Grrl Power #1345 – Hack or slash
I mean really, why not an axe and a sword? It’s not like Maxima really has an encumbrance limit. The real limit is just how much stuff she can situate on her back before it gets in the way of doing her normal field work. A bag of holding would solve that issue as well, but the dungeon is a long way from being able to produce dimensional alchemical supplies. You need the stomach of a JumpJerk at a minimum. They’re like goblins that can do short teleports and they like stabbing people in the butt, but they’re about a 3.5 on the 9 point monster scale. You know, like “Lower Lower Class” all the way up to “Upper Upper Class.” Except most worlds with magic don’t label stuff like that. They’ll use Iron through Platinum, or sometimes they stick with metal until the top rank then switch to Diamond for some reason. Or they’ll do F through S Ranks. That’s still only 7 ranks though. But “Mundane” is an unranked rank, and jumping into the Divine arena is a whole other rank, or really a whole other scale you have to start climbing all over again, but F-S plus Mundane and Divine makes for 9.
The point is, if Dabbler hands Maxima a 7′ horse killer Berserk sword, she’ll have to actually carry it around with her, and that’s going to be really awkward. Also for some reason in our modern age, a cop, excuse me, gendarme with a gun is perfectly okay. But law enforcement walking around with a vicious melee weapon, that’s a harder sell. Especially the first time Maxima bisects some super powered bank robber. That’s going to be a rough week for the P.R. team.
Oh! I know. Give Max one of those swords that also turns into a bladed whip, Ivy style. Only instead of sword segments, use double headed battle-axe blades. Yup. I see no possible drawback to that.
System Delenda Est 3 is out. I recommended SDE 1 a little bit back when the Audiobook came out. SDE2 audiobook is out as well, so you can grab that if you like. If you don’t recall from my first recommendation, I fucking love the premise of this series. Instead of yet another System Apocalypse story, i.e., the system comes to Earth and civilization implodes and billions die, but hey, the main character gets to level up and be awesome, this story takes place after all that happened and Earth actually fought The System off of Earth, and the main character is looking to make sure it can never come back and destroy civilization all over again. This entails taking down The System in its entirety across all of known space. That seems like an incredibly daunting task, especially since high level System users can outright ignore nearly all physics, and the MC can’t level up within The System without it learning all of his tricks. And speaking of tricks, when I said Earth fought off The System, I mean an Earth of some indeterminate future where shit has gotten advanced. And when I say advanced, I mean like Enceladus, Jupiter’s moon Enceladus is, in it’s entirety, an unshackled AI of incomprehensible capability. The MC starts the adventure as a five ton Kaiju, and eventually winds up in orbit where he deploys exponential manufacturing capabilities and starts taking on high level System users with orbital mass driver strikes, and it is fucking fantastic.
The author, Inadvisably Compelled, has another good series, “Paranoid Mage” which has the MC discover the supernatural world around him, or rather, the supernatural world discovers him and the fact that he’s an unawakened/untrained mage (I don’t recall the exact details as it’s been a while since I read it). Anyway, they attempt to tell the MC how things are going to be, and the MC nopes right on out of there. And when they come after him, he winds up having to kill like half of the council of supernatural butt-asses before everyone is like, “Naw it’s cool. Do your own thing, bra.” It’s obvious to me the author has issues with authority, and that’s something I identify with.
I’m going to try something with this new vote incentive.
This month, I’m closing on a new house, selling my Mom’s house, finishing packing Mom’s house, moving city to city to the new house, forwarding mail, canceling utilities, all that. And after that’s done, I get to start the process of selling my old house, which needs a little work before it can realistically go on the market.
SO. I’m going to try and do this vote incentive in stages. Currently it’s just pencils. The TopWebcomics one will update with colors and detail until we get to the no clothes versions, then that will continue over at Patreon. Also there will be a comic or two in between each version to fill out the story.
I know it’s hard to tell from just the pencils, but this is Heatwave and Jiggawatt. The comics will explain why they’re doing what they’re doing. Although I feel like even saying that much makes it easy to guess, but hopefully the journey will still amuse.
Double res version will be posted over at Patreon. Feel free to contribute as much as you like.
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Dongs Ahoy!Full frontal and backal. Lots of skin, sex on some or all pages, explicit or otherwise.
Max, you’re a cop. Ask for a tonfa.
Counterpoint, Captain America shield. Her entire body is already a super-powered blunt weapon, and the meager distance a tonfa would cover is easily ignored with superspeed, so going more defensive would give her more options.
1) Cap’s shield is great because its tougher than him, and it seems in GP universe they’re hard pressed to find something tougher than Max.
2) Cap’s shield is great because it is imbued with ‘Narrative Bullshit Ricochet’ powers, and while magic in the GP universe could maybe fill that role, throwing your weapon is generally a bad idea.
Axes concentrate the mass out on the end, so for a given weight and speed of swing they carry more angular momentum, and deliver more energy to the target.
OTOH, if you’re attacking something REALLY big, you need depth of cut, or else you’re just delivering scaled up paper cuts. Once you go past the depth of the ax head, the shaft is hitting the target, and the shaft isn’t edged. So axes don’t have the penetration swords do.
Maybe a fancy great sword with an ax head tip? Like a Congolese Ikakalaka sword?
That’s because most sworders don’t think to sharpen the shaft of the axe, they tend to think with their little ‘sword’
Polearm or bearded axe
Max doesn’t show it often, but she IS a tabletop nerd. Her pulling a
RedGold Sonja is probably one of her deep-seated fantasies.Also, as Dabbler starts thinking up weapon designs, somewhere in the Multiverse, Colin Wallis is OVERWHELMED by jealous rage.
Tabletop nerd suggest sword-and-board to me; doubly so if she was also a LARP nerd. And Dabble could make an absolutely *ludicrous* sword for her to use.
Worm reference detected!
One of the best senses ever. Right up there with the spider sense
Yes and no. Something set it off very high level. Almost showed Max the back of the shirt trying to turn to see what it was.
What you want is a POLEAXE! Axe blade on one side for all your axing needs, hammer head on the other side for things that respond better to smashing rather than stabbing, and a great big spike on the top for stabbing deeply (heh, insert succubus pun about stabbing deeply here).
The problem then becomes room to swing it, so maybe one with a collapsible haft to make it more useful in tight spaces?
I’m currently imagining Max wielding the Halberd of Rory Mercury (from Gate) (and wearing the same priestly dress).
Nah, she needs a good 4-5 ft bearded axe, maybe with an extra large head, and a butt spike! Why fight to learn the Dabbler-physics of some giant fantasy/ anime absurdity, when real history provides such great tools for bad guy division!
Reminds me of AXE COP! :)
https://axecop.com/
Can Dabbler produce anything more durable than Maxima herself?
We already had the debate about Supes hitting someone with a car is just a waste of a car.
I was already thinking: If Max configured for high strength, there’s a good chance that she’d only get one blow with the axe-or-sword, at which point it would shatter/break/deform out of all usefulness. And if you’re carrying around a one-use weapon, why not go for a shaped charge?
A Tetsubo. Big spikey club.
Also for all the phallic and sex toy jokes.
“Dabbler … Why does this club vibrate?”
“In case you have a run in with a sexually frustrated kaiju. Duh.”
“FIN FANG FOOM!
Has been burning with the need to mate since 1956!
FIN FANG FOOM!
Has absolutely no genitals whatsoever!
FIN FANG FOOM!
Oh, you cannot imagine how annoyed he is.”
FIN FANG FOOM!
Is a lizard!
FIN FANG FOOM!
His genitals are inside his cloaca!
FIN FANG FOOM!
I’m not going to verify that, YOU verify it!
FIN FANG FOOM!
Is more likely to let you check his cloaca if you get him drunk first! REALLY, **REALLY** DRUNK!
The poleaxe was the preferred weapon of knights in armour when fighting on foot, or sometimes a spear or other polearm. A sword was carried mostly as a backup and to show status, it could and was used to poke into gaps in armour but a sturdy dagger did as good a job and worked even better in close quarters. Swords are mostly what survives because they weren’t wornout or broken as often due to their not being the primary weapon. Poleaxes work quite well against almost any opponent, they’re long enough to create distance yet short enough to handle quickly and the backend of a well designed poleaxe can be as dangerous as the head. Swords work well against unarmoured opponents but so do warhammers, picks, one handed axes, etc. A good poleaxe works well for thrusting attacks in close quarters too. Polearms ruled the battlefield buuutttttttt they don’t look as ‘cool’ so you rarely see them in the movies except oversized spears that had a niche role mostly against cavalry charges or enemies with the not-too-high ground. For sheer brutality, a daneaxe can be devestating in the proper hands against the right opponent, the disadvantage is needing a good swing to generate enough power, but when it does, it does it oh so well.
Most medieval swords were ‘Arming-Swords’ as in they were the medieval equivalent of Side-arms.
There’s a lot of different Polearms, including Partisans, Halberds, Billhooks, etc, and two different forms of Poleaxe.
Your classic Poleaxe, with an axe head, curved blade on the back and a spike or spearhead on top.
Or the Poleaxe/Pollaxe designed to fight armoured opponents with a clawed hammerhead, spike on the very bottom, curved blade on the back and spike on top.
One other reason swords are so often considered the go-to fantasy weapon: many of the stories that inspired so much modern fantasy were themselves the descendants of stories that can be traced back to the times when many wealthy people (nobility in particular) would routinely travel about with a sword as both a means of self-defence and a fashion accessory.
Swords worked particularly well for this role as they were fairly compact and not as likely to get in the way of daily life than, for example, a polearm that’s longer than you are tall. They might also have been more readily accepted as a gradual escalation from a knife attached to the belt.
The reason the above is relevant is: these potentially sword-carrying people are also the people most likely to have the time and money to buy and read tales of derring-do and suchlike, so there was a strong incentive to market to them. When the weapon of choice is something the reader has ready access to, it’s that much easier for them to identify with the protagonist and daydream of being just as heroic themselves.
Comparing to modern weapons a sword is like a backup pistol and a spear is like a assault rifle.
I like swords. (Fighter from 8 Bit Theater)
That being said I want to see her wield sword-chucks. I mean, Fighter does have a point in that they combine the advantages of swords with the advantages of nun-chucks.
Welcome to Corneria!
I like swords!
Welcome to Corneria!
I like swords!
Urge to destroy world rising…
I prefer to misquote Pokémon: “I like swords! They’re comfy and easy to swing!”
I wonder if Dabbler is breaking the fourth wall right now…
A War Hammer would be perfect for Maxima!
Ideally forty thousand of them XD
I’m now imagining Max carrying a tungsten buster sword, Sydney geeking out about it, and Max using it to make a point when dealing with some new entity on the scene who doesn’t quite know what they’re dealing with. Basically they see her moving about with that thing on her back like it’s made of plastic, and she removes it from her back, drops it on a table, and the table is just… *flattened*
I kinda want dabbler to maker her a switch axe out of Monster Hunter. I mean, why not both?
Buster sword, which can be pulled apart into other swords. There is a reason why that sword makes sense when the users get enhanced strength, and I’m sure Dabbler has the metallurgy knowledge to make one. Ever see Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children animation? There is at least one sequence where cloud shows all that.
If your being silly, give her a Chain Flail from the Only War TTRPG
Imaging several small chainswords each linked via chian to the handle
what could possibly go wrong
Greatswords are used du fight multiple opponents , the montante style is about crating a wide zone of strike in multiple direction using psychological factor – it’s a sword bigger than me – and the reach of the weapon.
For an inexperienced fighter it’s good to be back to the basic , blade alignment could be tricky , a spear is pretty good as a mace or as Morgenstern ( not a military flail (fléau d’armes in French and Kriegsflegel in German))or the Japanese version a kanabō .
Due to her immense strength weight is not an issue.
If she was trained in it , a Bowie knife could be an interesting weapon , her natural armor -quasi impervious – reducing to nothing the reach disadvantage, a foot long blade on 18 inches weapon being more handy to carry.
If she train a Kama , a Warhammer or even a tomahawk – an hand axe- could be interesting but i’ll recommand an all steel construction …
If she is not trained a flanged mace is great shorter than a sword not to awkward to carry and with a decent anti-armor capacities.
Easy to use and the weight the issue for normal humans don’t apply to Maxima.
Max needs to start saying, to Dabbler at least, “You and your porno sense…!”
Given the preference, 2 handed axe similar to what the vikings used, it’s as useful as a proper riot baton. But if it were me? Neither, Hammer, Mace anything but a dumb sword.
But, yeah melee weapons only matter when you are out of ammo…entrenching tools are awesome for that. p.s. do not ask what I think of DEW’s, short answer…useless in atmo.
If she is only going to have a big weapon a pollax or halberd would be more practical, but something in the montante/greatsword/Zhanmadao line would be sufficiently impressive. If she is going to carry two, then a pole arm and biggish one handed sword. The Ba Gua Dao would fit nicely. Huge, heavy, curvy and has serious,authority
…. If you want to emphasize her authority as a Minion of the Law (hey, she even has the right color to be a Minion) then a mace or maul would be perfect. If she has a one handed weapon a shield makes sense. But a shield, and a sidearm and a spear is a bit much unless she is going for the hop lite looj
big boxing gloves of course.
The only reason Max would need a weapon is for range/reach (and maybe intimidation). She can punch throught steel and granite (also shot energy from her finger). Her fists would do more damage than any weapon.
It is lik in superheroes comics/movies when they hit each other with cars. Why? Cars are not good melee weapons. They crumple too much,if you can lift and break a car your fists would probably hurt much more. It is like a normal human hitting someone with a cardboard tube.
Also, axes hit harder, but swords have more reach. You swing an axe, but thrust a sword, or you are not doing right (except maybe zweihanders and similiar)
“… swords have more reach.” Only if looking at one-handed weapons, and depending on how you define “axe”. A two-handed great axe can reach as far as any two-handed sword, and a poleaxe can reach much farther.
Or by “reach” did you mean penetration depth into something massive? In that case, yes, swords can pierce deeper than an axe can slash.
My concern is the durability of any weapon for max. She might accidentally break it when she swings at an opponent, cleaves it in two and strikes the ground.
Considering how strong and fast Maxima is she needs something really durable, like for example Guts Dragonslayer.
O,h now what?
Why not go anime/video game and give her a Gunsword? I’m sure between magic and space tech Dabbler could make one work and somehow be practical.
Let’s see. Math has just seen Sciona/Scorpana and is turned on by her appearance. He is there to provide security and open tight bottle lids.
Standard dungeon delver 10′ (3M) staff, just made of Unobtainium so it does not buckle or deform noticeably when it hits something. You can poke with it – depending on how sturdy the target is, it becomes a spear, you can swing with it even in confined spaces (look at good Chinese spear work – you can crack a skull and the pole doesn’t go anywhere outside your front silhouette). All sorts of handy.
A two-handed “sword” that’s shaped more like a surfboard, with a three foot long blade that’s 18 inches wide. At least two inches thick, maybe three. One edge normal, the other serrated.
Big enough that it could also act as a shield.
Max could wave something like that around, no problem.
Honestly, spear is the right answer. It’s all about penetration and reach. In a pinch it can even be a thrown weapon. Outside combat (or in more nonlethal combat), turn it around and it’s your standard X foot pole.
The spear may just be the best weapon ever for regular humans but is it ideal for someone with superstrenght? If you got something like adamantium maybe.
A big, massive morningstar. Piercing and blunt damage in one. Make the head a 12″ sphere of tungsten for weight with 5″ spikes. With Max’s strength she should have no trouble wielding it.
considering Max has the whole tactiletelekinesis thing, I wonder if she would actually be a badass with a sword whip \ chain sword \ whatever you call Ivy’s weapon and the badguy’s from Brotherhood of the Wolf
A shotgun that fires swords that explode into smaller swords!
Yeah that’s from a Borderlands DLC.
Any melee weapon (or bow) is a lever to amplify your strength in some manner. Or to project your strength further than your arm can reach. I’m not sure Maxima really needs that against anything less than e.g. Vehemence.
I’m wondering what device could deliver Max’s maximum force without bending or breaking (presumably with a point to concentrate the force), and still fit inside the dungeon. Which (from the name) is more than likely to have spots with a low ceiling. Presumably you could break the ceiling, but if it’s bent space that might be bad.
Good thing that that is not a blue slime in panel four, Cousin Teddy suffered enough
An axe has more versatility than a poxy sword, which is why (k)nobility liked the sword
I recognised your somewhat nerdy reference in the bottom text.
An iklwa or halfspear would probably be best, both in a practicality and tactical sense. On a practicality aspect it would lean into training Max already has, bayonet use was or is still part of US millitary practices, so it wouldn’t be an entirly new concept for her. As for the tactical point hypothetically Max’s big issue with non-esoteric threats tends to be penetration (ie armor, thick fat…) things where punching isn’t viable normally.
I’m kinda curious about something that was mentioned waaay back when Sydney summoned Parfait.l Gwen said that if Sydney wanted to do it herself she’d have to have appreciable mana to do the summoning. Could she build up that mana if she didn’t happen to have it yet? Is that possible, or is magic a you’ve got it or you don’t situation?
if you go by historical records instead of pop culture, swords were mostly piercing weapons, using the tip rather than the edge, that’s why there is such a cultural difference with sabers, who focus mostly on slashing instead of piercing
the Katana is a bit of a mix bag, as it is a slashing sword, while not really being considered a saber
Give her a Bardiche with a collapsible heft, so it shrinks down to just the blade size and she can carry it on her back in a decently unassuming sheath (made from kydex or wrapped in black fabric for that “tactical” look). I’m sure Cora or Dabbler could tech/magic up a pole that can quintuple in length without losing its durability.
A Bardiche serves as a good compromise between axe and sword for her purposes. It basically has a gently curved axe head that’s elongated to either side until it reaches the line of the heft, connecting at the bottom. And on top you can curve it back up and draw it out to a spike for thrusting.
Plus their crescent blade shape is criminally under-represented for how cool it looks.