Grrl Power #346 – Naming wrongs
I wanted to show Sydney’s immediate reaction once she got past the foaming stage, but the way the dialog flowed we’ll have to wait to the next page to see that. (I am amused by the idea that she has a foaming stage that she regularly exhibits.) Obviously Sydney is easily distracted, but that’s not news to anyone by now.
Shrapnell is a real last name, as is Slaughter, Vetura, Blitzer, Ironside, Savage, Hazard, Fightmaster (not a joke, that’s a real last name) and a host of others that make you think the person missed their calling as a professional wrestler, or if they’re a character in a movie, you just want to roll your eyes. I’ve ranted about super heroes and villains with names that serendipitously match their powers, Telford Porter being just about the worst offender, but obviously Sydney feels differently about it. In fact she’s obviously downright offended when the stars don’t align on the naming front. Even living in a world with actual super powers, the vast majority of people with cool names aren’t going to have powers, so she’d better get used to it.
I encourage people to share the coolest or craziest names you’ve come across, including people who you’d marry just for their last name and then name your kid something rad. (Or lawsuit inducingly awful.) My wife’s last name, for instance, was Warr. If she’d had a daughter she should have named her Cybil.
Here’s the link to the new comments highlighter for chrome, and the GitHub link which you can use to install on FireFox via Greasemonkey.
SuperheroThey're super, thanks for asking!
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SeriouslySeriously you guys. If you like Grrl Power the check these out.
"Mature"Mature subject matter and occasionally something explicit but usually safe. Can't guarantee the ads are safe though.
Dongs Ahoy!Full frontal and backal. Lots of skin, sex on some or all pages, explicit or otherwise.
I once saw the name Steinstø, translates to rock steady, on a tombstone that looked like it would fall over any minute.
also, there is a place called Manglerud that is pronounced the same as “are you missing” in norweigan.
Google translate failed me, but I hope somebody whose name translates to bebop was buried nearby.
Or maybe a member of the Skå clan?
people don’t realize that Shrapnel is the sir name of inventor of frag grenades
Perhaps similar to the guy who invented the sandwich…He was the Earl of Sandwich, of course.
My friends uni prof was named Peter Cosmic.
I hope to NDT that he was an astronomer or astrofysicist?
Hmm. Let us see how he spent his points: Above average in stats, without edging into superhero realm; except, perhaps, in Charisma. Lotsa Money is obviously a huge point sink. Definitely has lots of Connections. Some serious financial/business skills. Probably some psychology. Maybe some minor abilities like Eidetic Memory, and Human Calculator. I could see this guy being built on 200 points in the “Champions” system. Probably wouldn’t need any disadvantages, though.
I relate to this logic.
I can’t really compete with some of the names I’ve been reading here, but I can at least offer my grandmother’s father – his last name was Bobo. My grandfather, meanwhile, had a brother who went by the nickname Dodo, for some reason.
To my everlasting regret, those were not the same person. Dodo Bobo!
Oh, and as a child I had a friend who had two middle names. Adding in his first name gave him the initials WET. My own first and middle names gave me the initials MD, so I was keen to pick up the nickname Doc, but sadly none of my little friends would play along. On the plus side, I wasn’t nicknamed after the disease either.
My sister had a friend Pam who’s initials were P.A.M.
My initials are TAL. I am five feet tall, and taller than both of my parents. For the record, I stopped growing almost 20 years ago.
That sounds logical…Once you reach a certain age, you’re not likely to grow any TAL-ler.
I read somewhere that the definition of an adult is someone who has stopped growing at the ends in favor of growing in the middle. It’s certainly true in my case . . .
Hey, I resemble that remark!
I’m on that ancestry website and, now that I think about it, I do have a few relatives named things like George Washington and Daniel Boone. Obviously, these aren’t the famous folk from the history books, though. These were people from the eighteen hundreds who were named after them. It’s not so unusual to name a child after someone of course, but I have to wonder what a kid’s life would be like if his friends found out his name was George Washington Stewart or Daniel Boone Smith or whatever.
Jokes about cherry trees and wooden teeth would abound, methinks.
As a video game fan, it’s a shame the grandfather with the last name Bobo wasn’t an Albert or Alister or something like that, because A. Bobo would be an awesome way to sign things if he were.
Sorry, he had to sign things M. Bobo.
I can see Merv being Mirv to his friends and online.
When I was born, my mother (well-educated in the classics) wanted me to have the middle name of ‘Suetonius’ (Famous Roman historian).
Thankfully, my very working-class father put his foot down about that one, and I instead got a middle name that would NOT get me beaten up..
Whereas I got saddled by my working class father with very Teutonic & Old Testament names, both first & middle. Mom had wanted something more “normal” but then she was also expecting a girl.
Understandably the other kids thought my name was funny, so I use an Alias.
Too bad they didn’t give you the middle name Tiberius. You would have grown up to be star ship captain.
I just thought of the worlds worst super power; the Hypnovox, a person with this super power has such a horridly boring voice and presence that being near them puts people into a death sleep, with in five meters people pass out, within ten meters people experience the monday blues and time drags by lethargically, within 20 meters people begin to suffer from extreme boredom sickness (vomiting, and screaming in insanity while frothing at the mouth) at 1 km people feel like they are about to go into a bad movie with a really boring friend who spoils all the good scenes and talks about financial stock portfolios through the hole movie in complete stock lingo, terms, and euphemisms.
The Hypnovox the worlds worst superpower to ..be around, possibly have.
That was my Calculus teacher in college. And I had his class first thing after lunch.
The best names I ever saw were in the air force. In basic training there was Sgt Steel, TSgt Hydro, and my TI was SrA Bully. I worked with airman Angel Amen.
I used to work with Jesus de Nazaret. He was a bit of a jerk.
Did he have a ‘holier than thou’ attitude?
My grandmother and her sisters went to school with twins named Rosie and Harry Butts. One summer I met two kids with interesting names while at camp: Forrest Vines and Herakles (as in the Greek way… it was the Romans who named the hero Hercules). Of course, my surname can lead to interesting names as well. I’m a Hash. For example, my brother Mike likes to pronounce his name “My Cash.” For another example, a relative of mine married a woman whose last name was Green. It was the Green-Hash wedding.
They should look up the Primo-Fine family in California. ;D
Is your name not Bruce?
No, Its Michael…
That’s going to cause a little confusion.
Mind if we call you ‘Bruce’ to keep it clear?
No puftas!
Yeah, there’s a sketch that HASN’T aged well, even the Lumberjack song has aged better.
No it’s not because I’m aussie.
Really.
Howls of derisive laughter!
When I was in basic training I met a guy whose name was (not sure on spelling, but it was pronounced like this) Alpha K. Also a Noble Trueblood. Seriously. Alpha was like this giant walking slab of muscle, he could have bench pressed our dormitory. Poor bastard couldnt run for crap though. Trueblood I swear was a genetic experiment in aryan supremacy. 6 and a half feet tall, blond hair blue eyes, seriously fit. If I didnt see his name I would have been certain he was messing with me when he introduced himself. Of course, I knew I was in a monty python sketch when the, ugh, im blanking on his exact position, the major in charge of our training area, turned out to be Major Pyles. I was waiting for General Disarray to show up and introduce me to Captain Planet and Colonel Kettlecorn.
I actually had a Sergeant Major Major in basic training, and served under a Captain Payne. He was promoted to Major Payne after I left the unit.
I had a boss, who had a PhD so his name was Doctor Roger Doktor. Nice guy, we still keep in touch.
For a while, back in the 80’s, I was staying with an elderly Lakota gentleman whose name was Charley Stabs-in-the-Back. His grandson, my friend, with the same surname called himself “Ninja.” Ninja’s mother’s maiden name was Steals-plenty-Horses.
These were, of course, the English names. In Lakota they sounded a lot more dignified – at least to me.
I was in middle school with a guy named Richard Headrick. Poor guy never caught a break; looking back I feel bad for him.
A girl I went to college with married a man named Michael Hunt.
Another guy from college always threatened to name his first son “Chief Justice”. I don’t know whether he followed through on that one.
I had a neighbor named Liberia. She said during last year’s Ebola scare in Dallas, she got a few double-takes when she would give her name.
Finally, I have three great-uncles named YZ, IZ, and IC. Those aren’t initials, that’s just their names.
Wonder if it was the same school I went to in upstate NY. In addition to Mr. Hunt, a good friend of mine married Harry Seaman. Cool guy.
Sydney moment persists!
And in the movie adaptation, Mr. Shrapnel will be played by Jamie Foxx.
Or Steve Harvey.
Did you ever see Law Abiding Citizen? Mr. Shrapnell here is just about a dead-ringer for Jamie Foxx’s character, down to the facial hair. The gold-framed glasses are a tasteful and character-appropriate addition, of course.
One year at Otakon I got to talk to Comfort Love and Adam Withers at their table in Artists’ Alley. It turns out that not only is Comfort Love her birth name, she also has a brother who’s a doctor.
When my son was born, one of the kids also on the baby list that week was named “Jayden Danger”.
“Scared? Heck no! My middle name is Danger! Seriously… look right here on my birth certificate…”
Actually I work as a birth registrar in NY and let me tell you, there is no end to the unusual things people name their children. More importantly though, is that you have the unrestricted power to name your child anything, and I mean ANYTHING. So if your last name is Smith, their is nothing (outside of convention) preventing you from giving your child the last name Killer or Destructo or anything else.
I don’t know if the rule holds for naming children, but the legal rules for changing one’s own name have basically three restrictions, for Ohio at least.
1) It can’t be an attempt to evade debts or arrest (probably does not apply for newborn)
2) It can’t be ‘patently obscene’, so you can’t change your name to ‘F*ck You’.
3) It can’t be something that would be ‘the object of public ridicule’ (so they won’t let you change your name to ‘Easter Bunny’.
Ooh, I forgot another good one. I know a police officer by the name of Rob Banks. He’s Officer Rob Banks
I’ve known a few people with cool names during my time in the Forces. I was on my Basic with a guy named Maxedon, which I thought was kind of awesome even though he was kind of boring. I’ve also known a Steele.
My full legal name when written out and translated reads as “War God’s Holy Man on Battlefield”. That’s using the first, middle, and last names in that order.
oh good a cleric
The important question is: Can the War God’s cleric heal the wounds of an adventuring party?
So your name is Mars Prophet… uh… Warplain?
Close, I’m part Swedish…so you need Swedish variations of the names. My last name literally means “field of bones and stream of blood”.
My father went to school with guy by the name of Audley (pronounced oddly) Queer.
Also, in my hometown, there is a lawfirm of Sauce & Tardy. So your lawyers are Drunk and Late.
Reminds me of the old Three Stooges lawyer firm… Dewey, Hookem and Howe. LOL
One of our larger local estate agents is run by a Mr Crook and a Mr Blight ^.^
Unless they recycled the joke I think it’s actually Dewey, Cheatem and Howe.
Oh a wise guy hunh?
When I said it earlier, I mentioned that it was a fictional law firm. I originally saw it in the 3rd Leisure Suit Larry game…
Nope. Older still.
If you didn’t get my reference, it’s from the Three Stooges.
(you probably won’t see this, but oh well._
When I was working at a call center I got some pretty funny names; the most memorable being an army Private named Seaman and a woman named Fancy Bush. You can get some mileage out my own last name as well. It’s Gurr.
You should sing the doom song
Jessica Ivahna Drinkwater.
Justin Case. He was the second child.
I knew a guy by the name of Angel Pagan. He was working on becoming an aircraft pilot.
Actually, he likely became a baseball player:
https://www.baseball-reference.com/players/p/paganan01.shtml
A former principle chief of the Cherokee tribe is named Wilma Mankiller…
Lots of weird last names in that tribe… Drywaters, Peacheater, Roastingears, the list goes on…
My landlord says his great aunts, who were twins, were named Ima Hogg and Ura Hogg
I kid you not… My grandmother had sibling cousins names Seymour Legg and Ophelia Legg. I also went to church with a family with the last name “Shores”. Husband: Sunny. Wife: Sandy. Daughter: Windy.
Also worked with a woman named Lovie Shinholster.
My mom’s friend’s baby was delivered by a Dr. Payne. My dad had a dentist of the same name.
A Highschool Classmate was named, I kid you not, Harry Dick, named after his grandfather, named after his grand father, who had the road named after him, Harry Dick rd.
Well, I believe I’ve already mentioned Kent Clark (Bizarro Superman’s secret ID).
When I was in the US Navy, I came up with most of the good nicknames. Ed the Head, Nick the Wad, Lou the Spew, The Big Fig (his last name was Figueroa and he was tall) “No Neck”. Nick the Wad’s division chief was filling out some paperwork once and was saying, “Nick, Nick… What the heck is his last name again?” Couldn’t remember his actual name, or that his last name was Nicholls which is where the Nick part came from.
The one that we did the furthest stretch was probably Pete. His last name was Dumaine, but he was from New Hampshire, so we started calling him Duhampshire, but that was too long, and vaguely French-ish, so we started calling him Pierre, but it got switched to Pete. I forget his actual first name, but it was Bill or something like that.
Must amusing nickname fail was Junior. His full nickname was Junior Assistant Slug, uhh, lets say “Friend”. Anyway we mostly called him Junior. Of course the Captain heard everybody call him Junior, and assumed that was part of his actual name. The Captain wrote him a letter of commendation for something, and sent a copy to his parents. So his parents wrote him and asked him what all this “Junior” stuff was about. He was really ticked at the rest of us for a while since he couldn’t think of a good lie and actually told them the real nickname.
Oh, and there was the guy with the last name Ligus who swore up and down that his mother’s first name was Connie.
While working an office job years ago, I came across a client named Maximillian Dettelbecker. I loved this name so much that when I changed my name in 2009, I almost stole his name.
Growing up in Columbus, Ohio in the 1960’s I would check the phone book every year… and there he was, year after year… Tony Batman. I never called him, I figured he was busy fighting crime and stuff.
Some friends of mine named their son Maxwell Danger, so he could say his middle name was danger…
Not sure if anyone else said this, but Melbourne, Australia was founded by a man actually named John Batman.
The city was originally called Batmania, and has places named after him, like Batman’s Hill, Batman Bridge, and Batman Park. The original founding document is called “Batman’s Treaty”.
We should’ve stuck with Batmania! Think about it, it already pretty much says “Batman theme park”, the tourist dollars alone would be amazing!
Wel Hung.
fellow classmate, in high school, Cambodian girl.
A girl named Wel Hung? These transgenders can be sooo confusing…
;)
When I was stationed at Fort Polk Louisiana I witnessed an accident and stopped to assist. The Military Policeman who responded had the last name of Provost. I jokingly asked him if his first name was Marshall. Open mouth, insert foot. It WAS. Marshall Provost. An MP named Marshall Provost. (The highest ranking MP on post is usually the Provost Marshal and the MP Station is usually called the PMO or Provost Marshal’s Office). Throughout my career I ran into many interesting name combiniations most notably Private Sergeant, Sergeant Sargent, Sergeant Major and Lieutenant Sergeant.