Grrl Power #1267 – Heads up
Hagfish are revolting. Just go to youtube and search it. Just for fun, here’s a snippet from Wikipedia; “Hagfish can exude copious quantities of a milky and fibrous slime or mucus, from specialized slime glands. When released in seawater, the slime expands to 10,000 times its original size in 0.4 seconds.” They’re considered good eats in South Korea, so I guess the shabby Triad boss there has a Korean grandma or something and grew up on the stuff, and inflicts it on his descendants as well. While drawing this page I decided the gray blazer guy is his son? Not sure that will ever be relevant with these characters, but, you know, backstory!
In the meantime I will vociferously resist the urge to call the guy in the cloak “The Hagfish” because I have a bad habit of sticking with the first name I assign a character. Especially since cloaky hasn’t exhibited any mucus secreting abilities. You can’t name someone The Hagfish unless their primary ability is producing 10,000 times as much slime as you’d expect. I’m sure I told this story a long time ago in a comment somewhere, but Anvil was supposed to be a temporary name, but I couldn’t think of a better one for so long it stuck. Also, Maxima used to be Ultima, and I had a different character named Maxima, who was a Sydney-shaped girl, but she had telekinetic strength, making her one of the “strongest” in my pantheon. I just liked the idea of a skinny girl one-arming a tank over her head. But it became increasingly obvious to me that Ultima should be renamed to Maxima since she’d encounter situations where she’d have to max-out her armor or strength. Even so, I think it took me like 7 years to officially make the swap in my head. And even though I think it’s a little silly when superheroes have given names that serendipitously align with their super powers, I couldn’t help but name Maxima Maximillia. I can defend that though, since it’s just an obvious nickname when your name is Maximillia, and being named “Maxima” on her superhero jersey isn’t actually descriptive of her powerset. Unlike Telford Porter. If I ever make a character with a name that obvious, like, Partikel Beam, you can be assured that his powers will not be projecting particle beams. It’ll be like… psychometry or something.
The new vote incentive is up!
Oh no! Superheroines in a deathtrap! Well… a tickle trap. Okay, not trapped, trapped, but… look, three of the girls are getting tickled. Actually, in a way, seven girls are getting tickled since the other four Harems will feel this as well, but technically it’s only the three shown in the picture since Harem insists there’s only one of her – it’s just confusing since she can be in 5 places at once.
As you can probably imagine, Patreon shows what happens if they laugh, and also has a comic revealing who is behind this nefarious situation.
Double res version will be posted over at Patreon. Feel free to contribute as much as you like.
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The Who’s Who should just say “Many assholes” and be done with it.
I’ve pulled things that look like that out of people.
Small clews of worms.
I had to ask the command psyche to prescribe me a hypnotic for a couple of weeks, because of the fucking nightmares.
Unrelated, gonna go drug myself now…
is that what is going to take for the next some odd months in America? good drugs? we can’t even get the Daleks to run for office here….
imagine what Sydney would do if somehow that got into the universe- a UK election with the Dalek party running… well, rolling really.
I mean, Americans have narcotizing more and more, be it literally or figuratively, for a few decades now, in response to our politics.
As far as the UK goes, I’m still holding out for Count Binhead…
Hulk Hogan is considering running for office in 2028.
well, about a third of Americans believe the elections are rigged anyway.
Make Kayfabe Great Again? Heh…
*sigh*
On a real note…it’s killing me. Literally, I mean. All the stress, duress, and drama. Staring this next election in the face like an oncoming train, not sure if I want to get out of the way or just eat it. Carnival barkers and sideshow hustlers running our country, shadows on the wall, while the billionaires at the fire stoke the flames and convince the People that anyone presenting actual solutions, improvements, progress & New Shit is THE ENEMY, because it might mean they acquire our money very marginally less quickly.
And good gods, the lies. The LIES!
“Crime is everywhere!”
“Microchips in vaccines!”
“There’s no climate change, and if there is, it’s good, actually, but anyway it absolutely IS NOT OUR FAULT and also BUY MORE GAS!”
“Of course Black Lives Matter, see how we’re wearing kente cloth and renaming streets? We don’t need systemic reforms!”
“We care about body autonomy! We’ll get around to codifying Roe into law right after we use it to fund raise in the next election, promise!”
And of course, the current cheery on top, “It’s not a genocide.”
Every day for the last decade, I’ve been a little more grateful that I never had children. I couldn’t explain it all to them without breaking down into tears. So goddamn exhausting…
“The lies” – the difference is that we are seeing them, not that there are more of them. “The powers-that-be are lying to the peons” is the normal human condition.
Of course, the problem is that “the lies” are all lies on one side or the other (well, or both, in some cases), but I doubt anyone gets it correct which side is lying on every topic.
Your list, for example, has a couple of things that you are worrying about where you have believed the lie, that’s why you’re worried. At least one of them is in the “painfully easy to check and make comparisons” category.
The problem is that I don’t truly believe my own list would be perfect, either. I wish it was, I try to make it so, but I’m human, too, with my own biases and blind spots.
And certainly, I don’t think any party is remotely perfect. I have no examples to give of politicians that aren’t normal politicians (lying liars who lie).
My only real complaint on the “doom and gloom of politics” is when different politicians are judged by different standards, giving some a pass for behaviour that is excoriated in others.
“So, I shouldn’t vote for Bob, because he’s a liar. Instead, I should vote for Fred, who is also a liar, at least as bad and arguably MUCH worse on that topic. Yes, yes, that makes total sense.” :-/
(Your bit about Roe was particularly good, by the way – that’s one of the best recent examples of bad faith politicians, but the only real differentiation is “recent”. Both sides do it, just on different topics. “Actually doing what we’re fundraising on would end the fundraising gravy train.” GAG. I disagree with your on that particular political issue, even, and I still think it’s a great example of politicians being horrible and acting in bad faith.)
I don’t have the spoons to argue with your bullshit.
I’m currently debating debating between going to work and swallowing a chunk of lead at high velocity.
The thing is, my degree is in poli-sci, with a focus on public policy. I actually understand how the mechanisms are structured & are _supposed_ to work. Government is an extremely useful and powerful tool, which can be used to facilitate a good – even great – life for everyone. And the resources are there to do so! In purely material terms, there’s no practical reason we can’t all be prosperous, secure, and free to pursue our interests.
Then a handful of greedy, selfish, bigoted, fundamentally evil f’ers have to start ruining everything. This one wants all the money, that one can’t stand being on equal terms with someone who looks different, the other demands that everyone grovel at the altar of their preferred imaginary Sky Daddy, and yet another insists they be able to do anything at anytime regardless of the impact they have on other people. Or all of the above.
Basically, a bunch of people who refuse to get along, and expect exclusive right to control the machinery of society, who patently refuse to listen to anyone who isn’t already confirming their biases, because I guess that constitutes some sort of surrender or capitulation, or whatever.
This is what is currently driving my depression.
“I don’t have the spoons to argue with your bullshit.”
So glad I offered you an olive branch, there. Yep.
“Then a handful of greedy, selfish, bigoted, fundamentally evil f’ers have to start ruining everything.”
This is *******ALWAYS******* the problem, always, all through history, all the time. It has been the _primary_ problem for humanity for at least the last thousand years (and probably more like 3000), and even before then, when famine and predators and disease and such was even worse (due to lower levels of technology), it was a still the largest problem any time those others weren’t being actively fatal to large portions of humanity.
How to make society work *anyway*, despite the existence of those people (and most people are at least some other people’s “those people”) is the problem.
If we could magically solve that problem, nearly any form of government would work just fine, probably even socialism.
The reason we can’t use government the way you are talking about using government is because the next generation of “those people” will just go into government and use that power for the things they want to use it for.
That is one very consistent lesson from history. THAT is why people like me want a weaker government. It’s not that we just don’t want the benefits you are talking about (they would be great!), it’s that there has not yet been any mechanism discovered to prevent “those people” from then using the powers that government has for their own ends instead of the benefits you and I both want.
Yes, I agree with you (olive branch again, because I am stupid), “those people” are depressing (and yes, I’m fairly sure you would put me on your “those people” list, just like I put you on mine). I wish I had a solution for it. Minimizing the damage they can do is the least bad choice I’ve been able to find.
You both are making me wonder what would happen if the job of politics came with an application that included one of those personality/morality tests like the ones retail jobs sometimes have you fill out. It would have to be made by a completely unbiased third party to be of any use, though, and well, good luck with that. :/
One side or the other would get control over what the question list was, and exclude anyone who had too many markers of the other side in their results.
Exactly this.
This is the problem with almost any kind of test. Historical example: literacy tests. The idea is a good one, but the actual execution was explicitly to exclude minorities (especially blacks).
Any such test can easily become “excluding undesirables” instead of whatever the original function was.
More realistically, it won’t “become” that, it will START as that (like literacy tests did), with whatever good-sounding idea as cover.
Welcome to humanity. :-/
Can’t be worse than The cRock
He’s thinking of running too actually.
Having had Jesse Ventura for a governor for 4 years (or as it 8?), sounds great! If they’re anything alike, anyway.
Whatcha gonna do when Hulkamania runs wild on you, brother?
Actually that guy in the first panel can die for that split mustache thing he has going on.
Definitely a evil moustache.
Who cares if it’s evil, it’s hideous. It looks like the kind of moustache the guy you bought weed from in high school would have. Totally unattractive
It’s common in Asia, the full-grown even has a name: Fu-Manchu (named after a character famously played by Dracula)
It’s fairly common among Asian dudes because they don’t have the full luxurious facial hair follicles us white dudes struggle with every day. My roommate in college tried to grow a beard, it was completely hilarious how patchy it was growing in. One of the places that did grow was where this guy has his mustache.
It’s common among Mexicans and South Americans without much mixed race (Spanish) heritage. My brother in law has that kind of mustache, it looks ridiculous. I love him, but seriously dude. Shave. Please. It doesn’t look good.
Granted, the “duffel full of heads” approach will occasionally get you somewhere, but saying you should always go that route is terrible pickup advice. I’d be willing to bet “Would you like to see my etchings?” works out better on average.
Partykill Beam shoots emotion-deadening rays that everyone just want to go home and rethink how they’re spending their leisure time.
Particle Bee (or possible Bea, it’s hard to be sure unless she writes it down) creates swarms of stinging energy constructs from Comic Book Science, and has a degree in subatomic physics.
Party Tickle Beam apparently inspired the current incentive comic.
So if you wanna see a whole lot of “nope”, do an image search on “Oregon Hagfish Spill”.
Looks like someone jizzed all over the road lol
I believe I will follow the example of Brave sir Robin…
Ah, pulling a Red Hood.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ZZB8bJN6PM
Sidenote, 8 Heads in a Duffle bag is a very fun comedy movie with Joe Pesci.
Ok now we can go back to the comic.
Well, it’s a movie with Joe Pesci, at least. The review headline “Eight Heads, Zero Stars” was funnier than the movie.
I can’t read that title without it playing in my head to the tune of Buffalo Gals.
It seems like, +90% of the best movies are never appreciated in their initial release.
Case in point; the 1993 Mel Brooks classic “Robin Hood: Men in Tights” earned 72 million in theaters on a 50 million budget.
One joke in the film is Robin Hood failing to jump on a horse, causing Ahchoo to quip, “Man, White Men Can’t Jump!”
“White Men Can’t Jump” was a Woody Harrelson/Wesley Snipes buddy comedy that came out in 1992, and made 91 million in theaters on a 31 million budget.
Now the acid test; tell me something – FROM MEMORY – about both movies besides the names.
…Mel Brooks is a god amongst insects, isn’t he?
I remember the overall plot of WMCJ, actually, just not much about specific scenes/moments, with the exception of one scene where the leads’ respective girlfriends have a standoff. (The two played con artists who hustled street basketball games, but ultimately wound up trying to hustle one another. IIRC, Snipes came out on top.)
MiT is fun, but I consider part of Mel Brooks’ declining bite–the satire was better in his earlier works. Mind you, ‘weak Mel Brooks’ is still vastly better than anything attached to the name Michael Bay, so I’m definitely not saying it’s a bad film. It’s just not the first of his I’d pick off the shelf. And that, I think, was a pretty common opinion, which is why the contemporaneous critics and audiences panned it–people went into the theater expecting another Blazing Saddles, or at least another Young Frankenstein.
The big problem was, a comedy movie about an English folk-hero that was not King Arthur that most American’s either had never heard of or didn’t care to learn about
At least it wasn’t Black Arrow (who was around the same time as Robin) or Dick Turpin
Seems like Blue Eyes is heading for a monolouge.
Nope, cut-scene back to Sydney being… Sydney, and we never find out what he had to say
Please! It’s “Cloaky.”
Please use his full name, out of respect. Cloakary Cloakface “Cloaky” McCloakenson.
In Worm I think they have more than one discussion about using cape namens that tricks the opposition to missidentify the powerset they faces.
But there powers are weird and even after a exchange of powers there can be discussion about how, why and whatnot a power was and the consequences etc etc
Look at the last page and tell me where Captain Hyperotreti is supposed to be standing. It sure isn’t the carpet symbol we saw there, which is partially covered by the desks. And we could see a back corner (from Toothpick Crew’s perspective) of the room behind Token Hot Gal, so it’s not like there’s much space for a second symbol or the boxes piled up behind him unless it’s very irregularly shaped, but even then the symbol would have to be really out of line with the first one. I guess he could be crammed into a visual void somewhere near the intersection of lines drawn through Hat and Token Hot Gal’s crews but even then that part of the room would need to be deeper than the side she’s standing in just to fit the symbol.
Hell with it. His hagfish-based teleportation trick has radically warped the fabric of local space – which is fine and more teleporters really ought to create lasting deformations in the universe like that, but it still merits a callout.
One guess is that the the first tentacles through the portal, or the portal itself, pushed everything (including the desks) away from the center to clear room for the big guy’s dramatic entrance. That would explain panel 6, along with dramatic lighting effects to obscure the background.
Another option is the center of the rug was sucked backward into the portal making the circle/symbol smaller and also somehow eliminating all folds and wrinkles. Or maybe it just shrank, or maybe it was your “radically warped the fabric of local space” idea. Otherwise the bag-o-heads in panel 7 is roughly the same size as the desks in the last comic.
But seriously, no need to get all technically detailly and point out minor discontinuity issues. It’s all just dramatic artwork in a universe where a human consuming the food energy of normal diet can generate enough power to allow the state of Texas’s independent power grid to eliminate the need for burning fossil fuels.
Nope, it’s the same carpet (or at least, the exact same pattern)
Hmm, you got all 8. Good job, 8 heads in a bag. (slides over brief case) don’t open that where anyone can see it.
Rhubarb rhubarb…. :)
Strawberry Rhubarb Pie With Whipped Cream.
Random memory: I have a CD that has a cut titled Rhubarb, I think the artist was MC 900 Ft Jesus.
Any chance ‘Hagfish’ is related to the tentacle people that Succubae apparently canonically like to party with?
I mean one of them got stuck on Earth a while back and we haven’t seen him for a while.
I see there were 8 heads in that duffel bag. Movie callback to the Joe Pesci movie?
Rather than rhubarb rhubarb why didn’t we go for barbaras rhubarb bar
I think Sydney would get a kick out of the dwarves’ barber having some rhubarb pie at Barbara’s Rhubarb bar.
I love that particular bit. It’s even funnier in the original German (at least if you speak German well enough) – in part because they just leave the spaces out and make a new word out of it each time (yes, that’s actually a thing in German). The final “word” is one giant monstrosity of silly humor.
“skinny girl one-arming a tank over her head” — sounds to me like a callback to #9.
Also the ‘Cute Bruiser’ trope. Like Molly Hayes or Mary Marvel or (usually) Supergirl (especially in her younger versions).
Wasn’t that a reference to Pippi Longstockings?
Pippi Longstockings. Another example of the Cute Bruise trope. :)
I would name the cloak guy Multitudinous Nightmare, O.G. Cringe, Heibby G. Bease, Daphuk, O. Gadwhy, Fish Bait, or maybe That Which Wriggles in the Dark.
Nah, Morris (and he likes to dance, with bells on)
What is Panel 3’s purpose? Why are we being shown Mr. Not-Entirely-Stupid’s watch?
It’s 3 o’clock.
Mr. Not-Entirely-Stupid is checking the time to see if The Hagfish (too late, Dave) is going to be on schedule. Good news, he is!
Basic Media Consumption 101: If a guy checks his watch right before something completely unexpected happens, it wasn’t completely unexpected.
Boss mustache was not glancing at his watch.
Blade girl was thinking, “My eyes are up here, your watch is down there, choose one.” but she won’t say it.
Most likely to show that Mr. Not-Entirely-Stupid either hired that band of supers (and alien) to take out his competition without drawing any suspicion onto him, or they are working together. Either way, The third Triad Boss seems to have already known that Cloakary Cloakface McCloakenson was going to be here at 3 o’clock and was checking his watch to make sure he was on time to play his part in whatever plan they have.
It also does make it more likely that one of his ‘muscle’ might be a super, or at least extraordinarily gifted at their job (most likely the sword girl), as per one of the comment debates on the previous comic page.
Or Mr. Not-Entirely-Stupid is actually a shapeshifter who replaced the real Triad boss.
Didn’t Red Hood do the duffel bag full of heads when he was trying to take over Gotham’s gangs.
Yep. It’s a classic MESSAGE.
Regarding the invotive: it has to be Math behind the booby-trap
It there any doubt about this?
The Book of Nasty recommends casually killing the obligatory two henchmen upon entering in order to really get the attention of their boss. Well, six henchmen and three bosses in this case.
PS: As the name might imply, the Book of Nasty is for roleplaying games and not a recommendation for real life proceedings.
The three WOMEN in the vote incentive can obviously let go of the ropes they’re hanging onto whenever they want, so they must be enjoying the tickling.
According to the bonus comic on Patreon, they actually can’t. The ropes are enchanted.
Did you not notice how those ropes are tied around the hands?
I have to disagree with the duffel bag full of heads: As Cordelia Vorkosigan proved, one well-chosen head in a shopping bag can be far more effective.
High quality matters, even in severed heads.
yeah but as per tradition, she paid too much for it.
So is this what Trent is up to these days? Or this some relative of his?
Oh, sure, Dave–now you’ll have us wondering about other characters’ names. Were Daphne’s parents Scooby Do fans, or just like the name? Has the elder Sydney ever just gone by “Sid?” Did Kenya’s parents just following a trend of country-named kids (I’ve heard also of Asia, China, and America, all of whom are women)? Was Mathius actually named after a biblical character? Was Hiro named after a character in Gundam Wing? Actually, he’s probably older than that anime. Was Rowan named Rowan because he was born with red hair (it doesn’t look very red on my monitor), because his country-hopping parents liked it, or was he named after the Rowan Tree (also called a wizard’s tree in Ireland)? Will Ren ever have his handle (Redline) officially decoded on in comic? Will these questions ever be answered? I’m assuming no, but speculation is fun! :D Also wondering if we’ll ever learn Gerneral Failk’s or Max’ brother’s first names. *shrug*
– I’ve heard also of Asia, China, and America, all of whom are women
There’s a male “America” who, ironically, moved to Vietnam (and makes tankie youtube videos)
– Will Ren ever have his handle (Redline)
If anyone suggests it I hope someone punches them through a few walls. Calling the black guy “redline” is almost as bad as calling him “shacklebolt.”
It is and always will be Blulk.
Not if he has a cat called ‘Stimpy’
His powers are not gross enough to pull that off.
It was suggested years ago, and Dave himself mentioned the handle and his approval of it, back in comic 970’s author’s comment.
https://www.grrlpowercomic.com/archives/comic/grrl-power-516-between-the-anvil-and-the-roof/
Thoughts? Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but I don’t think so.
On sticking with the first name you assign a character. Yeah I have that bad habit as well, made worse by the fact in the last fifteen or so years I have had the habit of quickly writing out a backstory and even a short story for random new characters and then fighting myself if I try to call them something other than what I initially called them, also whenever I try to come up with an alternate name they just don’t ring true to me.
also an alternate problem, coming up with a name I like too much so end up reusing it for different characters with slight alterations (usually not in the same story or setting).
Rune. Rune-X, Rhuen, Rhoan, Ruin, *insert element*-Rune, Rhulan, Ruin-X, Runemon, OmegaRunemon, Rhunalia, etc..
That vote incentive is giving me flashbacks to a very weird corner of Deviantart.
You can say that again.
Just chasing bust dunnies out of the corners.
That vote incentive is giving me flashbacks to a weird corner of Deviantart.
“you gonna put your heads in the bag and then I’m gonna leave”
its so I can get ahead in business.
To be fair we gave space aliens, magic creatures, space magic aliens, and even things from other realities… So Hagfish are revolting and trying to get revenge against humanity isn’t too absurd with all the things happening in their world.
as ab engineer who has taken classes in fluid flow in a pipe this is a classic example of head loss.
A hagfish invasion? Toothpick is even dumber than I thought! I see “Dr. No” glanced at his watch discretely, so I think he was expecting this visit. This makes me think it’s NOT vigilantes, but a super villein group and he’s going to take over. That might identify the hot sword gal as the other member. Plot twist!
Rhubarb rhubarb… is this a common word-replacing thing like blah blah blah, or is it an empowered reference I do detect?
The word is commonly used to make background noise on stage or in film because it’s indistinct. It sounds like it could be a bunch of different words, without clearly being any of them.
Usually, it’s ‘Rabble Rabble’
Look at Sensible and Erudite checking his watch. I think he’s collaborating with the “Hagfish”.
rhubarb rhubarb was the stage acting equivalent of background voices… it murmurs into unintelligible babble when spoken by several players :)
Oh dear… this guy is related to Vale somehow, isn’t he?
The lone fly flying out of the bag is a nice touch.
no under the red hood vibes in the last 2 pages at all.