Grrl Power #1241 – The Mighty Scoville
I think about 90% of you predicted this. I like to keep you guys guessing, but sometimes it would truly make no sense if the characters don’t at least try the obvious path.
The name of the dish is “The Mighty Scoville” in case you were wondering.
I played another Pathfinder session, and in the interest of science and convincing myself that I don’t have evil dice karma, here are my (D20) rolls for the game:
3, 2, 1, 4, 1, 5, 14, 5, 8, 3, 1, 6, 5, 11, 20, 14, 1, 3, 16, 16, 15, 8, 9, 20, 9, 8, 1, 14, 19.
The bold numbers are attack rolls, the other ones are mostly perception rolls, initiative, and misc stuff like will or fort saves.
That means my average attack roll was 10.5, which is not exceptional at all. The non-combat average was 6.9. The total average over all 29 rolls was 8.1. It’s not statistically that far out there, but really, those first 6 rolls had the rest of the table trying to get me to switch dice and/or switch dice rolling tray.
I was using this one cause I like that the outer wall holds about 5 sets of dice. If I don’t limit how many dice I bring I, well, I bring too many dice. I mean I still bring a few “giant” (55mm) D20s, but I just like setting them up around my area so I can fidget roll them around in my hand. I would love to have a 55mm solid tungsten or osmium D20 (osmium is apparently toxic until it oxidizes, but you can put sealant on it) because they would both weigh a surprising amount. Unfortunately I think the tungsten one would probably cost around $4,000, the osmium one would cost… let’s see, total volume of a 55mm icosahedron… weight of that much osmium… convert grams to troy ounces… Roughly $30,000? Yeah, probably not worth it just so someone can pick it up and go “Whoa, that’s surprisingly heavy!”
The new vote incentive is up! This is a bit of a weird one as it’s a character that hasn’t appeared in the comic.
It’s my Ifrit Pathfinder 1e monk, Fray! Ifrits don’t really make great monks in Pathfinder, as player characters they get a +2 to Dex and Cha, but -2 to Wis. For monks, Dex is good, Cha is largely irrelevant, but Wis is important as it can add to your AC and also has something to do with Ki points I think. But I didn’t care. I wanted a character with dark blue/gray skin and glowing orange hair, so that’s what I picked. (I don’t think Ifrit even really have dark skin, so maybe she’s 1/4 Drow? Don’t care. I think she looks cool.) Will she show up in the comic? I mean… maybe? Probably in a Dabbler flashback, but who knows?
As usual, Patreon has her in delicto flagrante.
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You would not want to be in the same room as an osmium anything that was exposed to air.
Osmium stinks. As it implies with the name.
Incidentally, that stinky oxide is terribly poisonous. A very small amount will kill you.
Yeah, Osmium is like if Arsenic and Lead had a baby
I mean you could use Iridium. It’d still be real expensive, but it wouldn’t kill you the moment you aired it out.
Probably not a good idea to make dice out of gallium, though.
But it would be funny!
isn’t gallium a liquid at room temperature?
I suppose we could just work with cold dice.
Not quite; melting point of approximately 30C (88F)
Some rooms do get to that temperature
Which means it can melt in your hand as you prepare to roll it. The dice hit the table and the cool off enough to return to the solid state. Good luck reading what you rolled.
I’ve done some research on this obscure topic, and I’m not sure you’re completely accurate here.
Osmium generally acquires its signature stink when it’s in one of it’s more volotile states, osmium tetroxide, which requires the osmium to be powderised (which is generally its state after it’s processed out of other metals as a byproduct of electrofining or chemical distilation).
The pure substance is a different story though. As brittle as it is, it’s also hard, and without deliberate effort would be difficult to powderise merely by playing with or rolling it. It’s so hard and brittle in fact, that it’s almost impossible to otherwise forge after casting without shattering it.
As an added benefit of this stable nature, pure osmium would actually be nearly immune to oxidization. It would be equivalent to having a die made of titanium, except 4 times as dense.
Incidentally, the reason it’s called osmium is because the first distilled form of osmium discovered was the toxic osmium tetroxide, in thanks mostly to the metal only occurring naturally as an alloy of other metals and needing to be separated through modern chemistry.
Ahh, I also meant to say that there is no recorded evidence that pure osmium is toxic to humans, and so apart from the substantial cost, an osmium die would not be hazardous to your health. Except perhaps marking you as and easy target for scams or robbery.
Like many gamers I have a fondness for dice, but most gamers are interested in materials, patterns and symbols, whereas I mostly care about geometry. Along with the usual assortment of platonic solids, d10s, and d30s, I’ve got rhomboidal d12s, two different shapes of d24s (random hour of the day), a d60 (random minute/second of the hour/minute), a d120, and most useless of all a d48. All of these and more available at The Dice Lab at mathartfun.com. Not a spokesperson, just a satisfied customer
While it’s true that bulk osmium is not considered hazardous, it does oxidize at room temperature, like all the non noble metals. The issue in such case would be build up over time in the room. I personally would not like to take the risk.
It’s a rather unique case really, a metal with a volatile oxide.
Sydney…. this is why we love you
“Why is there wind?”
“Where is that ominous music coming from?”
Queue music The Good The bad and the very very ugly
(Practical effect Tumbleweed)
@ ~~~~____
Operation: Scorched earth, commence!
I think you mean “scorched tastebuds”, but yeah.
Also, the irony of using heat to repel a living flame should not be lost on anyone.
No, they meant ‘Scorched Arse’ :P
3. 2. 1.
Liftoff! We have lift off!
So that’s what a rocket engine nozzle feels like.
Glados: speedy thing goes in. speedy thing goes out
Blue genie…. *Cough* “you’d be amazed what you can live through”
Will punk, do you feel lucky?
“Why is your mouth watering?”
Because you will find out that people who love spicey food don’t have dulled sensitivity. We simply enjoy this kind of heat and you will find out first hand. :3
And given that spicy is not tasted by the tastebuds but by the pain receptors, Lapha is not gonna have a fun time.
Rejoice, Lapha, for Sydney will treat you to an experience you can relish the perfect memory of forever!
Oh, there will be wind all right…
With pretty fluttering effervescent lights coming out of the wrong end, now add some Reagan’s Anal Hell Treatment on top, and no ice cream….
this is an earth dish. (mostly) not gratz. I think the relevant page is before the robbery.
Isn’t the relevant page when she went to Archon’s food court with Peggy and she had to sign an indemnity waiver, after which she got a noodle in her eye and had to use an eyepatch for the press conference later that day?
Agree it’s a terran dish and not grak, but probably from the “Fusion” place in the Arcon building. Sydney was the first person willing to try a specific dish, and it actually sent her to see a doctor: https://www.grrlpowercomic.com/archives/comic/grrl-power-118-got-it-in-one/
A Mighty Wind!
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0310281/
When you order involves quoting 70’s doctor strange and polite cursing, both verbal and magical, to get right and a biohazard container you may have gone too far.
No, that’s breakfast. This order is a lot more involved.
NOW we’re cooking with evil gas!
Surprising no one but at least we get to learn how viable this approach will be. From Lapha’s response it looks like it will work.
I was cackling like a madman reading that last panel.
Honestly, I thought they were gonna distract her out the body, but this is funnier, making the body inhospitable to anything but the native consciousness
Oh YEAH!
Lapha is about to have a VERY bad day.
Just trying to figure out how she will eat it without using her hands. Guessing Dabbler has to subject herself to more torture as well (she should have worn goggles or a gas mask).
Skyhook is always a possibility.
Chemotherapy, Scoviooe style!
Now with added grakz! The terrified anticipation is half the fun!
No. Not Grakz.
The Unmaker.
This reminds me of Doctor Who in The Rings of Akhaten when the baddie, who feeds on memories, chokes up with the Doctor’s memories.
Yeah, but it was Clara’s ‘Dessert’ that finished it off.
That last panel is beautiful
Probability: my high school algebra/trig teacher used to assign ten/10 minutes of after-school detention for every one/1 minute you were late to class. One day a kid came in 6 minutes late.
Mr. W didn’t want to spend an hour after school any more than the kid did, so Mr. W pulled out a quarter and offered to flip for it, double or nothing. Kid called heads. Mr. W flipped. Tails.
Now they both have 2 hours detention. “Call it again; double or nothing!” said Mr. W. Call: heads again. Result: tails.
This continued, with the guy resolutely calling heads until he’d racked up 128 hours of detention, when he broke & called tails. It came up heads. 256 hours of detention.
Mr. W reached into his desk, pulled out an honest-to-god medallion on a big red, white and blue ribbon, “the W Medal of Honor”, hung it on the kid’s neck “for so beautifully demonstrating probability to the class”, and let him off.
A few years ago, magician Wes Isley appeared on Penn & Teller’s Fool Us, who managed to control a series of coin flips so that a person he had pre-selected from the audience was the last one standing. Several things that appear random can actually be controlled with the proper techniques, which may have happened with Mr. W as well.
Pretty much this. The randomness comes from things that most people can’t control in their arm movements. A die roll or coin flip are otherwise bound by physics. Which reminds me of the scene in the TNG episode ‘The Royale’ (I think) where Data cleans up at a craps table as he does have that fine control over his body.
First data had to use said fine motor control to correct improperly weighted dice, before he started controlling said now properly balanced dice, with his rolls.
Reminds me of “The Questor Tapes”.
It’s very easy to control a coin flip with almost a 100% chance if you flip it and slap it onto your arm and a much better than 50-50 chance if you flip it onto the ground, more for a soft flat surface to minimize ‘bounce’.
Just make sure the other person ‘calls’ it before you flip.
Got myself out of a lot of things that way over the years and into a few I might not have otherwise ;)
Oh the epic levels of paperwork disavowing all blame that you have to fill out to order that, much less as just the delivery being.
Dabbler (after putting on the sexiest hazmat suit): I’ll have to spoon feed you..
Sydney: No need! *faceplants into the dish, starts rooting around like a pig*
Lapha: HAAAAAAAALLLP!!
(Also, sexy hazmat suits are a thing, https://www.google.com/search?q=sexy+hazmat+suit&rlz=1C9BKJA_enUS881US885&oq=sexy+hazmat+suit&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUyBggAEEUYOdIBCDU3NDZqMGo3qAIAsAIA&hl=en-US&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8#vhid=0CI24VDRMMuH2M&vssid=l, thanks Breaking Bad)
I don’t see anything on that link that is both sexy and functional.
Well of course it’s not functional. Same way a sexy fireman costume should ABSOLUTELY NOT EVER be used to fight a fire, or a sexy doctor’s outfit does not IN ANY WAY make you qualified to perform open-heart surgery. THAT’S NOT THE POINT!!
Honestly, Lapha is asking the wrong questions.
She should be asking, “Why do I hear Boss Music?”
O Fortuna,
Volutes Luna,
Statu variabilis,
Semper crescis,
Aut decrescis,
Vita detestabilis,
Nunc obdurat,
Et tunc curat,
Luda mentis aciem,
Egestatem,
Potestatem,
Dissolvit ut glaciem…
Because, as much as she denies it, Maxima is also a nerd.
Thanks to Arnold, I can sing these words to their tune.
Darkness beyond Twilight in crimson blood that flows
Buried in the stream of time is where your power grows
I pledge myself to conquer all the foes who stand
Before the mighty gift bestowed in my unworthy hand
Let the fools who stand before me be destroyed
By the power that you and I possess
GRAKZNA SLAVE!
The most effective stuff is those that have a worse afterburn, where it burns more when it comes out.
So Lapha can’t think it is over after eating it.
Yeah, those habanero peanuts I was snacking on when visiting my in-laws in the Philippines; After-burn AND abrasive!
The expression on my brother in law’s face when he tried one was hilarious.
Oh, god, I love those.
I recently discovered that some foods can burn coming out of BOTH exits. Apparently jalapenos can be a bladder irritant.
What’s interesting is some hot/spicy actually cause it to come out of your tear ducts
DaveB, I’m assuming “The Mighty Scoville” is what Fusion decided to name the dish?
Yum, yum. ^_^ Down the hatch…!
They made an exception of the “May not leave the premises” rule because it’s Arclight business. Otherwise you have to have a chemical transportation permit to do takeout.
unfortunately since it is all food safe ingredients it is ‘presumed safe’. the fact that it is not on the official menu, requires a notary signature to order and another to receive or take out, also (if ordered in) causes the party to be reseated at a normally unused table is of course just for dramatic effect. this dish is for entertainment only.
Even then, I BET they took a lot of extra precautions.
I mean, wouldn’t you?
yes, but the precautions are for entertainment only. that’s what the lawyers told us to say.
I’ve always assumed Syndey is related to Wilbur Scoville… perhaps a great-grand daughter?
I had hoped this was next, seeing how everyone was acting when she ate that gantz on the station! Oh Lapha, you WILL be begging to be let out, pleading after 5 minutes, willing to accept ANY punishment just to get away of the torment your about to face… AHAHAHA! May the glowing farts and horrible stomach cramps begin! You picked the wrong person to steal, ‘nough said!
https://www.norsefoundry.com/products/tungsten-boulder-55mm-true-metal-dice
Tungsten 55mm D20 is actually ‘only’ $1250
Even Dabbler’s ear is reacting, trying to seal itself away from the evil miasma.
Lapha would be able to access her memories of “the place that named a dish after her”, so the element of surprise still doesn’t work here.
She would, but with so little to go on and lacking the neural connections Sydney has to just dredge that out of memory, she would have to root through the memories more to actually find it, which would likely take time to fetch, especially with how she seem unable to read short-term memory/thoughts.
Syd is going to sweat this guy back into the other host. That last panel is comic gold!! “WHY IS THERE WIND?!”
Sydney tried to use the 15-minute thing to make sure that Lapha didn’t leave early, meaning she wouldn’t get to eat the food. This isn’t about getting Lapha to leave. This is using Lapha’s presence to get a food treat.
Should have provided a link to Carmina Burana for the last panel!
In the worrds of The Fat Electrician, “It’s not a war crime the first time.”
Would this be considered an act of torture under the Geneva Convention, though?
Is the Geneva Convention future-proofed against us discovering other sentient lifeforms, or does it just say “human”?
Actually, we really should start future-proofing all our human-rights legislation at some point. There’s a couple species on earth that might turn out to be sapient when we figure out how to talk to them.
Given how well we’ve future-proofed our economy (hello, microplastics and climate change), I’m sure that’ll happen Real Soon Now
But does the Geneva Conventions cover nonhumans?
– “Pitiful humans! Your feeble earth-laws don’t apply IN SPACE!!”
– “Oh, yeah? Well, you’re about to wish they did.”
Geneva Checklist in 5…4…3…2…..
US has withdraw from Rome statute in 2002 …
The International Criminal Court cannot prosecute US citizens for the international crimes of genocide, crimes against humanity, war crimes and the crime of aggression.
Torture is illegal in U.S but free from any international prosecution.
Technically US president could pardon war crime…
That would be a good writing prompt for Reddit’s /humansarespaceorcs or /hfy
Unlikely seeing as the person legally recognized as owning the body has specifically requested it.
Is this the kind of stuff Anvil sprayed the interior of a plane with? They were lucky supers get away with almost anything. One of the funniest jokes Dave have drawn by the way.
Lapha: ”You can’t be serious!”
Sydney: ”This is light stuff by my standards. Check the memory about me eating grakz ”
Lapha: ”You are insane”
Maxima: ”Took you long enough to see that ”
“My name is Sidney Scoville. I am having dinner. Prepare to die.”
THIS should have been the text under the comic!
“If I was you I d leave before it get out from the other side”
Sydney in the last panel is probably my favorite shot of her so far.
The question nobody’s asking: Dabbler has all her combat gear on, so why is she being effected by a low-tech, non-magical gas attack?
“The goggles! They do nothing!”
Since capsaicin is an ingredient in food, her equipment probably has an exemption for it for “non-lethal” levels, so that she can eat spicy food and still taste it. Case in point, she’s just been eating chili. The stuff she’s giving Syd is TECHNICALLY non-lethal, but… to quote Jafar, “You’d be surprised what you can live through”.
Dabbler has sweatpants on and a hangover, and she’s doing a food delivery run. She probably doesn’t have defensive spells or gear running.
Her defensive gear is all enchantments in her jewelry, which we’ve never seen her without.
Probably because it’s a low-tech, non-magical attack. Specialized defenses don’t necessarily cover everything weaker.
I … just now realized that her name is a pun.
It’s not a pun, it’s a warning :P
Five 1’s in less than 30 throws… the pain