Grrl Power #480 – No relation to Captain Caveman
So if I recall, the passage I misread which inspired the idea for Elsbeth was something like the character opens her spellbook and pulls something out of it. It turned out to be something you could reasonable expect to keep in a book though, like a bookmark or a warrant or something, but my mind went to, well, what you see on the page here.
Actually my initial idea for Ellie was that she could pull basically anything out of her book, assuming that at least 2 dimensions of it fit within one of those pages. Then as I was writing the page I realized I needed to limit that ability slightly, cause what would keep her from pulling out the Wand of Orcus or some other game ender right away? Or, I don’t know, all the individual parts she needs to build a nuke or whatever. So she does have some significant limitations, or rather, the book does. I’ll get into those as she continues to appear in the comic. Regardless, she’s pretty handy to have around. The one thing I’ll say is that it does have to be a real thing that actually exists, but in a world of superheroes, magic, aliens, demons and epimeliads, that’s not much of a limitation.
I don’t know why I gave her multiple braids, but I guess they’re not so hard to draw. Maybe Sydney will have a french braid in the next arc.
Also, as I was drawing this page it occurred to me that there’s virtually no chance that Gault wouldn’t be walking around without some basic adventurer gear on him, including a mana potion or two of his own, but I guess he was busy preparing the report on the situation with the Sigils and left his mage overcoat in his other magic closet portal or however he got here.
Be sure to check out Wearing the Cape: Team-Ups & Crossovers. Sydney’s first Crossover! I’ve made a dedicated blog post for it, please comment there.
Double res version will be posted over at Patreon. $1 and up, but feel free to contribute as much as you like :)
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That’s a very handy book…
No, the very handy book is another book. That one… Let’s just say they keep it in the locked cages, and tell any succubi who ask for it ‘it is checked out’.
Spellbook of Holding
It strikes me as being more like a GURPs magical item. A colouring book, with a different item depicted on each page. If you colour in a page, tear it out and throw it to the ground, it will turn into the item depicted. Be it a sword, a cottage or a treasure chest.
It was designed as an innocuous means of smuggling combat/survival gear, in an emergency. In contrast to the ‘bag of holding’ though is it only created the items temporarily (24 hours, if I recall correctly). As opposed to storing them until needed.
Adapting it for use in D&D would make it good for potions with an instantaneous effect (like healing and neutralise poison), as it does not matter if the ingredients vanish from the patient’s system, after they are cured.
Incidentally, each page could only be used the once. Plus colouring them in, but not making use of them, just wasted the magic. The colouring substitutes for casting the spell, and the tearing out is the final part of the magic. Interrupt it, and the spell fails automatically. So no cutting down on the casting time, by colouring them in, in advance.
Your description reminds me of the Robe of Useful Items, which comes covered with a series of single-use patches that, upon removal, transform into one of a series of objects (or creatures) ranging from lanterns and bags of gold to live riding horses and holes dug on the ground.
Had that in a game set in a desert world… dropped a boat down a ladder onto some VERY surprised people chasing me.
The Naruto character Sai has the ability to draw images of animals on a magical scroll and then animate the drawings into 3D for a short period, often for attack. A sub-type of the spell sends an ink creature to spy on someone. Then, when it returns to the scroll, all conversation it has heard is written back onto the scroll. https://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Super_Beast_Imitating_Drawing
Sounds similar to some evil knob in that Elektra movie, except his were tattoos on his body
Or the tattoo artist in Misfits who could put tattoos on people that would affect them.
Not as good as the artist, in Dallas, who can create super-powered people, by drawing them.
Gee, I wonder if it’s anybody we know…
:P
And there was Green Lantern (Hal Jordan)’s recurring opponent ‘the Tattooed Man’…
Penny Crayon, though her power was in the magic crayons rather than a book.
In Champions, this would be a seriously powerful Variable Power Pool.
Making a few assumptions here, but…
Advantages on the Control Cost -Total AD: +1.5 AD
+1 AD – No Skill Check Required
+1/2 AD – Move Action to Change Powers (See the Gestures Limitation below)
Limitations on the Control Cost – Total LIM: -2 LIM
-1/2 LIM – Obvious Inaccessible Focus (Book is clearly the source of her powers but being Chained to her is Inaccessible [can’t be removed from her by running past and grabbing it]) and all Powers Manifest must also have this LIM (they do exactly what they appear to do, they can be taken from the user if manifested but can be dismissed by the character by switching the power).
-1/4 LIM – Gestures To Change Powers / Activate Powers (She has to flip the pages)
-1 LIM – Single Power Only at Any Given Time (Some GMs might give more, some less, for this LIM – It appears limited enough as shown in this page to be a -1 LIM. Of course, given the tremendous, nay, HUGE data set, I reserve the right to adjust later).
-1/4 LIM – No Specialized Items / Only Generic Items as per dictionary definitions (No “named” items; only “generic” items – some might call this a 1/2 LIM, but I’m erring on the side of “still a hell of a lot of options here” ).
Once had a player who wanted to play a character who was very good at sleuthing and could generate trope-detective-equipment at will. Thus was born Overcoat, whose shapeshifting powers allowed him to take on the form of any literary or media detective and gain their equipment (the Overcoat itself also acted as a force field). Down side – the detective mimicked MUST wear an overcoat and some form of hat themselves (thus neatly removing Batman from the list, per the player’s wishes). He was great out-of-combat, but his ability to summon at most a 1.5d6 Physical Ranged Killing Attack made him weak in combat (he was, however a crack shot, so he spwent a lot of time surprising Martial Artists).
At one point, the group was getting absolutely clobbered in a fight, and Overcoat was doing his impression of potted flower. The player said to me, “I need a great weapon – I want to reach into my overcoat and just grab the biggest weapon I can find.” I said, “Okay, roll 3d6. Hmm, that’s a 4. Okay, you reach in and you pull out .. well… you’re not sure what it is. It’s pretty clearly a gun, but it’s about a meter long, definitely requires two hands to use, and looks pretty futuristic.” The player blinked and said, “Okay, on my next action, I point it at the bad guy and shoot.” He was moderately shocked when a beam of brilliant crimson energy streaked out of the gun and I told him to roll 5d6 damage. The campaign limit for damage was 60 Active points – a 5d6 Kill is 75 Active Points.
The fun part was when the fight was over and the group noticed the stunningly beautiful Asian woman with legs from here to Paris, hip length silky black hair, and a body that wouldn’t quit, wearing a beige overcoat over a silver lamé bikini and an oversized fedora, holding a meter-long energy weapon. And not one of Overcoat’s known forms were anywhere to be seen. One player started laughing, then another, while the rest of the group was very, very confused.
Only those two players had seen the episode of The Dirty Pair – excuse me, Lovely Angels – that I hd seen and recognized Yuri. And yes, I already had the write-up ready, and no, it didn’t matter what the Skill Roll was – the first time the player asked “I want the BIG ATTACK™”, this was what he was going to get.
The player had the character be so mortified about turning into a female that he only ever used it again but once.
So Excalibur is not in the book, but claymore would be. Minuteman Missile is out, but anti-aircraft missile is available, so long as it can fit through the opening.
Anti-aircraft missile, yes. But it would have to be one of the hand-held varieties. All the vehicle mounted ones, when you include the launcher and power source and control systems would be way too big.
She also gets hand-held anti tank weapons though. And man-portable gatling guns and mortars.
Not to mention field artillery. With one great advantage, she can make up a field piece which is bigger than her normal limit! Simply because some of those are designed to break down into small parts, so they can be transported by hand (or by mule) and reassembled at the destination. Provided Elsbeth is up to the task of rapidly assembling it, on the battlefield.
Plus there is the ultimate advantage, a never ending supply of the ammo of your choice!
Finally you can get some nifty executive toys, such as fold-out suitcase motorbikes. Or do the same assembly trick, provided you choose a model that is easily put together, without a workshop. And making sure that the fuel tank, and other bigger parts, do fit through the book. Or go magical and unroll your flying carpet (much more comfortable than a broom).
I do not think you would get any torpedoes though.* Underwater she would have to make do with harpoon guns
* Going by the ‘it must exist rule’ and limiting it to stuff we know about. Obviously if one of those alien races (maybe the aqua-men) have hand held torpedoes, then she whip out her scuba gear, from the book, grab her weapon and go sub hunting!
When people have ‘use other people’s powers’ powers, I always wonder if fanfiction counts, or how many views/purchases something needs to be validated. Why couldn’t you just draw a picture of a hero you just came up with and gain those abilities?
That happened in Charmed, once. Not a very good episode, though.
Were any episodes any good? o_O
Or draw the picture and get the hero manifested to help you in person: If you haven’t yet read ‘Galatea in 2-D’, by Aaron Allston, then I recommend it to you…
That is assuming that this book creates things instead of just storing things that are put into the book.
And you are assuming that there is a limit to the amount it can store. :-P
Presumably, the book, when open, must have sufficient surface area to permit the object to slide out – so a howitzer is probably right out
Indeed. Plus it would fall foul of whatever restriction Dave has in mind to stop part-by-part assembly:
Although I will be interested to see how Dave handles that one, as I think it would be extremely hard to stop assembly of something like a howizer. Even if the book only works on “a single item” then you can still order up a “howizer barrel of X caliber, with part number YYYYY”. Likewise each of the other bits, just by working your way through the relevant service/assembly manual.
So I am guessing that it has a clause to the effect of “which must be an object with a dictionary-defined name”. So whilst “assault rifle” can be found in a dictionary (e.g. Wiktionary), you would need an encyclopedia (eg Wikipedia) to find a specific make and model.
Although you might find very common ones, especially those which are considered synonymous with the general term. E.g. “Kalashnikov” is likely to be in many dictionaries and could be used if wanting to get an AK47 assault rifle. A further restriction may be that it requires a specific dictionary, or with those matching a defined set (e.g. “publicly available”).
Therefore the particular weapon that Elsbeth drew out may have been a random one (assuming it creates them), from the class of commonly available assault weapons. Or, if she needs to put in the items, which she subsequently wants access to, it may randomly choose amongst the ones matching the definition, if she put more than one assault rifle in.
Plus, of course, if she tried to put in an item which did not have a dictionary definition in its own right (e.g. “howitzer barrel” has two separate words, and does not have an entry for the two combined) then the book would not make a space for it. Whereas “assault rifle” is a common enough term to have its own definition.
And, of course, even if you do have a part that has a common term “e.g. gunsight”, if you are unable to specify a particular make and model, then each of the component parts you summon. out of the book, might be for different machines, and therefore be incompatible with one another.
The final point being easily solved if putting the parts in, but being a significant problem if the book is creating (or ‘borrowing’) the things that come out of it.
The Tales of the Floating Vagabond has an “overcoat schtick” that is a variant on this. The character with this schtick wears an overcoat, of course, and if someone else says “if only we had a ____” (for any item a person could reasonably carry) there’s a good chance the overcoat guy will pull it out of his overcoat.
I think it was Michael Moorcock who came up with a power that allowed you to reach into another dimension and grab an item of the type you desired. The rarer the thing being requested, the harder it being to find it. As per (again) the GURPs rules for the power. A big diamond is easy. A green one, as big as the largest ever found, may take hours. Whereas wanting it in the shape of a typewriter, may prove to be too difficult to find.
Yeah, I’m familiar with the GURPS version of the power. It’s in the Time Travel sourcebook, which covers game rules for time travel & cross-dimensional travel as well. basically, the Grabber power involves reaching into other dimensions, but doesn’t allow for any kind of personal travel in either direction.
It’s in Zelazny’s ‘Amber’ books (and the spin-off RPG), as a power that characters from the Courts of Chaos gain after doing their equivalent of Amberites’ “walking the Pattern”.
In one of my noir RPG groups, we had a standing ‘ability’ where anyone wearing a trenchcoat or other long overcoat could pull out any object which was not game impactful and could reasonably have been assumed to be somewhere ‘around’. This was actually a specific and humorous extension of the rule that players could make various reasonable assumptions about their environment to prevent the GM from having to describe every little detail.
It became a bit of a running joke that any time the NPCs started into exposition someone would pull a couch of their coat for everyone to sit on while they waited.
“Is that a canoe in your trenchcoat, or are you pleased to see me?”
“Um, actually it is a couch.”
“A couch in your crotch?”
“No, inside left pocket, but it is really big.”
“That reminds me of a time when…”
“Hold on a sec, I just net to erect my couch.”
net = need
Although I have no idea how that typo occurred, it was not an auto-correct thing.
I must admit I’m curious – did this convention become instituted before or after the Highlander TV series?
::watches as a 1.6 meter human pulls a 2 meter sword out of her overcoat::
Oy, I’m on board with that – actual conversation in a game:
GM: “As usual, there are very high, thin white clouds overhead, but as you move further north, one of the clouds catches your attention – it looks a little off. After a half hour of walking, it becomes clear that this is smoke, not clouds. You can just barely see the smoke rising from the horizon.”
Player: “What color are the clouds?”
GM: “As I said before, the clouds are the usual thin wispy clouds you always see in this area.”
Player: “No, I meant what color is the smoke.”
GM, after blinking a moment: “White – possibly light grey. It’s a bit hard to tell at this range, but the smoke does blend into the clouds.”
Player: “So the smoke isn’t black?”
GM: “No, I believe black clouds would look quite different from white clouds.”
Player: “So. white clouds, not black like storm clouds.”
GM: “Yes. Considering you’ve never seen a storm cloud above this particular desert, ever, I felt that didn’t need to be pointed out.”
Player: “And not black like smoke from an oil fire.”
GM: “Again, the smoke that you confused with a white cloud initially has not ever been nor has it changed from the thin wispy white color you initially saw.”
Player: “What’s causing the smoke?”
GM: “At the moment, you cannot determine what is causing the smoke.”
Player: “So we can assume it’;s not an oil fire?”
GM: “You may assume anything you like. However, confirmation of your assumption will require actual investigation.”
Player: “But an oil fire would produce black smoke…”
GM: “Considering your character has never seen any type of oil except plant-based oil, I’m not sure how he would know that crude oil or petroleum burns black, but, again, you may assume that if you like.”
Player: “Oh, so it’s a plant-based oil fire.”
GM, beginning to los patience: “Again, you may assume anything you like, but as you cannot see the fire from which the smoke presumably is rising as it is far, far away and not seen by your character, you cannot, at this time, confirm your hypothesis, worthy though it is”
Player: “Wait, there’s no fire that we can see?
GM: “Not from your current vantage point, no – perhaps it might become visible if you get closer.”
Player, no longer listening to the GM: “Okay guys, what gives off smoke without creating fire?”
Lesson: Where there’s smoke, there’s a dangerous creature who creates smoke without flames rather than a fire.
Heh. Sounds like an example of that old phrase about ass-uming too much.
:)
Gurps has a similar ability for use by Gadgeteer-type characters. Essentially, it’s the use of Gizmos; the ability reach into any container (pants pocket, trenchcoat pocket, trunk of your car, etc.) & pull out any object that would normally fit into that container in the first place. The Gadgeteer could leave the item undefined up until the time they want to grab it & it could be any object that already exists or that they have already invented or built before.
A Gadgeteer with the Gizmo enhancement with a portable hole (or some other 4-dimensional storage space) can be a very dangerous person to deal with, especially in a Cinematic Rules campaign…
O.o
Naw, it’d be getting cleaned. Blasted pages are always getting sticky…
Book/portable hole.
Like the TARDIS, that book is bigger on the inside.
Those last 2 panels made me laugh.
Do not let Ellie into the TARDIS. Bad things happen when two dimensionally transcendental objects are placed inside each other.
Elsbeth: Doctor, what is that deep load bell? Why is it ringing?
Doctor: Um, Just exactly what kind of book is this anyway?
The TARDIS has had other TARDISes inside of it with no ill side effects. The only time it became an issue is when the Doctor’s TARDIS was inside the Doctor’s TARDIS. It created a causal loop, like some kind of TARDIS powered ouroboros. The problem was fixed in short order, however.
Yep, I remember Me’s TARDIS dropping off the Doctor’s TARDIS to the Doctor.
There were problems when the Master parked his TARDIS inside the Doctor’s. It created a nasty gravity bubble.
Interestingly, if you go by strict Rules As Written then the only problem interactions are Bags of Holding and Portable Holes. There’s a mention in Rope Trick about putting one ED space into another ED space, but it’s a vague bit of fluff and no crunch.
I researched this pretty thoroughly for when I was creating the city made up entirely of 50,000 nested Portable Holes.
I see a hole in your plan.
A whole lot of them.
Sounds more like “a hole lot of them” to me…
Talk about digging yourself in a deeper hole, huh?
;)
I hope you two figure it out before you shovel off this mortal coil.
How many holes in Blackburn Lancashire?
Four thousand on the 17th Jan 1967.
And though the holes were rather small
They had to count them all
And now we know how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall.
Apparently, some holes require more than one seat, which accounts for the remaining 1,272 seats left over.
Is she playing the Pictionary game?
In reverse. Instead of drawing a picture and guessing the name, you find the name and draw out the item.
She could really cheat in Twister. Can’t get her left hand to yellow? No problem, just draw out a portable tunnel,* out of the book, lay it against any interposing body and reach through to the yellow target.
* They do exist, I have seen that nice coyote, on in the nature documentaries, using them!
I prefer magnetic bird seed.
You’re not Thermian, are you?
They don’t require hands, paws would do. Alas I am not proficient.
So, would that make you… antificient?
Am I the only one who’s surprised that isn’t already a word?
Ah, those programs keep showing how man has manipulated the environment. The road runner was around a long time before humans built roads through its habitat. After that, the evolution to a specialist speedster can be directly attributed to these changes to its environment made by human interference.
The hole in that book TOTALLY doesn’t look like a penis.
Nope, nothing to see here.
Well it does contain a gun shaped like a dick so I guess it’s inevitable. As if guns were not phallic enough without those double drum magasines. Freaud would have loved that. On the other hand; sometimes a acrotum shaped magasine is just a magasine.
What, you have never heard of ‘gun nuts’?
I need to learn to spellcheck before I post.
I think that’s The Patriot, the gun The Boss has during the game Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater.
I’m guessing it’s a SCAR-L
What they really need is the BFG.
She is still digger her way out of a collapsed tunnel.
I’m pretty sure if you were to flip through to its corresponding page you’d find it listed. LOL
Well, someone else mentioned the word ‘bibliophile’, lower down in the comments…
Well, someone else mentioned the word ‘bibliophile’, lower down in the comments…
…And then she cocked her rifle. Assault rifle, ifyouknowwhatimean…
That is a wholly inappropriate comment! Next you will be coming up with religious jokes, just so that you can be holy controversial. And, if Elsbeth draws some festive greenery out, and puts it under someone’s bum, that would be a holly pain in the bum hole.
Elisbeth has been named. Shoudn’t she be on Who’s Who?
Here, here! (You beat me to it.)
Yup, I added the badge but forgot to set up the tag for the widget to grab. She’s there now.
Again, should used the image from the previous page
Naa, whilst that one is fine, in context, it is not so good for a long-term representation. It would make her look like a blow-up doll!
And this one looks like she has a white booger coming out of her nose
Heh, not at that angle, in my opinion.
The speech bubble layer should be easy for DaveB to remove, if he wants to tweak that.
What? You’ve never just blew your nose right out onto the ground before? Do you always use tissues or handkerchief, even if there’s no one around to see you do it the messy way?
A gentledog always uses his kerchief or a tissue! In extremis, a country gentledog can use a broad-leafed weed, such as a dock leaf. But not a stinging nettle!
Ow. That hurts just thinking about it.
Hopefully, the country gentledog also can tell which leaves not to use, like poison ivy or poison oak.
O.o
If it has “poison” written on it, at all, I would not use it. Likewise if it had the skull and crossbones symbol.
*wags tail wisely*
Dock leaves are also useful as emergency ‘toilet paper’.
Some day you’ll automate the cast page. And update it.
Damn do I want that book.
Is it creating things, or stealing them from somewhere?
I wouldn’t be too surprised if it has a similar limitation to the paper-storage Stand from a recent episode of Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure—anything she can pull out of it has to be put in first.
You put an object in the book, then write the index entry. It is a database of things.
Oh, yet another limitation, then – the character has to actually have access to the item in order for it to be loaded into the book.
Paper version of hammer space, complete with hammer…
So she could draw out a vacuum then.
Panel 9….
A bendy straw with TWO elbows??
What sorcery is this???
The convenient kind, obviously.
;)
Yours don’t?
WHo needs bendy straws? Straight up bit of flexible tubing is what I use! :D
Two single-elbow bendy straws, one poked into the other?
That works. It was also my idea as well.
Not when I do it :(.
I got obsessed with that when i was a kid – use the more rigid, circular ones.
Elisbeth is always prepared.
Ah, so SHE’S the one who gets to throw the book at the mannequins of death….
Not with that chain around her waist, she doesn’t.
she’s just doing it a page at a time. more effective that way.
I wonder, does the book give Elsbeth what she wants, or what it thinks she needs?
Probably literally what the word/definition says. So the question is: Does she know to ask/search for the correct thing?
Ah, but if she is like me when I go through a dictionary or occasionally a library (though public ones aren’t nearly worth the bother like one at a college) some times you are looking for a word, but you don’t know what that word is and barely vaguely have a clue of the meaning and then “WHA-BOOM” you’ll find a word…a perfect word you did not know or knew you needed. Like onager.
Speaking of which, when doing a crossword puzzle, do not google for the answer to the clue “wild asian ass.”
Done that, didn’t know it could be a crossword clue though. Was very disappointed…
Man, all my results were all SFW nature documentary type stuff. I clearly have not been checking out enough porn, if Google is so unaware of what I would have rather seen.
Yep! So disappointed…
Try searching with BING. You’ll find all the porn.
Tried Bing… Still very disappointed…
Try “crossword clue” “wild asian ass” instead.
actually, it’a apparently become so common for people to use “wild asian ass” to look for the crossword puzzle answer, that image search now only returns pictures of the animal.
Or at least that’s what happened to me just now.
Unfortunately.
Dammit.
I’m quite sure that will be one of the “limitations” that Dave is talking about in his authors blurb.
Knowing what you are looking for isn’t as much of a restriction as many would think, at least, not for those who finish High School and know what a dictionary is
That would be almost useless for my wife. She has a hard time finding nouns.
Just show her this.
There is one thing that will not appear, on demand. Even though it could fit.
Honey badger.
The trick would be to pull that out of the book without getting your face torn off in the process…
O.o
I don’t see why that would be all that difficult.
Every household needs one of these books.
I’m waiting for the Kindle edition.
the Kindle edition needs a hookup to a 3D printer. and takes longer
That version uses a Windows OS of the Home version so it can access the 3D printer. Elsbeth is using the App version which works on (portable) Kindle.
What was that game where you write words to summon objects to solve puzzles? I can’t for the life of me think of it’s title
Scribblenauts.
Thank you, that one. She’s playing Scribblenauts
Scribblenauts (I’ve put it on my phone to play with my nephew, though his every solution to a problem seems to involve many dinosaurs :-) )
Dragons are clearly superior.
This IS a case of the pen beating the sword… if the words written by the pen describes a big enough gun that is! :D
:-D
Or just poke them in the eye with your pen.
The pen is mightier than the sword until you cut off their hands.
Neither is a sword much good after their hands have been cut off.
True, but it is hard to cut off someone’s hands with a pen.
That just takes longer
“a world of superheroes, magic, aliens, demons and epimeliads”
Googles epimeliads..
Protectors of apple trees? Super gardeners?
Googles some more..
Ooh, Dryads. Ok, cool.
Also love Elsbeth’s book (I suspect this was what Adam West’s Bat-Utility belt was made from, “Don’t worry Robin, I’ll use my bat anti-automaton spray!”)
According to wikipedia, they are protectors of apple trees and sheep and goats.
Because the greek word apple also translates to sheep.
So Lamb and Goat ragout in Apple sauce is right out?
Thanks. I needed a good laugh.
Or more correctly Nymphs, (darned googling at 10:20 at night after a few scotches :-) ).
Either way, sounds like Dabbler just got some competition..
She already has an entire race of succubi as competition.
By the way, Epimeliads are introduced in the comic already.
Or actually, in Sydney’s pitch for Supernatural Interpol https://www.grrlpowercomic.com/archives/2288
Attempted pitch….
Not even failures at The Gong Show tryouts got shuffled off-stage as quickly as Sydney did…
O.o
Could be me, but that sounds like a redundancy. An attempted attempt to sell someone something?
Neither is right.
I preferred Bat-Finks system.
I get the impression that Gault does not believe his own statement there.
The one about students who will actually obey him? That’s just a fairy tale master wizards tell themselves. Such students are merely a myth.
Like it’s limited to WIZARDS! All instructors know that students like that are a myth. Someone once said they say one, but it turned out to be a T.A. who misheard the original directions and got confused.
I remember a sign in the chem lab when I was in college that said “Please do not blow up the lab…again”. Since it was an engineering school, the sign was regularly disregarded…
Thought you were going to say: Since it was an engineering school, the sign regularly had to be replaced…
They could have improved the sign with “number of hours since last incident”. It sounds like they would only need to pay for a single digit display.
Put the nitric acid and the glycerin back in the cabinet mister Dragger, that’s a good boy…..
Even Gault isn’t fooled by that fairy tale…He’s referring to a student that would heed (pay particular attention to) what he says, which different from obey (to comply with; following orders).
Severe lack of imagination for Ellie there.
If she can summon everything that exists, and aliens exist, why not summon future weapons?
The book may be limited to either her knowledge or the knowledge of who wrote/enchanted it.
That’s the impression I get too. It’s not limited to “what exists” as much as it would be limited to “what the user knows that exists.” She may even be limited to items that she can understand how it works; if you don’t understand how a particular alien device works (or you don’t even know the name of it), then you can’t get it from the book. Heck, it may even be limited to what language(s) the user knows in order to look up the name of an object.
Didn’t stop Oxenfree from pulling some random (highly conveniently placed) wall ornament and using it to shoot some Dominators in the face
If you’re aware of the existence of Checkov’s gun…
That is wrong. He used a phaser.
Considering it only appeared in the scene when he reached for it Ensign Chekhov had nothing to with it (he was still busy looking for a Newqueer Wessel)
I just assumed you had to put stuff into the book before you could pull it back out. It did appear to be hand written. That takes out all the questions about pulling out things that don’t exist or how accurate your definitions have to be. As long as you insert an object, name it, and define it, you can pull it back out when you need it.
What makes you think the aliens don’t use chemically-powered slug launchers? Dabbler has super-science on her side, but honestly, gunpowder is an effective and cheap weapon system.
Fair point.
But if you want to poke a hole through a mountain, grabbing a copy of her rail gun is a very much more useful option. That would fit through the book, but you would need to get out many millions of tons of gunpowder one small barrel, at a time, to do the same trick. And it would probably require blowing the mountain up, rather than making a neat tunnel! If you wanted to get through it in one blast.
Or you could opt for a suitcase nuke or tactical nuclear warhead. I would advise her to opt for very remote detonation options though.
Um, the fact that they’re alien an therefore their technology must be different? And let’s not even speak of the thought processes (seriously, who the heck sees an explosive and thinks of using it to impulse a metal pellet through a tube?)
Why must be alien technology be different?
“seriously, who the heck sees an explosive and thinks of using it to impulse a metal pellet through a tube?”
The person (or persons) who invented the gun?
The Chinese went hundreds of years without having that idea. Possibly it may never have, despite having both gunpowder, metallurgy, tubes and plenty of need for weapons of war.. Likewise the Aztecs, Incas, et al had the wheel (there are wheeled toys, for example) yet they never took the next step of using it for transportation.
For the latter the mostly inhospitable terrain would have created significant obstacles in proving the worth of such an innovation, even if somebody did have the idea. For the former, possibly it was a cultural inertia thing. However they did otherwise innovate a lot, so it may have boiled down to no one actually both having the idea and being in circumstances where they could put it to practical use.
Of course, once someone has shown the worth of an idea, it can spread throughout the culture. And be improved upon, and lead to other, better inventions. No wheel, no automobile nor many other inventions, which would rely on that. No gunpowder, or other chemical explosives, and there will be no guns.
We live in a highly volotile atmosphere, which easily lends itself to fire and explosion. Aliens which evolved in a more intert environment may not have made use of camp fires, nor developed any branch of chemistry which used fire or explosives. However, to counter that, their society may have had an abundence of some other chemical or an easy way of using a process which would be as basic to them as fire is to us, but which would be impractical on Earth.
Yet, having mastered their arm of chemistry, they could do a whole host of amazing things with it, which we have never even thought of. And why would we? It would not work here, given synthesising the basic components would not be cost-effective, and may well need an isolated environment in order to work.
However, that is looking at each species, in isolation. Amongst a galactic community with dozens or hundreds of races, they would transmit ideas from one culture to another. So whilst several might not have wheels, and others no gunpowder, there will be many who did develop that, and few who would not have access to it.
Whether they need such primitive things though, now that is another matter. Who needs a cart, if every household has a couple of flying carpets? Why bother making guns, if every member of the species could lift a tank, with just their mind?
Who cares about chemistry, if you can skip the boring bits, like heating and fermentation, and just produce the finished product, out of a book? You do not need to learn how to bake, if, on seeing a Black Forest Gateaux, you can just turn to your replicator and tell it to order up more, whenever you fancy some.
Knowing how that works (creating something, from stored energy, atom by atom) is actually the superior technology compared to having the limits of creating things by manipulating heat, pressure and taking advantage of ambient chemical and biological processes.
While those are good reasons why their technology might be different, it fails to answer why it must be different.
Because, Aliens (isn’t that one of the very definitions of an ‘alien’? someone or something that is different?)
Or just flip the page to ‘Deus ex machina’ (solves every problem, but all observers get -2 on initiative for next two rounds due to hackneyed plot device). :-)
Aren’t those three different people here? =^_~=
no, it’s a person (Deus), his scar (an X), and his company (Machina Inc.)
Isn’t there an ARC-Dark agent called X?
Yes, but she is currently Dabbler’s shadow. Boy was she having to dodge fast, to avoid being stabbed by that anti-magic spike, earlier!
The book looks wide enough for a person to crawl through. And Adam was created in God’s image…
Now just make a reaction roll, to see how God will respond to being pulled out of a book!
” Was wondering when you’d get around to this.”
I like to think big. There are all sorts of useful things which would comply with the book’s dimensional limitations.
If you think a human could be pulled out of the book, then surely a dog could as well?
Yorp, this is your chance to finally meet Sydney in person! Just get the book to open to the Y’s and have Elsbeth reach in, grab you by the scruff of the neck and haul you through! Be sure to avoid any Creepy Evil Mannequins who might still be hanging around though.
Yay!
*wraps “handle with care” tape around body”*
Interesting technique, getting a girl to pull me.
**looks down at leg*
Phew, nobody pulling on it.
You sure you want to use “handle with care” tape on fur? Sounds like a recipe for “ouch” to me.
Not if Sydney follows the instructions. :-P
*hastily adds “remove tape by gently soaking in a Jacuzzi, under close personal supervision, until it floats off”*
Could be a alien weapon disguised as a standard gun. You don’t want to show off your nice raygun too much or some kind of alien hunting government agent may drag you away to be probed.
You don’t get probed. You get arrested for using Level 78 technology on a Level 31 world. This involves a big fine and confiscation and destruction of offending technology.
I don’t trust those creepy MiBs with their hypnosis rays. I bet many of them would probe you just because it’s a habit.
“I’d really suggest you don’t attempt to destroy or dismantle that particular device, by the way, as it happens to be from a place and time that’s EXTREMELY paranoid about gun safety”
‘What do you mean?’
“Let’s leave it at saying the planet it was manufactured on still exists, and they haven’t got a clue I took it…yet.”
Either not paranoid enough or not skillful enough, to stop the theft then.
One of my characters was willing to blow up entire heavily populated planets, if an unknown or hostile vessel even approached it, without being destroyed! To ensure that no technology would fall into alien tentacles.
Mind you, if they could get through supernova and black hole attacks, then they probably already have sufficiently advanced technology!
I could really use such a book at lunchtime.
Let’s see.. *flips book* ah, Lasagna!
Oooh, sushi whenever I want…
Infinite curry… *drooooollll*
I think you’d need it to at least alter the recipe once in awhile, though, or you’d get tired of curry
That’s why you have an entire curry section, not just one page.
Cross-indexed. Curry lasagna!
That sounds…
… like quite an interesting possibility, actually.
it could work, I’ve made Chili Lasagna
Psst.
Next time put it in the microwave, on ‘defrost’, for a while, before starting to cook it.
*wags tail conspiratorially*
that’s terrible, you only deserve one box of Yorpie Snax for that
You seem to have a tail wag for every occasion.
Humans have all those facial muscles. I have to make the most of what I can.
*wags tail instructively, like a conductor’s baton*
Damn it yorp, I’m still trying to source the ingredients for your last suggestion. Turns out police pepper spray isn’t allowed to be carried out of hours.
I suspect that it is less that the book is simply powerful enough magic to manifest all the whatevers, and more that it is a conduit, allowing Elsbeth to use easily use her own magics to produce things. A book of templates, perhaps. Turn to definition, pump mana into definition, mana converts to usable physical object.
Of course, being able to make a mana potion raises questions, but then they may not have very much in them. If she is using, say, 20% of her mana to make a few potions (that possibly only drain mana when removed) to restore 15%, it is a net loss, but a means of transferring mana to another.
Also, Having A Bad Day Kat is still adorable.
The mana potion could just be a conveluted spell of transfer mana yes.
I’m more curious what happens to the unused potions when she closes the book again. Are they reabsorbed into their original mana costs? Or is there a net loss there?
It may be a ‘pay upon removal’ gig, like a hotel minibar.
Those things are really highly priced, even if you do just take an individual item. However, if you take the whole thing, you would get a hefty surcharge!
Fortunately there is a much more classy alternative!.
Seriously? Why all those idiots making comments about him being that Lannister guy, are they that stupid or racist to believe all little people look alike? o_O
Because they are indeed idiots.
He has a similar head morphology, but really the similarities end pretty quick. If you hadn’t primed me with your comment on their comments I wouldn’t have seen Tyrion in him at all. So, yeah, I’m going to support Yorp’s statement that they are indeed idiots with a fairly narrow perspective of the world or they are really stretching to try making a lame joke work at all.
Coming to an ATM near you, as well.
At least I didn’t say “an ATM machine”.
ROFL.
I think their voice recognition software needs upgrading. And as for not wearing a hat, whilst repeating “I am wearing a hat”, no wonder she failed to pass as human!
There is also the possibility that each page is single use. Those four mana potions? That’s all it’s got. Might be some way to restore them, but if everything is limited use, then it becomes a lot more manageable.
In RPG terms, she has a MASSIVE array of powers, all with the ‘charges’ limitation, with a single item as the focus, etc.
Could be that she needs some special ritual, involving lots of complicated spells, on a special magical location, to recharge the book.
It could simply be her portal into hammer space….
Or a simple portal into her store of Stuff…. Put something in her room, write it in the book…
put something in the book, it ADDS a definition/ remove it and the definition disappears.
Or remove the item, the definition and space remains, but there is nothing in the hole.
The book of infinity….
… the Never Ending Story, part ∞.
The book is a storage Management System. Anything you put in your storage gets a post in the book. Pull it and all you’ve got is an empty shelf in the warehouse / pocket space / whatever…
If you want to keep it from being totally overpowered that’s one way to do it. Sure it will allow you to have access to lots of stuff, but unless you’ve got the necessary contacts you won’t have much in the way of expensive tools, military hardware, restricted infectious agents or advanced medical equipment or drugs.
This is basically how my gadgeteer character uses a system of portal beacons. Each shelf has a specific id that the portals can be opened to. Open portal next to hand, reach in, grab item off the shelf. Use it, open portal, return item. But if someone goes into your shelving system and moves things around you are screwed.Also, the portal system has a max range of only 7au, so… I’m betting the book is better in an interdimensional situation.
Really want to add Lizzy’s book into my D&D campaign. Very nice magical addition!
Book version of the Robe of Many Things. Could have it where using it requires expening a spell slot, or has single use tear-out pages – Coupon Book of Many Things.
“Dammit, my bow has 30% off!”
Of course they don’t need to know the specific toxin. It’s magic so we don’t need to explain it.
When doctors don’t know the cause of an infection, they also use broad spectrum antibiotics. This is basically the same thing.
Well, antibiotics target a specific class of things. With toxins, it’s a little different. Someone injected with strychnine is going to need different treatment from someone inhaling chlorine, who will need different treatment from someone who drank paint thinner, and so forth.
But we can assume that the potion has a means of identifying and countering common toxic substances, because magic.
Let’s not forget that many common things are toxic in high enough dosages. Drink 3 L of water in under an hour and that will kill you just as effectively as drinking a few hundred millilitres of formaldehyde.
Also, some things are dangerous only when applied by a specific vector, as in rattlesnake venom is effective when injected into the blood stream, but pretty harmless if ingested & processed by your stomach. The problem with injection as a delivery vector is that it’s nearly certain to be harmful, no matter what it is.
If you have an ulcer, drinking snake venom is still a death sentence. Also, most snake venoms are still toxic if your stomach is not protected well enough. Eat a good meal first so that your stomach protects itself. Even still there are several venoms that will kill you when you drink them, such as black mamba. Eastern diamondback venom is usually interpreted as water-dissolved protein complex, so break it down like other proteins.
Hehe this type of comment is why I without fail read the comments on Grrl Power, the sheer number of people who have (or feel a need to find) fairly esoteric knowledge and share it in the comments section is so damn high. It’s great.
Testing of a large random sample of the population shows that humans know the right speed to stroke dogs at, to give them maximum pleasure…
*wags tail, hopefully*
Sorry Yorp, but my dog is the jealous kind, plus nearly Sydney hyper….
*sad puppy eyes*
Maybe a little background music would help?
*ahem* background music….
Between job requirements, a circle of friends with a very broad base of skills, and running RPGs and wanting to know “How exactly does that work, anyways?” when encountering a clunky game mechanic, I’ve found or looked up a lot of essentially useless information.
I suspect that’s a common thing in this community, given how smart it is collectively and individually.
Note to self: Review Black Mamba sauce, not venom.
You know, I have to argue with the 3 liters of water in 1 hour killing you. I know for a fact, from experience, that you can consume far greater amounts than that before it become lethal. I have, on at least three different occasions consumed one or more US gallons (1 US gallon being equal to 3.79 (rounded)) in less than an hour. The most I consumed was 2.5 gallons, and I did feel rather drunk after that. It is called water intoxication and it comes from overhydration. You need roughly somewhere around a minimum of 5 US gallons (18.9 liters (again rounded)) an hour to begin worrying about death from drinking to much water, and that is really hard to do unless something is affecting your body like MDMA or Ecstasy. The reason for that is because while you are drinking water, you body is also forcing it out, one way or another. Now I am not saying that it is fun to drink 3 liters in an hour, but unless you are a small child, it is certainly not lethal.
Saying “I survived this so it is safe” is a good way to kill people, if you do not fact check.
Note that the following contains an assumption, which may not be correct. Plus my method may be flawed, so DO NOT use this to determine a safe level. It is not something that has been tested in humans, because it requires killing people to do it!
The median lethal dose of water, in rats is >90g per kg.
The average weight in the world is 62 kg.
90g x 62kg = 5,580g
5,580g of water = 5.58 litres
Your advice could easily be interpreted by random people on the internet as: “OK I am safe so long as I do not exceed 3 litres in one hour.”.Which, if they participated in a water-drinking competition, and chugged it down as fast as it would go, would kill more than 50% of the people in the world!
A lot more. Not just the infants.
Heh, darn it. I originally calculated it in gallons. Then, double-checking your comment, saw that it was in litres. So adjusted my calculations . But… in checking all the rest was right, I …um… did not compare the totals again.
Abort comment …abort…aaah, I can’t.
*sigh*
As it is magic, it could very easily just be a “Does that belong in her body/match her aura? If no, then remove” sort of spell. The issue with having that sort of thing in non-magic life is the problem with identification and execution, but if it’s merely a matter of ‘get rid of’ then that solves all sorts of problems. Might even work on infections, though those would probably have some Aura bleed-over due to being ‘born’ inside and of the person’s body.
I was just thinking that it’d be embarrassing if that magic antidote also cured lycanthropy.
that would be a magical anti-viral.
All she needed to do was retrieve an item labeled ‘Holy Grail’ and let Kat have a sip from it. That should fix her up in no time. It worked for Indy’s dad.
He was shot with a bullet, not stabbed with who-knows-what toxins
The Holy Grail would cure anything, in the worthy. Being a direct manifestation of God’s power there would be no limit, within its remit.. Including curing disease, poison, injury, radiation damage, old age,or even ophidiophobia (Indiana* could have used a drop).
* The non-canine one.
In past testing, the Holy Grail has even been proven to cure Nazism, though it’s something of a final solution…
Crap, that was the Ark of the Covenant, not the Holy Grail.
Lucy’s cordial from “The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe” may have been a reference to the Grail. I’ve wondered about that but C.S. Lewis’s more scholarly works are.. hard for me to read (Still haven’t felt like I’ve really understood “The Screwtape Letters”).
Given the other manifold references in his works for children, it wouldn’t surprise me. Anyone ever see this point brought out anywhere?
I would hope Lucy is polite. It is children’s entertainment, after all!
Darn, I was just doing a search, for that, before posting my cunning plan. Guess I will have to fall back to plans B & C.
Plan B fails, on investigation. As the minimum dimensions of the Arc of the Covenant are 31″ by 31″, so a bit bigger than the book. :-(
And plan C is much more limited, being only for if the ‘venom’ turns out not to be a poison, but a magical curse. Say one that turns Kat evil. There would only be one solution!
The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch!
Still there is plan D:
The Spear of Destiny
Or plan P
{spoiler] The Pick of Destiny [/spoiler]
Well that was rather embarrassing. =(
*Claps slowly*
That’s why I tend to use copy and (double) paste and add a “/” to the second paste when I want to make spoiler comments. Not that it’s always worked even then, but probably does more often than if I manually typed them out.
Now I wonder if the book replenishes itself or not and how or how quickly. So if you pull all 4 mana potions out. Close it and open it again at mana potion, will it have 4 potions again? bc then I’d just keep opening it up at gold, diamond, titanium etc.
I also wonder if it constantly updates its own vocabulary, or if you need to update it. And if so, where does the definition come from? Obviously it is pretty up to date, as it has assault rifle in it.
There is already someone that has access to unlimited gold reserves. So it wouldn’t be that game breaking to have magic also be able to produce gold.
But it’s probably limited by mana reserves. Either Ellie’s own mana, with the book just being a conduit (https://www.grrlpowercomic.com/archives/2341/comment-page-1#comment-486852), or the book’s own mana.
Yeah, that is what I was thinking.
Maybe the book has a Djinn bound into it, who is actually producing the items on demand?
You think she is a slaver? :-O
Well, she does have the book in chains…
::scampers off before he gets caught up in an angry mob::
Well, she’s probably caused some guys to slaver.
Why am I thinking she has a different version of the word “bibliophile” in that book of hers?
That particular page also has slots for two D cell batteries, if you catch my drift…
It also has an extension cord so you can plug it in (to a power socket on the wall; get your mind outta the gutter).
Biblio-file?
Dewey’s got nothing on her.
Well, do we or don’t we?
As a longtime pen-and-paper gamer I can see SOOO many ways to abuse something like this… and a few ways for the GM to control it.
Best way might be just to state that the book works like a bag of holding with an index: it can contain anything the player preloads into it and will deliver those items upon lookup, but can’t ‘create’ new things.
Another way would be to use the player’s skill/spell check (depending on your system) to control what they actually get: ask for an assault rifle and make the roll, you get an M4 with a full magazine; ace the roll and get the same rifle with an aimpoint, light/laser module, 50-round drum and all the rest of the gunbunny goodies. Fail and you get just the rifle (no ammo); critical-failure and maybe you get a Nerf gun, maybe you get a real gun but it comes out muzzle-first and already firing. Make some things harder to get or more likely to fail than others, GM’s fiat.
Ask for a specific gun and you get it, but no ammo :-)
One word, bubba… “Airsoft”.
A sadistic GM could have much fun with that.
Is their any other kind of DM? Other than ‘incompetent’ and ‘stupid’, or, the dreaded “threefour” (sadistic incompetent and stupid, usually goes by the name of ‘Frank’)
You forgot the troll DM.
Not to be confused with the Internet Troll
Ugh! I messed up the link.
Okay, Plan B:
https://pepperminthelmet.com/comic/trolls/
Please tell me it IS anonymous!
Pedantic ones seem quite common.
No, the pedant and troll are sub-categories of Sadistic GM
I resemble that remark.
There’s the ‘storyteller DM’, who’s so eager to tell the story the way he imagines it going that he keeps on railroading the PCs’ actions…
:(
But then you get the real storyteller DM, who conjures up such an immersive world, that the players forget the real world and are swept up into the story as the dynamic protagonists. With every interaction drawing them deeper and deeper into the reality. Each breath carrying the odours of their new world. All the interactions with the inhabitants keeping them in the moment, and making them yearn to continue the …
Ooh, the Yovrpie Snax™ have arrived. Anyone want to share my bowl? Rather limited on the pies front mind. Do help yourself to Tweetie Pie though, if you fancy it.
Hm… I would limit the book to [mass-produced things] and [pre-loaded things], and there’d have to be a cost proportional to the item you take out – even if there’s a limit on uses per day, you’d still go: “OK, 1 minute to midnight, and I’ve got 2 uses left. Time to add to my gold bar collection.”
Having a cost in money would work; it would be basically a super-convenient store with zero delivery time. (I’ve read fiction where the protagonist has that very superpower.)
…Except then you’d be scouted by Deus, who would make you follow him around all day so he could gleefully abuse the heck out of it on a moment’s notice.
…I notice she’s got “Mana” in her dictionary. Would it just, like, pour out and suffuse the air in the room, or something?
Who knows? Maybe it’d be the other way around, so the word “Mana” would be more like the cap on your car’s gas tank.
Or, it could be an un-summonable word, added for completion as a dictionary.
Alternate definition for Mana: “Mana from Heaven” food provided for the Israelites by God during their exile in the wilderness. Is Ellie hungry?
But shouldn’t there be two ‘n’s, rather than just one of them, in that word?
yes, Manna has 2 n’s, mana has one, but basically the idea of the second is based loosely on the first.
They are unrelated. “Mana” originates in Polynesia (the one that ‘mana potions’ are derived from). Whilst the other is from the Middle East (the Biblical manna from heaven, of which an archaic spelling is “mana”).
I figured it needed the definition of “Mana” to have a Mana Potion”.
Yeah I had thought of that too- “Only items that really exist”, “only generic nouns (i.e. you could ask for ‘an assault rifle’ but not ‘an IWI Tavor with the 18″ barrel’ or ‘Dabbler’s railgun’)”, and “only things that exist in bulk” (not ‘a big diamond’), with the produced matter having a fairly short lifespan. That’d at reduce most abuses, and a good GM has ways to (ahem) ‘discourage’ most of the rest.
I second that.
Sort of like the catalogue from Temporal Express. You find the entry for what you need & put your finger on it to select it. The staff at Temporal Express processes your order & ships it through a time warp so that it’s delivered as soon as you selected it. They also charge it to your account & bill you so that the cost is immediately billed to you at the same time.
Temporal Express doesn’t always get the order exactly right, even if it’s always delivered on time. You may order an RPG Launcher, but you may get the PlayDemon magazine issue with the Gals of the Succubi Finishing School edition.
Presumably their complaints procedure would be likewise as efficient. So, if found in your favour, the incorrect item would be intercepted and replaced by the correct one, before you received the wrong one initially.
Provided you lived, in order to file the complaint.
Is she using a Magical Dictionary or can she use any common Webster’s dictionary?
Well, considering the thing had to be chained to her . . .
I hope it *is* a dictionary. If it’s an Encyclopedia everything gets a lot more complicated.
Webster’s might be full of spiders, tho…
Imma going to need a copy of that book. for reasons.
Indeed.
*Raising hand eagerly*
I want one too!!
Check the price first.
Your soul. And one quadzillion dollars.
One of the things I wonder about is do you choose the book, or does it choose you? That also applies to Sydney’s orbs…..
I choose Sydney’s orbs. Every part of her is perfect!
Whereas the book (the Grimoire Armoire) created Elsbeth, when it had a need to become mobile.
But you can only hope that it does not apply to Pokemon.
Ook!
I wonder if that book has an entry for ‘magic book’
yes… but you just pull it out of itself, and the original disappears. It does however have an entry for ‘spellbook’
How about an entry for TARDIS? That might cause a few issues.
You could only get the TARDIS during that episode when it shrunk down to a tiny size…The book can only provide things that would fit through a hole as large as the page-surface.
Just order a TARDIS that is not broken. Dr Who’s one is broken. Others can actually change their size and shape.
We have seen three TARDIS, all are broken in some fashion
Most can. Only those which get too close to a studio with a limited special-effects budget get broken.
Maybe they scan local special effects, to see what transformations would blend in, with local technology? Then realise that Earth is just too primitive, to risk being seen altering at all.
We’ve seen four main tardise, The Doctor’s, The Master’s, The Rani’s and the Meddling Monk. As well as others in an unused/waiting state while on Gallifrey.
The Meddling Monk’s TARDIS worked fine until the doctor removed the Dimensional Stabiliser and it became internally the size of the Altar that it was disguised as.
The Master’s seemed to be working well and was able to be disguised as multiple things during its appearances including a Roman column, a clock and a statue.
The Rani’s appeared twice once in 1800’s england, where it was disguised, and on an alien world in which it was not being hid so was set to be a glass pyramid. Both times her tardis was sabotaged, the first time it was obviously fixed but the second time is unknown.
The Doctor’s Tardis is the only one that was damaged other than by direct sabotage, this mostly because it was a Type 40 and was scheduled to.be decomissioned when he stole it/ it stole him, basically the TARDIS was old and broken when he got it, has had numerous close scrapes with destruction throughout its time with the doctor, has not had the repairs it needs (remember the Doctor was not top of his class, is not a trained TARDIS Mechanic and has not even read the manual.) on top of that hasn’t been properly reconfigured for single pilot flight and is now having to power itself off chroniton and artron fluxes since the destruction of the Eye of Harmony on Gallifrey. Honestly its a marvel of Gallifreyan engineering that the thing flies at all.
A short list of the systems that don’t work on the Doctor’s TARDIS includes The Chameleon circuit, the State of Grace field, the HADS (normally), the Fast Return Switch (sometimes), the automatic Fault detector (it developed a fault), The Food Dispenser and thats not including the minor issues more generally with most of the navigation systems.
Its ‘trouble finder’ circuitry works just fine mind.
That’s just the on-board AI/soul.
Was actually thinking of just The Doctor’s (who is actually vet doctor, that’s why he has so much trouble with hyu-mons), The Master’s (last seen, by me, stuck as a Roman pillar) and that immortal Viking girl’s (that seemed to be stuck as a 1950’s diner)
Under the definition for “recursion”.
See Weatherheight‘s comment, immediately above, and follow the subsequent instructions in the thread.
Come one, indoors, pick a sub machine gun, an auto-shotgun, far better than an assault rifle.
For indoors that is…
“Why is there no page for sharks with frickin’ laser beams attached to their heads?”
EXACTLY!
Cause the pages would get wet??
why would the book get that excited?
Sharks with laser beams attached to their heads? Everybody gets that excited for them.
Indeed, almost thought she was going for an AA12 at first.
It is a big empty room though.
For an AR to be effective, it would need to be a HUGE room.
I am pretty sure it will make holes in things. It may not be the best choice but it can kill things that are vulnerable to bullets, even at close range.
OK that may include some collateral damage, from ricochets.
But hey she is probably an American…*stops wagging tail*
Bad dog, I must resist!
Eh, she’s a mage, and it doesn’t look like she’s in a subtle school of magic, either. So she probably expects ‘big and loud,’ and that’s what she gets. If she had flipped to ‘revolver’ the book probably would have given her a Smith & Wesson Model 29.
Or a S&W .500 Magnum.
Or one of those, yeah. I’ve decided – until DaveB says otherwise – that when it comes to specific items The Book Of Many Things gives its reader what she subconsciously expects. Seems thematically appropriate.
Maybe, not subconsciously but imagination limited. So keep that book away from Sydney at all costs….
Oh HECK yes.
Which she wouldn’t want to use if she doesn’t have a way of getting her personal hulk going.
The S&W .500 is not a good gun. It’s high quality and well engineered, but it’s not a good gun unless you’re super powered. For regular people the S&W .500 is a show piece. Something you take to the range and shoot a few, very few, shoots, and then you carefully put it away with stinging hands and aching arms.
If you want a good gun, and really feel you need a wheel gun then go for .44 magnum. Recoil is manageable and you’ve got a great choice of ammunition for all kinds of purposes.
If you want a gun for more normal situations then go for a 9mm, or a .45 if that’s what it takes to float your boat. The 9mm would probably be the more versatile of those two with a better ammo capacity for the weight and size, and with modern ammunitions there is anything from extreme penetrators to soft nosed hollow points that most of the time will stay in a human sized target without over penetrating.
i carry a Ruger GP-100 or a single stack compact .45. I own a model 29 with an 8 inch barrel, but only carry it on back country trips. the .357 with modern handloads will stop just about anything I’m likely to come across….
Be careful, if you have that quantity of gold pieces with you, be they loose or stacked, you really should be armed! Whilst the model 29 is a classic, it is not exactly going to outrun any modern villain’s car. And, in the countryside, a 4 x 4 is probably more practical.
Not really into dancing myself, but it sounds like you are pretty skilled to do the ‘point three fifty seven’ move. Keep it up though, as you may come across someone who has mastered the full ‘three hundred and sixty spin’, and would not stop, to admire your otherwise impressive version.
I think you need something with at least bear killing power against whatever these mannequins are made of.
Hence the rifle.
If you are looking at stopping power (no matter how you care to define it) rifles are generally better than even the huge revolvers and automatic pistols.
Actually defining “stopping power” is a problem. Probably the best method is to look at statistics from actual shootings and rank cartridges after observed effect, but this is both cumbersome and inconclusive. A clumsy and inaccurate but easy way is to go by the amount of energy transfered by the bullet. This is easily calculated by looking at velocity and bullet weight, but doesn’t really tell us what happens when the bullet impacts someone or something. However it is a good metric as it tells us the POTENTIAL energy transfer. How that energy is spent depends on bullet dimension, construction, and what, where and how the impact occurs.
So here is a short list of common ammunition and approximately how much energy the can potentially transfer to the target in ft·lbf
Pistol cartridges:
.44 Special – 340 ft·lbf
9×19mm Parabellum – 500 ft·lbf
.40 S&W – 500 ft·lbf
10mm Auto – 770 ft·lbf
.357 Magnum – 800 ft·lbf
.44 Magnum – 1530 ft·lbf
.500 S&W Magnum – 2880 ft·lbf
Rifle cartridges:
5.45x39mm – 1100 ft·lbf
.223 Remington – 1330 ft·lbf
5.56x45mm NATO – 1330 ft·lbf
7.62x39mm – 2200 ft·lbf
7.62x51mm NATO – 2600 ft·lbf
.308 Winchester – 2700 ft·lbf
.30-06 Springfield – 3000 ft·lbf
.30-378 Weatherby Magnum – 4700 ft·lbf
.50 BMG – 14900 ft·lbf
.700 Nitro Express – 15000 ft·lbf
Makes things simpler right?
So looking at this it’s obvious that a .44 Magnum is superior to any rifle less than a 7.62x39mm, right?
Actually that’s not the case, and this is why ft·lbf isn’t a good way to measure stopping power.
The pistol cartridges are all relatively slow, that is the bullet travels slower or just slightly faster than the speed of sound. They are however quite heavy compared to the bullets used in most rifle cartridges of reasonable size. They also have a larger diameter then the rifle bullets, which translates as less penetration.
Another thing to consider is recoil and how long it takes to line up the weapon for a second shot. A gun like the .500 S&W will recoil like mad when used with high powered loads. Re-acquiring the target will take time and after a few shots you will be in pain.
A .44 Magnum will also have a lot of recoil, but compared to the .500 it’s quite tame. You can also use either .44 special or just light magnum loads and the big .44 Magnum revolver will be quite comfortable.
.375 Magnum revolvers can actually have a quite nasty recoil if they are light snubnose models, but a full size revolver isn’t hard to control.
Automatic pistols have a different recoil impulse compared to a revolver. Generally the recoil will be less severe at comparable power levels. Yet among automatics the 10mm Auto is often said to have to much recoil to be used by most people. That’s what the FBI concluded after having first adopted it as their standard. It remains in use by the FBI Hostage Rescue and SWAT teams.
The .40 S&W has almost the same diameter (10.2mm) as the 10mm Auto (10.17) but uses a shorter case and less powder resulting in a lower velocity, lighter recoil, and makes it possible to build a more compact grip. It was developed so existing 9mm pistol designs could easily be adapted for the new cartridge with minimal changes. The idea was to cash in on the FBI adopting the 10mm Auto and offer the .40 S&W to law enforcement agencies as a more controllable and economic alternative. In practice it offers few advantages over the much more common and cheaper 9mm Parabellum.
9mm Parabellum has become the most common cartridge used in pistols. There are a lot of different bullet designs and loadings used for every thing from target ammunition to expanding or penetrating ammunition. The huge market has driven development faster than for the competing cartridges making it an extremely versatile choice. It’s also driven down the costs making it economic. Compared to the prime competitor, the 45 ACP, it delivers a similar amount of power, but in a more compact package allowing for higher ammunition capacity and/or more compact design, cheaper ammunition and more choices in both weapon and ammunition.
Note that 9mm Parabellum ammunition can range in power and that manufacturers label these as anything from 9mmP to 9mm P+P. In general a modern quality gun should be able to handle the most powerful loadings but it’s best to check first. The most powerful 9mm ammunition is produced for use with fully automatic sub machine guns and can be quite harsh when used with a pistol.
.45 ACP is a very popular round. Basically it’s a heavy, slow moving pellet that hits hard and usually won’t over penetrate. It was THE cartridge of choice for a long time, and was used with the classic M1911 pistol. Modern bullet designs has improved it’s capabilities and after more than 100 years it’s still a good choice.
OK, OK… I’ve totally forgot why I’m writing this. I had an idea but can’t remember just what it was. Something about pistols versus rifles, and why a big pistol isn’t a god replacement for a rifle, I think…
I do know I planed on writing something about why a .700 Nitro Express isn’t a sutable replacement for a .50 BMG, even if the numbers look similar. Basically that has to do with bullet design, velocities, and weapon design. In short the .700 is a big, slow, lead slug, while the .50 is a high velocity streamlined bullet that will punch through most light armor and cause massive damage to anyone trying to hide behind it…
And now I’m totally confused so I better just post it as is and see if I can remember why I thought writing this was a good idea
The biggest problem with a AR is the ability to impart that energy, most rounds a FMJ and would pass almost harmlessly through the mannequin, even soft point would be less than effective..
The other major draw back to the AR is it’s weight… weight in the AR is great for long range groupings, it help keep it stable, this also helps stop sway when acquiring targets closer top your front as the motion is easier to make smooth, up to about 15deg either side of center..
But when your at 20m(in a room) the lighter weight of a Sub Machine Gun, means your can acquire targets at the much larger angles easily, and the you dont need the weight for accurate ranged fire… Plus against someting that takes a lot of killing, being able to put a whole mag into it, is better than the three round burst (max) of the AR.
Of course the Auto Shotgun is just awesome, because you only need one shot to shred a mannequin..
Elsbeth: EYES and EARS! [ Pulls trigger ]
Firearms: puff, puff, puff, …
Elsbeth: So that’s what a silencer does. Cool.
That last hole is penis-shaped.
Captain Obvious to the rescue!
A thankless job, but someone has to do it.
I want that book! I’d love to expand my gun collection!
Alternatively, she could just be trying to give batman a run for his money at being super-prepared?
That would solve most game-breaking issues, like her pulling out a Philosopher’s Stone, set of Dragon Balls, or whatever. Local equivalents, meh.
Are you going to volunteer to castrate the dragon? o_O
The problem with Dragon Balls is that you might find ones that are still attached to a Dragon… who doesn’t like getting pulled through the book by them…
^_^
“…set of Dragon Balls…”
You just want to be careful & be far, far away from them when the dragon shows up to get them back…He’s going to be very angry at that point.
I would prefer a set of dragon eggs. Green, blue, brown, gold and a white. Plus a matching set of fire-lizard eggs. Ooh, and a minidrag!
You might need tech support for the dragon balls. They can be a bit tricky. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iX-K5Dj0ByM
I have a feeling there may be a reason they keep that book chained to her.
Possibly because half the people who see her using it are tempted to steal it?
But, yea, there could be another, more fundamental, reason.
The last time it got loose it had eaten three cats, and was eyeing-up a pram, before she managed to net it.
Well I haven’t thought that much about the why, but then I’ve got a soft spot for pretty girls with chains and leather and…
TMI, right? OK, I can live with that…
“I’ve got a soft spot for pretty girls with chains and leather and…”
I thought that would have been… obvious. Oh, yeah, hence the name.
Oh, the Magical Womens Purse.
I wonder what other stuff she has in there….
So that is why women always have just what they need in their purses!
My mom carried tools in hers, like hammers or adjustable wrenches.
Buncha years ago, I met a woman in a bar whose purse went /thunk/ when she put it down on the table.
“What’s in there?”
“My magnum”, she said.
And sure enough, in among the lipstick and compact, was a Ruger Redhawk .44 with a 5″ barrel.
“…I believe I’d like to hang out with you for a while,” I said.
…Not very effective against a run-by purse snatcher, I’ll bet…
It is if she shoots him first.
Shoot, hell. Just swat him with the thing.
Heh, just so, and on much safer legal grounds.
Funny you don’t look like a polar bear…
Just picture DaveP.‘s avatar in a snowy background. Along with his big paws.
https://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb004.html
Don’t you know you’re not supposed to ask.
But how else do you ensure you do not mistake sanitary items for condiments?
“Just pass me the hand-wipe’s will you? Oh and help yourself to the mints, if you are hungry.”
I’m pretty sure I know what condiments look like.
Anyone else remember the original Shaman from the John Byrne version of Alpha Flight?
Also, see Felix the Cat.
Not only do I remember him, I can still hear Mr. Whipple asking people not to squeeze him.
How come the Who’s who box was moved to the bottom of the page instead of beside the comic? I didn’t even see it the last two comics (till I did this comment asking where it went only to just see it now).
It was better beside the comic T_T.
Sorry, but far as my browser is concerned, it is still beside the comic.
I’ve noticed the same for a few weeks now. However it appears to depend on the width of your screen. On a wider screen it still shows side by side.
I suspect a small change in the code of the site somewhere changed the width of an element or blank space, and now it is pushing the Who is who to the bottom because inside the reserved space for it and the comic (the dark purple area) there is not enough room to set it side by side.
Ah! So it’s a width thing then … I’ll try zooming out my page then restarting then. Thank you ^_^.
Remember, wider is better.
How come the Who’s who box was moved to the bottom of the page instead of beside the comic? I didn’t even see it the last two comics (till I did this comment asking where it went only to just see it now).
It was better beside the comic T_T.
A simple but effective limitation would be. “You can only pull out things that you have put there in the first place” like a book of holding.
See?! This is why you don’t ever hear me complain about pacing or adding yet more new characters! DaveB keeps coming up with the coolest stuff ever!
Okay, I’m through gushing now. Excuse me while I go and fetch a mop.
…I hope that’s drool, not…something else…that needs a mop…
I’m not telling.
You’re very welcome for that, by the way! ☺
I _want_ that book!
Yeah, it may cause some embarrassing moments though..
“No Mom, I was totally looking up ‘Sentence structure in Too kill a Mockingbird for homework, but I flipped a few pages to many and ACCIDENTALLY ended up on ‘Sexy android love bot’ honestly!”
Or he could have misheard his teacher and ended up reviewing this book he retrieved:
https://www.amazon.com/Tequila-Mockingbird-Cocktails-Literary-Twist/dp/0762448652
* The Who’s Who on my load of the page is still to the right of the comic.
* I notice she didn’t just pull out any old rifle, but one with a double-drum.
* If “assault rifles” (ugh, media) aren’t effective indoors, that will be news to militaries that use them.
* Against things that can re-assemble like the swat-akins, she’s going to want to put a LOT of holes in them, until they’re more hole than not.
Thus an automatic shotgun would have been a better choice.
With a floor mount! I am imagining the amount of shoulder trauma using a shotgun on automatic. 6 deer slugs per second! Oh, my poor ears and shoulder.
Yeah, to my recollection the big-ass auto shotguns with drums are for mounting and people the size of houses who probably don’t need a gun in the first place.
Actually people the size of houses still need them Argentina’s strongest man was stabbed to death by a bum in his backyard. https://ferfal.blogspot.com/2015/05/argentinas-strongest-man-stabbed-to.html
In the fanfiction universe for another comic, there’s a guy with a 12-gauge revolver.
And in the book Snow Crash a guy has a nuclear warhead in the side cart of his bike (coupled to a sub dermal heart monitor and set to go off if he dies or the connection is broken).
An your point was?
Actually, and surprisingly, the recoil probably wouldn’t be that bad. >a href=”https://youtu.be/WOoUVeyaY_8″ title=”AA-12 Fully Automatic Shotgun!!!”>Here is a link to a clip on YouTube.
Don’t let the accent put you off and watch the clip to the end. It’s only 6 minutes or so and even though FPSRussia can be a bit over the top there is some interesting footage. Most relevant probably being him shooting two fully automatic shotguns simultaneously, and a one handed demonstration of the lack of recoil.
And i fugged that link… Here we go again!
And again!
What do you know! It worked. Seems third time’s the charm…
The water-resistant properties are pretty impressive. One flaw (although it is highly laudable to try and prevent seal-hunting) is that they would have difficulty operating the weapon with flippers, instead of hands.
Well this particular model seems to work with clean water, but that’s all this video says about reliability. Sand, mud, old moldy coffee grinds (!) and plain old lack of cleaning might be another matter.
As for seal flipper compatibility I’d think that changing the drum will prove harder for our flipper enabled friends than just pulling the trigger. And remember that warranty is void if seal is broken.
Oh clearly it cannot then receive the Yorp seal of approval. Although it may well be useful in my Antarctic base, as there is not much sand, mud and suchlike contaminating the water there. Although I have my suspicions for -40 and below.
Don’t blame the media. When it comes to the origin of the word term “assault rifle” you can blame Hitler. The Nazis invented the Sturmgewehr 44 when they realized that they needed a counter to submachine guns and that most rifles were actually overpowered for the ranges combat took part in. They set out to combine the rate of fire of the machine gun with the range and power of a rifle, without making it so cumbersome as to be a squad automatic rifle. They renamed it the Sturmgewehr, which translates to “assault rifle,” to differentiate it from rifles that came before. It was the first time such a gun had been created, and it represented a major shift in military armament.
Yay! Kat is apparently going to be okay!
I’m loving the bendy straw but couldn’t they have rolled the poor girl over? If not onto her injured back, then at least onto her side? I can’t help but recall her complaining about uncomfortable boobs, after all.
Yeah, I was thinking “rescue position”. Sydney might not have gotten that far in her training, or maybe she is still tying up the other golem.
As a sad but valid side note; when a person is exposed to a strong paralytic or sedative substance it is a bad idea to roll that person onto their back. During the Russian theater hostage crisis of 2002 the police pumped a strong sedative gas into the theater to try to knock out the attackers. It did, but also affected the hostages. About 130 died, many from being taken outside and placed on their backs by rescuers. Their muscles were so weakened that many died from choking when their own tongues dropped back into their airways and cut off their breathing.
That’s why the rescue position ISN’T putting someone on their back, but is actually closer to them being on their side. notably, unless I’m forgetting something, you move their head so it is pointing at at least a slight angle down. ( the idea is it both stops them choking on their own tongue, and if they throw up, thye won’t choke on their own vomit.)
Yup. Of course (the the thread in general) it does need to be balanced against needing to ensure that the patient is not killed by active enemies in the immediate vicinity.
Plus, in Kat’s case, her anti-toxin should cure her fast enough that the inconvenience and pain is not long-lived. At the very least she can still move her head, neck, tongue and lips, and is unlikely to deteriorate, due to the magical help. So the problems would probably not include anything life-threatening. Unlike the manikins
the the = re. the
Yups, you turn them on their side, with the top leg bent to stop them rolling completely over onto their stomach (can’t remember fully, but doesn’t the top arm go behind them to stop them from rolling backwards?)
They stopped putting the arm behind the person because it lead to a few cases of nerve damage or circulatory problems in a few individuals (usually those with mobility issues or arthritis).
The top forearm* is laid over the bottom arm, sometimes under the head to support it.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Recovery_position
* the technique can vary for species with more than two arms.
Obviously it depended on how far up the back the arm was placed, properly it was at the base of the spine (where the arm would rest comfortably bent once at a 90 degree angle)
No wonder why it is attached to her at her waist and why it needs to be this big and bulky.
The book itself might be many things.. A spell book which simply eases the user into the art or a encyclopaedia with examples of the Items attached. The ring on the chain however seems to be the real focal point projecting the hole into the book.
Well, Elsbeth is officially my new favorite. I am thoroughly in love with that girl.
I wonder if Elsbeth would’ve smuggled liquor in that book during Prohibition???
Are you suggesting that she’s… old?
Then again, like Ingsol, she might take it aa a compliment.