldn’t you when presented with a glowing backside? I just want to know why Sydney’s legendary profanity generator hasn’t kicked in with the floating embers of her ass filling the room.
She’s afraid of what would happen if she mixed the Blue (swear) Air with the Red (arse plasma) Air :P
That’s only two colors, so I sincerely doubt it’d make the room Go To Plaid. (https://youtu.be/JBVqygvinzw when Spaceball One accelerates past Light Speed and Hyper Speed to Ludicrous Speed)
“My God! It’s full of farts!”
I would think in a place with the ability to make effectively solid items out of hard light all the rooms would be rather stark and bare chambers, with only the vital things like controls being physical items. The occupants could then fabricate whatever decorations and furnishings they wanted.
Seems like that is what happened
Food so spicy your rectum becomes a flamethrower is the kind of spicy I look for in spicy Asian cuisine.
Wow………..just…………..Wow!
I remember in Farscape that little kleptomaniac/deposed king dude pissed fire.
I’ve always wanted to see a show where they were blatant about things being in our language(s) for our benefit – like, it’s a perk of the show, and not at all representative… so you end up with the translator/archeologist staring at a wall of plain English trying to decipher it.
Thank you daveB you took a crappy morning and brought me more LAUGHTER then i have had in months.. Luckly all my co wokers are not in office yet or they may have started worrying about my sanity..
On a side note is Cora making new glasses for sydney? she had them when she was in med bay but has’t since.
Well, unlike Cora, I may shamelessly admit that I’m not trying to supress it.