Grrl Power #1072 – Guard Dood Dee Duty
So what we know about Goon Squad, AKA Ted, so far. He seems to know what happened to his clones at least after they die, but they don’t seem to have any telepathic link between them. The “dress up in the enemy’s armor ploy” certainly wouldn’t have worked if they did. It was a risky plan without knowing that beforehand. Of course, since it’s not revealed who’s in the stolen armor there, we don’t know if they’ve even figured out if this guy is a bunch of dupes. Presumably if you can knock a Goon Squad out without killing or otherwise grievously injuring him, you can loot him without him dissolving into a bunch of… sixlets? (Sixlets are good if you’ve never had them. They’re like Whoppers, i.e. malted milk, but instead of being covered in waxy chocolate, they’re covered in a candy shell like M&M’s.)
But, at least the bad guys are dumb enough to contravene the #1 rule on the Evil Overlords No No list. (Warning, TV Tropes link/rabbit hole.)
Oh yeah, and about that PB & Mayo sandwich mentioned in the stinger. My dad did actually used to eat those. Not a lot, as far as I’m aware, but for sure it happened at least once which was enough to really gross me out. The whole sign-countersign thing is a good idea, and people always seem to forget about it in movies and shows when they know full well they’re up against a shapeshifter, but I’d think you’d have to update your passwords on a pretty regular basis, and you’d also have to be careful not to pick something easy to guess. Even the famous “Lightning – Flash” one is in the realm of guessable. Sure, most people would start with “Thunder” but that’s too obvious, so instead maybe they’d go with “Crash” or “Boom” or “Very very frightening” or something. If I was making up the countersigns, it’d be “Lightning – Hasenpfeffer” or “Marianas” or “Existentialism.”
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“Shut up, Ted!”
Now I’m wondering if that’s a Bill & Ted reference.
Re: PB & Mayo isn’t that weird, I’ve heard of people eating those. I’m fond of PBJ & Mayo, which seems to be a nearly non-existent combo to find other people eating.
Actually I think it’s a Star Wars stormtrooper reference. There’s a bunch of shorts out there where Ted is on guard duty and just keeps chatting up his more serious companion… who just for the love of the emporer wants Ted to shut up.
PBJ & Mayo is actually one of my more favorite Hamburger Condiment Combinations – the jelly’s gotta be Grape though.
I prefer PB and Miracle Whip. Each to their own.
peanut butter and tuna salad (made with miracle whip)
They’re all Ted. The best way to have disposable minions is to just have one minion who can make disposable minions and drop themselves out of existing when dead or incapacitated. Each Ted is purpose spawned. Only the original knows what’s going on across the board. That’s his power. Goon Squad.
Peanut butter, mayo, and white cheese is actually really good. Sounds gross, is delicious. Just like pickle shots.
Lightning?
Very very frightening.
Galileo, Figaro – magnificoo
Galileo, Galileo
Beelzebub has a devil set aside for me.
*musical interlude*
Life is full of little coincidences, when I opened this page I was halfway through a peanut butter and cheeze whiz on oat&honey bread with rye crackers in the middle sandwich.
Several years ago a few guys at work were talking about hamburgers they’d had at an obscure restaurant and both mentioned the ‘peanut butter burger’.
I thought they were making that one up at first but the next time I made hamburgers I added some…ambrosia !! Try it, you’ll like it ;)
We used everything from the simple demand-response passwords to a one time only sheet that even if you had it wouldn’t do you any good because you needed to know the ‘key’.
In a hurry, demand-response is much faster since you don’t have to do any calculations and risk making a mistake, more easily compromised but you can add bits other than just two words, like an identifier, to make it more secure.
Mmmm… peanut butter and mayo. Haven’t had that in ages. Now I want one.
I’m not sending ninja hit squads for this stuff, I’ve decided.
I’m sending rampaging gordon ramsays instead. :)
there is someone better to send….
‘Here’s a nice amuse-bouche, take a poor abused youth
Set a thirty-year timer
Voila! Huge douche!
You’re a namby-pamby candy-ass pansy, Gordon Ramsay”
Yes, send Julia Child!
I don’t know why, but the Sixlet effect immediately screamed “Quantum Entanglement String” to me. I figured he was working with a drain/probability effect. He doesn’t know where his dupes are, or what they’re doing, but he knows when they stop being where they are. Knowing that there were 32 of you in the building when we started, and there are now 6, would definitely give you a “not very well” metric for the invasion.
Also, if they’re probability clones, whether or not you eat the peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwich becomes the split event that creates a new clone. One eats it, the other doesn’t.
Author Chuck Wendig talks about the sandwich
https://terribleminds.com/ramble/2018/05/07/its-time-to-talk-about-the-sandwich/
Author Kevin Hearne Live Tweets the sandwich
https://mobile.twitter.com/KevinHearne/status/1350148157750079488
Author Adam Rakunas on Kevin Hearne’s recipe for the sandwich
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvW7fCUIwoU
Alternatively, Dabbler is doing a role play illusion that she might try again later after the combat stops.
Dabbler is not there, this is happening as the same time as the fight in Galtyn
I’ll top your Dad – I like strawberry mam and mayonnaise. It started with a bologna sandwich and “Hmm I wonder what this would taste like with strawberry jam”. Then I just did the jam and mayonnaise.
Are you sure the authors Dad hasn’t also had your mam covered in strawberry and mayonnaise? >>>>
Sorry.
So wait, if they actually have a human body and are not just made up of sixlets, and only dissolve into sixlets when killed or mortally wounded, why didn’t the guy stabbed in the back of the knee bleed? I seriously doubt just part of him dissolved into sixlets, especially considering he was still feeling the pain.
More importantly though, considering they’re all duplicates of the same person and are very familiar with the sound of their own voice, how did they not recognize that the voice was different? My guess is it’s either a very good shapeshifter, or a mind control spell.
I do love the fact that they are all named Ted, and despite being the same person, they have differing styles of humor. Sure lends to Lord B0unty’s theory of probability clones, and how these split could have been based on comedy.
Maybe they are not very smart. the more copies he does the dumber they are. That is why they are good only as a distraction.
Possible there all wearing voice modulators to cover there identity.
Though that has its own set of problems.
Your mom is cute thou…
Raspberry jam and smoked salmon is really good too
any jam/jelly you like, on top of a fresh hash brown (mcdonald’s style potato patty). It tastes like a fresh pie
Ted probably hides his face when at work for two reasons:
One: He doesn’t want to be identified via photo.
Two: The imposing faceless visor is better for cowing people and just looks cool.
Also, his name probably isn’t really “Ted”, that’s likely just a nickname he uses when on the job.
I wonder if he has a range limit with his copies, as well as if he keeps one of him out of the action in a safe place so he’s not permakilled.
A friend of mine in a previous century had a champions character he used when he was a GM. Henchmen Inc. He was a duplicator that hired his duplicates out as henchmen while at least one of him was someplace safe and comfy cozy. I think he also had a stack of Power Defense and Mindshield so he couldn’t be “coerced” by some of the less scrupulous heroes and employers. He didn’t play favorites, he’d work for anyone, and never divulge anything about a client.
T.E.D. – The Expendable Dummy. Bulk rates available.
Three: his copies all have his face. And he needs to cover that up.
It might work if he only makes 2 or three minions, you can still pass those three off as being evil henchmen triplets (and evil overlords love their unique henches). But anything beyond that having a whole bunch of similar faces starts to look suspiciously like a power is being used.
I am immediately reminded of my brother’s most effective Mage: the Ascension character: a Technocratic defector known as Ted, who also found a way to create non-Awakened dupes of himself, and then used them as his Cult, and trained them all as technomancy Sorcerers. X’D
It only got better when my criminal queen pin decided to go legit, and hired The Ted to become the Security division of the company. He stayed at HQ, where I kept him pumped on Vitamin Q, and used the Army of One(s) to handle any field work that didn’t require an Awakened presence on hand.
Our ST loved it, because had essentially found some great ways to turn the Technocrat’s best tricks back on them, and we started doing some serious Paradigm Engineering. Real Revolutionary, change the world stuff.
Am I the only person to notice the blue lines on the sort-of-door in panel five?
Perhaps all of these people are goons?
Looks like maybe the elevator, with some sort of bar preventing it from opening
The blue lines are motion lines, the black rectangle is the end of Ted’s gun. The composition does make it look like the exit bar on a commercial door though.
The blue lines are the spell or something like that from one of the characters, aren’t they?
The ‘camera’ angle in that panel is directly between the two Teds facing forward. The not-a-bar is the muzzle of Ted’s gun being raised in response to the new Ted walking in to the room.
Interestinly enough, “Dummy” was the countersign…
I thought the term was “bugged out”, as written it means something very different for anyone who’s lived across the pond.
You mean like “f***ed off”? We have loads of ways of saying the same thing with varying levels of crassness.
Same meaning in that sense, but “off” is a preposition or perhaps conjugate verb. Whereas “out” sort of implies the speaker is the direct object of the verb, which inverts the relationship.
It’s a military term they used it on the old M.A.S.H. Tv show it referred to the camp pulling out and moving away from and advancing front line. “We’re bugging out” is what C. Potter yelled after hanging up the phone.
Yes, but ‘buggering’ is something completely different
So it looks like when Ted makes a copy, it has all his knowledge at the time of the copy, but then they become independent from the original. Probably, only the original can make copies. So they do not get telepathy/group mind, etc. that we are used to with Daphne and no other powers, other than a weird from of decomposition on death. This is why they need to talk with each other, or use other traditional forms of communication, like hand signals.
A bad guy that drops loot when you beat him? Sydney is going to be pissed she missed this fight.
(Yes I know he doesn’t REALLY drop loot but it’s close enough)
Why are all the bad guys such idiots?
Good help is hard to find!
Plenty of the ‘heroes’ are idiots as well (will let you decided which ones)
It’s actually just Goon Squad. One of the drawbacks of a guy who provides an unlimited supply of disposable minions is that they’re guaranteed to be dim-witted, poor shots, and easily dispatched by a blow to the head.
And let’s not forget, easily distracted.
the reality is, that most ‘comic book bad guys’ are doing it wrong. see evil overlord list. also, almost anyone smart or strong enough to be a credible threat can make better money doing legal things. take good squad- with the right skill sets he can singlehandedly do all sorts of things that normally take a team. picture 5 guys running a McDonalds at minimum wage each. if he became an electrician and/or a plumber he could send 10 of himself out on jobs- that’s how much an hour? and it wouldn’t be all that easy to catch (it probably isn’t even illegal). if he got certified in the different skills needed he could just build houses, complete all by himself.
crime doesn’t actually pay well, at least the way comic books portray it. there are much easier ways to make money. see certain wings of the ‘news’ entertainment media.
The correct answer to “Lightning” is “Bug”.
im most curious how the imposter managed to sound like Ted
Illusion tattoos have been in the Arc-Light repetoire since the “bank robbery” stunt. Adding something to change the voice would be pretty simple, once you had a sample. And Ted’s the talkative type.
What about Peanut Butter, Jelly and Cream cheese Sandwich? I’ve tried Mayo on a Grilled Cheese Sammich. Better than butter. then there’s ‘The King’s’ (Elvis) Fried Peanut butter and Banana Sammich.
My dad used to do peanut butter, banana and popcorn. we used to toast the bread too
My contribution to the sandwich debate:
Peanut butter, strawberry jam, tomato ketchup, mayo, cheese spread, cheddar cheese.
Yes, all at once. Delicious.
Maybe I’m a monster, but yes, I also like pineapple on pizza.
COMMENCING EXTERMINATUS
THE EMPEROR PROTECTS
Your Emperor may protect you, but The Greater Good protects our pizza!
For TAU! Pineapple forever!
(I worked in a piazza place and got SO SICK of the regular toppings. Sue me!)
there is a lawyer lurking around here. Pineapple pizza always seems to throw off shrapnel.
In fairness, it is the one thing we can safely argue about on the internet without fear. ^_^
Define “regular”.
I consistently top mine with galbi, fermented garlic, roasted sweet red bell pepper strips, and minced kalamata olives. I also like bratwurst with sauerkraut, and jarlsburg cheese, with a mustard base sauce.
…but pineapple is just ruddy heresy!
The only thing more depraved, is that Swedish abomination…what hell hath birthed the monster that makes _banana_ pizza?
one of the weirder things I’ve had on pizza is… after its baked. put fresh lettucs on the pizza. note- pizza topped this way does not reheat well.
Bharda, you’ve clearly led a more interesting pizza life than me…
Banana pizza probably works in that sweet world of dessert pizza. a peanut butter/chocolate sauce instead of tomato.
Actually, believe Hell Pizza (yes, it’s a real place) makes a banana pizza: Banana, Blueberries, Chocolate, White Chocolate and Custard on an original snack base
Some of the things people wanted us to put on pizza have no place in this reality. Even the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ‘would’ turn their noses up at some of what people wanted.
I DID like the baklava desert pizza though.
Liverwurst, sauerkraut, and havarti cheese, with a mustard sauce base and caraway seeds on the crust.
So, can Ted be captured and interrogated? He’s got a lot of self-preservation instinct for a disposable soldier.
I feel Dave should put X in the who’s who occasionally just to mess with people.
Hah hah.
Oh god that would be awesome and hilarious.
we would fill the comment section with ever more strident insitance that X is in _____ panel. when he’s in an another panel. Mario disapproves.
we could turn the comment section into a 4X game!
Honestly, I am starting to suspect that Goon Squad’s Power’s come at a temporary cost… of mental facilities. That is to say, while he can create more bodies with their own equipment, each body becomes dumber the more of them there are. With the POSSIBLE, but not PROBABLE, exception of his main body, that is used as a base line and stays far away from the copies. It explains everything, and gives a reason why he’s (seemingly) hiring out his body double’s as goons.
Of course, his “body double power” could also only work on fully hollow-but-enclosed shapes, which would mean that they can’t be used to identify him, even if they react like normal humans to things like injections, like seen in this page.
DaveB’s dad may have liked eating peanut butter & mayo sandwichs, but I’m kinda partial to mayo with ice cream…
Yes! Peanut butter, tuna fish sandwiches are the best!
Hmmm… so Mr. Amorphous squeezed into stolen armor, or is Vance’s actual powers that he’s a metamorph?
Looks like Goon Squad has a interesting set of powers.
As far as i can deduce The Goon Squad member on the roof is
capable of seeing or feeling what his copies are dealing whit,
as he mention the bayonet minigun and the pain, making me belive he is the originol.
The copies dont seem capable of the same as seen whit
the imposter taking two down while in captured armor.
Also the copies dont like Ted… that sugests that the copies
are individuals and now they are dead.
Either they are all Ted, or there is at least two Ted’s
Could someone please explain what happened here?
Ted 1: Doop dee doo
Ted 2: Shut up, Ted
Ted 3: Hi!
Ted 2: Seems legit.
Ted 3: What’s the password?
Ted 2: Peanut butter?
Ted 1: Thump
Ted 2: Huh what
Ted 3: LOL
But how did Ted 1 go down?
face first
My interpretation of events:
The original Goon Squad is still on the roof. (A range limit on his Shadow Clones?) He doesn’t have a full mental link to the clones, but knows (and somewhat feels) when they are popped. That’s how he can tell things are “going really really badly”.
Ashley has incapacitated the two Goons that went after him. He’s now disguised as one of them, knows they are clones and that they’re all apparently named Ted. X is currently with Ashley as support.
Ted 1 is a clone, Ted 2 is Ashley and Ted 3 is another clone.
Ashley bluffs the ID challenge. Ted 3, as the clones aren’t that bright, is confused long enough for X to take out Ted 1, leaving him open for Ashley to hit Ted 3 with the sleepytime juice.
That would only work if there is more than one X, doubt Dabbles’ X ha been reassigned just because she admitted knowing they are always watching her
And Ashley would be Ted 3, not 2
She’s on deployment. No handler needed thus X is free.
Why would she not need a handler while she is on deployment? Isn’t that when she would need one the most? Specially in a foreign country?
Analyzing Goon Squad’s power, unless there is a range or time limit to his doubles he could have some serious existential crisis issues.
Now we may assume there is an original that needs to stay alive and all other doubles vanish when destroyed or are made up of dots under their suits instead of a human body; and if there is a range or time limit to them this could avoid the existential crisis.
because otherwise he would be like the conciousness version of a slime mold. Unlike Harem who has a conjoined mind between all her bodies; Goon Squad would be like a slime mold that splits, forming exact copies but these then go off and do their own thing; until a specific trigger calls them to all merge back together. In Goon Squad’s case the copy dying triggers this and the original gets the memories of the copy. If there is no time limit or range limit a power like this could lead to some existential crisis issues.
imagine making a double, which is more like dividing into two, and the one just goes off to have their own life. Maybe you set it up so they’d off themselves after a certain amount of time to merge your memories, but they decide not to, and are gone for years, maybe even decades, and suddenly they are hit by a bus or whatever; and then you suddenly get decades worth of experiences flooding into your mind. This could be enough with changes in habits and emotional connections etc…to alter a person significantly, so now you have one person who may argue with themselves on which set of experiences was the superior/dominant experiences and which you should now be…continue your path or rush over to the life the other you was living, possibly have some split personality internal struggles.
I actually do have an alien species like this, but they are closer to a slime mold and naturally have a very different concept of self and individuality, so don’t think of them as a duplicator.
but a human mind is not made for something like this.
Going with your assumption that there is an original and it’s on the roof. He is not range limited as they’re also hitting where Maxima is. He is also not able to copy his gear as the gear remains when the body is not in it. Unlimited goons… but you still have to pay for their gear… is this a video game character?
Best sign/countersign I’ve seen?
*Asks a either or question*
*The correct counter-sign is to say the phrase “fifty-fifty”*
Does anyone else think the idea of telling yourself to shut up is hilarious? I’ve often wondered if I could self duplicate would I get along with me or would I be annoyed with myself.