Grrl Power #1345 – Hack or slash
I mean really, why not an axe and a sword? It’s not like Maxima really has an encumbrance limit. The real limit is just how much stuff she can situate on her back before it gets in the way of doing her normal field work. A bag of holding would solve that issue as well, but the dungeon is a long way from being able to produce dimensional alchemical supplies. You need the stomach of a JumpJerk at a minimum. They’re like goblins that can do short teleports and they like stabbing people in the butt, but they’re about a 3.5 on the 9 point monster scale. You know, like “Lower Lower Class” all the way up to “Upper Upper Class.” Except most worlds with magic don’t label stuff like that. They’ll use Iron through Platinum, or sometimes they stick with metal until the top rank then switch to Diamond for some reason. Or they’ll do F through S Ranks. That’s still only 7 ranks though. But “Mundane” is an unranked rank, and jumping into the Divine arena is a whole other rank, or really a whole other scale you have to start climbing all over again, but F-S plus Mundane and Divine makes for 9.
The point is, if Dabbler hands Maxima a 7′ horse killer Berserk sword, she’ll have to actually carry it around with her, and that’s going to be really awkward. Also for some reason in our modern age, a cop, excuse me, gendarme with a gun is perfectly okay. But law enforcement walking around with a vicious melee weapon, that’s a harder sell. Especially the first time Maxima bisects some super powered bank robber. That’s going to be a rough week for the P.R. team.
Oh! I know. Give Max one of those swords that also turns into a bladed whip, Ivy style. Only instead of sword segments, use double headed battle-axe blades. Yup. I see no possible drawback to that.
System Delenda Est 3 is out. I recommended SDE 1 a little bit back when the Audiobook came out. SDE2 audiobook is out as well, so you can grab that if you like. If you don’t recall from my first recommendation, I fucking love the premise of this series. Instead of yet another System Apocalypse story, i.e., the system comes to Earth and civilization implodes and billions die, but hey, the main character gets to level up and be awesome, this story takes place after all that happened and Earth actually fought The System off of Earth, and the main character is looking to make sure it can never come back and destroy civilization all over again. This entails taking down The System in its entirety across all of known space. That seems like an incredibly daunting task, especially since high level System users can outright ignore nearly all physics, and the MC can’t level up within The System without it learning all of his tricks. And speaking of tricks, when I said Earth fought off The System, I mean an Earth of some indeterminate future where shit has gotten advanced. And when I say advanced, I mean like Enceladus, Jupiter’s moon Enceladus is, in it’s entirety, an unshackled AI of incomprehensible capability. The MC starts the adventure as a five ton Kaiju, and eventually winds up in orbit where he deploys exponential manufacturing capabilities and starts taking on high level System users with orbital mass driver strikes, and it is fucking fantastic.
The author, Inadvisably Compelled, has another good series, “Paranoid Mage” which has the MC discover the supernatural world around him, or rather, the supernatural world discovers him and the fact that he’s an unawakened/untrained mage (I don’t recall the exact details as it’s been a while since I read it). Anyway, they attempt to tell the MC how things are going to be, and the MC nopes right on out of there. And when they come after him, he winds up having to kill like half of the council of supernatural butt-asses before everyone is like, “Naw it’s cool. Do your own thing, bra.” It’s obvious to me the author has issues with authority, and that’s something I identify with.
I’m going to try something with this new vote incentive.
This month, I’m closing on a new house, selling my Mom’s house, finishing packing Mom’s house, moving city to city to the new house, forwarding mail, canceling utilities, all that. And after that’s done, I get to start the process of selling my old house, which needs a little work before it can realistically go on the market.
SO. I’m going to try and do this vote incentive in stages. Currently it’s just pencils. The TopWebcomics one will update with colors and detail until we get to the no clothes versions, then that will continue over at Patreon. Also there will be a comic or two in between each version to fill out the story.
I know it’s hard to tell from just the pencils, but this is Heatwave and Jiggawatt. The comics will explain why they’re doing what they’re doing. Although I feel like even saying that much makes it easy to guess, but hopefully the journey will still amuse.
Double res version will be posted over at Patreon. Feel free to contribute as much as you like.
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Meatspace ComicSeriously these are awesome. Check 'em out!
Not UpdatingNo longer updating or only updates sporadically, but definitely worth reading.
SeriouslySeriously you guys. If you like Grrl Power the check these out.
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Dongs Ahoy!Full frontal and backal. Lots of skin, sex on some or all pages, explicit or otherwise.
Shadiversity did a video on the best weapon for super-strength years ago, arguing the axe increased applied force but the sword’s edge was more functional (I think, it’s been a while).
I think the actual answer is a cartoon scimitar: heavy top end with a full length edge (ex. Disney Aladdin).
Poleaxe or halberd with a dagger as a backup weapon for close combat. :)
Would the better question be which would be best in a tighter area, the axe in that case. If you have more room the sword may be more useful as it can also be used to swing or pierce through something. Both are useful.
spiked mace?
Maybe a goedendag?
Honestly, maybe she’d be best off if Dabbler could find her Son Wukong’s staff. If you can swing it hard enough, it hardly even needs an edge.
Khopesh. Axe-and-sword, essentially. More control than an axe, more striking force than a sword, and has hooking and control options that a bearded axe has. Plus, it’d look AWESOME with Maxima’s “Golden Body” thing.
But yeah. Thething about swords is that they’re, in general, optimized for combat against unarmored foes, and unless you’ve got one that’s unbreakable, it’s not going to have as much UTILITY as almost anything else- axe, hammer, big stick with or without pointy bit… Sword is mostly ‘hurt living things’ as a weapon. An axe, on the other hand, is the desired tool of perhaps the most heroic branch of civil service- Firefighters.
You forgot the most important part, with an axe she could AXE the villains some questions.
lets have some more sharp whit before the Koalas come.
Fighting in tunnels doesn’t call for a weapon that needs a lot of room to swing. Take a spear or pike for the narrow places, and for versatility and backup bring a sword with both point and edge. If you’re going to be in wide open space though, polearm.
What about an épée or esto, a thrusting sword? Same idea as a spear, to concentrate all that massive striking power into a point. If made of Max survivable material, even striking with a non-sharp edge would be quite damaging.
Whatever weapon is used, given Maxima’s strength, it must be made of extremely and possibly alien/magical/otherwise fantastical material, otherwise there is no point. Speaking of which, it must be pointed or edged (or both) and offer some leverage. I agree that the aforementioned polearm is the best option, provided it meets the above criteria.
Maxima also needs to train to use it expertly. Any weapon that one doesn’t know how to use well (i.e., intuitively) is a weapon of your opponent.
Maxima is not just super strength, she very specifically can switch between different attributes to pump. A sword has versatility that an axe doesn’t have. Pick the sword, make it a big sword. Or better yet, a halberd. That would actually be a better choice.
Also, thank you for that Weird Al Yankovic reference. It’s brightened my day.
For a minute I thought that was an Iron War Axe from Skyrim. I actually had to look it up to compare to confirm that it wasn’t, lol.
Malleus, from the _Wearing the Cape_ series. Archangel blessing optional.
Inadvisably Compelled wrote another series before Paranoid Mage.
“Blue Core”, which is more your typical isekai stuff, with skills and levels, except the MC is a sentient dungeon core.
It is also…
S P I CI E R then the other two series you mentioned, featuring the obligatory human, fox girl, and dragon mommy, but in addition, a deer girl who should really be named “Bakery”.
Now, I’m not really a fan of mindless smut, so I was actually quite surprised when someone I trust recommended I try reading it.
The spicy chapters are actually used to enhance characterization, with each scene setup and execution completely in character with the characters involved.
Dave made a drawing of training sword. He should look up some real historical knightly arming swords.
*Puts on SCA hat*
The sword is a more technical weapon, compared to the axe. Making full use of it requires a great deal more training and practice, and that’s before taking into account the enormous variety of swords, with their specific purposes. As an example, the basket-hilted rapier of the 17th & 18th centuries existed largely because the firearm had rendered armor largely pointless, and would have wholly unsuited for the Roman Legions, whose gladius was designed specifically for close quarters infantry fighting in a shield wall formation, where the foundational technique is “step, stab, repeat.”
The axe is simpler, and as a practical matter far more familiar to the general population, historically speaking. Axes are also generally cheaper & easier to produce, and as mentioned _do_ focus force more effectively. But the fact remains that an axe is a tool first, and weapon second. One will notice that axes designed to be more effective weapons are less effective as tools, and start more resembling curved swords, or pole arms. Additionally, while the axe is typically simpler and less technical as a weapon, it is _also_ less capable, in that you have fewer techniques you can use in combat. As an example, your defensive option with an axe is pretty much limited to “get out of the way.” Blocking risks damaging the haft, and axes aren’t typically agile enough to attempt a parry. This is why two handed axes are so uncommon in the field. You really want a free hand to carry a shield, when your weapon is an axe.
Speaking of free hands, let’s talk about two weapon fighting.
It. Is. Hard.
Fighting with two weapons does, theoretically, increase your offensive potential, but learning to constantly coordinate takes years of consistent training. Most people simply never develop the ability to effectively use their off-hand effectively for offense, and even using it defensively is a struggle for most. There’s a reason the Florentine Style typically refers to the off-hand short blade as a parrying dagger, and why said parrying daggers are mostly guard. Trying to use two long blades simultaneously is nightmarish, and yes, I am speaking from experience. The prospect of “sword & axe” is even worse. The sword would need to be in your dominant hand to be useful offensively, and an axe in your off-hand is going to be next-to impossible to control sufficiently for making useful strikes, and completely useless defensively. You’d better off with an empty hand, to grab an opponent, or double-grip the sword. If you wield the axe with your dominant hand, and put the sword in off-hand, you’ve got a long metal bar you _might_ be able to deflect some blows with, and which _will_ interfere with your ability to swing your axe effectively. Again, you’re better off with a free hand.
Okay, now that the Negative Nancy stuff is out of the way, I’ll share my “Successful Two Weapon Fighting Story.”
I once had a moment of inspiration at an SCA event, after watching a series of bouts where a particular fighter was dominating. In his defense, he was clearly very well practiced with sword & board…but he was also being a bit of a lout, bragging and taunting people. I’d been watching for a few hours, whilst cooking & serving, and after some admittedly drunken encouragement from my friends, decided to have a tilt at the bastard. I armored up, but instead of grabbing my great sword (my preferred weapon) I picked up a mace and a hand axe. When the marshal started the bout, took a half-step back, in a defensive posture. My opponent stepped in, leading with his shield, in a bid to keeping me retreating. I then used the axe to hook his shield and pulled him forward, and stepped around him, letting him trip over my leg. I drubbed the back of his helmet with the mace, and that was that.
You will notice, however, that this bout had me using the axe not as a weapon, but as a tool. I actually struck with my off-hand, using the mace, because a mace requires the least effort to control, with no edge or point to aim. Also, I doubt he’d have fallen for the same trick twice, nor would anyone else who saw me do it.
Incidentally, I was not the only one to humble him that day, and he still walked away with the prize when it was over.
So many western weapons mentioned…you all forget, the Eastern weapons. Like, a Quan dao, or any of the larger variations put of China, or a Naginata. Or tetsubo. Even the cliche Katana, wakizashi, even a basic tanto.
I personally prefer maces when it comes to applying force to something, not flanged maces, the kind you see with the 4 “blades” coming off the shaft, but more the large heavy metal bit at the end. Maybe a morning star if you’re feeling extra spiky, and not the flail version, that’s just asking for trouble. With the mace you could also put a spike on the top if you need to do any piercing damage.
Anyone else disappointed that we haven’t seen what Dabbler is wearing on her bottom? There’s a big arrow pointing downwards beneath “DEPOSITS ACCEPTED IN REAR” on the back of her shirt, and I don’t believe Dabbler would pass up the opportunity for more humor. Or that there isn’t a reason we haven’t seen it yet.