Grrl Power #346 – Naming wrongs
I wanted to show Sydney’s immediate reaction once she got past the foaming stage, but the way the dialog flowed we’ll have to wait to the next page to see that. (I am amused by the idea that she has a foaming stage that she regularly exhibits.) Obviously Sydney is easily distracted, but that’s not news to anyone by now.
Shrapnell is a real last name, as is Slaughter, Vetura, Blitzer, Ironside, Savage, Hazard, Fightmaster (not a joke, that’s a real last name) and a host of others that make you think the person missed their calling as a professional wrestler, or if they’re a character in a movie, you just want to roll your eyes. I’ve ranted about super heroes and villains with names that serendipitously match their powers, Telford Porter being just about the worst offender, but obviously Sydney feels differently about it. In fact she’s obviously downright offended when the stars don’t align on the naming front. Even living in a world with actual super powers, the vast majority of people with cool names aren’t going to have powers, so she’d better get used to it.
I encourage people to share the coolest or craziest names you’ve come across, including people who you’d marry just for their last name and then name your kid something rad. (Or lawsuit inducingly awful.) My wife’s last name, for instance, was Warr. If she’d had a daughter she should have named her Cybil.
Here’s the link to the new comments highlighter for chrome, and the GitHub link which you can use to install on FireFox via Greasemonkey.
My favorite example is from the Philippines where a person with the last name of Sin joined the church and worked his way up to become Cardinal Sin. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jaime_Sin
At my workplace we had until recently a person from China whose name, and I am not making this up, is Dong Wang. I am sure it is a perfectly fine name in his native language, but in English not so much.
There was a guy in my high school named Long Dong. Also knew a Chinese guy named Gong. Asked him if he had heard of the group Power Station. Then asked him if he had a sister.
I keep a list on my computer of unusual but attractive (IMO) names for any potential kids I have. There are 4 “Mike”s in my extended family and in highschool there were 5 “Chris”s in my math class. Not gonna repeat that if I can help it.
Also, I used to work in a job where I saw lots of names, and apparently 40-80 years ago people were both really bad at creativity, and really liked alliteration. I saw multiple “John Johnson”s and the like.
In my old gaming club (New South Wales Wargamers Association, RIP), the elected committee ended up with five out of six people named Mike or Michael. One member actually proposed that it be put in the club rules that ALL committee members be called Mike whether they really were or not.
My last name is literally Powers. I’ve always felt like I’ve been short changed by the universe by not getting rad superpowers.
At least tell us you live in Austin.
Then introduce yourself by: “My name is [name] Powers, of the Austin Powers”
The best name I ever ran across was Alfonzo Garbonzo Wildstag. No.. I’m not kidding..
I had a teacher named Mr. Nuss. Mr. Richard Peter Nuss. Dick P. Nuss. His parents were sadistic.
I’ve always liked the name Ima Hogg. She was the daughter of a governor of Texas. See: https://tshaonline.org/publications/books/31531
Lessee now…
…Comedian Tim Allen uses his MIDDLE name professionally, but the LAST name on his birth certificate is “Dick”.
…During the run of the TV-comedy series, “Rowan & Martin’s LAUGH-IN”, funny name-combinations were all the rage, as in:
“…if Darth Vader married Ella Fitzgerald, she’d be – Ella Vader!”
I’ve said it elsewhere, but I’ll repeat it here:
…if I knew that I was having a daughter, I’d legally change my last name to “Handbasket” – just so I could name her “Helena”!
Or your last name could be changed to Weals & still name her Helena…
Two examples from sports:
1) Randy Johnson. This not being enough, somewhere along the way he picked up a nickname… The Big Unit.
2) Multiple American football players name Stonebreaker and Stoneburner.
How about Dick Butkus?
Three sibling names I met were “Robin, Hunter, Tanner”. As in, Robin the bird, Hunter the Hunter, and Tanner that tans the hides of animals.
“You just came into a whole lot of money – here’s your financial adviser” sounds like an excellent idea to me, especially for Sidney. In the real world, lots of financial advisers try to get hold of the newly-wealthy like just-signed pro-sports stars (easy to find, probably don’t already have the service) and some of the “advisers” are actually quite scummy. I think I remember that some baseball teams actually give new players anti-scam training, too.
Seriously doubt he would be one of the ‘scummy’ ones
Back in boot camp we had a girl with the last name of Major, so she was Private Major. Not sure how long she stayed in.
Can you imagine what things would e like if she stayed in long enough to make Sergent.
In the novel ‘Catch-22’, there is a character with the surname of Major.
At birth, his supremely dick-ish father gives him the first and middle names of Major (the novel comments on how he could have at least gone for ‘Drumm’ or ‘C Sharp’ Major).
Major Major Major enlists in the military and, almost inevitably, someone makes him a Major. During his Basic Training, in fact.
So, he ends uo being Major Major Major Major.
I actually worked with a Max Power.
You did NOT work for Homer!
Actually… wait.. Lenny? Carl? Izzat you?
My dentist goes by the last name “Grob”, which translates into “rough”, “brutal” or “raw” in english.
He says he had deliberately chosen his profession because of his name.
Friend of mine told me about about someone he knew who was named Blake Justice. Always sounded like a great name for a hero.
Also, I am Native American, and there was a girl in high school who was disappointed to know that I didn’t have an Indian Name (I was like, “What, White Cloud or something?’) Though there are some cool Native American surnames like Mankiller.
Never actually met her, but there was a “Silver Bluedragon” that lived in one of the hippie enclaves of my old town…
I knew a Larry Snowwhite and an Ed Hamburger. They couldn’t touch the boy in 3rd grade (british, with lisp) named Leslie Lipps, however. And oh, how big and red were his lips? They were aerosmith-level lips. Poor guy.
Not so much crazy names, as crazily appropriate. My kid’s first pediatrician was Dr. Livingood. At the same time, our pastor was Rev. Goodpasture.
Used to work for a mail-order company several years ago…. Still remember once talking to a Mrs. Fuque (which she pronounced foo-QUAY) and seeing a mailing label for a Ms. Burns-Bridges.
My sister once had a client named “Rosa Schlüpfer”. This would be German for “Pink Panties”.
On a differant note, I wonder if any one warned the financial advisor about Sydney before he went looking for her?
Part of me would like to think they didn’t just for the potential lolz. XD
My good friend Casey Legg does not have a cool name. Unlike his older brother Harold and his older sister Peggy.
A friend in highschool was called Huy Huynh (pronounced We Win). His sister Carol is a wrestler and won gold at the olympics.
Funniest name I saw was a ben and ilene dover. He was born with it but she married into it.
Now THAT’S true love right there.
Further adventures in odd names. My brother had a math teacher named Mary Christmas. I always wondered if she did that deliberately when she married her husband, or just didn’t realize until after.
My favorite naming issue was when I did Track in high school. When people call you to the field events, they always name off the next three people (so you know to get ready) with the formula “Name up, Name2 on deck, Name3 in the hole.” There was a girl with the last name of Cox…
Naming your kid Mervin is a guarentee that your kid is going to be stuffed into his locker and eventually become the Evil Mad Scientist who will cause the zombie apokalipse…just saying.
Except that his name is actually Merv Shrapnel. That last name sort of takes away from the nerdy vibe.
In that case, eventually becoming a mad scientist wouldn’t involve zombies, but an Earth-shattering Doomsday Bomb.
“Where’s the Ka-boom? There was supposed to be an earth-shattering Ka-boom!”
~Marvin the Martian
Finland has few such names. Right now my father lives with woman whose family name is Svärd
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lotta_Sv%C3%A4rd_(poem)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lotta_Sv%C3%A4rd
I once knew a girl in camp named Summer Frost. Its irritaring that she could not control weather or maje snow or ice or anything like that
Somewhere out there is someone named Mortimer D’Eath. And, if you think I’m being silly, I always thought that Pratchett made up the name D’Eath only to find out it is a real name along with Weatherwax and Ogg.
I should add…Shrapnel was named after Major-General Henry Shrapnel, the inventor of the Shrapnel Shell…
A friend of my grandfather was named “Heinrich XXXVIII. Reuss – ältere Linie (=elder line). How can you have a name like that and have a pedigree like the queen´s own corgies and not be a dog?
I knew a guy named Innocent, a girl named Joyous Israel (her whole family is like that), a guy named Benjamin Franklin Sequoya…
There’s a football player named Mercilus, one named Anger…
As names go I always felt my Mum and uncle got the shit end of the stick with Anne and Alex Cockaday. I’m just glad she didn’t hyphen with my Dad’s then I would be dunn-cockaday…. oh good god am I glad I came around before hyphening was a thing
I worked with a woman called Robyn, who married into the name Banks, could be worse though.. She told me that her ex boyfriends surname was Graves.
I used to work for a veterinarian named Dr. Catt.
Yes, I’ve read about Master Sergeant Max Fightmaster.
There was a girl at my high school named “English Sylvester.” No joke. That’s her real name. Her “nickname” was Spanish Tweety. :D
I also had a classmate named Scout (she admitted her mom was a fan of To Kill a Mockingbird) and Precious. One of my friends in college was named Honor.
I once knew a Ms. Manlove
If she has a son and names him Boyd, then she hates her child.
I have absolutely nothing to add to this conversation >_<
See you Monday.
Is that Nana to Karou? High five!
I just clicked on your name and found out it leads to a word press about that, I feel kinda stupid now. Still an awesome manga, though!
Next chapter should be out sometime Sunday. :)
If you and your wife have a daughter, there is literally nothing stopping you from naming her Cybil Warr, unless you’re strict traditionalists. I’m not entirely sure how it works where you live, but in Canada, a married woman can use her maiden name, or assume her husbands name with exactly zero paperwork, she just has to be consistent in her official (i.e. tax) filings. To legally change her last name requires A declaration in family court, and some paperwork and fees, so most people just skip it. In any case, your kids should be able to go by either last name, and what goes on their birth certificate is largely up to the two of you…
In America a woman when she marries may keep her name (no paperwork), take his name (just file the change), or hyphenate (again just file). To change at any other time requires a court appearance, notification in the local newspaper, fees and filings..
Is that just for women in the US? Only had to fill in a Deed Poll form and pay the fee
This guy…
https://giveitlove.com/wp-content/uploads/Matthew-Correspondent.jpg
I believe there was also a sex offender who’s last name was Love, and there was a news report where they called him ‘Mister Love’
Also…. this neurologist at Oxford.
https://i0.wp.com/i.imgur.com/keql0Ee.jpg
And I’m pretty sure I read something once where there’s a Mr. Perv who teaches third grade, and a Mrs Rape that teaches a kindergarten class.
Obviously a supervillain.
“What do you want to do tonight, Brain?”
“Same thing we do every night, Pinky. try to take over the world.”