Grrl Power #346 – Naming wrongs
I wanted to show Sydney’s immediate reaction once she got past the foaming stage, but the way the dialog flowed we’ll have to wait to the next page to see that. (I am amused by the idea that she has a foaming stage that she regularly exhibits.) Obviously Sydney is easily distracted, but that’s not news to anyone by now.
Shrapnell is a real last name, as is Slaughter, Vetura, Blitzer, Ironside, Savage, Hazard, Fightmaster (not a joke, that’s a real last name) and a host of others that make you think the person missed their calling as a professional wrestler, or if they’re a character in a movie, you just want to roll your eyes. I’ve ranted about super heroes and villains with names that serendipitously match their powers, Telford Porter being just about the worst offender, but obviously Sydney feels differently about it. In fact she’s obviously downright offended when the stars don’t align on the naming front. Even living in a world with actual super powers, the vast majority of people with cool names aren’t going to have powers, so she’d better get used to it.
I encourage people to share the coolest or craziest names you’ve come across, including people who you’d marry just for their last name and then name your kid something rad. (Or lawsuit inducingly awful.) My wife’s last name, for instance, was Warr. If she’d had a daughter she should have named her Cybil.
Here’s the link to the new comments highlighter for chrome, and the GitHub link which you can use to install on FireFox via Greasemonkey.
Mervyn could have been worse. Could have been Dudley. As in Dudly Shrapnell.
“Exit stage right!”
You sir, just won. Everything. NOTHING anyone says can top that. And you got in first. At least on this page.
There was a friend of my family named Candy Kitchen. I went to middle school with Kristen Putz. My high school GFs included Rowan Abbott, & Chrystal Smith.
I once knew a huy whose surname was Boom. I wanted to marry him just so I could introduce myself ‘hi, I’m EmmaBOOM!’ And make everyone jump. That’s a good reason to marry someone, right?
Yes.
Darn tootin’. And think of all the possibilities for the kids’ names. “Meet my children, Bob, Atomic, and Herecomesthe.”
You *can* just get a name change you know :)
Yeah, but that’s cheating :P
I’d defiantly keep it after the divorce.
My father’s first name was Thomas, his older Brother was Richard, and his younger brother was Harold. That’s right, my grandparents named their sons Tom, Dick, and Harry. And, to make it worse for Uncle Dick, our surname is Little.
I laughed harder than I should have…
I went to school with a girl named “Paige Turner”. Here in Texas, there was a daughter of a former Governor named “Ima Hogg” (contrary to popular belief, she did not have a twin sister named “Ura”). Turns out the name Ima was a family name. She was a very socialite and philanthropist until she passed away in 1975. Look her up sometime. People may not know (and has probably been mentioned multiple times by others in the comments) but Shrapnel is named after the man who invented it.
oh and we named one of our dogs Lucy Furr… She is really incredibly shy and sweet, and my wife named her Lucy, I just added the Furr part on my own.
I’m kinda disappointed that the webcomic “Lucy Phurr’s Imps” finally had to come to an end…
Alas I’m unable to hear the surname ‘Hogg’ without picturing the late Sorrell Brooke in a white fat suit yelling “Them Dukes!”. :-)
Good Ole ‘Boss’ Hogg :D
Dr herts, the orthodontist, and his son, Dr herts, the orthodontist.
And my dentist is dr Dekay.
Too bad they don’t work with Dr. J. Slaughter, the oral surgeon (yes, he’s real).
Let me guess; the J. stands for Jaw?
:P
Apparently i’m genetically predisposed to siring twins. So, if given the chance and if they are boys will name them “Kami” and “Deus”, and see which one figures it out first.
Also I’m ditching my last name first chance I get.
I you have identical twins you can name one ‘Juan’ and the other ‘Amal’.
Then when you introduce then you can say “If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal”.
Dr. Sonnenshein… A psychologist who helped a friend of mine through his depression by prescribing him antidepressants.
We all referred to him as… You guessed it… Dr. Sunshine…
And then there was the DeWolf family who, disappointingly, are NOT werewolves.
That same friend of mine knows a woman whose maiden name is longnecker and surname is glasscock… Not joking.
He also had a distant uncle or something whose first name was Toad.
I also know of a Mrs. Whorley.
And a Chip Blokk.
Damn, 6 pages & counting already! So many names too…
Apparently Daniel the Human knew a Gay family (yes, that was their surname), as well as a Slater & a kid with a last name pronounced “wood-your-cow-ski”…
also, turns out Aurelius is an actual name. Looked it up for a laugh, got this…
https://www.behindthename.com/name/aurelius
A friend of mine worked with a guy named Rock Bottomley. A place I used to work had people named Tiger Wang, Iva Human, Richard Biggs, and Richard Smalls. A true pity those last two didn’t work in the same division.
I had a couple coworkers named Darrel and John. I used to call them Hall & Oates.
Would have been even better if their names were Biggs & Wedge!
Growing up both my Grandpa and my uncle were named Richard. When I’d answer the phone and someone asked for Dick, I’d ask big Dick or little Dick? They would always laugh, it took me a few years to figure out why… a 6 year old girl asking if you wanted big Dick or little Dick was quite funny.
Can remember a few years ago, a controversial TV guy got into a huge trouble because he laughed at the name of an Indian ambassador (or something), her last name was pronounced “Dickshit”!
He wasn’t laughing at her, he was laughing at her name (he ended up not only losing his job but had to flee the country)
Then there was the news person who was presenting a report on Chinese president Xi Jinping. He pronounced the name “Eleven Jinping”. https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-india-29274792
Best bad name I’ve ever heard/seen was my grandfathers. Richard Dyck. Yeah, he was dick dick.
So your grandpa was the Moon Moon of this topic.
It probably wouldn’t sound as bad to someone from southern Africa, where there is an animal (a small antelope) named the Dik-Dik.
The single worst real name I’ve ever encountered was and I quote “Wolff Seimen” this was a customer at the hardware store I worked in around 2007, and he need his lawn mower repaired. It took incredible effort not to loose composure when he told me his name as I filled out the repair ticket. My co-woker was turning funny colors trying not to laugh and the customer looks at him and says “Go on get it out of your system…everyone does.” two which I accidentally said “well shit I should hope thats not what she said.” Nothing got accomplished for the rest of the work day afterwards.
Best story I’ve heard today!
Gotta love customer service, (no pun intended) the stuff that happens is real comedy.
…Which makes me wonder why people even dare to refer to “reality TV” as if there’s anything real about it…
Had a girl at work named Krystal Burger.
My first grade teacher was named Mrs. Burger. We thought it was hilarious to call her Mrs. Hamburger. Yes, I know that’s not funny. We were only six. What did we know about humor?
Have a cousin named Richard Gunn.
Dick Gunn for short.
I knew a nice lady named Heather Slaughter who was a sergeant in the Army at the time I knew her.
Also, only a story I heard from someone, but there was apparently a young lady who was a recruit in the navy who had the unfortunate surname of Guzzler.
Fact
I believe they changed her base to FN vs SN for bootcamp grad for sake of tact
about the same time i booted
My name and surname don’t sound so spectacular. But, if you know the original meaning:
Name: Blue Fire
Surename: Heartsong
It would be nice to see that here
;) wink wink ;)
I knew a woman who, after taking her husband’s name, was Marianne Meryhew. She must’ve loved that guy a LOT. :)
Last name is Kopcik, sounds like cop sick. Still waiting for my germ based superpowers before I start my life of villainy. Or maybe be a Bio terrorist.
Kidding of course………..
Maybe.
Commander Flex Plexico
Staff Sgt. Max Fightmaster
Lance Corporal Rad Heroman
Magnus ver Magnusson was a four time World’s Strongest Man champion.
You can not have a manlier name than that, unless you replaced ver with von.
My mother worked with the brain surgeon “Dr Hacker”.
One of the kids in my elementary School is now an Engineer by the name of “Stoner”.
I’ve a friend named Scott Summer – one letter off ye ole Cyclops grandness (And he knows nothing about the Marvel universe! Blasphemy!).
My brother’s ex’s name is Ian Cummings (too close to “I am” in my opinion, last name aside).
Probably just as well your friend doesn’t know. IMO, Cyclops is the ‘Mister Bill’ of the Marvel Universe. Everytime the poor b*****d looks lke getting a personal life, things just go even more warped and horrific. By comparison, Peter Parker has absolutely no grounds for complaint.
ah gotta throw in.
Former roommate I knew from the USAF, Richard Bohn, but he was always Dick to us. Got to page him at the airport once, it was awesome.
Knew a Major Hazard, asked him once if he thought that maybe he should have stayed a Captain.
And my mom almost was named Burnadette Howse, but grandma trumped that first name.
Crap forgot one other one, USAF Dentist, Major Dick Paine.
I knew a USAF doctor named Major Payne. Then he got promoted to Lieutenant Colonel. What a waste of a good name.
There’s a historical author named David Killingray, and one of his works is about the atom bomb.
If Mr. Shrapnel has had to deal with Dabbler or Harem, he’s almost used to supers being off-center like that. Although Sydney does take it to the next level. She is still giddy about the paycheck I assume.
Best real name I have ever come across was Beaowulf Blitzenwulf. Real person, by the time I learned the name he was in a nursing home, but I have to imagine he had the most kickass life imaginable.
Well, when I was in 2nd grade, our class of about 25 had 3 Matts. We also oddly had 4 left handers, which made the room only having 1 pair of left handed scissors a real pain. It took me forever to learn to cut with my right hand.
I knew a Michael Darkangel.
I told him he had a super villain or a dark hero name and he could not stop laughing.
I love that Sydney knows exactly how to abuse her flight orb.
My high school librarian was Joe Hazard. He was a kind, unassuming man of slight proportions who always had a smile on his face. I was on newsstaff and we ran a story on him in the school paper. It turns out he was in the Navy and was a Golden Gloves champion. We unofficially renamed him Fightin’ Smilin’ Headhuntin’ Joe Hazard. We made up the part about headhunting, but he was seriously the coolest guy over 60 on campus.
Since he was a boxer, were his fists known as ‘the dukes of Hazard’?
I went to school with somebody called Wayne Kerr….
Say it fast and hate their parents.
Did he have a brother named ‘Joe’?
I went to school with two Kerr brothers. Their first names weren’t bad, but their middle names were Wayne and Lee.
Oh, that’s just BAD!
Possibly Named after an Roman Emperor’s partner/great philosopher?
Shrapnell: Small bits of metal/glass/other sharp pointy hurty things.
His powers are obviously shards of wisdom regarding money usage and investments
While working in a second hand shop I sold a play station to Death (Mr De’Ath)
“Because I could not sell to Death
He kindly brought from me”
I’m reminded of a character in the game SLA Industries. There is a nightclub specifically for company operatives. The bouncer at the door is a Shaktar. The Shaktar have no vowels in their language, but they don’t object when other races add vowels to make it easier to pronounce.
The Shaktar’s name is D’th. So, in order to get into the nightclub, you have to pass through “Death’s Door”.
My mother’s maiden name is Bourne. I always told her she should have named me Daemon and my sister Wynter. We would have had the most main characteresque names ever.!! Also, I know a guy who’s first name is Awesome. Really. No idea about his last.
My brother went to high school with a guy named Killsahundred.
Our local weatherman is named “Dallas Raines” (yes, his mother and father both have the surname of “Raines”). He did not miss his calling.
Let’s see. I knew a guy in college whose parents named him Michael Aaron Hole. His drivers license reads Michael A. Hole. The kicker is he’s from Chicago and has been arrested several times being mistaken for ANOTHER Michael A. Hole who lives in Chicago and apparently is into some shit.
I work for Walgreens and until 2 years ago our district manager was a guy named Chuck Berry.
In college I had a boss named Maxwell P. Swango. His daughter could be Werdida Swango.
Then there’s always that old joke from I think the Fresh Prince, if Ivana Trump married Jack Diamond she’d be Ivana Diamond. Then if she divorced him and married Jack Nicholas she could be Ivana Diamond-Nicholas.
Don’t forget her marrying some guy named ‘Darling’ :D
Can remember that scene :D
Back in high school I knew a guy with the last name of “Bacon.”
First name, Kevin, perhaps?
If so, does that mean you made a cameo appearance earlier in this comic, in panel #2 https://www.grrlpowercomic.com/archives/955
I always just took that sort of thing as an extreme example of nominative determinism. I have also been guilty of that myself, naming one of my Speedster charaters Justin Tyme.