SYDNEY: “Wait, how am I a danger to myself?”
MAXIMA: “Well, you did you just hit your superior officer with a deadly weapon… even if it’s decidedly non-deadly to me. Still, you did just volunteer to peel every potato in…”
SYDNEY: //fidgeting with bat’leth, drops it on foot.//
SYDNEY: “Ow! Ow! OW! Back of the handle right on the long bones!”
MAXIMA: “Also that.”

If you were an agent of chaos, handing Sydney a giant, awkward, heavy, bladed thing isn’t the worst plan. Or giving her artifacts that grant her amazing superpowers. I’m not suggesting Deus had anything to do with that, but… if he had been in a position to arrange it, he certainly would have considered it.

I think a proper, steel bat’leth would weigh about 20-25 pounds? Depending entirely on how thick it was. The prop that Worf had on the show looked like it was maybe 1/3″ thick, and almost certainly not made of steel. Maybe aluminum? I could probably google it. Hmm. I found a prop replica, 1/4″ thick, made of aluminum, weighing in at 4 pounds. Honestly I thought Worf’s bat’leth looked like a dull nerf weapon if not for the way it caught the light sometimes. I’d assume they’d have two versions of the prop – a dangerously sharp one for display and closeups, then a HEMA or SCA safe version for twirling around and stage fights. The Sword of Kahless looked way chonkier and sharper. I found a “full size” prop on Amazon for sale made of steel, but it weighed less than a pound, because it looked about as thin as a piece of sheet metal. If the prop on the show was made of steel, I’m sure it would be impractically heavy. At least for a human to wield in a fight.

Klingons were supposedly something like 4 or 5 times stronger than humans, but that was just something the writers said. The guys staging the fights never got the memo, because human starfleet officers almost never lost a fight to one on camera. Major Kira, beanpole that she was, won every melee she got into against a klingon if I recall correctly. Oh, but she was an expert guerilla combatant, you say? That’s fine if she’s lacing the hallways with claymores, but I distinctly remember her blocking an overhead strike from a klingon by holding her phaser rifle sideways, then shunting the bat’leth off to the side, then hitting the klingon with the rifle, and he went down. That was definitely just lazy “main character VS. the one-hit-die schlub” writing, but really, a woman (and it was never established if bajorans had any particular strength or skeletal advantage over humans, so let’s just assume that Major Kira was as strong as a fit, slender human woman), a woman blocking an overhead strike from a man who, as most guys cast as kingons go, probably had six inches on her and a hundred pounds… Okay, sure. I can see that happening. If she meets the strike just right and yes, she has a decade of experience as a soldier. Not impossible. If her opponent was a human male and was only twice her strength. However, if that guy is 4 times as strong as her – and really – a female klingon would be 4 times as strong as her. A male klingon would probably be closer to six to eight times as strong as her, her arms would have buckled or her shoulders would have dislocated, or her rifle would have been ripped out of her grip (let’s assume the rifle is made of space polymers and doesn’t just snap in half) and that bat’leth should slammed into her brainpan.

So I submit to you that klingons were nowhere near 4 times stronger than humans. 40% stronger, maybe.

You know what’s weird and unnecessary? You won’t guess what I’m going to write, so I’ll just tell you. Memory Alpha had a wiki page for an “hour.” Is it a space-hour that takes into account time dilation or some sort of galactic unit of time that’s different than a standard 20th century Earth hour? No. It’s just an hour. Why it needs a dedicated page on the Star Trek wiki is baffling to me, but it’s late as I write this so maybe I’m missing something obvious.

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I’m going to try something with this new vote incentive.

This month, I’m closing on a new house, selling my Mom’s house, finishing packing Mom’s house, moving city to city to the new house, forwarding mail, canceling utilities, all that. And after that’s done, I get to start the process of selling my old house, which needs a little work before it can realistically go on the market.

SO. I’m going to try and do this vote incentive in stages. Currently it’s just pencils. The TopWebcomics one will update with colors and detail until we get to the no clothes versions, then that will continue over at Patreon. Also there will be a comic or two in between each version to fill out the story.

I know it’s hard to tell from just the pencils, but this is Heatwave and Jiggawatt. The comics will explain why they’re doing what they’re doing. Although I feel like even saying that much makes it easy to guess, but hopefully the journey will still amuse.

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Double res version will be posted over at Patreon. Feel free to contribute as much as you like.