Grrl Power #1345 – Hack or slash
I mean really, why not an axe and a sword? It’s not like Maxima really has an encumbrance limit. The real limit is just how much stuff she can situate on her back before it gets in the way of doing her normal field work. A bag of holding would solve that issue as well, but the dungeon is a long way from being able to produce dimensional alchemical supplies. You need the stomach of a JumpJerk at a minimum. They’re like goblins that can do short teleports and they like stabbing people in the butt, but they’re about a 3.5 on the 9 point monster scale. You know, like “Lower Lower Class” all the way up to “Upper Upper Class.” Except most worlds with magic don’t label stuff like that. They’ll use Iron through Platinum, or sometimes they stick with metal until the top rank then switch to Diamond for some reason. Or they’ll do F through S Ranks. That’s still only 7 ranks though. But “Mundane” is an unranked rank, and jumping into the Divine arena is a whole other rank, or really a whole other scale you have to start climbing all over again, but F-S plus Mundane and Divine makes for 9.
The point is, if Dabbler hands Maxima a 7′ horse killer Berserk sword, she’ll have to actually carry it around with her, and that’s going to be really awkward. Also for some reason in our modern age, a cop, excuse me, gendarme with a gun is perfectly okay. But law enforcement walking around with a vicious melee weapon, that’s a harder sell. Especially the first time Maxima bisects some super powered bank robber. That’s going to be a rough week for the P.R. team.
Oh! I know. Give Max one of those swords that also turns into a bladed whip, Ivy style. Only instead of sword segments, use double headed battle-axe blades. Yup. I see no possible drawback to that.
System Delenda Est 3 is out. I recommended SDE 1 a little bit back when the Audiobook came out. SDE2 audiobook is out as well, so you can grab that if you like. If you don’t recall from my first recommendation, I fucking love the premise of this series. Instead of yet another System Apocalypse story, i.e., the system comes to Earth and civilization implodes and billions die, but hey, the main character gets to level up and be awesome, this story takes place after all that happened and Earth actually fought The System off of Earth, and the main character is looking to make sure it can never come back and destroy civilization all over again. This entails taking down The System in its entirety across all of known space. That seems like an incredibly daunting task, especially since high level System users can outright ignore nearly all physics, and the MC can’t level up within The System without it learning all of his tricks. And speaking of tricks, when I said Earth fought off The System, I mean an Earth of some indeterminate future where shit has gotten advanced. And when I say advanced, I mean like Enceladus, Jupiter’s moon Enceladus is, in it’s entirety, an unshackled AI of incomprehensible capability. The MC starts the adventure as a five ton Kaiju, and eventually winds up in orbit where he deploys exponential manufacturing capabilities and starts taking on high level System users with orbital mass driver strikes, and it is fucking fantastic.
The author, Inadvisably Compelled, has another good series, “Paranoid Mage” which has the MC discover the supernatural world around him, or rather, the supernatural world discovers him and the fact that he’s an unawakened/untrained mage (I don’t recall the exact details as it’s been a while since I read it). Anyway, they attempt to tell the MC how things are going to be, and the MC nopes right on out of there. And when they come after him, he winds up having to kill like half of the council of supernatural butt-asses before everyone is like, “Naw it’s cool. Do your own thing, bra.” It’s obvious to me the author has issues with authority, and that’s something I identify with.
I’m going to try something with this new vote incentive.
This month, I’m closing on a new house, selling my Mom’s house, finishing packing Mom’s house, moving city to city to the new house, forwarding mail, canceling utilities, all that. And after that’s done, I get to start the process of selling my old house, which needs a little work before it can realistically go on the market.
SO. I’m going to try and do this vote incentive in stages. Currently it’s just pencils. The TopWebcomics one will update with colors and detail until we get to the no clothes versions, then that will continue over at Patreon. Also there will be a comic or two in between each version to fill out the story.
I know it’s hard to tell from just the pencils, but this is Heatwave and Jiggawatt. The comics will explain why they’re doing what they’re doing. Although I feel like even saying that much makes it easy to guess, but hopefully the journey will still amuse.
Double res version will be posted over at Patreon. Feel free to contribute as much as you like.
SuperheroThey're super, thanks for asking!
Meatspace ComicSeriously these are awesome. Check 'em out!
Not UpdatingNo longer updating or only updates sporadically, but definitely worth reading.
SeriouslySeriously you guys. If you like Grrl Power the check these out.
"Mature"Mature subject matter and occasionally something explicit but usually safe. Can't guarantee the ads are safe though.
Dongs Ahoy!Full frontal and backal. Lots of skin, sex on some or all pages, explicit or otherwise.
Shadiversity did a video on the best weapon for super-strength years ago, arguing the axe increased applied force but the sword’s edge was more functional (I think, it’s been a while).
I think the actual answer is a cartoon scimitar: heavy top end with a full length edge (ex. Disney Aladdin).
Poleaxe or halberd with a dagger as a backup weapon for close combat. :)
Would the better question be which would be best in a tighter area, the axe in that case. If you have more room the sword may be more useful as it can also be used to swing or pierce through something. Both are useful.
Wouldn’t the problem be that any normal weapon would shatter from the force imparted?
spiked mace?
Maybe a goedendag?
Honestly, maybe she’d be best off if Dabbler could find her Son Wukong’s staff. If you can swing it hard enough, it hardly even needs an edge.
Excellent notion! An unbreakable, studded staff is pretty much the ideal weapon for her. Give it a means of separating and re-connecting, so she can switch to two-weapon style in close quarters.
Khopesh. Axe-and-sword, essentially. More control than an axe, more striking force than a sword, and has hooking and control options that a bearded axe has. Plus, it’d look AWESOME with Maxima’s “Golden Body” thing.
But yeah. Thething about swords is that they’re, in general, optimized for combat against unarmored foes, and unless you’ve got one that’s unbreakable, it’s not going to have as much UTILITY as almost anything else- axe, hammer, big stick with or without pointy bit… Sword is mostly ‘hurt living things’ as a weapon. An axe, on the other hand, is the desired tool of perhaps the most heroic branch of civil service- Firefighters.
You forgot the most important part, with an axe she could AXE the villains some questions.
lets have some more sharp whit before the Koalas come.
Ooo axe then. She can show it off to her “boyfriend” the firefighter/medic.
Fighting in tunnels doesn’t call for a weapon that needs a lot of room to swing. Take a spear or pike for the narrow places, and for versatility and backup bring a sword with both point and edge. If you’re going to be in wide open space though, polearm.
What about an épée or esto, a thrusting sword? Same idea as a spear, to concentrate all that massive striking power into a point. If made of Max survivable material, even striking with a non-sharp edge would be quite damaging.
Whatever weapon is used, given Maxima’s strength, it must be made of extremely and possibly alien/magical/otherwise fantastical material, otherwise there is no point. Speaking of which, it must be pointed or edged (or both) and offer some leverage. I agree that the aforementioned polearm is the best option, provided it meets the above criteria.
Maxima also needs to train to use it expertly. Any weapon that one doesn’t know how to use well (i.e., intuitively) is a weapon of your opponent.
This was my thought. Whatever Maxima wields is going to have to be resilient enough to allow her to go all out with her strength, or it’ll be useless. Weight will also be irrelevant, since the forces she’s going to generate will be so much greater than any momentum.
As for the actual thing, if it’s basically invulnerable, then a sword is going to be a better option, since it’s got a lot more edges, allowing her to potentially concentrate the force of her strikes in a variety of directions, while also extending her reach.
Maxima is not just super strength, she very specifically can switch between different attributes to pump. A sword has versatility that an axe doesn’t have. Pick the sword, make it a big sword. Or better yet, a halberd. That would actually be a better choice.
Also, thank you for that Weird Al Yankovic reference. It’s brightened my day.
For a minute I thought that was an Iron War Axe from Skyrim. I actually had to look it up to compare to confirm that it wasn’t, lol.
Malleus, from the _Wearing the Cape_ series. Archangel blessing optional.
Inadvisably Compelled wrote another series before Paranoid Mage.
“Blue Core”, which is more your typical isekai stuff, with skills and levels, except the MC is a sentient dungeon core.
It is also…
S P I CI E R then the other two series you mentioned, featuring the obligatory human, fox girl, and dragon mommy, but in addition, a deer girl who should really be named “Bakery”.
Now, I’m not really a fan of mindless smut, so I was actually quite surprised when someone I trust recommended I try reading it.
The spicy chapters are actually used to enhance characterization, with each scene setup and execution completely in character with the characters involved.
I love the 3 series recommended, but I’d give a word of warning that the first smut scene is by far the one that makes least sense and comes with a trainload of unfortunate implications that the story kind of lamely tries to justify afterwards as anything other than abuse.
Dave made a drawing of training sword. He should look up some real historical knightly arming swords.
*Puts on SCA hat*
The sword is a more technical weapon, compared to the axe. Making full use of it requires a great deal more training and practice, and that’s before taking into account the enormous variety of swords, with their specific purposes. As an example, the basket-hilted rapier of the 17th & 18th centuries existed largely because the firearm had rendered armor largely pointless, and would have wholly unsuited for the Roman Legions, whose gladius was designed specifically for close quarters infantry fighting in a shield wall formation, where the foundational technique is “step, stab, repeat.”
The axe is simpler, and as a practical matter far more familiar to the general population, historically speaking. Axes are also generally cheaper & easier to produce, and as mentioned _do_ focus force more effectively. But the fact remains that an axe is a tool first, and weapon second. One will notice that axes designed to be more effective weapons are less effective as tools, and start more resembling curved swords, or pole arms. Additionally, while the axe is typically simpler and less technical as a weapon, it is _also_ less capable, in that you have fewer techniques you can use in combat. As an example, your defensive option with an axe is pretty much limited to “get out of the way.” Blocking risks damaging the haft, and axes aren’t typically agile enough to attempt a parry. This is why two handed axes are so uncommon in the field. You really want a free hand to carry a shield, when your weapon is an axe.
Speaking of free hands, let’s talk about two weapon fighting.
It. Is. Hard.
Fighting with two weapons does, theoretically, increase your offensive potential, but learning to constantly coordinate takes years of consistent training. Most people simply never develop the ability to effectively use their off-hand effectively for offense, and even using it defensively is a struggle for most. There’s a reason the Florentine Style typically refers to the off-hand short blade as a parrying dagger, and why said parrying daggers are mostly guard. Trying to use two long blades simultaneously is nightmarish, and yes, I am speaking from experience. The prospect of “sword & axe” is even worse. The sword would need to be in your dominant hand to be useful offensively, and an axe in your off-hand is going to be next-to impossible to control sufficiently for making useful strikes, and completely useless defensively. You’d better off with an empty hand, to grab an opponent, or double-grip the sword. If you wield the axe with your dominant hand, and put the sword in off-hand, you’ve got a long metal bar you _might_ be able to deflect some blows with, and which _will_ interfere with your ability to swing your axe effectively. Again, you’re better off with a free hand.
Okay, now that the Negative Nancy stuff is out of the way, I’ll share my “Successful Two Weapon Fighting Story.”
I once had a moment of inspiration at an SCA event, after watching a series of bouts where a particular fighter was dominating. In his defense, he was clearly very well practiced with sword & board…but he was also being a bit of a lout, bragging and taunting people. I’d been watching for a few hours, whilst cooking & serving, and after some admittedly drunken encouragement from my friends, decided to have a tilt at the bastard. I armored up, but instead of grabbing my great sword (my preferred weapon) I picked up a mace and a hand axe. When the marshal started the bout, took a half-step back, in a defensive posture. My opponent stepped in, leading with his shield, in a bid to keeping me retreating. I then used the axe to hook his shield and pulled him forward, and stepped around him, letting him trip over my leg. I drubbed the back of his helmet with the mace, and that was that.
You will notice, however, that this bout had me using the axe not as a weapon, but as a tool. I actually struck with my off-hand, using the mace, because a mace requires the least effort to control, with no edge or point to aim. Also, I doubt he’d have fallen for the same trick twice, nor would anyone else who saw me do it.
Incidentally, I was not the only one to humble him that day, and he still walked away with the prize when it was over.
Taking my HEMA bascinet.
A great choice coul be a flanged mace it’s a basic weapon all steel construction with a good anti armor efficiency.
Maxima is by default armored her force field is way stronger than a plate harness – or even a tournament armor – shield is not an asset it’s negligible …
A two handed mace perhaps a kanabō made of steel could be a great weapon for her.
Her immense strength and complete ignorance of mass and momentum … could make her the most fearsome Oni , a gold one without horns.
Maces and clubs are simple to use and their main drawback: mass is not an issue for Maxima.
If i see her with a kanabō the “speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far” quote seem appropriate.
And if y was mischievous , I’ll call the kanabō “psychological warfare”.
Ok so, following the HEMA trend, but from a fantasy point of view, and addressing Dabblers point a little.
What does Maxima need the weapon for? She is already the strongest on the team, likely the strongest on earth. A weapon is a force multiplier. As in it uses leverage and a small surface area to direct the force you put in, as well as giving you more reach. But the reach argument is kinda bit moot since she has energy blasts and the pistol for longer range engagements.
So when would Maxima need a weapon that focuses her strength through reach and smaller surface area? What sort of threat is she facing that her fists would not be sufficient? When would she need the amplifier of reach and leverage? So there are two possibilities that come to my mind. A difference in scale and a difference in quality.
We saw in Kevin a threat of the difference in scale kind. Due it his power kit, he was more powerful than Maxima in her same qualities. He could be a stronger, faster kind of threat than Maxima could muster. A melee weapon would allow her to scale (for a bit) with this increased strength and toughness that Kevin could muster (though it could be argued that a large enough conflict could allow Kevin to outscale even that). This is why Sydney was the final boss for him. She was a threat in the difference of quality.
For Maxima, a difference of quality threat could be in the form of Darude. Would a weapon work for her here? The answer is no. She would not be more effective in fighting Darude with a sword or axe.
So then the question becomes, comparing her to Kevin, which weapon would function better? A sword, which is a versatile weapon with many ok qualities, or an axe, which is all in on force. The axe would be the better answer here. Scale up to a halberd and you got a party going.
Maxima need a weapon to look better.
Coming at this instead from an RPG perspective, Maxima already has good crushing (her fists and feet – or just her whole body flying through the target at Mach Fuck You) and burning (energy blasts) attacks, but if she’s up against a monster that is functionally immune to those damage types, she needs something else. A sword or spear gives her impaling, a sword or axe gives her cutting (technically, the spear can also cut with a tip slash, but those are more difficult to get deep cuts with – although it’s still possible, as that’s what any animal with claws is doing – claws aren’t edged). Sword seems like the better option here, to me – no, it doesn’t concentrate her impact force as much, but I feel that’s not what she’d be using a weapon for anyway. Several types of polearms would also work, but I think a good long sword is her best bet, to maximize the cutting surface rather than the cutting force.
As for making the weapon sufficiently-resilient to keep up with Max… how much would her personal forcefield help here? IIRC it’s been stated that it extends to things she’s holding (so that she can pick up extremely heavy things without causing them damage despite the small surface area of her hand), so might it not make any weapon she has in her hand more resilient? Combined with whatever enchantments Dabbler can put on the weapon (to say nothing of the fact she’d undoubtedly have it made of something rather resilient), that might work well here.
Halberd with a spike at the top of the haft is piercing and slashing, with added reach.
As I said, I think she’d want to maximize (heh) the cutting surface, and a halberd’s cutting surface is relatively small (it’s basically just an axe head). Reach can certainly be important, but I don’t think the difference between a long-ish sword and a halberd would amount to much in her hands, given her superspeed and omnidirectional flight.
Don’t get me wrong, the halberd is a great weapon. Indeed, given her apparent preference toward the axe (“A sword probably makes more sense, but an axe has more… edge to it.”), I suspect you may well have a good shot of convincing her to go with the halberd. I just think a sword fits the sort of use-case she’d be looking at for such a weapon better (or at least the use-case I’m imagining).
The points others have made about a sword being more difficult to learn than an axe (or a halberd) are also good ones, but given this is about preparation rather than just randomly picking up a weapon, I know Max would put the time in to learn whatever weapon she chooses (probably with some assistance from Math), and I don’t think the difference in difficulty would make much of a difference for her – she’d need to spend a bit more time learning the blade, but that’s something she’d be willing to do. I think, anyway.
So many western weapons mentioned…you all forget, the Eastern weapons. Like, a Quan dao, or any of the larger variations put of China, or a Naginata. Or tetsubo. Even the cliche Katana, wakizashi, even a basic tanto.
I personally prefer maces when it comes to applying force to something, not flanged maces, the kind you see with the 4 “blades” coming off the shaft, but more the large heavy metal bit at the end. Maybe a morning star if you’re feeling extra spiky, and not the flail version, that’s just asking for trouble. With the mace you could also put a spike on the top if you need to do any piercing damage.
It’s not blade but hardened steel plate to “bite ” on plate harness, an adaptation of the traditional mace a bronze head weapon against full plate harness on the 14th century.
Before against mail armor a bronze head is sufficient and bronze heads don’t need much know how a mold could be used ..
For mace drawback is lack of reach – it could be mitigated by armor and or shield – and mass: 2 kg (4.4 lbs) is not unheard for a one handed mace, a one handed arming sword being between 2 to 3 lbs.
The number of flanges varies 4 ,6 and 8 being found.
The morning star or morgenstern is the european brother of the kanabō a big, mean two handed spiked club.
A flail is a no it’s an awkward weapon without much control.
Anyone else disappointed that we haven’t seen what Dabbler is wearing on her bottom? There’s a big arrow pointing downwards beneath “DEPOSITS ACCEPTED IN REAR” on the back of her shirt, and I don’t believe Dabbler would pass up the opportunity for more humor. Or that there isn’t a reason we haven’t seen it yet.
‘Press button for entry’, with an iron on button strategically placed
Assless chaps?
… Chaps are assless, there isn’t a type that isn’t
But why shame an opportunity to say “assless”?
Some chaps are essentially crotchless, which would be obvious to Maxima in her current position. “Assless chaps” thereby stresses the design in question to be one which only reveals the derriere.
All chaps are assless.
Otherwise they’re trousers/pants.
All of you are irredeemable nerds. All this talk about nerd weapons and hardly anybody noticed the “porno sense…approaching”?
This is dabbler we’re talking about.
Her porno sense going off is a bit like the “arriving” announcement on the tramway.
No need to remark on it. Just wait.
Go for the connoisseur option, and have Dabbler make a switch axe from Monster Hunter.
DABBLER!
Shocked! I am SHOCKED that you did not say,
“Porno Sense INCOMING.”
Young Lady, We need to talk later about remedial innuendo 101…
What do they teach in succubus school these days?
even the word innuendo is an innuendo
Axe or sword are fine, but I need single edge. Most of my training was in staff fighting so double edged would cost me fingers.
it might have been said.. but hear me out, Sword-chucks.
For pure aesthetics I think Max should have a short handled, but very large, double head axe strapped hard to her back and either blunted or enchanted not to cut, simply for the look of it on her back, not for her to actually use.
A spear, polearm or two handed axe would have a handle likely to get in the way too much.
Less traditional options than what Dabbler mentioned:
Drill – Moving with longer spiral blade cutting edge than space would allow, or core drill multiple grinding blades that could clear a hole for Maxima to fly through. Cue Gurren Lagann music. Inlay an electrical conductor to protectively bypass the user, and/or perhaps with a stun electrical discharge setting.
Probably most of these using a surface metal that does not spark from kinetic impact for situations you do not want ignition of flammable material.
Reciprocating saw blade. Compatible with other blade options, and may more smoothly sever though multistrand fibrous material with less shredding than blunt options. Which may be a harvestable dungeon material. Lubricant duct may help avoid sticky buildup. Possibly a smart setting vibro-blade could work for less sticking in a target, cleaner cutting, and have other vibrational properties that Dabbler would appreciate promoting.
Shovel. It isn’t just a sharp broad edged spear-like, it’s a leverage prying device though less needed than a wider scoop, and a telescoping shaft helps to extend reach into things, to shovel things out. Add in a folding hinge, and it becomes more conveniently packable. Attach a vacuum attachment socket to a Kirby inspired wet dry vacuum backpack for collecting liquid, dust or other harvest material. Electromagnet might allow for collection of magnetic particles that float in air. Steadfast soldier who has seen more than her share of chunky salsa that was people, still may not appreciate collecting such by hand instead of by shovel, and then there’s the stuff that hits the fan.
Multi-tool, for more precision work, unlikely needed as a weapon but still available.
Just in the off chance there is an “anomaly” and the level sero mini-dungeon ends up being one of those, oh there are just some ball bats, fluffballs, slimes, and such in these like two rooms but THEN, there is some randomly generated large secret chamber (like late game able to open up) and down the hole is a secret hidden boss that could put a later boss or even the final boss to shame. You go three rooms and there is this hard to reach stone door that a low level adventurer wouldn’t normally see or be able to open, but its still near the surface, and behind it is Godzilla with a god slayer sword and magic mirror shield.
Whaddya mean Max would have to haul a 7′ sword around? DON’T YOU HAVE HAMMERSPACE?
Dabbler’s not willing to share access to Hammerspace tech, and it would require her to sever Max’s arm (presumably, she’s making a weapon that does not require her to be by Max’s side constantly to use).
If Maxima can’t kill it with her fists, fingers, or energy blast, we’re way beyond sword-vs-axe territory. She needs to be using some sort of Sabot Throwing Lance. I’m envisioning a needle-thin Depleted Uranium tip, a huge mass of depleted uranium rod backing it up, and some sort of clay, wax, plastic, or soft wood as the surrounding ‘handle’ around the ‘rod’, to make it thick enough for Maxima to get a good grip around.
Then, she continuously accelerates it into the target across a distance of a hundred-plus feet. That’ll leave a mark.
Problem with energy blasts, is you may fry what you’re trying to harvest. Fists and fingers seem viable. Though some thoughts of having to stick your fingers somewhere, rather than some tool.
Poor Math
I want to know if i can Axe you a question
I like the admission that this is purely for the cool factor, not any practical need for a weapon.
Yeah, Max doesn’t really need a physical weapon except for the psychological purposes mentioned during Sydney’s training arc. It would make an interesting twist if there were items in the dungeon that could only be harvested by a heroine using traditional weapon wielded in a stereotypical manner.
An axe is a legitimate carry on for many different reasons. campers use them and it could certainly be argued that it is more so a tool as opposed to a weapon
“Oooh, is some actually going to take me up on my T-shirt?”
They should be equipping her to fight Kaiju, because she is the USA’s primary defense against Kaiju and Kaiju has proven to exist in the grrlverse.
As long something is on your back it won’t really have influence on your movement if placed correctly.
I think her problem will be mostly the strength of the straps keeping it there.
This raises the question how do we arm Maxima as effective as possible.
My ideas:
earpiece to communicate with far away allies.
A flamethrower or something to fight swarms.
Areating, but strong clothing for bad guys have shown to have explosives that can break Max’s outer shield.
As for melee weapons.
She already has built in small distance armament(energy blast), so she doesn’t really need the reach advantage unless we’re dealing with weapons aimed at specific weaknesses(silver tipped spear).
A practical design for her is either fully focused on surviving the strike(mace) or we’re dealing with a specific weakness design in which case it should be assumed that generic options have already been tried and the enemy has closed in
Why have I not seen anyone suggest the classic Swordchucks?
Man has it been a hot minute since I thought of that webcomic.
Did you look? I’m guessing you didn’t see anyone suggest them because you didn’t look. Comment on page 1, comment on page 2.
Because you haven’t read the first page of comments.
I defer to Brooklyn Nine-Nine’s Rosa Diaz – “What kind of woman doesn’t have an axe?”
https://youtube.com/shorts/Aaq7SxttqhU
Unfortunately, tungsten is brittle so it would shatter upon impact! Honestly, just give Max the Dragon Slayer from Berserk and call it a day.
She should get a whip, because Max doesn’t only have strength, she also as speed, now a well wielded Whip snap at the speed of sound and can already do a lot of damage. One wielded by an arm already moving at the speed of sound ? a lot more damage. A Whip enchanted by Dabbler to be indestructible and sharp enough to pierce dragon scale wielded by said arm ? We’re getting somewhere.
That and Dabbler will get to do all the dominatrix joke in the world to Maxima
A whip that could stand up to her and reasonably be used with super-strength by her is an anchor chain.
Monster Hunter Switchaxe! It’s both weapons in one and transforms between modes for that cool make it a toy factor!
Adrienne would love it!
Thanks for the book recommendation. The description of book one sounds immediately interesting! I’ll have to look at their other work on RR too.
For cool factory 2 handed sword that changed every strip into other famous sword (dragonkiller, zweihander, buster sword etc)
For practicality in fact short spear, just because you can survive any contact does not mean you need everyone blood on you, and you can throw it at escaping exp
Just out of curiosity could Maxima’s metal skin be considered armor and if that’s the case that would mean that Max already comes with Boob Armor?