Grrl Power #381 – Thimble smuggler
This is kind of a weird page but I couldn’t think of a better way to transition to the next one. Ok I probably could have, but when there are no boys around girls talk about girl issues with each other. And as Harem points out, also sometimes when there are boys around. But I wanted some girl talk and I thought the idea for the movie was funny.
No one really makes coming of age movies anymore that are just excuses to see a lot of skin. <old man voice>Back in my day</old man voice> you’d watch Revenge of the Nerds or Porky’s, yeah they were funny, but really it was also because there were boobs in it or a shower scene. Nowadays anyone can just call up infinite nudity on their computer. No sneaking a look at your friend’s dad’s Playboy or anything. It’s so rampant that Playboy is 86ing the nudity and basically becoming another Maxim so they can sell on more shelves.
Off the top of my head I’m having trouble picturing the scenario where the team does get called in to handle a super powered prankster. They’d have to be breaking some laws pretty hard to draw the team’s attention, but I tell you, a lot of super powers could facilitate some incredible pranks. Obviously there’s telekinesis and invisibility (both have movies about seeing boobs made about them) but what about a power like Color Control. Sounds pretty lame, but really it means you could recolor any surface – repaint any sign, put dirty words or schlongs on billboards, black out any screen or window or camera, maybe even blind people if you could turn their corneas opaque. Even make those pants that girls wear that say “Juicy” across the butt say “Explosively Incontinent” instead. That would be a hell of a pranking power, but would the team get called in if someone was defacing billboards with it? Hard to say. Neither Arianna or Max would want to stoop so low, but if he made Air Force one look like a big pink dildo they’d probably have to do something.
I spent a fair amount of time looking for songs with the word gold in the title for Sydney to use as a “revenge ringtone” for the earlier incident, but most of them were sucky soft rock or country and none of them felt right. I’m sure there’s a good one Sydney could use but she hasn’t thought of it yet.
Holy crap, Xmas is this week you guys. It really snuck up on me this year. I’ll post a regular comic on Thursday, so you guys can come check out the comic on your new iPads or whatever you get for Xmas.
Edit: Whoops, I posted the full res png file by mistake. That’s what I get for doing it 2 am all the time. I’m surprised stuff like that doesn’t happen more often. The web sized .jpg is up now.
Here’s the link to the new comments highlighter for chrome, and the GitHub link which you can use to install on FireFox via Greasemonkey.
Saved by the Maxi :D
Who happens to be as Bad to the Bone as the Terminator. In his case, it’s a hyper-alloy combat chassis, but Max’s chassis is, on the whole, presumably biological (Metallic-looking skin notwithstanding).
Error! Error!! Errant word on the loose, last seen not in Bodie’s last double speech bubble, identified as ‘With’, leaving a gap between ‘Dealing’ and ‘Someone’!!! All unit’s proceed with caution until apprehended and returned, have a nice day!!!!
Also, not sure if it’s just me, but did you load the wrong size image? It’s difficult to make out some of the words
I did, but it’s fixed now. I’ll get the dialog fixed as well.
Nope, she’s being called to deal with super-powered dancers.
Evidently, Sydney’s been taking her own pictures during the press demo yesterday…I recognize that particular pic that Syd’s using for Max on her phone…
HEY! You stole my favorite low-tier superpower!
YES, high resolution comic! All the retina displays of the worlds says thank you!
Is that why my phone won’t load it?
Probably. It’s a 20MB 4050×6300 24-bit PNG at the moment. If my quick math is correct, that’s around 76MB of uncompressed image data.
It looks so much better on my 4K monitor than past strips :)
Heh heh I did that by mistake. I’m sure it looks great, but it’d kill my bandwidth and also anyone could print a copy of my comic if they had the 600 dpi masters. Not that I’m worried about that necessarily. Maybe if I ever get an intern I could look into posting a larger version of the comic though.
Why not sell high resolution renditions of the comic in .cbr or .cbz format, watermarked with an autographed picture of you and the purchaser as a cover page?
Or, you know, he could sell books like i believe he plans to…
Perfect things to sell, or for patreon, or something like that
All the retina displays of the world says awww…
What is the ringtone Sydney uses for Maxima?
“Bad to the Bone”, I think :)
aaand in case you’ve never heard it ^.^
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OeGA5DLMKbQ
Ooooh, I’ve heard that, but only the chorus and only in movies.
Its also Al Bundy’s official theme song from Married With Children, whenever he is about to kick some ass and take some names. Of course, to me its a song on my ipod, along with a full cd of george thorogoods music. Ill take one scotch one bourbon and one beer when they get back to the club.
I get the feeling that Max would unofficially approve of that song being associated with her.
I doubt it, seeing add it’s a guy bragging about his enormous penis.
Yep and honestly pretty fitting.
Gold finger? Dragula? She’s so High?
So many options!
I bet Gwen’s is gonna be ‘Living Dead Girl”
Harem’s needs to be “I Think I’m A Clone Now.”
Hah, that’s an excellent choice!
Weird Al is always an excellent choice.
I do have to wonder how Harem would react to being at both ends of the call. Also, does Harem have one phone, or five? If one, what happens if the one that has the phone is unpresent (so to speak) when the phone call is made? No answer, of course, but surely someone in charge would be grumpy with her about not answering…
There seems to be one Harem who is always in military fatigues so I’d guess one of her is on duty at all times and that one has THE PHONE for contacting her.
Just search for some song about Buster gold. It’s the internet must be something like that out there.
Failing all else, “Gold” from the RWBY soundtrack :P
My personal favorite is this, although I haven’t met anyone worthy of it yet.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3YMmrgYJb8
Well, yeah it would be difficult to be worthy of that…There’s a lot of qualifiers included in there & some of which requires specific circumstances of birth.
;)
Gold Dust? Gold Digger might be a good one.
GOLD, by Prince
https://www.metrolyrics.com/gold-lyrics-prince.html
HOW DARE YOU MAKE LIGHT OF NIPPLE INDUCED INJURIES!
.
.
.
Heh I’m just kidding but seriously a jab in the eye eith an erect nipple sounds like at least something to cause pause, and possibly vocalise about comedically, especially considering eyeballs are a little more sensitive than (most) nipples.
Eye Scream, you scream, we all scream for
Seriously though, Dabbler’s HypnoBoobs would be rendered useless against one who has been blinded by nipple-pokes.
On the subject of Ringtones and Theme music, What do you think fits the other teammates?
Math – Battle Without Honor or Humanity – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fQuEqwQ2I4
and sadly that is all I can come up with.
Harem – I think I’m a Clone Now (Weird Al)
Well if we can use parodies then I have another.
Dabbler – I’d Like To Teach The World To Fap (In Perfect Harmony) – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QEPHLPmt914
NSFW Obviously
I was just about to type that one next.
I was thinking “Sit On My Face” by Monty Python ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dax_tnZRExc ) – but that works too…
I wonder how many recording sessions it took her to get that song down without laughing.
Maxima – Laser Speed Force (Machinae Supremacy) – https://goo.gl/GBa3FL
Oh I just got one!
Achilles – Indestructible by Disturbed (if anyone fits it, its him)
And another!
Heatwave – Fight Fire With Fire – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_ympHnG77Y
I feel like Heatwave would appreciate “That girl is on fire” a little more. Don’t know if that’s the proper song title, or who sings it, but yeah.
Alicia Keys Girl on Fire? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J91ti_MpdHA
I like that one, it reminds me of Flame Princess.
Alicia Keys: “Girl on Fire” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J91ti_MpdHA
Was thinking “Warrior” by Disturbed for Maxima myself.
Maxima – Metallica – ecstasy of gold.
Not sure whether Queens: “Don’t stop me now” would be a better choice for Maxima or Dabbler. Hmm, use it for both thus gaining an extra burn when Maxima finds out she’s marked as being like Dabbler (lyrically of course). :-)
Forget all of those. Maxima’s next ring tone should be Daft Punk’s “Harder, better, faster, stronger”.
I really think Achille’s theme would be the MacGyver theme: not because he’s clever, but because of the power mullet.
I support this.
Damn. Didn’t scroll down – someone got to this before me. :P
+1 for this suggestion.
Harem: Fun – “We Are Young”
Dabbler: Dragonette – “I Get Around”
Mr. Amorphous: Sia – “Elastic Heart”
Achilles: Amy Macdonald – “Poison Prince”
Deus X: Sugababes – “Push The Button”
Halo: [Depeche Mode / Beyoncé / Texas / The Pussycat Dolls] – “Halo”
Do you really think Sydney would allow a simple pop song to be her theme?
Knowing her, she’d be constantly switching between any number of opening themes to anime and superhero cartoons, only because she’d play it once, and determine it doesn’t feel perfect and would continue doing so until she decided it’d be best just to have someone write her theme song.
True. Now that she’s the “Queen of Salt”, she could hire “Queens of the Stone Age” title=”No One Knows … how the deer tied the ropes” to write it…
Jiggawatt – ACDC Thunderstruck
Jiggawatt’s easy:
Electric Six – “Danger! High Voltage”.
DaveB: 2001, A Space Oddity – Hal: “Good evening Dave. Everything is fine and operating perfectly. Just a moment; just a moment.”
As it was pointed out in the movie, “I’m Gonna Get You Sucka!” EVERY hero just has to have a theme song.
Cold temperatures affect men and women in literally the opposite ways.
Also, Inconvenient Penis would be nowhere near as popular as Inconvenient Nipples.
Great minds think alike. That’s the first place my mind went too when I read about Inconvenient Nipples.
We already have a name for that, tough:
Morning wood.
Have you never had a random boner pop up at any other time other than when you wake up in the morning? Because if not, you might want to double check to make sure the connections between your two heads are working. I get at least 3 chubs a day regardless of what happens. General friction, stray thoughts, and moments of being overly comfortable (i.e. ate something good, relaxed, and perfectly warm) cause my soldier to stand at attention.
Also, question for the ladies. Do nipples and/or the clitoris become erect during non-sexual moments of comfort? Like, when you have just had your favorite meal, your sitting in an absurdly comfortable chair in sweatpants and a t-shirt, watching something mindless but enjoyable on TV, and your general mood is good and all of a sudden you notice that a couple of things are pointing with no engagement from you. Just curious if random boner is a non-gender affliction.
Er… as a female the adjective “hard” is not applicable to anything down below at any time. And the nipple thing is unrelated to arousal for me. Cold shower or cold air is the only causes I’ve noticed. (or scratching an itch)
You know what I mean. I don’t literally mean “hard”, I just meant a general stiffening.
And only cold and physical stimuli, huh? I wish more women would respond so I can get a decent sample size to form an idea of the possibilities. I think four or five different answers would be enough to get a picture. Beyond that, I think an actual survey would be needed.
“Volunteers to help with the survey.”
Why do men spank the monkey???
Because it keeps jumping up and down in public!!!
Inconvenient Penis, always showing up to your dinner parties, wolfing its meal and then vomiting everywhere because it went too fast.
Seriously, James Bond theme “Goldfinger” would have worked fine, and it’s definitely not sucky soft rock.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-OGi40MUFS0
I was thinking more Goldmember :P
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SwB0ZJbwmpw
surely the theme to goldfinger would work
plus i’m gonna dispute the unsuitability of Gold from Spandau Ballet, soft rock or no, if nothing else because the most memorable lyric is the “You’re Indestructable” bit
if you’re worried about her streetcred, it could easily be a metal cover version or something
Another one for Maxima: Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Gold Lion
Finally, we get Maxima calling Sydney about whatever Zephan remembered was above our heroine’s pay grade. We’ve all been assuming it’s going to be the aliens, but what if it isn’t? What if DaveB ambushes us with something totally unrelated? Not that I can think of what that might be . . .
things Sydney found out that are above her pay grade so far.
Dabbler
X
Alien Visitors?
Actually, it is Zephan calling, using Max’s phone. When he tried to call using his phone, the call was blocked as an unknown number; she had to enable blocking non-contacts after all the news people started calling last night.
I thought the reason for Archon was to deal with superpowers that ordinary law enforcement couldn’t overcome – or that posed a physical threat that decent body armor could not handle. Even if they were breaking the law in a major way, the pranking powers probably would not require any kind of superpower just to physically subdue them and throw them in jail. Someone who can deface billboards could still be arrested like any other vandal. Unless they had some power to counteract hand-cuffs or unlock their cell door, they would just be another nuisance albeit with a different MO. You just might need a special space to hold them – but all Archon would be needed for in that case is to consult them on special security procedures or how to build a holding facility to counteract their powers sufficient to keep them locked up until trial.
Eh, just because they are using the power for pranks doesnt mean they wouldnt have combat applications. Harem for example could have a freaking blast screwing with peoples heads by porting into their homes, moving stuff around then porting out. Or dabbler just by walking by and using her lust aura to cause issues with couples, the list is endless.
Well, consider:
You’ve got a prankster with the power to turn things invisible/perfectly transparent. He’s making general havoc by using his power on clothing, or on the walls of changing rooms, or for something less teen-film-rompy, people’s skin.
Honestly, if he was reasonably restrained about it, he’d get, at most, some disorderly conduct and privacy invasion citations–misdemeanor conduct, in other words. But the cops can’t catch him, because of course the first thing he does is turn invisible. So at a minimum, you need someone with ARC-Dark’s skills to pinpoint the guy for the cops to nab him.
“…or for something less teen-film-rompy, people’s skin.”
You mean like ?
And another name for prankster is “trickster”, which includes Coyote, a HEAP of Australian aboriginal spirits, Mister Mxyzptlk, the Joker (depending on the writer) and last but not least Loki. All depends on where you draw the line doesn’t it? :-)
The Flash has a villian named “The Trickster”. He’s also appearing in the TV show, played by Mark Hamill.
Mark Hamill also played the Trickster in the Justice League cartoon. One of my favorite Flash moments of all time.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJq2PAI-Fxc
The fourth panel is a righteous tribute to Mystery Science Theater 3000.
For some reason I have Sydney talking to Maxima in the manner of Adam West from the 1960’s Batman (especially if it is a “super hero crisis”, unlikely as that may be).
Oh dear.. The theme tune to the 60’s batman works FINE if you replace “Batman” with “Halo” (or “Sydney” for that matter).
Ok, I’m off to kill things in the post apocalyptic Mojave Desert and drink (a little too) much wine. There is no other sane solution (fortunately it’s 11:25pm at this end of the planet).
Too bad for me it is time to get up and go visit a client for a day’s worth of billable time. “I owe; I owe; it’s off to work I go…”
That’s the problem with dwarves…They take work too seriously.
“Welp, it’s back to the Salt (Queen’s) mines…”
I’ve had some weird random conversations in my time but this whole page was just so confusing.. took like 3 reads to get a handle on it. :P
I’ve had some weird random conversations in my time but this whole page was just so confusing.. took like 3 reads to get a handle on it. :P
And 2 comments! :p
well that’s weird… I’ve had it do that to me before… I do not know what the deal is with doubling my posts….
If you get a “Timed out” msg after posting, and refresh the page sometimes it leads to a resend of information and a double post. Just FYI.
That’s happened even to the best of us. Including me.
Loved Max’s avatar on Sydney’s phone. Just before the epic “don’t-mess-with-me” nuclear blast.
Actually that is from during the blast.
Hmm.
Imagine Dragons- Gold.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rl3ELiPXFRo
Or the opening bit of Beyonce- Hey Goldmember
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ab10tnP-mJs
Or forget her gold colour and riff off her hair and temper instead with- One Eyed one Horned Flying Purple People Eater
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rx47qrH1GRs
from these three, Goldmember wins pretty easy as a “revenge tone”
Just the bit from the Austin Powers song, “Goldie, goldie, goldie, gold gold gold” repeated a few times. That would work.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngmhjiR3QOo Gold Dust Woman by Hole *nod*
I immidiatly thought of “Sonne” by Rammstein, since Maxima shines like the sun and Sydney uses random German words, it kinda felt naturally ^^
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StZcUAPRRac
I imagine Maxima digs her some Rammstein.
I’m guessing the lyrics of “Zwitter” really inspire her.
…
And she’s probably never looked up the lyrics to “Heirate mich.”
O_o
If you really wanna see how dangerous color control can be, look at Hisoka’s “Texture Surprise” nen ability in Hunter×Hunter.
The Legion of Super Heroes (DC) also had a member called Color Kid, who could change the color of anything. Needless to say, not a combat ability. His big moment was when he changed a cloud of Green Kryptonite to Blue Kryptonite. (For non-DC readers; Green K is deadly to Superboy, Blue K is harmless).
I remember hearing about Color Kid!
It wasn’t canon then, but pink kryptoniteis also a thing. It’s harmless, but makes Superman gay. (No, really!)
In current cannon blue kryptonite turns Superman human.
In Larry Niven’s “Man of steel, woman of Kleenex” he points out for the amount of Kryptonite floating around suggests that Krypton must have been a Neutron star rather than a planet (planets wouldn’t have enough mass). Mind you, he did have a thing about Neutron stars..
Actually at one point Superman himself, having advanced Kryptonian scientific knowledge, speculated that what destroyed Krypton was an experiment that may have been an attempt to create an unlimited power source by transforming solid rock into Kryptonite, which has been used as an energy source by Lex Luthor, Metallo, and others. He theorized that the reaction got out of control and may have transformed most of the planet’s core into Kryptonite which collapsed under its own mass and began a fusion reaction that ultimately destroyed the planet.
I thought that was gold?
maxima-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZX62imOapU
Why is this specific page taking so much damn time to load?
I can go to previous pages, and they come up in a flash, but this one …. it’s been about five minutes so far just to load the top half of the strip.
The previous pages have saved as a 300- 400kb .jpg, whereas this one is a 20Mb .png (yes, 20 megabytes)!?
My new Android phone loves it, but my elderly Linux netbook took one look at it and crashed…
It’s just a guess, but I think DaveB’s mistakenly posted the pristine uncompressed working picture, rather than the lo-res .jpg that normally goes on the web. I can’t see any fine detail here that would benefit from such high resolution.
So, if it doesn’t load, it might be best not to keep reloading it. Think of DaveB’s bandwidth!
Yeah, whoops. I’ve replaced with a reasonably sized JPG. I’d love to upload higher res images, (not 20 MB ones though) but I’d have to figure out how to make it so people could chose which one they see by default, which could take some work on the back end I don’t have time for at the moment.
Couldn’t you make it a button that says “show larger” and have it link to a full-sized image?
The comic isn’t showing up when I load up on my phone, is that just me or is there a problem here?
I just wanted to share this shot of Peggy having the proper reaction to Dabbler’s face.
https://gyazo.com/e45c5ab1c4ea2cdcf00b93d36f992277
Nice one.
Can’t wait to see what Maxima wants with Sydney,maybe it’s that prep course of Arianna’s?!?!?
Hit her right in her Feminism; “Could Have Been A Lady” by April Wine. Maybe “Strutter” by KISS.
For Gold-platedness, “Staring at the Sun”, by The Offspring.
Or, not insulting but fitting, “Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger”, by Daft Punk.
That last one reminds me of the intro for the Six Million Dollar Man. I guess that is a good indicated of how old I am.
Of course, that might fit Dabbler better. Hmm, “Xuriel Tantalis, a demon barely alive. Gentlemen, we can rebuild her. We have the technology. We have the capability to make the world’s first bionic succubus. Xuriel Tantalis will be that demon. Better than she was before. Better…stronger…faster.”
Sadly I have a feeling that there already is a “nipple to the eye” fetish site somewhere on the Internet.
Rule #34 Knows no limits.
IIRC, Color Kid of the Legion of Substitute Heroes could do some startling things.
The big one? Changing the color of Kryptonite, because that actually changed its type.
Silver Age comics, everybody!
Heh, red mercury!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_mercury
And in the new millennium, pink kryptonite was discovered! It’s harmless, but makes Superman gay. (No, really!)
Superpowerd pranksters, that could mean big trouble I guess.
Someone who’s capable of doing little tricks when in a good mood can also do some pretty bad stuff when pissed off.
The color control is a good example, but the localized temperature control can be just as bad, what about freezing someones eyes, boiling a kidney while it’s still inside someone else? Someone only capable of teleporting a 4 inch/10cm sphere of material for several meters can be nice for pranks (glob of water inside a victims purse) to extracting saferoom contents.
Inconvenient nipples are a 0.1 on the scale of disturbing pranks.
i think Max’s ringtone should be some kind of explosive themed song. but if not that, The Village People’s “In the Navy” song. yes, i know she is Air Force, but there isn’t any really campy air force songs.
And… hate to break it to you, but your nostalgia for 80s comedies is pretty blind. As college humor likes to point out, “Wacky Hijinks” from 80s comedies like Revenge of the Nerds is just rape. https://www.collegehumor.com/post/7022370/wacky-hijinks-from-80s-comedies-were-mostly-rape Soo…. yeah, back in your day, you consumed rape culture without even blinking and eye, because… Boobs!
Actually, I think Maxima is Army, not Air Force.
Even when I originally saw RotN, I thought the “Surprise! I’m not your boyfriend” scene, I thought she took that revelation extraordinarily well.
GodDAMN this page took forever to load! Is it an especially large filesize or something?
Yes. Yes it is.
how to annoy max-
a music song that ‘s not just dumb, but sexist as hell
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBOsMG5AUtk
If you think the Solid Gold dancers are sexist because the girls are dressed in revealing clothes and shimmying about in a sexually provocative manner, what does that say about all of the men and women crowded into Club Oontz tonight?
To DaveB:
This is a little late to bring up at this point, but I had a question on Jeanie the alien waitress. It did not immediately occur to me, but did you put her into the comic so you could specifically make the joke of having an alien whose purpose was ‘To Serve Man’?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/To_Serve_Man_%28The_Twilight_Zone%29
Well, that may not be applicable in Jeanie’s context: She’s serving women customers too…
;)
how about Golden Earring’s “Twilight Zone” as a revenge ringtone?
I think that, if I was going to chose a ringtone for Maxima, I’d consider using “The Devil Went Down to Georgia”. It doesn’t have Gold in it, but it still sounds right to me.
Has a fiddle made of gold.
Any guy who tries to fiddle around with Maxima’s gold would need a lot of brass…
and recuperation time, probably involving traction.
Too lazy to look and see if someone else said this about the “Gold” ring tone, but really? Not even “Goldfinger”???? I mean, seriously, it’s a Bond theme!
In the context that Maxima can shoot energy bolts from her fingers, yeah that would fit.